A Letter to Myself

         I was going to try and pass up today but then I realized that I needed to post this letter and it is something that I could do really fast if I had the time. Well, I have the time so I'm going to post it really fast. This letter actually started out as a letter to one of my friends but when I was typing and reading it, I thought about it some. I thought that it is actually what I needed to tell myself. It was something I needed to hear. Sometimes it is so easy to encourage a friend but yet so hard to admit that we need the same help or more of it. I will say that my friend was the first one that I have typed and put together everything that was going on in my life lately in short version because I knew my friend wouldn't like a more then 2 page email sent to them. Lucky, it was that short or maybe a little shorter. I put my friend's name at the start of the letter that I sent but I changed it to mine because I needed that encouraging talk myself.
           We are so fast at trying to fix others' problems and it could be because we care or at least that why I try but we won't take time for our own problems. I hate seeing people upset and stressed especially when I have been there or are there. Here is the letter that I sent to my friend but with my name at the start of it:


          (Yelling at myself): Tiffney Nicole Wilson-

           First of all, you are never a dummy. Think positive thoughts. Second of all, there is no one that understands what you are going through better then me right now. Yes, we might forget from time to time that God has things under control and try to take it into our own hands but that never makes us a dummy that just makes us human. I've been embrassed to share what I'm going through right now with people. I loved seeing that not everything is prefect in life because it just means we are human. We can't do anything without God's help even in the simplest of times sometimes. Here is what I'm going through and I really believe it is part of God's plan. Don't know how yet but things will turn out good and for His glory. I'm learning to trust Him more everyday through all of this because I know He has some reason for it. 

         I got let go last part of July and still no job. I'm getting no unemployment right now. I'm going to have to be on Medicare for some time until I do find another job. I've interviewed for let's see 8 places and no one wants me yet. I'm about ready to give up too. Giving up the one thing that I love to do because some people disagree with me on little things but yet I know that I might have to fight for that same thing. What is keeping me going is the children. There has been times where I just wanted to move back to my parents' house and forget all of this. Yet, I know God has something big in store for me after all of this is over. I'm taking one class now at the community college and I'm getting back to taking care of myself, which I didn't do when I had a job. 

           It is one thing after another. It was the lost of my job. Then my grandma, aka my last grandparent, passing away after that. Then finding out I won't get unemployment. All things on top of the everyday life things. It is not easy. There has been times where I just had to be real with God and just cry to Him because I don't get what He is doing. I don't get all this stress but yet I'm trying to trust and trying to stay faithful in everything. Another thing that scares me since I'm not getting unemployment right now is my financial situation. I have to be extra careful with that and honestly that is stressful too. 

            As you can kind of see too, I have a lot of my mind too. It is hard giving it over to God at times but that is the best thing we can do. God is making us stronger for the next thing in life. I truly believe that maybe my next job or path that He has for me will be easier because of what He is putting me through right now. Plus maybe spend some time with the nieces. I know I did that last night and it brought a smile to my face. Just playing with her made me forget about grown up things for awhile. It made me realize that I need to spend more time with her because who knows where I'll be or what I'll be doing in the next few months. 

           Remember God is always there and helping us even in the hardest times when it might not seem like He is. He just wants us to trust and love Him in everything. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Another thing to remember is no one is prefect expect through the eyes of God and He is the one we should be fixed upon, not the man of this world. God-pleasing, not people-pleasing. 

Romans 8:28 has helped me get through some of the times and it is one I repeat a lot right now.