I just wanted to say that I'm starting my 2nd year at the job I'm at now. Nothing big but something strange did happen yesterday. My co-worker said, "I went home and thought last night about how we are making it through and it must take some very spiecal people to do this." We are short handed at our job for now. I was thinking, "It was and is God's grace and strength and love that gets me through everyday here. It's what got me through a year here." I just found that so rewarding after a year that someone would say that it takes speical people to do our job and it does. I've been told over and over for 8 years that it takes someone speical and with enough patience to work with preschool aged children. That was enough encouragement me to get more through another year! :) Plus the encouragement I got from my small church group this past Sunday about how I was doing something important and how they would like to have my job. I'm in the right place for right now and I'm lovin' it! Here is to another full year!
Sorry I'm writing almost like everyday now just a lot is happening and a lot on my mind too. Writing it out really does help and what I write are things I want to remember later on. They are sweet moments at work or what I'm learning most of the time.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Yes is my Favorite Word
I love my kiddos at work and are there for them no matter how hard work gets through the years. I say that because it is something I have to remind myself everyday and today is my one year anniversy that I have been at my "new" job. It was funny because I learned an important life lesson from one of my kiddos yesterday and it seemed to be at the right time. Don't you love when God does that?
The lesson was, summed up in one sentence, "When you say yes in life you will have a positive outlook on it because if you say no then you will be sad all the time." Mind you. This is from a 5 year old little boy that has been in foster care. Here is the whole story/convo. I had with him yesterday and how that saying came about:
I asked him, "Is it okay if you drink out of a sippy cup just for tonight at supper?" The little boy said, "Yes, I will be happy with everything you guys give me. I will keep saying yes because it is my favorite word." I said, "Well, I'm glad it is not "no" because that is the favorite word of most kids his age. The little boy said back, "If it was no then I would be sad."
Sometimes it makes me think about how negitive we can be in our own lives. How many times have we said no to God because it is hard or not what we want but yet it is what God wants to give to us to make our lives easier but we just can't see it now. Going through something that is hard but in the end you will be thankful for what you do have and whatever you get because you know God is always on your side. We are humans and as humans we tend to think negtive about ourselves and others at times but we shouldn't be that way. We should look to God and see the good and positive things that can come out of every moment even hard moments.
This saying also taught be to be thankful for everything even if it is something as little as a sippy cup because we could be drinking out of a fountain or worse yet a pond. I know as an adult yes can be a bad word too because when you say yes to everything as an adult you get way too busy to make time for things so it can be used both ways. I know I should be saying yes to God more often then I am and if I did then in a way I would be happy more. The words "yes" and "no" can have such impact on how we live our lives and what we do with it. It is the simple things that have the most impact. We just need to find out who to say "no" to and who to say "yes" to. "No" to humans and our flesh and "Yes" to God and His Plans for us! That could be something important to remember too.
The lesson was, summed up in one sentence, "When you say yes in life you will have a positive outlook on it because if you say no then you will be sad all the time." Mind you. This is from a 5 year old little boy that has been in foster care. Here is the whole story/convo. I had with him yesterday and how that saying came about:
I asked him, "Is it okay if you drink out of a sippy cup just for tonight at supper?" The little boy said, "Yes, I will be happy with everything you guys give me. I will keep saying yes because it is my favorite word." I said, "Well, I'm glad it is not "no" because that is the favorite word of most kids his age. The little boy said back, "If it was no then I would be sad."
Sometimes it makes me think about how negitive we can be in our own lives. How many times have we said no to God because it is hard or not what we want but yet it is what God wants to give to us to make our lives easier but we just can't see it now. Going through something that is hard but in the end you will be thankful for what you do have and whatever you get because you know God is always on your side. We are humans and as humans we tend to think negtive about ourselves and others at times but we shouldn't be that way. We should look to God and see the good and positive things that can come out of every moment even hard moments.
This saying also taught be to be thankful for everything even if it is something as little as a sippy cup because we could be drinking out of a fountain or worse yet a pond. I know as an adult yes can be a bad word too because when you say yes to everything as an adult you get way too busy to make time for things so it can be used both ways. I know I should be saying yes to God more often then I am and if I did then in a way I would be happy more. The words "yes" and "no" can have such impact on how we live our lives and what we do with it. It is the simple things that have the most impact. We just need to find out who to say "no" to and who to say "yes" to. "No" to humans and our flesh and "Yes" to God and His Plans for us! That could be something important to remember too.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Our Loving Father in Heaven
"When children go back to their parents that do not watch over them at all and doesn't even care for them most of the time, what does that say about adults when we won't go to a Loving Father and trust Him with everything when He is the Perfect and Holy One."-Tiffney Wilson
I came up with this thought when I was praying. God seems to put those right children and moments in my life when I need them the most and He has a way of getting me to take those children's moments and turning them into a Godly lesson for my life like He did with this one last night. I was putting my little girls to bed when one of them started to talk about her mommy and how she missed her.
It was hard at first because I was putting the other little girl to sleep because she is one where if you leave her side she will sit straight up and not go to sleep. When the little girl I was sitting by was almost asleep or at least calmed down I went to get the other girl and rocked her. While I was rocking her, she was saying things like "my daddy locked my mommy out of the house, I slept in the same bed with my mommy, and I miss my mommy." I thought nothing of the meaning behind it for me last night but I rocked her and told her "she was beautiful, she is safe, and that I love her."
It wasn't until this morning during my prayer time that God knocked on the door of my heart with the moment. I felt like He was saying, "Don't you feel like that little girl did last night sometimes? All alone and scared. Feel like no one wants you or likes you for you." Strangely enough, I answered, "Yes." Then thought, if that little girl or any of the children could go back to their parents that have messed up with them or hurt them in anyway they would go right back because that is all they know and love deeply. They don't understand why the hurting is going on all they know is the people and for some reason they love me and this is how they show their love, sadly enough.
If the children I work with can go back to their parents like that, then what is stopping us, as Christians, going to our Perfect, Loving, Holy Father that would never hurt us but yet sent His own Son to die for us so we would be saved from the pain of sin. If the children have that much trust in their parents not to do it again, then we should have more Trust in our Heavenly Father that He knows what is best for us and will show us the way and will provide that way. A lot of times we put God in a box and I first heard this in college in our church basement, and only let God out when needed. He is our Father all the time and all the time He is good. We should be running to Him for help because we can be sure we will get it. We should be able to trust that He will provide because He will. Unlike my children's parents, some of them try but others don't care.
Lesson here: We should be like the little children and run to our Father when we are scared or feel lonely, confuse, or unwanted because the truth is that we are Loved more then we could ever think of. Even though, things might not make sense now and they seem like a mess, our Father knows what is best for us and does care for us.
I came up with this thought when I was praying. God seems to put those right children and moments in my life when I need them the most and He has a way of getting me to take those children's moments and turning them into a Godly lesson for my life like He did with this one last night. I was putting my little girls to bed when one of them started to talk about her mommy and how she missed her.
It was hard at first because I was putting the other little girl to sleep because she is one where if you leave her side she will sit straight up and not go to sleep. When the little girl I was sitting by was almost asleep or at least calmed down I went to get the other girl and rocked her. While I was rocking her, she was saying things like "my daddy locked my mommy out of the house, I slept in the same bed with my mommy, and I miss my mommy." I thought nothing of the meaning behind it for me last night but I rocked her and told her "she was beautiful, she is safe, and that I love her."
It wasn't until this morning during my prayer time that God knocked on the door of my heart with the moment. I felt like He was saying, "Don't you feel like that little girl did last night sometimes? All alone and scared. Feel like no one wants you or likes you for you." Strangely enough, I answered, "Yes." Then thought, if that little girl or any of the children could go back to their parents that have messed up with them or hurt them in anyway they would go right back because that is all they know and love deeply. They don't understand why the hurting is going on all they know is the people and for some reason they love me and this is how they show their love, sadly enough.
If the children I work with can go back to their parents like that, then what is stopping us, as Christians, going to our Perfect, Loving, Holy Father that would never hurt us but yet sent His own Son to die for us so we would be saved from the pain of sin. If the children have that much trust in their parents not to do it again, then we should have more Trust in our Heavenly Father that He knows what is best for us and will show us the way and will provide that way. A lot of times we put God in a box and I first heard this in college in our church basement, and only let God out when needed. He is our Father all the time and all the time He is good. We should be running to Him for help because we can be sure we will get it. We should be able to trust that He will provide because He will. Unlike my children's parents, some of them try but others don't care.
