God is really working on me lately and it hit me tonight at church. I've spent the last two weeks study who I was meant to be to God in my Bible Study. I am His Bride, His Beautiful One, His Beloved One and so on. Learning that I am all of those things to Him, I have to let go of what I was holding on to all these years that I didn't even knew existed. I have to kneel down in my Garden and pray that His Will be done in my life.
My garden is not beautiful yet. Since it is just being to be Spring and rain more then snow, it is just getting what it needs. My garden got planted and there are still seeds to plant but some seeds are growing right now. I saw all the weeds that were in my garden and the darkness that shined over it for a lot of years. Nothing could grow there but weeds because weeds grow everywhere no matter the soil type. Only flowers grow when the soil is wet, strong, and well fed.
In my dark garden, the weeds of Betrayal, abandonment, Injustice, condemnation, and abuse was growing without me even thinking that I was going through those things. As I look at my past now, I at least had every one of those things sometime or another in my life. I mean come on I'm from a small country school with 30 students in my class. I was betrayed by a friend my senior year. Then I was abandon by everyone when I moved away to college. I've had a lot of times where I thought things weren't fair in my life. A lot of times where I was abused whether feelings or mental wise.
I just remember people being all around me and not one good encouragement or word surrounded me until college. Then it was hard to let people in and honestly I was scared to go to a straight Christian college. It was so different but the people there were so helpful and nice. I learned so much there. There I think is when my flower garden started to grow and got sunlight to shine on it. That was good for about 5 years and then I moved to AR and those weeds started growing up again and the flowers were dieing. I had to start over with friends, church home, and a real job. It was okay and I got through it but it was 2 years ago that changed my life.
I even have had friends that I felt like betrayed me here in AR but I know how to handle that in a better way and yes, I made most of the mistakes in those friendships. I lost my first job in AR for what I thought was injustice and spent a month looking for a new one and I'm still there today. I love it because you see children with their own weeds of those 5 things and you just want to help them. You forget about your life and focus on them. I thought I was fine with the job that I love so much and thought that it was good but then I started something personal in my life back last July and it has helped me a lot. I feel a lot more free since I did it.
I can think better know and see where God is leading me. I'm not always sad like I use to be and I don't care what people think of me. I understand and am understanding myself a lot better. I want more because I know I can do better then I am right now. I'm not fully at my flower garden yet. When I get there, though, I will be able to be honest with myself and people, trust in God with everything, know my God-given intention and identity. I will grow into beautiful flowers whether it be roses, daises, sunflowers, lilacs, tulips, and so on.
What comforts me, though, through all of this is knowing Jesus had his own garden that He was in before the cross for us. He went through all of those 5 things but yet out of those 5 things He trusted, was honest, knew his intention and identity in God, His Father. He knew the Plan His Father had for Him so He was confidence that He was doing the right thing. I know I'm not alone when I feel the weeds growing back up and the sun starting to fade away from my garden. I just have to get back on the path God has for me and He will make my garden beautiful again.
God can also make a new garden altogether out of the old one. He might turn or change your plans totally around to match His. I know He has done that for me in so many ways like moving me here to AR, the city of Wal-Mart and taking me away from the official education field when I wanted to be a teacher, and putting me somewhere where I never thought I would be plus maybe going back to grad school which I never thought I could do. I also thought I would be at least married by now or wanted to be but I'm not there yet either. I'm glad and a lot happier with God's Plan because I'm learning a lot about myself and about Him to where it will make things easier then if they have happened like I wanted them too.
Just give God the shovel and let Him dig it. Like my FFA quote was during my first and second year of high school, "Life's a garden, dig it" but might I add "Life's a garden, let God dig it".
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
God is Enough
Yesterday morning I got up thinking no matter if I'm alone for life or have someone always beside me "God is enough". I was just thinking about what I am doing and what I want to do in life and how hard it would be for someone to stay with me through everything. I even have some hard times staying with the friends that I should stay with and doing things for them. Then today I did something special for a friend and it felt good for me at least. I hoped it felt good for my friend and not strange but I know it felt good for me.
