Freedom From Stuff

        As I sit in front of my computer, typing and eating pudding, I think about this past week and what I did and learned. The Bible study that I had on Tuesday night was very powerful. It was about "letting God take care of your business, if you will only take care of His business." There has also been a friend in that study that as been encourage me every time she talks about it, which I was thinking she did twice, about cleaning out her garage and the "stuff" she was saving for the future when she would get married and have house. It was like she was holding on to those things and that hope instead of God. That stuff had her in bondage from the freedom God could give her.
         As I just sat in the car and met with her a couple of times, just her and me, I got to thinking too, What am I holding onto? Could my anxiety and stress come from holding on and hoping for so many things? After the Bible study Tuesday night, I went home and study just putting clothes in trash bags. Clothes I know that were out of style and that I needed to get rid of for years but either didn't want to or just made excuses for not having the time. I will agree that some of those clothes styles were from high school (10 years back) and even longer because there was one moment that I wore the dress and it was special to me at that time but never wore it again. It was a lot easier and every night after work I would try and fill at least one trash bag full of clothes.
          I have 4 trash bags full of clothes now to take to the children's shelter for the teenage girls and younger to pick out from. I also took 5 of my really good dresses today and gave it to the girls too. To me, they need the dresses to look pretty and feel confident more then me. They don't get that kind of pretty and good stuff. I kept thinking this week too that I work at a place now that I can donate my clothes and see them being used and now that it is for the good of the girls. There are some things that I'm taking home this next week like some toys or some keepsakes that really have important meanings and yes, I'm still in the keeping things for a project mode too. I can honestly say through when I put those clothes in the trash bags it did not hurt me once like it use too. I felt so free and happy just knowing someone else could use them.
            I will admit that I was happy too because some of them, like 2 bags, I was going to take to a store and get some money out of them but that didn't happen. All my clothes are too faded or way out of style for the shop I took them too. They are not the brand name type of clothes the store likes. When I left the store I was kind of upset at it. The question in my head was: "Why just do brand name clothes? I mean I had some that could look brand name but wasn't and they still didn't take those." It was strange but then I got to thinking all well more for the teenage girls at the shelter. My goal in all of this is to be "free" from my high school years and back and start anew. Buy the new clothes in style now when I get the chance and make new memories.
            I know it sounds strange but that is one way I'm getting rid of some of my past and my anxieties because they are just reminders hanging in my closet. I don't need those reminders of my past anymore. I want to make a new start and make new memories. I also got to thinking earlier that it is strange how different people get rid of different things for different reasons. I have the one friend I talked about earlier getting rid of her future things, have another friend that is getting rid of her past things because she is thinning out so she can move because she got married about a year ago and they are looking to move, and then here I am getting rid of my old high school memories. It is really showing 3 stages of life just right here.
           First stage, living by yourself and trying to find out who you real are in Christ. Second stage, living life out for Christ in the present instead of anywhere else. Third, living Christ out in your marriage or big changes and challenges. It is strange how something so simple can mean so much and make you feel so free to move on. My next project is getting rid of some of my high school reading books and hopefully, I can only get down to 2 small bookcases instead of 3 small bookcases. It would make my little apartment look big if I could do that. Also, I feel like God is not wanting me to move to a bigger place right now because I have tried the past two summers and can't fine a place that will take me in or that I like. I'm taking this cleaning out as a sign from God that maybe I just need to give things away and not hoard all this stuff. If I get a bigger apartment, would I just fill it up again with things I don't need? Then, would I feel really lonely living by myself with all that stuff?
            Even cleaning the apartment or house, God has a reason for you to be doing that if only you can see it through God's eyes. Everything has a purpose when it comes to pleasing God, even the little things like cleaning things out. This entry is from my homemaker side of me. Just in case you couldn't tell. If I can keep looking at cleaning like this especially when God decides to make me a stay at home mom then I might keep my sanity together most of the time.