Lesson here: We should be like the little children and run to our Father when we are scared or feel lonely, confuse, or unwanted because the truth is that we are Loved more then we could ever think of. Even though, things might not make sense now and they seem like a mess, our Father knows what is best for us and does care for us.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Failure vs. Learning
This week has fit my blog title well and so have my experiences strangely enough. It's been a hard time for me at work and in my personal life this week. Get those two things together and nothing goes right. That's how I felt this week. I felt like I failed a lot more then one time. I was the only one in preschool working and after day one being by myself. I felt like I was doing every little thing wrong. I would fill something out wrong or forget to do something and so on but never once would I get a thanks for working during this hard time. I know I don't do my work for man but it would be nice every once in awhile espically when it is really hard.
If those two days weren't enough to make me feel like a failure, let's add another situation in to where I'm suppose to feel safe and smart and actully thought I was going to have a reasonable day into the week. If I didn't feel like much of a failure after working two days by myself, let's add a situation in where I've failed at least 5 times and put that on top of the 3 times I've failed this week as a reminder of you are a failure. This all is how I felt when I got home last night but talking to some of my friends have helped a lot. I stayed up late talking to one of my friends last night and then I talked to one this morning and she really helped me see the situation I am right now in a whole new way.
As most of you know, my heart is for children, as has been and always will be. I learned best from children because they are who I am around most of the time. Children are great teachers because they are not scared of anything or to say anything. They will tell you like it is and act like it is. My friend pointed out to me that I'm not a failure but a learner. I'm just learning things slowly and in a different way then other people. With children, they learn different ways too whether visual, them talking to you, or physical they learn different ways. For me, I am a visual learner most of the time espically in school. I think through life though I might be the person that you just have to tell it like it is face to face whether it will hurt me or not.
I do get a lot out of people's actions and I know when something is up when they are acting differently around me. If you want me to really understand who you are and why you are doing what you are doing, then you need to tell me face to face because I'm also the kind of person that tends to think more then she should about everything. I daydream a lot. Always have and again always will. I'm being a learner in life right now and you never stop learning new things in life because once you get one thing fiurgred out then you have another thing to deal with it seems like. I'm learning who I am though my children at work, family, and my older friends.
One lesson I'm learning right now espically though the children I work with is that we all want to feel like we are loved and wanted. For us, Christians, we are loved and wanted by Christ and there is no better person to be loved and wanted by. As those little children look up to me every time they fail at something or learning something new about life, that life can be great, I'm learning that Christ loves and wants me just like those children want me. Why do I strive for earthly love and want when I have the best two loves there are on this earth-Christ and children? Who could ask for more then that? I'm blessed in so many ways and I lost track of that this past week espically yesterday when everything went out of wrack. It is a hard thing to remember on my part but I need to try and remember it. We all do if we have Christ as our Savior.
We all learn different ways and at different times. None of us are failures. God just has a different road for us to go down then the person beside us. God has a time table for each of us, to make us beautiful, and in ways if it is meant to bring people in and out of your lives then all you can do is thank them for being there when they were and thank God for putting them there at the hardest of times, the easiest of times, both, or all.
If those two days weren't enough to make me feel like a failure, let's add another situation in to where I'm suppose to feel safe and smart and actully thought I was going to have a reasonable day into the week. If I didn't feel like much of a failure after working two days by myself, let's add a situation in where I've failed at least 5 times and put that on top of the 3 times I've failed this week as a reminder of you are a failure. This all is how I felt when I got home last night but talking to some of my friends have helped a lot. I stayed up late talking to one of my friends last night and then I talked to one this morning and she really helped me see the situation I am right now in a whole new way.
As most of you know, my heart is for children, as has been and always will be. I learned best from children because they are who I am around most of the time. Children are great teachers because they are not scared of anything or to say anything. They will tell you like it is and act like it is. My friend pointed out to me that I'm not a failure but a learner. I'm just learning things slowly and in a different way then other people. With children, they learn different ways too whether visual, them talking to you, or physical they learn different ways. For me, I am a visual learner most of the time espically in school. I think through life though I might be the person that you just have to tell it like it is face to face whether it will hurt me or not.
I do get a lot out of people's actions and I know when something is up when they are acting differently around me. If you want me to really understand who you are and why you are doing what you are doing, then you need to tell me face to face because I'm also the kind of person that tends to think more then she should about everything. I daydream a lot. Always have and again always will. I'm being a learner in life right now and you never stop learning new things in life because once you get one thing fiurgred out then you have another thing to deal with it seems like. I'm learning who I am though my children at work, family, and my older friends.
One lesson I'm learning right now espically though the children I work with is that we all want to feel like we are loved and wanted. For us, Christians, we are loved and wanted by Christ and there is no better person to be loved and wanted by. As those little children look up to me every time they fail at something or learning something new about life, that life can be great, I'm learning that Christ loves and wants me just like those children want me. Why do I strive for earthly love and want when I have the best two loves there are on this earth-Christ and children? Who could ask for more then that? I'm blessed in so many ways and I lost track of that this past week espically yesterday when everything went out of wrack. It is a hard thing to remember on my part but I need to try and remember it. We all do if we have Christ as our Savior.
We all learn different ways and at different times. None of us are failures. God just has a different road for us to go down then the person beside us. God has a time table for each of us, to make us beautiful, and in ways if it is meant to bring people in and out of your lives then all you can do is thank them for being there when they were and thank God for putting them there at the hardest of times, the easiest of times, both, or all.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Being "Just" the Helper
I have the personality of a "Helper". What is that, you might ask. It is where a person likes to be behind the leader or other people. I see that more clearly at work now this week then I ever have. I guess because in a way I am by myself and seeing how much I have to remember and do by myself. I've always work with someone or been an assistant to someone. I feel bad that I have that kind of personality but in a way it is a good thing to have.
I keep reminding myself when I get really down about who I am that someday I will be glad that I'm just the Helper and more importantly that God made us, women, that way to start with. I'm not saying that a woman should get stepped on all over. I'm seeing more and more that for me, personally, I'm a Helper and like it that way. I don't like to come up with ideas all the time or handle things espically big things all the time. I'm not that person at all. Maybe it's because I don't have the confidence right now and the more I grow the more I will get that way. I don't know but I know for now I'm not.
I'm not saying that I would let my husband step all over me either. I can get pretty stubborn when the time calls for it. I can hold my ground believe me and I think I would do better with people I know like my own family. I'm just scared to hold my ground at any job because I'm scared it comes out mean and/or bossy at times espically when I am very busy. I just think I can see a fine line between being a woman leader and being the "Helper" like we were made to be by our husband's side. I want to be the one that just cares and nutures the children and have fun with them like a mother is suppose to do. That's her job.
I want to be that stay at home mom. It is a busy job but at the same time it can be a fun one. You get to bake, plan events, do crafts, and play with the children. I so have the right degree for me even though you really don't need a degree to do that job. :) I know I keep going back and forth on this big dream and then back to this little dream but it's true. I know my heart's desire is to be that mom to some children. I'm not quite sure how just yet whether my own children's home but then I would get no time with the children or my own family. I need to firgure out a way to do both. I need to just run my own home. Just go for it and forget about what other people think or I will get nowhere in life.
I need to stop making up ideas and stick with one. I think the problem is though that I would want to stay at home with them and when you foster by yourself that is impossible to do because the state looks to see if you have a stable job to provide for them. I don't think I can do both. I have a one track mind and that mind would be on the children back home and not on work. I know I need to do more research and work for it because you need to work for a mircale to happen or let God work through you but until you get down to business yourself the Spirit can't work though you. It is like you have to start the work and God will finish it.
It is just like I'm seeing who God made me to be and He is making me in His Image but yet I'm all alone or so I feel like that. I honestly keep thinking where is my future husband like any normal girl in their 20s do but I know too that God has a lot to show me still. I also keep thinking I'm perfect for some guy out there, the perfect (well, ok not perfect because we all mess up) home wife, and maybe I am but one: God doesn't want to give me up yet and two: I just haven't found the right one yet. You get my idea espically if you are a women. :) I'm the "helper" for God right now and right now that is all that should matter. God should be my 1st man and my eyes should be looking into His Eyes and He will be my Leader and me His Helper.
I keep reminding myself when I get really down about who I am that someday I will be glad that I'm just the Helper and more importantly that God made us, women, that way to start with. I'm not saying that a woman should get stepped on all over. I'm seeing more and more that for me, personally, I'm a Helper and like it that way. I don't like to come up with ideas all the time or handle things espically big things all the time. I'm not that person at all. Maybe it's because I don't have the confidence right now and the more I grow the more I will get that way. I don't know but I know for now I'm not.
I'm not saying that I would let my husband step all over me either. I can get pretty stubborn when the time calls for it. I can hold my ground believe me and I think I would do better with people I know like my own family. I'm just scared to hold my ground at any job because I'm scared it comes out mean and/or bossy at times espically when I am very busy. I just think I can see a fine line between being a woman leader and being the "Helper" like we were made to be by our husband's side. I want to be the one that just cares and nutures the children and have fun with them like a mother is suppose to do. That's her job.