It is strange because I have been reading my Bible a lot more this week and learning that God will answer me when I cry out to Him and give me blessings beyond belief. Today, after work, I felt that in a way that I never have before. Usually as selfish as I am, I do things to please other people and hope they pay me back in someway. Well, today I don't need any pay back. I'm happy with what I got.
The things that I got was a smile, more confidence that I can do things, and just the joy of doing that special thing for a friend on a special day. It is strange that when God is really enough how simple, little things can mean the world to you without pay back. How you can see the great small things you get back without any big thing hooked on. Usually when I do something that I'm not sure of, I'm really shaky afterwards but today I wasn't. I was for sure I was suppose to do what I did because it was a last minute thing for me and I had confidence in it and actually did it and it seemed easy.
It might of not turned out how I wanted it to because I wanted everything to be homemade and pretty. Hence the FACS major in me, but it wasn't. It was just some cupcakes that I brought from Wal-Mart and put words in black gel on them in the car. Yes, I did say in the car because it was on the way home from work. They didn't look too great and pretty but my friend got to share them where my friend worked and celebrate a "surprise" party that the friend didn't have to plan at all.
If you know me, you know I like most things planned out because it makes things easier and it's not so stressful but I'm learning something. When God is enough in life, things can just happen out of the blue and those things can be the best things that happen in life to you. The cupcakes might not have been the best looking or the best tasting but it is the thought, and always is the thought, that were behind those cupcakes that counted. I think, in a way, my friend knew what I was trying to do. I was trying to make a special day, extra special. My friend wasn't going to get away without a party and I think my friend knew that in a way.
I think my friend also learned something about me, "Don't ever doubt what I will or won't do because it just might happen." It happened because I knew whatever happened "God is enough" for me in my life. I don't need to make my friend or anyone else happy. I just need to follow God and obey Him and I felt like I did with all that I did today.
It is strange because I have been reading my Bible a lot more this week and learning that God will answer me when I cry out to Him and give me blessings beyond belief. Today, after work, I felt that in a way that I never have before. Usually as selfish as I am, I do things to please other people and hope they pay me back in someway. Well, today I don't need any pay back. I'm happy with what I got.
The things that I got was a smile, more confidence that I can do things, and just the joy of doing that special thing for a friend on a special day. It is strange that when God is really enough how simple, little things can mean the world to you without pay back. How you can see the great small things you get back without any big thing hooked on. Usually when I do something that I'm not sure of, I'm really shaky afterwards but today I wasn't. I was for sure I was suppose to do what I did because it was a last minute thing for me and I had confidence in it and actually did it and it seemed easy.
It might of not turned out how I wanted it to because I wanted everything to be homemade and pretty. Hence the FACS major in me, but it wasn't. It was just some cupcakes that I brought from Wal-Mart and put words in black gel on them in the car. Yes, I did say in the car because it was on the way home from work. They didn't look too great and pretty but my friend got to share them where my friend worked and celebrate a "surprise" party that the friend didn't have to plan at all.
If you know me, you know I like most things planned out because it makes things easier and it's not so stressful but I'm learning something. When God is enough in life, things can just happen out of the blue and those things can be the best things that happen in life to you. The cupcakes might not have been the best looking or the best tasting but it is the thought, and always is the thought, that were behind those cupcakes that counted. I think, in a way, my friend knew what I was trying to do. I was trying to make a special day, extra special. My friend wasn't going to get away without a party and I think my friend knew that in a way.
I think my friend also learned something about me, "Don't ever doubt what I will or won't do because it just might happen." It happened because I knew whatever happened "God is enough" for me in my life. I don't need to make my friend or anyone else happy. I just need to follow God and obey Him and I felt like I did with all that I did today.
Monday, March 9, 2015
The Day I Started Observing OT
The day I started observing OT changed my life for the better. It was everything I ever dreamed it would be. Playing with cute children. Helping them reach new levels of learning that everyone else thought was impossible for them. Learning about new things everyday whether it is something new with the child or a different disability that they might have. I would and could do it every day of my life.
