A New Chapter of Life

         This week has been hard in some ways but at the same time I have been a lot more relaxed then I have been in awhile. There has been some changes in my life this week that are big changes but I'm not going to worry over then, which is a huge step for me. I turely believe what happened, happened for a reason. God was giving me other plans in my mind to pursue and if I couldn't do it where I was then He needed to move me so I could do it.
          I love relaxing these past few days. It honestly feels like a weight has been lifted off my body. I can and have just laid in the middle of my living room floor and felt relaxed with nothing on my mind. I sleep better and seem happier. I can take care of myself more then I use to be able too. It is strange though that I'm not really worrying over getting another job. Then again I have plans and I know God has plans for me too. It is a time I can trust God and see Him work in the way He wants to work. There have been so many times that I have hurried in life and tried to do things my own way and well, we know now that that isn't the best way to handle things.
           I have a plan that I want to and need to stick to this time. Where times before, I didn't have anything planned out or to work towards. I will say though that God has changed my heart after everything I have been though and that is a good thing. I have seen the importance of having family and friends and what it means to be really close to them. That is something I want to try while taking a break from jobs. Learned not to take things for granted like this break. Rest and take care of myself when I have the chance because it is a good thing to do. Times before, it was wanting to go to other countries and changing lives overseas, which I will still do on small trips if I got the chance but there are people in the states that need help too.
           I have everything I need and love near me. Why move away from everything? I still don't get why I am calmer then I have been in the past but like I said I'm not really in a hurry or worried to find something. That is a big deal for me and I think part of it is that I learned that though my last job. My last job grew me a lot because it opened my eyes to things I never knew before. I have a house, family, and friends that love me and that is all that really matters right now. I have seen just this past week how much my family cares for me. I know they always do and they try all the time but I think this week I could just take that caring and advice in without anything else on my mind.
            Everything has a different feeling then before. I am just amazed that though all of this I can see how much I have changed. I don't know what God has planned next for me and I might be a little scared because I know whatever it is it will be new for me but at the same time I know God has it under control. It is strange because I would rather take a few weeks crafting and sewing and reading then really looking for a job. It is really different when you work 40 hours under stressful situations and then you go to a time where you are doing nothing. Nothing can compare to the job I just had and I did grow a lot through that job.
           If I move anywhere it would be back to where I started my life, which is around Joplin, MO. I would not what to go more north. I would and am around the places and people that I love and care about. I have made too many good friends here in AR that it would be really hard to leave them right off the bat. I'm not stressing about what is next for my life because I know God has that under control so I am trusting Him with it. For now, I am just relaxing in His Peace and Trust. We are talking it out a lot more then I use to with Him and I'm reading His Word a lot more. I am just feeling a peace that I never felt before and I don't want to get rid of it fast. I want to take each day as it comes in His Peace and Path for me.
          I mean I'm almost 30 (3 more year) but I need to really think about where I want to be in those next 3 years and then after. Do I need to take more schooling? Do I want to live in AR or MO or somewhere else? Do I want to get married if so then I need the time and calmness to get to know guys around me? This is not something that I'm taking lightly but I really have a lot that I still need to work on with me and I can't do any of those things if I'm not healthy yet. Not too many people take the time to enjoy the peace that God gives them or the relaxation that He gives you just to deepen relationships whether with Him or with people around you. I want to be able to encourage and listen like I use to be able to do. That is something big that I have missed lately about myself.
          If you are looking for me, I will be talking and relaxing In God's Peace. There might be chaos going on around me but I feel like I'm in God's peace and that is a first for me. I will get back in that chaos later on but for now let me enjoy God's Peace. I've done my 2 and a half years and even though it was rewarding it was hard too.