I want to be that stay at home mom. It is a busy job but at the same time it can be a fun one. You get to bake, plan events, do crafts, and play with the children. I so have the right degree for me even though you really don't need a degree to do that job. :) I know I keep going back and forth on this big dream and then back to this little dream but it's true. I know my heart's desire is to be that mom to some children. I'm not quite sure how just yet whether my own children's home but then I would get no time with the children or my own family. I need to firgure out a way to do both. I need to just run my own home. Just go for it and forget about what other people think or I will get nowhere in life.
I need to stop making up ideas and stick with one. I think the problem is though that I would want to stay at home with them and when you foster by yourself that is impossible to do because the state looks to see if you have a stable job to provide for them. I don't think I can do both. I have a one track mind and that mind would be on the children back home and not on work. I know I need to do more research and work for it because you need to work for a mircale to happen or let God work through you but until you get down to business yourself the Spirit can't work though you. It is like you have to start the work and God will finish it.
It is just like I'm seeing who God made me to be and He is making me in His Image but yet I'm all alone or so I feel like that. I honestly keep thinking where is my future husband like any normal girl in their 20s do but I know too that God has a lot to show me still. I also keep thinking I'm perfect for some guy out there, the perfect (well, ok not perfect because we all mess up) home wife, and maybe I am but one: God doesn't want to give me up yet and two: I just haven't found the right one yet. You get my idea espically if you are a women. :) I'm the "helper" for God right now and right now that is all that should matter. God should be my 1st man and my eyes should be looking into His Eyes and He will be my Leader and me His Helper.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Perfect Landscape for my Dream
I have been thinking about my dream a lot lately and the kind of landscape that I want for it and the buildings I want on that landscape. I never have put that kind of thought into until I noticed I was driving past it on the way to work and from work on the way home when it was snowing. Funny how God brings things to your attention when you don't think about it or put two and two together.
I have always wanted something out in the country whether it is my house or business. I'm half country girl and I intend to stay that way and give children the same experience that I had as a child in the country because it is unforgettable. Of course, I had great people to copy too. :) The landscape is in the country with some land. Maybe 6-11 acres? I've always wanted to start a preschool or daycare of my own too. So maybe a preschool school building or any school building for that matter? Then, of course, you have to have a house for you and the children or family you live with. Then, if possible, have 3 small buildings for something else.
Another thing that I always dreamed about doing is redoing my own house. It's ok if it needs to be redone. Yes, it will cost more money but it will be fun doing it in the process if it isn't that bad to start out with. I could live in the house for a year or 2 and get everything nice before I start my business. I mean I have a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences with Child Development. This dream would fit me perfectly.
What I don't like about that dream is how much it would cost me. Why does money always have to get in the way? I know I could write grants and get them from people and I know people that can write them in my family and my friends. Most of them do write grants or did. That seems like it would take forever though and you have to know the right people and research the right people to get the grants from. See who cares about your dream and your mission. Money is the only thing really stopping me right now. I just need to found out a way to get the money that I need to buy this land when I find it. Another thing I don't want is for that place to be right by a road or a highway because with children that can be scary.
Don't know what I would do if I would find one by the road and that costs a lot of money. If it is meant to be, God will firgure out a way if I keep talking to Him about it. I don't usually ask for prayer at all on my enteries but if you are a friend reading this or just some person who believes in and likes to pray please pray for me and for this to happen.
I have always wanted something out in the country whether it is my house or business. I'm half country girl and I intend to stay that way and give children the same experience that I had as a child in the country because it is unforgettable. Of course, I had great people to copy too. :) The landscape is in the country with some land. Maybe 6-11 acres? I've always wanted to start a preschool or daycare of my own too. So maybe a preschool school building or any school building for that matter? Then, of course, you have to have a house for you and the children or family you live with. Then, if possible, have 3 small buildings for something else.
Another thing that I always dreamed about doing is redoing my own house. It's ok if it needs to be redone. Yes, it will cost more money but it will be fun doing it in the process if it isn't that bad to start out with. I could live in the house for a year or 2 and get everything nice before I start my business. I mean I have a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences with Child Development. This dream would fit me perfectly.
What I don't like about that dream is how much it would cost me. Why does money always have to get in the way? I know I could write grants and get them from people and I know people that can write them in my family and my friends. Most of them do write grants or did. That seems like it would take forever though and you have to know the right people and research the right people to get the grants from. See who cares about your dream and your mission. Money is the only thing really stopping me right now. I just need to found out a way to get the money that I need to buy this land when I find it. Another thing I don't want is for that place to be right by a road or a highway because with children that can be scary.
Don't know what I would do if I would find one by the road and that costs a lot of money. If it is meant to be, God will firgure out a way if I keep talking to Him about it. I don't usually ask for prayer at all on my enteries but if you are a friend reading this or just some person who believes in and likes to pray please pray for me and for this to happen.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Food plots-Mark 4:1-34
I'm not going to write the verses out because there are 34 of them and this would make a really long entery so I'm just going to say it in my own words and then what it means to me. If you would like to look it up you can.
These are the chapters that Jesus uses to teach so they are stories and illustrations. Most of us, if we grew up in a Christian home, have heard these stories over and over and we know what they mean but I was studying them this week and got a new point of view on them. These are the stories of the farmer scattering the seeds, illustration of the growing seed, and the illustration of the mustard seed. I found these stories to be interesting as I thought about the fields which the seeds were in and how they grew. To me, the 3 different seeds that the farmer planted, means that we have to have good grounds with the people we are trying to reach or nothing will happen.
When I was really reading these stories a food plot came to mind along with all the other kinds of fields that a farmer can plant. Everything starts small like a seed but then it grows. It can grow into a food plot and then a great big field. That seed that you or the Lord started might start out small but it will turn into something big for Him if people take care of it. Give it encouragement and the things it needs. In a food plot you could be limited to how many seeds you can plant or people you can reach. You are trying to get people in that food plot so you can teach them about God's Words and then you can release them out into the world. I'm thinking along the lines of food plots for deer. Not quite the same but do you see the comparison I'm trying to make.
The illustration of the mustard see does just this. Whatever you start out doing don't give up because it can become big. It takes that one mustard seed in a little food plot to make a big field. In time, though, it will keep growing wiser and older causing it to move on to different things and places but yet it still has that power.
The Kingdom of Heaven is like that as well as the plans God has for our lives. We might not see everything at once but bit by bit we do. If we do the small things well that He gives us to do then He will give us bigger and better things to do with Him. We are working towards the Kingdom of Heaven, therefore, things should only get better for us because we know that no matter what we are going through God is right beside us and the bigger picture is Heaven at the end.
These are the chapters that Jesus uses to teach so they are stories and illustrations. Most of us, if we grew up in a Christian home, have heard these stories over and over and we know what they mean but I was studying them this week and got a new point of view on them. These are the stories of the farmer scattering the seeds, illustration of the growing seed, and the illustration of the mustard seed. I found these stories to be interesting as I thought about the fields which the seeds were in and how they grew. To me, the 3 different seeds that the farmer planted, means that we have to have good grounds with the people we are trying to reach or nothing will happen.
When I was really reading these stories a food plot came to mind along with all the other kinds of fields that a farmer can plant. Everything starts small like a seed but then it grows. It can grow into a food plot and then a great big field. That seed that you or the Lord started might start out small but it will turn into something big for Him if people take care of it. Give it encouragement and the things it needs. In a food plot you could be limited to how many seeds you can plant or people you can reach. You are trying to get people in that food plot so you can teach them about God's Words and then you can release them out into the world. I'm thinking along the lines of food plots for deer. Not quite the same but do you see the comparison I'm trying to make.
The illustration of the mustard see does just this. Whatever you start out doing don't give up because it can become big. It takes that one mustard seed in a little food plot to make a big field. In time, though, it will keep growing wiser and older causing it to move on to different things and places but yet it still has that power.
The Kingdom of Heaven is like that as well as the plans God has for our lives. We might not see everything at once but bit by bit we do. If we do the small things well that He gives us to do then He will give us bigger and better things to do with Him. We are working towards the Kingdom of Heaven, therefore, things should only get better for us because we know that no matter what we are going through God is right beside us and the bigger picture is Heaven at the end.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
God, I'm Letting You Handle This One
God, I'm letting you handle this one
On your own. I tries to handle the
Last one on my own and you saw
How that turned out. It turned out
A mess and I never could get it
Back together.
God, I'm letting you handle this one.
I really care about this one. He
Deserves my respect because he
Has given some to me. I don't want
To do anything dumb or break his
Heart in anyway. He is a special
One to me.
God, I'm letting you handle this one.