Observing OT in a preschool setting is pretty amazing. First, I miss the preschool setting very much. I miss the wide open spaces in preschool buildings where everywhere you turn there is a child there. I miss how nice the teachers and every adult is to the children. I love how the OTs had their little spaces where they could take the children away and out of the classroom to work with them. They had their little office for fine motor skills and to work on their own papers. Then they have this big "gym" with a lot of gross motor things in it like a basketball goal with weighted balls, ball pit, different kinds of swings, and more little things like a rocking horse.
I got to see 3 other OTs besides the one I was observing work with different children so there was 4 OTs total yet the "gym" was big enough for everyone. I won't take the job lightly because when it involves a child's life you never do but it seemed so easy. I will say though the classes you have to take before grad school and in grad school don't look too easy at all. My eyes were really opened on some of the reasons why I have to take the classes that I do which are mostly science and math classes. My OT explained to me a lot of the muscle tone and strength that the children didn't have or wasn't using like they should be at the age they were.
We had one little girl that her muscle was growing faster then the outer part of her body. I learned about two new disabilities and then worked with some children with autism and just behavioral development problems. My OT also showed me some of the paper work that she does and explained how they get goals and programs set up for the children and they have a year to improve on their goals and hopefully pass them. All the OTs explained what it was like to be an OT like the hours you get and the things you have to do in college. Most of them had to observe and get certain hours before and while in college too so this isn't a new thing.
My OT also advised me to at least observe one place where there was adult OT involved even though I know I want to work with children because colleges have you work with each one for a certain amount of time for an internship. I have to look at that now but it will be interested because my grandparents have been through some OT or it probably could have helped them along with PT if they were.
My heart is really set on doing OT now and there is nothing that can change that. That is my new dream. I want to help children like I got helped in my childhood even though it was mainly with speech. It is a kind of therapy that goes hand in hand. I remember people setting up plans for me and helping me get to my goals and that is where I'm going next. I'm going to a public school where the OT helps K-12 grade to see what it is like. If you can't tell, I just like learning new things all the time. I can't just stick with the same old routine time after time.
Observing OT in a preschool setting is pretty amazing. First, I miss the preschool setting very much. I miss the wide open spaces in preschool buildings where everywhere you turn there is a child there. I miss how nice the teachers and every adult is to the children. I love how the OTs had their little spaces where they could take the children away and out of the classroom to work with them. They had their little office for fine motor skills and to work on their own papers. Then they have this big "gym" with a lot of gross motor things in it like a basketball goal with weighted balls, ball pit, different kinds of swings, and more little things like a rocking horse.
I got to see 3 other OTs besides the one I was observing work with different children so there was 4 OTs total yet the "gym" was big enough for everyone. I won't take the job lightly because when it involves a child's life you never do but it seemed so easy. I will say though the classes you have to take before grad school and in grad school don't look too easy at all. My eyes were really opened on some of the reasons why I have to take the classes that I do which are mostly science and math classes. My OT explained to me a lot of the muscle tone and strength that the children didn't have or wasn't using like they should be at the age they were.
We had one little girl that her muscle was growing faster then the outer part of her body. I learned about two new disabilities and then worked with some children with autism and just behavioral development problems. My OT also showed me some of the paper work that she does and explained how they get goals and programs set up for the children and they have a year to improve on their goals and hopefully pass them. All the OTs explained what it was like to be an OT like the hours you get and the things you have to do in college. Most of them had to observe and get certain hours before and while in college too so this isn't a new thing.
My OT also advised me to at least observe one place where there was adult OT involved even though I know I want to work with children because colleges have you work with each one for a certain amount of time for an internship. I have to look at that now but it will be interested because my grandparents have been through some OT or it probably could have helped them along with PT if they were.
