My Little Farm Boy

        I've been thinking a lot lately about the country and the farm. Everything I do or think I have thought about in a country way whether it is Bible verses or children. The Bible verses will come later. The next entery or the one after next. Anyways, I've gotten really close to this little boy at my work and he loves the farm. His grandparents sent him two stuffed cows and all he talks about is the farm with me. He has cows, chickens, one rooster, and he said something about pigs too. When he talks about the farm or his grandpa's farm, he has the biggest smile on his face. When he got the two stuffed cows, he smiled so big. It was so neat to see.
          It is so strange how I can relate to children like that the best. I know and believe that the farm and country is great for the children espically in hard situations. Maybe it is big I started out the 1st four years of  my life on one. He said, last night, that he wanted "his Tiffney" to give him his bath. It is like a week or two before the children leave I get so hooked on them. It is kind of like God saying make a different in this life before he lives and do it in a week or fewer days and then the feelings come out every night when I get home. It is also hard too because it is when they start to act back up because they know they are leaving soon. It's like that is when they need a compassionate person the most. I don't teach, I care.
          For the past week it has been hard on me and on him. On him, because he is leaving soon. On me because he keeps crying before bedtime, which he didn't use to do. He wants me to do everything with him like bath and bedtime. Even though, I like it. It is hard when you are the only one they see every day at work. He tells me everything how he will be going to a foster home, how he misses home and wants to go home. He cries at night "I want my grandma and grandpa", "I want to go home" and "I don't like it here." He told me last night that he didn't want me in the bedroom so I walked out because it wasn't helping him get to sleep anyways with me in there and he yelled, "Miss Tiffney". It's sad to see these children that confused.
          Weds. night, I did rock him to sleep and that is when he told me stories about the farm and the kind of animals he had on it. He even told me about the scary things in his room at home like ghosts and gorillas. I recited "The Lion King" to him because he wanted me to tell a story and he picked that one. That was the same night that he was throwing a huge fit in bed and I finilly bent beside his bed and started to talk to him and ask him what was wrong and why he was upset/sad? He told me and then I rocked him.
          I was so proud of him though yesterday. I had a little teacher's moment even though I didn't teach him how to do it. I cried for real after he did this. He made the first letter of his name by himself and he kept rewriting it because he was so happy that he could do it. When he wrote it the first time, there was the biggest smile ever on his face. One I haven't seen stay on his face for a long time and he acted better for a little bit. He kept saying, "My name, my name" even though it was only the first letter.  The first letter is an "E". He did something by himself and he was proud of it. This is the same boy that tells me that he loves me every night or almost every night if I will do things right in his book.
           It is the little moments like these that I will remember and that I learn so many things from. I felt bad because I couldn't rock him last night because he wasn't behaving or being quite when I was in there and then he yelled my name while the whole wing was asleep. I feel bad for the other children and teachers because he wants me to do everything. I shouldn't feel bad, though, that shows me that he knows he can trust me and that he loves me even without the words. I try to remember that throughout the day with him. I also try to be fair with the other children too. It's hard to do sometimes though.