You really know how I feel about
Him. I really think he is the one
Because he is all I ever wanted and
He was right there for me when I
Needed him to be.
God, I'm letting you handle this one.
You are better at things like this then
I am. You have my future planned out
For me and it may involve him or may
Not. You know for sure so that is why
I'm letting you handle this.
God, I'm letting you handle this one.
I do not want to lose him like I did
The last one.I actually care about him
More and he seems like the guy I've
Always wanted.
God, I'm letting you hand this one.
Do whatever you feel is right for me
And him. If it is not loving him at least
Please make him a close guyfriend to
Me because I never really had one of
Those and he seems like the perfect
Guy.
Written In: 2007
Note: Notice this poem was written in 2007 so I might feel like this or I might not. A lot of things have changed since then. It is just one of my old poems that I haven't posted yet and thought it was good enough to post.
On your own. I tries to handle the
Last one on my own and you saw
How that turned out. It turned out
A mess and I never could get it
Back together.
God, I'm letting you handle this one.
I really care about this one. He
Deserves my respect because he
Has given some to me. I don't want
To do anything dumb or break his
Heart in anyway. He is a special
One to me.
God, I'm letting you handle this one.
You really know how I feel about
Him. I really think he is the one
Because he is all I ever wanted and
He was right there for me when I
Needed him to be.
God, I'm letting you handle this one.
You are better at things like this then
I am. You have my future planned out
For me and it may involve him or may
Not. You know for sure so that is why
I'm letting you handle this.
God, I'm letting you handle this one.
I do not want to lose him like I did
The last one.I actually care about him
More and he seems like the guy I've
Always wanted.
God, I'm letting you hand this one.
Do whatever you feel is right for me
And him. If it is not loving him at least
Please make him a close guyfriend to
Me because I never really had one of
Those and he seems like the perfect
Guy.
Written In: 2007
Note: Notice this poem was written in 2007 so I might feel like this or I might not. A lot of things have changed since then. It is just one of my old poems that I haven't posted yet and thought it was good enough to post.
Friday, January 17, 2014
My Little Farm Boy
I've been thinking a lot lately about the country and the farm. Everything I do or think I have thought about in a country way whether it is Bible verses or children. The Bible verses will come later. The next entery or the one after next. Anyways, I've gotten really close to this little boy at my work and he loves the farm. His grandparents sent him two stuffed cows and all he talks about is the farm with me. He has cows, chickens, one rooster, and he said something about pigs too. When he talks about the farm or his grandpa's farm, he has the biggest smile on his face. When he got the two stuffed cows, he smiled so big. It was so neat to see.
It is so strange how I can relate to children like that the best. I know and believe that the farm and country is great for the children espically in hard situations. Maybe it is big I started out the 1st four years of my life on one. He said, last night, that he wanted "his Tiffney" to give him his bath. It is like a week or two before the children leave I get so hooked on them. It is kind of like God saying make a different in this life before he lives and do it in a week or fewer days and then the feelings come out every night when I get home. It is also hard too because it is when they start to act back up because they know they are leaving soon. It's like that is when they need a compassionate person the most. I don't teach, I care.
For the past week it has been hard on me and on him. On him, because he is leaving soon. On me because he keeps crying before bedtime, which he didn't use to do. He wants me to do everything with him like bath and bedtime. Even though, I like it. It is hard when you are the only one they see every day at work. He tells me everything how he will be going to a foster home, how he misses home and wants to go home. He cries at night "I want my grandma and grandpa", "I want to go home" and "I don't like it here." He told me last night that he didn't want me in the bedroom so I walked out because it wasn't helping him get to sleep anyways with me in there and he yelled, "Miss Tiffney". It's sad to see these children that confused.
Weds. night, I did rock him to sleep and that is when he told me stories about the farm and the kind of animals he had on it. He even told me about the scary things in his room at home like ghosts and gorillas. I recited "The Lion King" to him because he wanted me to tell a story and he picked that one. That was the same night that he was throwing a huge fit in bed and I finilly bent beside his bed and started to talk to him and ask him what was wrong and why he was upset/sad? He told me and then I rocked him.
I was so proud of him though yesterday. I had a little teacher's moment even though I didn't teach him how to do it. I cried for real after he did this. He made the first letter of his name by himself and he kept rewriting it because he was so happy that he could do it. When he wrote it the first time, there was the biggest smile ever on his face. One I haven't seen stay on his face for a long time and he acted better for a little bit. He kept saying, "My name, my name" even though it was only the first letter. The first letter is an "E". He did something by himself and he was proud of it. This is the same boy that tells me that he loves me every night or almost every night if I will do things right in his book.
It is the little moments like these that I will remember and that I learn so many things from. I felt bad because I couldn't rock him last night because he wasn't behaving or being quite when I was in there and then he yelled my name while the whole wing was asleep. I feel bad for the other children and teachers because he wants me to do everything. I shouldn't feel bad, though, that shows me that he knows he can trust me and that he loves me even without the words. I try to remember that throughout the day with him. I also try to be fair with the other children too. It's hard to do sometimes though.
It is so strange how I can relate to children like that the best. I know and believe that the farm and country is great for the children espically in hard situations. Maybe it is big I started out the 1st four years of my life on one. He said, last night, that he wanted "his Tiffney" to give him his bath. It is like a week or two before the children leave I get so hooked on them. It is kind of like God saying make a different in this life before he lives and do it in a week or fewer days and then the feelings come out every night when I get home. It is also hard too because it is when they start to act back up because they know they are leaving soon. It's like that is when they need a compassionate person the most. I don't teach, I care.
For the past week it has been hard on me and on him. On him, because he is leaving soon. On me because he keeps crying before bedtime, which he didn't use to do. He wants me to do everything with him like bath and bedtime. Even though, I like it. It is hard when you are the only one they see every day at work. He tells me everything how he will be going to a foster home, how he misses home and wants to go home. He cries at night "I want my grandma and grandpa", "I want to go home" and "I don't like it here." He told me last night that he didn't want me in the bedroom so I walked out because it wasn't helping him get to sleep anyways with me in there and he yelled, "Miss Tiffney". It's sad to see these children that confused.
Weds. night, I did rock him to sleep and that is when he told me stories about the farm and the kind of animals he had on it. He even told me about the scary things in his room at home like ghosts and gorillas. I recited "The Lion King" to him because he wanted me to tell a story and he picked that one. That was the same night that he was throwing a huge fit in bed and I finilly bent beside his bed and started to talk to him and ask him what was wrong and why he was upset/sad? He told me and then I rocked him.
I was so proud of him though yesterday. I had a little teacher's moment even though I didn't teach him how to do it. I cried for real after he did this. He made the first letter of his name by himself and he kept rewriting it because he was so happy that he could do it. When he wrote it the first time, there was the biggest smile ever on his face. One I haven't seen stay on his face for a long time and he acted better for a little bit. He kept saying, "My name, my name" even though it was only the first letter. The first letter is an "E". He did something by himself and he was proud of it. This is the same boy that tells me that he loves me every night or almost every night if I will do things right in his book.
It is the little moments like these that I will remember and that I learn so many things from. I felt bad because I couldn't rock him last night because he wasn't behaving or being quite when I was in there and then he yelled my name while the whole wing was asleep. I feel bad for the other children and teachers because he wants me to do everything. I shouldn't feel bad, though, that shows me that he knows he can trust me and that he loves me even without the words. I try to remember that throughout the day with him. I also try to be fair with the other children too. It's hard to do sometimes though.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Stars in the Sky Farm
Yesterday at work really touched me like I needed it too along with the beautiful weather and the outside time that we got to have after 4 days of not having it. It was also so strange too because it seemed like every time I talked to a child it was about a farm or a country but I got to hear one of the stories of my kiddos that left my job and went to another home. The child's parents called and told us that she was thankful for what we did with her child and he seemed really happy where he was.
It gives me hope and purpose every so often when I hear good stories about "my" children being happy and well cared for. This little boy was living on a farm and was too busy to talk to his parents when they called because he was chasing geese. He has a little brother. He has started Kindergarden. It is just a blessing when we get to hear stories like that and it is nice for the parents to call us back and see the difference in their child. To me, that means they are either really paying attention to them or really miss them and want them back.
Another story is that I was taking one of my little girls to the drs. and we were talking in the car about cows and horses because we saw some cows on the way to the drs. I asked her what her favorite animal was and she said "horses" and I was like "did you have horses?" She told me, "No, but my grandma did. She had one horse and it was brown. It would follow us around everywhere we went." When a child can remember something like that, it gives me hope too. There is no better thing to remember then the life on the farm. I know that from personal experience.
These stories give me hope for my future in a way. I have had thoughts about if I ever wanted to do a children's home that I wanted it on a farm or ranch and this just proves I do more. I'm one of those strange outdoorsy people that loves the outdoors and think there is no better way to teach a child then to let them play in the outdoors and be free out there. Not only are they free on a farm/ranch but they learn how to work hard and what life is really about. To me, there is no better place to learn the important lessons of life.