My heart is really set on doing OT now and there is nothing that can change that. That is my new dream. I want to help children like I got helped in my childhood even though it was mainly with speech. It is a kind of therapy that goes hand in hand. I remember people setting up plans for me and helping me get to my goals and that is where I'm going next. I'm going to a public school where the OT helps K-12 grade to see what it is like. If you can't tell, I just like learning new things all the time. I can't just stick with the same old routine time after time.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Stuck in Life
I don't want this entry to sound desperate or sad so I'll try my best not to make it that way but it is part of my path that I have to accept and take part in to become stronger and closer to God. I'm at the age where I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I want to settle yet it is so hard to do just that. I still have some things that I want to explore like different career paths and maybe travel a little bit more and see what grad school is like. I want to buy a house and live in it by myself for a few years so I can have it just the way I want it. So many things to do by myself but yet I feel like I need to settle. Get a good job that pays well and find someone to live with.
I don't just want to "find" those two things. I want those two things to be special and something I have to work for. Maybe not a lot but at least a little. My friends tell me not to compare my life with the other lives around me which I do a lot and I've done better at but I got into this mess lately that made me do that. I look around and everyone as a good job, they're leaving me to move on to something better, or they have some kind of a mate and here I am with none of those. I know I should be happy being single and all but at times it is hard especially when you don't know what you want to do as a single.
I have single friends that will go all out and go back to college or already live in a house and here I am still searching for my career. Trying to find out where my money will come from for college if I only work part time and so on. I'm learning a lot that with the next steps I want to take in my life I have to trust God fully and follow Him all the way.
There is no other way that you can live life fully if you are not trusting God with everything you have or you will be held back for a very long time. You can't have a career or person you love without God in those things.
To be honest, I don't feel like I fully get the whole relationship with God thing yet. I know there is so much more but I feel like I'm missing something important.
Maybe it is the devil trying to get a hold of me because He knows if I go forwards with God's plans that was easily shown to me this past week I will become stronger in God and he doesn't want that. He wants me to feel stuck in the same place over and over. He wants me to think that I can't have a better life when really I can. I can do so much more then I am doing now. I just have to let go and let God. The devil and I have been through this fight over a bunch of times and I'm just done fighting with him.
I have had thoughts about going into Special education or OT or something more to do with children but there is something that always stopped me. I'm done with it! I want to move on I want to take the hard way out. I have been raised and taught well enough to where I can save
money or work hard to earn that money. I'm not a picky buyer or eater. I could eat nothing or just fruit if certain times calls for that. I just know I am better then what I'm doing at now so why waste my time. Some of you might say that I'm not wasting my time and agree. There is a fine line where I am now about wasting my time and not wasting my time. I care about the children a lot but other things just aren't working for me.
I'm a person with bigger dreams and I just don't want to be stuck where I am now for the rest of my life and the late 20s and early 30s are places to start settling down and getting into what you can call a career and not just a job. You are searching for your career then so that you can work on other things the rest of your life. I just need to pray bigger prayers and just be ready when God gives me the chance and/or answer. Don't doubt just go jump in with a little faith. Is this wrong of me to think this way? I know a career won't replace what God can do in my life. It won't make me happy. I just feel like God has done all He can with me here and taught me all he can and now He wants to take me deeper into my life to see more of what He can do with it. I've tried and no one is listening and if they are it seems like they are taking forever to get things done.
It might be scary at times but I really think I'm ready to move on into a new chapter of my life. Ready to look and feel professional. Ready to show them that I am really older then they think I am. Ready to show people that I can do an office job with children. I shouldn't be scared with God right by my side through everything. He will send people and things I need to get me through different things. That is what He has done so far and He will continue to do that.
I don't just want to "find" those two things. I want those two things to be special and something I have to work for. Maybe not a lot but at least a little. My friends tell me not to compare my life with the other lives around me which I do a lot and I've done better at but I got into this mess lately that made me do that. I look around and everyone as a good job, they're leaving me to move on to something better, or they have some kind of a mate and here I am with none of those. I know I should be happy being single and all but at times it is hard especially when you don't know what you want to do as a single.
I have single friends that will go all out and go back to college or already live in a house and here I am still searching for my career. Trying to find out where my money will come from for college if I only work part time and so on. I'm learning a lot that with the next steps I want to take in my life I have to trust God fully and follow Him all the way.
There is no other way that you can live life fully if you are not trusting God with everything you have or you will be held back for a very long time. You can't have a career or person you love without God in those things.
To be honest, I don't feel like I fully get the whole relationship with God thing yet. I know there is so much more but I feel like I'm missing something important.
Maybe it is the devil trying to get a hold of me because He knows if I go forwards with God's plans that was easily shown to me this past week I will become stronger in God and he doesn't want that. He wants me to feel stuck in the same place over and over. He wants me to think that I can't have a better life when really I can. I can do so much more then I am doing now. I just have to let go and let God. The devil and I have been through this fight over a bunch of times and I'm just done fighting with him.
I have had thoughts about going into Special education or OT or something more to do with children but there is something that always stopped me. I'm done with it! I want to move on I want to take the hard way out. I have been raised and taught well enough to where I can save
money or work hard to earn that money. I'm not a picky buyer or eater. I could eat nothing or just fruit if certain times calls for that. I just know I am better then what I'm doing at now so why waste my time. Some of you might say that I'm not wasting my time and agree. There is a fine line where I am now about wasting my time and not wasting my time. I care about the children a lot but other things just aren't working for me.I'm a person with bigger dreams and I just don't want to be stuck where I am now for the rest of my life and the late 20s and early 30s are places to start settling down and getting into what you can call a career and not just a job. You are searching for your career then so that you can work on other things the rest of your life. I just need to pray bigger prayers and just be ready when God gives me the chance and/or answer. Don't doubt just go jump in with a little faith. Is this wrong of me to think this way? I know a career won't replace what God can do in my life. It won't make me happy. I just feel like God has done all He can with me here and taught me all he can and now He wants to take me deeper into my life to see more of what He can do with it. I've tried and no one is listening and if they are it seems like they are taking forever to get things done.
It might be scary at times but I really think I'm ready to move on into a new chapter of my life. Ready to look and feel professional. Ready to show them that I am really older then they think I am. Ready to show people that I can do an office job with children. I shouldn't be scared with God right by my side through everything. He will send people and things I need to get me through different things. That is what He has done so far and He will continue
to do that.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Children are Learning
Today was a blessed day for me at work. It was just so neat to see all the children getting along and having blast in their own little way. No complaining or fights. It was a big blessing since I wasn't feeling so great at all either. There were a lot of littles moments that caught my eye but I am proud of one of my little girls.
Most of the morning they would be playing with legos or the leap pads that we have. The younger children would be playing with the trains. They kept busy by themselves for once and it was neat just to watch them play. They were a bit whiney again near nap time but they were also up pretty early this morning. We painted shamrocks with apples and the two oldest children built a big house with legos. It was just a really calm morning but there is one of my big girl that I was really proud of this morning.
This little girl needs or wants a lot of attention and she will throw her fit if she doesn't get it but today she got it because she asked nicely for it. She wanted to play a cookie jar game that we had and on the leap pad by herself so I told her she could sit in the dining room while she played it and the other staff and me just watched her while we were doing other things. She was really good compare to the other days this week. I was so proud of her that I got her a little gift at the end of my shift and it made her smile.
It was a little Hello Kitty note holder that could be colored and she went ahead and colored it. I told her before nap time though while we were playing in the gym that she had been very good for us this morning and that I was proud of her. If she kept it up maybe she could get a little something. She was coloring Hello Kitty with the other staff and the other staff told me that she said "I like my gift. This is fun coloring it". The other staff asked, "why?" and the little girl said in her own words, "It is fun getting things but mostly importantly I had a lot more fun playing here today because I listened." All it took was her to listen or ask.
I think she learned that and it is always neat to see an older kid get the idea of "life". That is the most important lesson you can learn about life. It can be fun but even us grown ups have to listen too all the time especially if we are following God. I also rocked her for a little bit at nap time as a reward for listening and told her that too. It was like she totally turned around this morning and she was a pretty neat girl when she wasn't so demanding or throwing her little fits.