It is funny that I am talking to and hearing these stories now about farms because I have a friend that I have been talking to about actually doing or wanting to do a children's ranch like she does. I went once in college to this ranch and didn't think much about it until now and now I regret not going more with my friends because they went all the time. This friend is starting up her program in other states too and I think it would be neat if I could start one here in AR but it will take a lot of work and I need a house of my own that I own first. I think this is my new dream either to do it hear in NWA or SW MO. We'll see where I end up and am needed the most.
It gives me hope and purpose every so often when I hear good stories about "my" children being happy and well cared for. This little boy was living on a farm and was too busy to talk to his parents when they called because he was chasing geese. He has a little brother. He has started Kindergarden. It is just a blessing when we get to hear stories like that and it is nice for the parents to call us back and see the difference in their child. To me, that means they are either really paying attention to them or really miss them and want them back.
Another story is that I was taking one of my little girls to the drs. and we were talking in the car about cows and horses because we saw some cows on the way to the drs. I asked her what her favorite animal was and she said "horses" and I was like "did you have horses?" She told me, "No, but my grandma did. She had one horse and it was brown. It would follow us around everywhere we went." When a child can remember something like that, it gives me hope too. There is no better thing to remember then the life on the farm. I know that from personal experience.
These stories give me hope for my future in a way. I have had thoughts about if I ever wanted to do a children's home that I wanted it on a farm or ranch and this just proves I do more. I'm one of those strange outdoorsy people that loves the outdoors and think there is no better way to teach a child then to let them play in the outdoors and be free out there. Not only are they free on a farm/ranch but they learn how to work hard and what life is really about. To me, there is no better place to learn the important lessons of life.
It is funny that I am talking to and hearing these stories now about farms because I have a friend that I have been talking to about actually doing or wanting to do a children's ranch like she does. I went once in college to this ranch and didn't think much about it until now and now I regret not going more with my friends because they went all the time. This friend is starting up her program in other states too and I think it would be neat if I could start one here in AR but it will take a lot of work and I need a house of my own that I own first. I think this is my new dream either to do it hear in NWA or SW MO. We'll see where I end up and am needed the most.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Upside Down Girl
Upside Down Girl
I’m an upside down girl.
Some of you might be asking,
“What is that?” I’ll tell you what
That is.
An upside down girl is a girl focused
On God. She doesn’t care about this
World like most people do. Her care
For it is more Real and Genuine.
An upside down girl doesn’t care
Of her clothes are not in style or
If she is on the right diet. It’s the
Inside that counts.
An upside down girl will argue
To try and get her point across.
Yet she will listen to others and
Take in what they have to say. She
Will try and stop what’s ahead of
Her because she is scared of it
But she won’t be able to because
God is working it.
An upside down girl loves God with
All of her heart. She will do whatever
It takes to live for Him. She will listen
To Him. She might be part of something
Big He has planned but she won’t know
Until she takes her eyes off of this world
And put them on Him. She hangs out with
The orphans, homeless, and needy. Showing
Them God’s Love for all kind of people and
That they are never alone.
An upside down girl is close to God. She
Can hear Him and feel His every tug at
Her heart. She can also see Him at work
In her life. She
should be able to Trust
Him with her life too and have full
Dependence on Him for everything she
Does or is doing.
But a girl of God.
Written On: Jan. 12th, 2014
References to the book of Mark and the people named John the
Baptist, Peter, and Paul.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Girl in the Woods-Part 2
This is part 2 and the end of the story I started at the start of this past week. The first part is called "Girl in the Woods-Part 1".
All this time while the fight for who she truly was, woods or city girl, was going on there was a deer standing in the woods behind her doing its own thing while waiting for her to come back to the woods where she belonged. After talking to the rabbit, she knew she needed to go back to the woods where she belonged and make boundaries to stay there. While she was making the boundaries, her deer was there to talk to, encourage, and to throw ideas off of. Along with the 100 stars in the sky that faithful night and every other night after that. While all of this was going on the girl would add one star a night to the sky wherever she was.
The End for now because that is all I have written on paper. Sorry this entery is so short. I thought it would be longer then this but I have another story idea that is coming hopefully sometime this week. I got the idea last night from church. It will be called "Upside Girl" so keep watching for it. Thanks. Hope this doesn't confuse people too much.
All this time while the fight for who she truly was, woods or city girl, was going on there was a deer standing in the woods behind her doing its own thing while waiting for her to come back to the woods where she belonged. After talking to the rabbit, she knew she needed to go back to the woods where she belonged and make boundaries to stay there. While she was making the boundaries, her deer was there to talk to, encourage, and to throw ideas off of. Along with the 100 stars in the sky that faithful night and every other night after that. While all of this was going on the girl would add one star a night to the sky wherever she was.
The End for now because that is all I have written on paper. Sorry this entery is so short. I thought it would be longer then this but I have another story idea that is coming hopefully sometime this week. I got the idea last night from church. It will be called "Upside Girl" so keep watching for it. Thanks. Hope this doesn't confuse people too much.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
The Worst Question Ever
I should have never taken that snow day off on Monday. I'm thinking way too much now and that is scary. A lot is going on in my life and I won't put it all on here because I'm really at the point where I'm asking myself along with everyone else asking me "What are you planning to do with you future after this?" That is probably the worst question to ask me even is even worse then "Why are you still single?". That won't hit me for another 3 or 4 years. Why would the career question hit me before the single question?
I'm a person who likes to think she has everything under control and everything is going as to plan but it isn't right now. I want to see it in full picture but I can't right now. My life, right now, feels like it is out of control because I'm doing nothing to make anything happen. I feel like I'm just sitting and waiting which is wrong because I know I'm making an impact at work but personal life it's not me working. It is all God! I see little things happening that I remember saying to myself a few months or even years past and I'm asking God, "Is this really part of Your Plan?", "Was I right for once in my life?", and "Was that sign a confirmation from You are something that just happen and I want to think I thought of it?"
The question: "What do you want to do after 3 years?" came to me when I was talking with a friend of mine. I told her I would stay where I was for at least 3 more years and then we'll see where I end up. After I got home that night, I felt like that was the question everyone has been asking me lately. Yet, I feel like I can't tell them anything because I'm not for sure. I'm waiting on the next step or lead. If I do tell them they won't understand because what I'm thinking now started in college and I would have to go through everything to get them caught up to today which isn't a bad thing but it just seems like we don't have time for that in today's world or at least to me it seems like that.
Things have been happening really fast on one side of the book and I have no idea what to do. It is scary. Should I go with it or should I live it all behind? If I go with it, how? Should I take that risk and let go of everything and try to build up something from the start? These are the questions I'm asking myself thanks to the snow day. Hopefully, though, I will get answers soon. My church is putting on a Bible Study starting this week that is about life boundaries so I'm going to that one to get some accountablity and deeper understanding of the book we are doing and see if the book can help me more then if I was doing it by myself. I know I need to let God control my life and when He does He will do amazing things and won't ever let me down. I've learned that through a friend because the question is: How do you get over the part that you have to risk everything and maybe everybody because they might not agree with what you are doing?
I would be the 1st in my family to start something like a children's home, foster home, or even some other kind of business but again I would have to drop everything and focus on just that and that is what has never been done in my family.
I'm a person who likes to think she has everything under control and everything is going as to plan but it isn't right now. I want to see it in full picture but I can't right now. My life, right now, feels like it is out of control because I'm doing nothing to make anything happen. I feel like I'm just sitting and waiting which is wrong because I know I'm making an impact at work but personal life it's not me working. It is all God! I see little things happening that I remember saying to myself a few months or even years past and I'm asking God, "Is this really part of Your Plan?", "Was I right for once in my life?", and "Was that sign a confirmation from You are something that just happen and I want to think I thought of it?"
The question: "What do you want to do after 3 years?" came to me when I was talking with a friend of mine. I told her I would stay where I was for at least 3 more years and then we'll see where I end up. After I got home that night, I felt like that was the question everyone has been asking me lately. Yet, I feel like I can't tell them anything because I'm not for sure. I'm waiting on the next step or lead. If I do tell them they won't understand because what I'm thinking now started in college and I would have to go through everything to get them caught up to today which isn't a bad thing but it just seems like we don't have time for that in today's world or at least to me it seems like that.