It is always neat to see how far a child can come in just the time that we have them where I work. It is stories like these that make me stay longer because it shows me that I have and can make a different in a child's life. I also noticed today that she did want picked up some and a hug here and there and you just have to give it even to the bigger children sometime because everyone needs a hug and to be held here and there. As a grown up, I still like to get hugs from my friends and parents on a bad day or during a bad situation. It lifts me up big time.
I was worried about starting the whole reward for being good thing with this little girl and another girl but I think and hope it works. I don't fully agree on giving things because they are good but they have to learn to control themselves somehow and then maybe it can be taken away from them later without even thinking about it. Get them into the groove of being good and then maybe they will be good just because. We might not see it while they are with us but at least we started the whole thing in "training" them to control themselves.
If we have tried everything but this one thing, then why not try it and see what good it does, right? It is not like I bragged her the first time she got it. She got it because she was being good without knowing she would get something and I also gave her verbal praise before giving her the toy. Way before giving it to her so she knew I noticed it way before. I did kept reminding her through that "you are having a good day so far, let's not mess it up now" and that seemed to work too.
Little moments like these are what makes my job worth wild. Seeing the change that God can make in these children's hearts are amazing.
Most of the morning they would be playing with legos or the leap pads that we have. The younger children would be playing with the trains. They kept busy by themselves for once and it was neat just to watch them play. They were a bit whiney again near nap time but they were also up pretty early this morning. We painted shamrocks with apples and the two oldest children built a big house with legos. It was just a really calm morning but there is one of my big girl that I was really proud of this morning.
This little girl needs or wants a lot of attention and she will throw her fit if she doesn't get it but today she got it because she asked nicely for it. She wanted to play a cookie jar game that we had and on the leap pad by herself so I told her she could sit in the dining room while she played it and the other staff and me just watched her while we were doing other things. She was really good compare to the other days this week. I was so proud of her that I got her a little gift at the end of my shift and it made her smile.
It was a little Hello Kitty note holder that could be colored and she went ahead and colored it. I told her before nap time though while we were playing in the gym that she had been very good for us this morning and that I was proud of her. If she kept it up maybe she could get a little something. She was coloring Hello Kitty with the other staff and the other staff told me that she said "I like my gift. This is fun coloring it". The other staff asked, "why?" and the little girl said in her own words, "It is fun getting things but mostly importantly I had a lot more fun playing here today because I listened." All it took was her to listen or ask.
I think she learned that and it is always neat to see an older kid get the idea of "life". That is the most important lesson you can learn about life. It can be fun but even us grown ups have to listen too all the time especially if we are following God. I also rocked her for a little bit at nap time as a reward for listening and told her that too. It was like she totally turned around this morning and she was a pretty neat girl when she wasn't so demanding or throwing her little fits.
It is always neat to see how far a child can come in just the time that we have them where I work. It is stories like these that make me stay longer because it shows me that I have and can make a different in a child's life. I also noticed today that she did want picked up some and a hug here and there and you just have to give it even to the bigger children sometime because everyone needs a hug and to be held here and there. As a grown up, I still like to get hugs from my friends and parents on a bad day or during a bad situation. It lifts me up big time.
I was worried about starting the whole reward for being good thing with this little girl and another girl but I think and hope it works. I don't fully agree on giving things because they are good but they have to learn to control themselves somehow and then maybe it can be taken away from them later without even thinking about it. Get them into the groove of being good and then maybe they will be good just because. We might not see it while they are with us but at least we started the whole thing in "training" them to control themselves.
If we have tried everything but this one thing, then why not try it and see what good it does, right? It is not like I bragged her the first time she got it. She got it because she was being good without knowing she would get something and I also gave her verbal praise before giving her the toy. Way before giving it to her so she knew I noticed it way before. I did kept reminding her through that "you are having a good day so far, let's not mess it up now" and that seemed to work too.
Little moments like these are what makes my job worth wild. Seeing the change that God can make in these children's hearts are amazing.