Things have been happening really fast on one side of the book and I have no idea what to do. It is scary. Should I go with it or should I live it all behind? If I go with it, how? Should I take that risk and let go of everything and try to build up something from the start? These are the questions I'm asking myself thanks to the snow day. Hopefully, though, I will get answers soon. My church is putting on a Bible Study starting this week that is about life boundaries so I'm going to that one to get some accountablity and deeper understanding of the book we are doing and see if the book can help me more then if I was doing it by myself. I know I need to let God control my life and when He does He will do amazing things and won't ever let me down. I've learned that through a friend because the question is: How do you get over the part that you have to risk everything and maybe everybody because they might not agree with what you are doing?
I would be the 1st in my family to start something like a children's home, foster home, or even some other kind of business but again I would have to drop everything and focus on just that and that is what has never been done in my family.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Never Stop Dreaming for Christ
I've been writing a lot lately because of this winter weather I've stayed home and have to get up early and I'm done with everything early. This morning I was saying my prayers and praying for some people when I had a thought come though my mind because I see it in their lives as they get bigger with their dreams and goals. Ever heard the saying. "When you reach your dream, make a new one."? Well, that is what I see my friend doing and somehow I want to do that too. If you do that your life is never dull or boring. It might not be perfect but that is not important.
I've seen my friend start out small and grow bigger every year with new things and new ways of doing things. My friend would keep adding things just to keep it new and fresh. It was still the same passion and the same thing but only more was added to it because it started slowly to see where and how it would go with God every step of the way. It is kind of like my friend was listening to God and when God told my friend to take that step, the step would be taken in faith and trust. It's like every time an old dream came true then my friend would make a new dream.
The 1st dream was to make a show that reaches people in everyway and at least in Northwest Arkansas. Well, my friend did that and now the dream is to impact the world with the show and I believe it can be done with God helping of course. The very 1st dream was just to have people like it on YouTube and Facebook. That's where it all started and then sponsors came along and my friend went to different shows and conventions to get more people involved in the show and what was going on. I talk a lot about my friend on here and that might make my friend uncomfortable because my friend doesn't want to admit to any of this. Pretty humble person if you ask me about all of this.
Thinking about all of this and my life though, I'm thinking I'm just starting at my dream and it can only get bigger from here. A year ago I started it when I took this job that I'm doing now and it is my passion the more I think about it and love it. I can't even be gone a day without going back and having the children love on me and telling me things. It also feels like God just pours things on me too like the childrens' problems and teaches me new things some of the time. I love it though and it's what I want to do. I've reach one of my dreams and that is working with my passions. Now, my thoughts and dreams are how can I use my passion to make a different? I know I am know where I'm at but I want something new and on my own like fostering or my own children's home somewhere whether in a state or another country or do I just want a different spot at the place where I am now. I need to make my dream bigger now and try and reach for that one.
I might be moving to a bigger apartment or house this summer so that is one of my dream come true and then what? It is just strange how things should start out small and then when you learn more about yourself and what you can do and learn more things, it is then you can grow and do bigger things. I might be working at this job for some time but that is great because I love it and right now I can't think of a better place and when God is ready for me to move on He will let me know and give me the opportunities and things in my path like He did this one but hopefully not as hard. Kind of strange because I have given myself 5 years after college to find out and I'm in my 3rd year but you never know what can happen with God for you. I guess my lesson in this entery is NEVER STOP DREAMING because it can always be bigger and better FOR CHRIST.
I've seen my friend start out small and grow bigger every year with new things and new ways of doing things. My friend would keep adding things just to keep it new and fresh. It was still the same passion and the same thing but only more was added to it because it started slowly to see where and how it would go with God every step of the way. It is kind of like my friend was listening to God and when God told my friend to take that step, the step would be taken in faith and trust. It's like every time an old dream came true then my friend would make a new dream.
The 1st dream was to make a show that reaches people in everyway and at least in Northwest Arkansas. Well, my friend did that and now the dream is to impact the world with the show and I believe it can be done with God helping of course. The very 1st dream was just to have people like it on YouTube and Facebook. That's where it all started and then sponsors came along and my friend went to different shows and conventions to get more people involved in the show and what was going on. I talk a lot about my friend on here and that might make my friend uncomfortable because my friend doesn't want to admit to any of this. Pretty humble person if you ask me about all of this.
Thinking about all of this and my life though, I'm thinking I'm just starting at my dream and it can only get bigger from here. A year ago I started it when I took this job that I'm doing now and it is my passion the more I think about it and love it. I can't even be gone a day without going back and having the children love on me and telling me things. It also feels like God just pours things on me too like the childrens' problems and teaches me new things some of the time. I love it though and it's what I want to do. I've reach one of my dreams and that is working with my passions. Now, my thoughts and dreams are how can I use my passion to make a different? I know I am know where I'm at but I want something new and on my own like fostering or my own children's home somewhere whether in a state or another country or do I just want a different spot at the place where I am now. I need to make my dream bigger now and try and reach for that one.
I might be moving to a bigger apartment or house this summer so that is one of my dream come true and then what? It is just strange how things should start out small and then when you learn more about yourself and what you can do and learn more things, it is then you can grow and do bigger things. I might be working at this job for some time but that is great because I love it and right now I can't think of a better place and when God is ready for me to move on He will let me know and give me the opportunities and things in my path like He did this one but hopefully not as hard. Kind of strange because I have given myself 5 years after college to find out and I'm in my 3rd year but you never know what can happen with God for you. I guess my lesson in this entery is NEVER STOP DREAMING because it can always be bigger and better FOR CHRIST.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Girl in the Woods-Part 1
Once upon a time there was this girl that moved in the woods all by herself with her dreams and goals. Dreams of being a preschool teacher and teaching at one of the biggest preschool for 5 years and being married by the age of 25. Goals that were unbelievable. She thought, "I won't be in these woods for long so I can play and mess things up." She told herself before she moved into the woods, "If I stay here for 5 years, then that is a sign that I'm pretty much going to stay there for good or at least for a little while more. " She lived there, for the first 2 years without any life boundaries and then something happened in the 3rd year that hit her and made her realize something.
She needs to make life boundaries now before she moves on or her life will be out of control if it isn't already and go nowhere. She thought all about it has she looked back at the past years in the woods. When she 1st moved to the woods she did it because she had friends in the woods that she truly cared about. She was doing okay by trying to find places to fit in by being someone she wasn't, which was a city girl. City girl and the woods do not go together.
An angel suggested to her, "Maybe you need to get out more instead of trying to stay in the woods." The girl might have took that advice too far because she went out into the city and tried that life. She would stay up late at night, go to parties, go to other countries (which was interesting and fun), and getting to know more people but that just didn't work for her. It felt like she had to be someone else not her true woody self but put on this city look.
It ended up being so bad because a tiger came out of nowhere and tried to hurt her in every way. She would get use to the tiger that she would cry when she wouldn't see the tiger. She would feel lost when she didn't see the tiger. She would try and be with the tiger every chance she got. Even though, the tiger would not want to talk or see her she would cross the line to try to talk the tiger and that just made the tiger madder. The tiger would just walk away and never come back. The tiger tried to talk to her but she just wouldn't listen or believe what the tiger was saying. That is why the tiger walked away and gave her no attention. Yet, there was tiger's friend, Rabbit, who would too walk away but Rabbit came back when she was ready to talk and listen.
More to come later.
She needs to make life boundaries now before she moves on or her life will be out of control if it isn't already and go nowhere. She thought all about it has she looked back at the past years in the woods. When she 1st moved to the woods she did it because she had friends in the woods that she truly cared about. She was doing okay by trying to find places to fit in by being someone she wasn't, which was a city girl. City girl and the woods do not go together.
An angel suggested to her, "Maybe you need to get out more instead of trying to stay in the woods." The girl might have took that advice too far because she went out into the city and tried that life. She would stay up late at night, go to parties, go to other countries (which was interesting and fun), and getting to know more people but that just didn't work for her. It felt like she had to be someone else not her true woody self but put on this city look.
It ended up being so bad because a tiger came out of nowhere and tried to hurt her in every way. She would get use to the tiger that she would cry when she wouldn't see the tiger. She would feel lost when she didn't see the tiger. She would try and be with the tiger every chance she got. Even though, the tiger would not want to talk or see her she would cross the line to try to talk the tiger and that just made the tiger madder. The tiger would just walk away and never come back. The tiger tried to talk to her but she just wouldn't listen or believe what the tiger was saying. That is why the tiger walked away and gave her no attention. Yet, there was tiger's friend, Rabbit, who would too walk away but Rabbit came back when she was ready to talk and listen.
More to come later.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Fill My Cup
This is the 100th entery on this blog and it came just in time for me to write about the 100 children I have touched within a year at work. The title of this entery is "Fill My Cup" because that is what I have been feeling like the Lord has been doing in my life this past year. He is filling up my cup more then I can handle but I love a challenge like that.