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Second Snow Mission Trip of 2015
It is so fun when I truly get to stay over at work and be there for the children. Some people might think it is so strange of me but that is where my heart is right now and I'm single so why not do it now. At least, I know, when I'm there, they are getting some routine like usual. There might be some changes like playing out in the snow or doing special crafts but it is usually the same. I only had to spend one night this time and I got such a good night sleep that I had fun with the children today.
I can't tell write much about what we did because of safety issues but I will write that we had a snow day in the snow. We made bird feeders from toilet paper rolls with peanut butter and bird seed on them. Then after snack we went out and hung those bird feeders in the woods behind the building. We walked in the snow and the children had a blast doing it. We saw some kind of footprints in the snow whether it was raccoons or another small animal we don't know but they were small with the crawls on the end of them. We followed them to see if we could "hunt" down the animal but no such luck.
After we got done walking in the woods, we went up to the hill behind us and went or tried to go sledding down it but that didn't work so well. The children had fun walking and playing in it anyways. Some of them made snow angels and I didn't even have to tell them to do them. They knew how. We had another snowball fight and I got tons of snow on me. I will admit I did get in the snowball fight without gloves on and yes, my hands were cold for a little while but it was worth it. The children were all really sleepy when we went back inside so there was a lot of crying because it was almost nap time but they had a lot of fun. Most of them would go out and do it again if they could. I also got to take some pictures of them playing in the snow which is another one of my favorite things to do (photography) but I don't do it a lot or when I should because I don't think about it much or on time when we are doing a fun thing. I think this is the first time that I actually got pictures of them playing in the snow and making things instead of just standing in front of a 3 feet snowman, which was pretty cool too.
I think snow days are the best days with the children I work with because snow just makes everyone happy. Honestly, those types of days, I think are the days that I see the children most happy then other days. They are outside have fun and running around being free and who knows how many of those children get to do that. It is also a new experience for some and it is just fun to see what they will do or know how to do. I had some criers from the very start when we went to the hill but they would stop every once in awhile and throw a snow ball or try to sled.
I always complain about having to work on snow days and staying over but the truth is I really like it. It is a special day within itself. There is just no other feeling that can be experienced with the kind of children I work with and a snow day. The Happiest days on earth!
I can't tell write much about what we did because of safety issues but I will write that we had a snow day in the snow. We made bird feeders from toilet paper rolls with peanut butter and bird seed on them. Then after snack we went out and hung those bird feeders in the woods behind the building. We walked in the snow and the children had a blast doing it. We saw some kind of footprints in the snow whether it was raccoons or another small animal we don't know but they were small with the crawls on the end of them. We followed them to see if we could "hunt" down the animal but no such luck.
After we got done walking in the woods, we went up to the hill behind us and went or tried to go sledding down it but that didn't work so well. The children had fun walking and playing in it anyways. Some of them made snow angels and I didn't even have to tell them to do them. They knew how. We had another snowball fight and I got tons of snow on me. I will admit I did get in the snowball fight without gloves on and yes, my hands were cold for a little while but it was worth it. The children were all really sleepy when we went back inside so there was a lot of crying because it was almost nap time but they had a lot of fun. Most of them would go out and do it again if they could. I also got to take some pictures of them playing in the snow which is another one of my favorite things to do (photography) but I don't do it a lot or when I should because I don't think about it much or on time when we are doing a fun thing. I think this is the first time that I actually got pictures of them playing in the snow and making things instead of just standing in front of a 3 feet snowman, which was pretty cool too.
I think snow days are the best days with the children I work with because snow just makes everyone happy. Honestly, those types of days, I think are the days that I see the children most happy then other days. They are outside have fun and running around being free and who knows how many of those children get to do that. It is also a new experience for some and it is just fun to see what they will do or know how to do. I had some criers from the very start when we went to the hill but they would stop every once in awhile and throw a snow ball or try to sled.
I always complain about having to work on snow days and staying over but the truth is I really like it. It is a special day within itself. There is just no other feeling that can be experienced with the kind of children I work with and a snow day. The Happiest days on earth!