I have paper stars on my wall with each of the childrens' names on a star after they leave and I've only reached a 100 children in a year. These are abused and negetled children here in the states that I'm working with. God "fills my cup" everytime I get a new group of children because I have to relearn everything and see what works for this group. Sometimes there are some kids that are more then I can handle because it could be mostly a group of 3 year olds but then it could mostly be a group of 4 and 5 year olds which is easy. Maybe a cup with the words "Fill My Cup" should be this next years wall display and see if I reach 100 kids again by next year.
In Psalm 23, it says, "My cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." If God sends this many children to me and makes my cup overflow then surely He will give me enough goodness and love to use of these children. Making the difference that I am, I hope and pray that those children will dwell in the House of the Lord forever with me. That is what gives me the energy some days, I won't lie.
It's not a easy job espically when you have to firgure out 100 children, but it is worth it in the end. To make different people and jobs see this in their jobs, mine isn't the only one that you can do it in. I have a friend that I got this idea from because of what my friend is doing right now. My friend is traveling to shows to tell people about the show he puts on and trying to get more sponsors to sponsor his show. God could "fill up his cup" by giving him more sponsors then he can handle and he wants that. His show is all about God and hunting. He goes to these shows not only to get sponsors and show people but with the hope to impact those people in some way. There are 4 guys and they all do it for the same reason because they are passionate about it. Once you are passionate about something, don't you want God to fill your cup up with that passion?
I have paper stars on my wall with each of the childrens' names on a star after they leave and I've only reached a 100 children in a year. These are abused and negetled children here in the states that I'm working with. God "fills my cup" everytime I get a new group of children because I have to relearn everything and see what works for this group. Sometimes there are some kids that are more then I can handle because it could be mostly a group of 3 year olds but then it could mostly be a group of 4 and 5 year olds which is easy. Maybe a cup with the words "Fill My Cup" should be this next years wall display and see if I reach 100 kids again by next year.
In Psalm 23, it says, "My cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." If God sends this many children to me and makes my cup overflow then surely He will give me enough goodness and love to use of these children. Making the difference that I am, I hope and pray that those children will dwell in the House of the Lord forever with me. That is what gives me the energy some days, I won't lie.
It's not a easy job espically when you have to firgure out 100 children, but it is worth it in the end. To make different people and jobs see this in their jobs, mine isn't the only one that you can do it in. I have a friend that I got this idea from because of what my friend is doing right now. My friend is traveling to shows to tell people about the show he puts on and trying to get more sponsors to sponsor his show. God could "fill up his cup" by giving him more sponsors then he can handle and he wants that. His show is all about God and hunting. He goes to these shows not only to get sponsors and show people but with the hope to impact those people in some way. There are 4 guys and they all do it for the same reason because they are passionate about it. Once you are passionate about something, don't you want God to fill your cup up with that passion?
Saturday, January 4, 2014
EveryTHING is Meaningless
I'm loving the book of Ecclesiastes right now more then ever and that I have to say is my favorite book because of chapter 3 and it was my Grandma's favorite book and those verses in chapter 3 was her favorite verses. I have looked a lot at this book over and over just because it fits my life right now and it keeps fitting. I first looked at it to remember my grandma by but then I started seeing more of those verses in my life and how I wanted to live. I got to looking at my grandma's life and that is how I want to live too so I put one and one together and firgured if I live by these verses and remember and look back at them every so often that they will stick with my but most importantly my grandma will stick with me.
The part of this book that is getting to me now in this new year is that "Everything is meaningless". I know that sounds like a negtive way to look at things in life but when you really look at it the way the book describes it, to me, it is all that I can ask for right now in life. This past year has been hard in some ways but great in others. I got a new job that I love and I have been focused on that but that is my passion. I look back at last year and I can't complain at all about anything because it was one of the best years I've had in a long time. Every family member was well, loved my job, and just enjoyed life. I'm not saying there wasn't hard times at all because there was with friends and even at my job because it isn't an easy one.
The reason the saying "Everything is meaningless" points out to me this year is because everything that matter or happened last year to me has more meaning in my life then anything can ever have. When I say "thing" I mean material things in this entery so everyTHING is meaningless, every material thing was to me this past year. The blessings come from people and God. Like I said everyone was well that I knew. I got a job that I love and am learning a lot from and my parents moved closer to me during last summer. Even though, I had a hard time being okay with certain things I've held on to old friends. I got to see a friend's dream come true and get big only in 3 months and still growing. I'm still talking to that friend off and on.
I don't know a better job that could show you the true meaning of "EveryTHING is meaningless" then I have. Once you work and see the children that I work with everyday and the things they have to go through those material things will mean, sorry for my French, crap to you. Nothing means anything more then to have those family and friends around you everyday in every way. The people you care about most and that care about you. You see the children asking to go home or to talk to their parents or see their faces at their 1st birthday party and you would just want to cry. I don't think my family or friends have meant so much more to me then they do after this job and even though I don't hang out as often as I should with some of them I still care about them and if they are a true friend they know and understand that.
It will be a year next month for me working at this job and in a year I have put 100 new stars in the sky and am trusting God with each of them. Just think would everyTHING be meaningless to you if you could change a 100 kids lives in a year every year? Would you see the important things after a year of changing lives? I need to remind myself on the hard days that I am impacting the world 100 kids at a time. It might be in a different way then my friends or other people but in a way I'm impacting the world and hopefully changing lives and that is what I want to do with my life. I've grown more this past year then I feel like I have any other year thanks to my job and my friends even if they were tough on me. Sometimes a hard headed, country girl needs the truth straight forwards and some were willing to give that to me. I'm lovin' NWA. Hard to believe I'm saying that and this but I might be here for awhile longer. I can't see me moving out of a place that has helped me grow so much over the past 3 years and I feel like God still has more for me here. :)
The part of this book that is getting to me now in this new year is that "Everything is meaningless". I know that sounds like a negtive way to look at things in life but when you really look at it the way the book describes it, to me, it is all that I can ask for right now in life. This past year has been hard in some ways but great in others. I got a new job that I love and I have been focused on that but that is my passion. I look back at last year and I can't complain at all about anything because it was one of the best years I've had in a long time. Every family member was well, loved my job, and just enjoyed life. I'm not saying there wasn't hard times at all because there was with friends and even at my job because it isn't an easy one.
The reason the saying "Everything is meaningless" points out to me this year is because everything that matter or happened last year to me has more meaning in my life then anything can ever have. When I say "thing" I mean material things in this entery so everyTHING is meaningless, every material thing was to me this past year. The blessings come from people and God. Like I said everyone was well that I knew. I got a job that I love and am learning a lot from and my parents moved closer to me during last summer. Even though, I had a hard time being okay with certain things I've held on to old friends. I got to see a friend's dream come true and get big only in 3 months and still growing. I'm still talking to that friend off and on.
I don't know a better job that could show you the true meaning of "EveryTHING is meaningless" then I have. Once you work and see the children that I work with everyday and the things they have to go through those material things will mean, sorry for my French, crap to you. Nothing means anything more then to have those family and friends around you everyday in every way. The people you care about most and that care about you. You see the children asking to go home or to talk to their parents or see their faces at their 1st birthday party and you would just want to cry. I don't think my family or friends have meant so much more to me then they do after this job and even though I don't hang out as often as I should with some of them I still care about them and if they are a true friend they know and understand that.
It will be a year next month for me working at this job and in a year I have put 100 new stars in the sky and am trusting God with each of them. Just think would everyTHING be meaningless to you if you could change a 100 kids lives in a year every year? Would you see the important things after a year of changing lives? I need to remind myself on the hard days that I am impacting the world 100 kids at a time. It might be in a different way then my friends or other people but in a way I'm impacting the world and hopefully changing lives and that is what I want to do with my life. I've grown more this past year then I feel like I have any other year thanks to my job and my friends even if they were tough on me. Sometimes a hard headed, country girl needs the truth straight forwards and some were willing to give that to me. I'm lovin' NWA. Hard to believe I'm saying that and this but I might be here for awhile longer. I can't see me moving out of a place that has helped me grow so much over the past 3 years and I feel like God still has more for me here. :)
Friday, January 3, 2014
NEW ERA IN HUNTING SHOWS!
I just wanted to introduce people to a hunting show that one of my guyfriends put on himself. This past fall was the first season for TV on the HuntChannel but it is his third year doing the shows. The shows are called "The Huntin' Ground". He has been putting them on youtube and his own website for that long. The show is all about hunting, youth, family, traditions, and most importantly God. He does it along with 4 other guys and they all do a great job and has hunting as their passion. I know the host from college and seen this dream of his, if not the beginning, close to the beginning getting started. The website to see the shows is: www.thg-tv.com. His show is on tv in the Fall but he has clips of them on the website. He even does some plot and deer management so he has some clips of those throughout the year too. He has a Facebook Page too. It is called "The Huntin' Grounds". Please go like his page and watch the videos on youtube or their website. Thanks.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
New Title Means New Life
Yesterday's post didn't make much sense and I'm thinking about deleting it but as I was rocking my little boys to bed last night I was thinking about somethings a friend of my said years ago, ok well maybe not years ago, but now it would be 4 years ago. I changed the name of my blog because things in my life are changing in every which way and the name descibes it perfectly whether I'm by myself or at my job. I see things more clearly now thanks to my job.
The saying that the title is part of is this one: "Life is not always perfect but who would want that. If that was the case, then we would have boring lives." At first when you read it, you might think God never gives us a boring life. That is true. God works with us and we are messed up. We are no way, sorry to say it perfect people. We have sinned and will keep sinning. We plan out this what we think is our perfect life and then God comes in and turns the whole thing around. We wonder why He did that and even ask Him sometimes but it is for the better or at least it has been for me. I'm really seeing the part "Life is not always perfect" at my job. All of us have perfect lives compare to the children I work with but ours might not be perfect. We are live different lives so why compare ourselves to another. God has a different story for each of us and we need to live that story.
Another saying that I'm been thinking about and the same friend wrote me is "God is always changing and growing us, and it is never good to be comfortable, because if we are we aren't open to the things God could be making in us." I have almost spent a year at my job and I still don't feel comfortable in it because things keep changing like new workers, new children every 3 months, and so on. People have their different ideas that I can learn from. I'm not comfortable but yet I'm learning things at the same time. God is teaching me things about myself and the children and the children are teaching me things about them and me plus workers are teaching me different things about the children and maybe something I can use in the future.
It is strange how my blog is turning out to be about how Life is not always perfect. I mean I have stories about the children on here and sometimes they aren't perfect stories and mine certainly are not either. Where would the adventure be if we all did live perfect lives and not let God have control. My mottos for this year and I think it would be neat for a family/ my future family if it is in the future is: "Life is not always perfect but why would we want it that way. If that was the case, then we would all have boring lives" and God is always changing and growing us, and it is never good to be comfortable, because if we are comfortable we aren't open to what God could be making in us".
Those two sayings wraps up one main thing we need do to for God. TRUST HIM and let Him lead our life and things will turn out perfect. Maybe not to our liking at all or right away but in His Timing and Love.
The saying that the title is part of is this one: "Life is not always perfect but who would want that. If that was the case, then we would have boring lives." At first when you read it, you might think God never gives us a boring life. That is true. God works with us and we are messed up. We are no way, sorry to say it perfect people. We have sinned and will keep sinning. We plan out this what we think is our perfect life and then God comes in and turns the whole thing around. We wonder why He did that and even ask Him sometimes but it is for the better or at least it has been for me. I'm really seeing the part "Life is not always perfect" at my job. All of us have perfect lives compare to the children I work with but ours might not be perfect. We are live different lives so why compare ourselves to another. God has a different story for each of us and we need to live that story.
Another saying that I'm been thinking about and the same friend wrote me is "God is always changing and growing us, and it is never good to be comfortable, because if we are we aren't open to the things God could be making in us." I have almost spent a year at my job and I still don't feel comfortable in it because things keep changing like new workers, new children every 3 months, and so on. People have their different ideas that I can learn from. I'm not comfortable but yet I'm learning things at the same time. God is teaching me things about myself and the children and the children are teaching me things about them and me plus workers are teaching me different things about the children and maybe something I can use in the future.
It is strange how my blog is turning out to be about how Life is not always perfect. I mean I have stories about the children on here and sometimes they aren't perfect stories and mine certainly are not either. Where would the adventure be if we all did live perfect lives and not let God have control. My mottos for this year and I think it would be neat for a family/ my future family if it is in the future is: "Life is not always perfect but why would we want it that way. If that was the case, then we would all have boring lives" and God is always changing and growing us, and it is never good to be comfortable, because if we are comfortable we aren't open to what God could be making in us".
Those two sayings wraps up one main thing we need do to for God. TRUST HIM and let Him lead our life and things will turn out perfect. Maybe not to our liking at all or right away but in His Timing and Love.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
2014 is God's Year
Let's see. What did I get done last year? I got a job that I love and still working at it by happy about 100 children. I also helped my parents move closer to me. That's about it on the good part of it. This is is going to be more then that happening on the good side. I know who I am now and I'm trusting God all the way because I have no idea what is in store for me after He has worked in my life this past year. Things have changed a lot for the good and the bad and it is mostly because of my job but I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.
My main goal this year is to let God have control and just be me in Him. I realized why try to be something that I'm not. I love my job but has always I feel like there is something more for me this year that is bigger and better. I can tell you two things I do plan on looking at bigger apartments and learning to shoot a hunting gun or bow. Other then that, I have no idea what God has for me this year.
I've learn a lot about myself over the past year. The children have taught me a lot. I really do have compassion for the children and when you are the only one that takes the time to understand them that can be hard with as many children as I have to work with. I wish I could make a list of what I have learned about me. I know I'm not the same person as I was a year ago for sure. The biggest thing that God has taught me this is though is to Trust Him with everything. Trust Him with the children, trust Him with a job, trust Him with my friends, trust Him with the little things in life, and trust Him to lead me. I hate it when I can't put things into perfect words and that is how this past year has been. I've tried but don't know if I've done a good job with it or not.
I just feel like I wasted my year sometimes because I felt like I have become a work-a-lic but it is for a good reason. I try not to say that I wasted a yea because helping about 100 children is not wasting anything for me because it is my passion. I've also learned a lot about my passion and it is just getting deeper. It's strange and I'll be real hear for a second. I've been crying a lot these past two days because it is just one of those times you have no idea what God has in store for you. Nothing is in my control and even though God tells me to trust Him I'm still scared. I'm hoping to work on my boundaries and maybe that will give me some control, but God most of the control, of my life this new year and I pray that they are God's boundaries not mine. Question is: Will I really stick with them and make my life worth living this year? Will I look back at 2014 and say those boundaries helped me have a happier, healthier life?
I think I can do the boundaries better then I could have last year (2012) or in high school because I know now that boundaries is all that life is. I have the books "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend and then two books by my favorite childhood star Candace Cameron Bure called "Reshaping it All" and "Balancing it All". I know you have to live life to learn and you can't just learn by a book but these books can be tools to help me. My biggest thing to work on this year with God is my motivation for physical and spiritual fitness. I'm sure bow and gun hunting can help with with my physical part somehow. :)
Just thinking I need to write out a daily schudle for me too to start my year off and put it where I can see it so that would help with my days. I was thinking about putting it with some of my boundaries and I still could but putting it in like a schulde can help me a lot too.
My main goal this year is to let God have control and just be me in Him. I realized why try to be something that I'm not. I love my job but has always I feel like there is something more for me this year that is bigger and better. I can tell you two things I do plan on looking at bigger apartments and learning to shoot a hunting gun or bow. Other then that, I have no idea what God has for me this year.
I've learn a lot about myself over the past year. The children have taught me a lot. I really do have compassion for the children and when you are the only one that takes the time to understand them that can be hard with as many children as I have to work with. I wish I could make a list of what I have learned about me. I know I'm not the same person as I was a year ago for sure. The biggest thing that God has taught me this is though is to Trust Him with everything. Trust Him with the children, trust Him with a job, trust Him with my friends, trust Him with the little things in life, and trust Him to lead me. I hate it when I can't put things into perfect words and that is how this past year has been. I've tried but don't know if I've done a good job with it or not.
I just feel like I wasted my year sometimes because I felt like I have become a work-a-lic but it is for a good reason. I try not to say that I wasted a yea because helping about 100 children is not wasting anything for me because it is my passion. I've also learned a lot about my passion and it is just getting deeper. It's strange and I'll be real hear for a second. I've been crying a lot these past two days because it is just one of those times you have no idea what God has in store for you. Nothing is in my control and even though God tells me to trust Him I'm still scared. I'm hoping to work on my boundaries and maybe that will give me some control, but God most of the control, of my life this new year and I pray that they are God's boundaries not mine. Question is: Will I really stick with them and make my life worth living this year? Will I look back at 2014 and say those boundaries helped me have a happier, healthier life?
I think I can do the boundaries better then I could have last year (2012) or in high school because I know now that boundaries is all that life is. I have the books "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend and then two books by my favorite childhood star Candace Cameron Bure called "Reshaping it All" and "Balancing it All". I know you have to live life to learn and you can't just learn by a book but these books can be tools to help me. My biggest thing to work on this year with God is my motivation for physical and spiritual fitness. I'm sure bow and gun hunting can help with with my physical part somehow. :)
Just thinking I need to write out a daily schudle for me too to start my year off and put it where I can see it so that would help with my days. I was thinking about putting it with some of my boundaries and I still could but putting it in like a schulde can help me a lot too.
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