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Going on 3rd Year
This entry won't be very long because I can't say much about where I work but I am in my 3rd year at the place. That is the longest that I have been at any job so far. Of course, this is my second "real" job out of college. I'm enjoy it a lot. There are good and bad things about it and I get stressed at times, but isn't that every job? I really am amazed at myself for staying this long and how much I have changed personally and as a worker because of it.
Yes, I am a College of the Ozarks graduate but nothing can get you ready for what I do. Not even a great college like College of the Ozarks (might be a little bais there). You just have to lean on God every time something goes wrong or you are worried. I have became more of a leader in a lot of ways while being there. I have also spoke up more for the children because they cannot speak for themselves. It is hard job and there are few people out there that can do it and God gave me the gift of being able to do it.
Yes, I also want to move on later in life because knowing God, He won't keep me in my comfort zone. He never does because He knows deep down I like to learn and explore new things even though I might not seem like I do on the outside. I like a challenge every now and then. Just like any other job. I can only do it for so long but we'll see how long it will be. God has used this job in more ways then one.
He has used it to show me my next step in life. I remember when I started it back 2 years ago, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. Now I do and I have talked about it a lot of times on here. He totally turned my life around using this job. Never thought I would want to get or think about getting a Master's and here I am thinking about it and it's not in education, it is in OT. Something I never heard of when I was little.
You would ask me how to explain my job and the experience I've had at my job have changed my life. Well, I would have a hard time explaining. It is like God is putting a story together that I don't understand but that is the best part, right? It is God showing me that children matter to Him and He wants me to take care of them in every way that I can. I might be repeating myself a lot lately but it is just want I'm thinking about.
I am a woman of God that LOVES children and that is something rare in today's world. Sadly. It is like God is showing me how beautiful I am, how much I am His Bride, and how to live happily ever after. It is me having my own children whether I get married or not. It is me knowing that I have helped or at least started to help 200+ children have happy memories. I learned something this past week that I would love to share and it is a good thing for meet remember with my job. I heard it from a lady who was sexual abused in her childhood.
"When you ask an abused child to look back at their childhood, they don't remember very many things because they have blocked it out. All they remember are the bad things and that is all they might of had during their childhood."
I have the chance for at least 45 days to make their days at my place of work a happy 45 days. Hopefully, those are the days that they remember. Those are the days that they grew, had toys to play with, had a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and so on. For some of those children, the place I work is the first place they see like that. A place where they have everything they need and people that truly care about them and not their selves.
I think about my childhood and even though I had a great family life. My school life was hard and I got teased a lot. It was my school days that left marks on me and made me grow closer to God in some ways. You never know what a child is going through so treat them like Jesus would. You might make a BIG DIFFERENCE in that child's life. Make the time to teach them, cuddle them, rock them at sleepy time, listen to their feelings, and play with them because you never know when they will get it again or that is the way I have to think in my field of work right now. These things are some of the things I have learned in my past 2 years and, I know, continue to grow in my 3rd year plus a lot more.
Yes, I am a College of the Ozarks graduate but nothing can get you ready for what I do. Not even a great college like College of the Ozarks (might be a little bais there). You just have to lean on God every time something goes wrong or you are worried. I have became more of a leader in a lot of ways while being there. I have also spoke up more for the children because they cannot speak for themselves. It is hard job and there are few people out there that can do it and God gave me the gift of being able to do it.
Yes, I also want to move on later in life because knowing God, He won't keep me in my comfort zone. He never does because He knows deep down I like to learn and explore new things even though I might not seem like I do on the outside. I like a challenge every now and then. Just like any other job. I can only do it for so long but we'll see how long it will be. God has used this job in more ways then one.
He has used it to show me my next step in life. I remember when I started it back 2 years ago, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. Now I do and I have talked about it a lot of times on here. He totally turned my life around using this job. Never thought I would want to get or think about getting a Master's and here I am thinking about it and it's not in education, it is in OT. Something I never heard of when I was little.
You would ask me how to explain my job and the experience I've had at my job have changed my life. Well, I would have a hard time explaining. It is like God is putting a story together that I don't understand but that is the best part, right? It is God showing me that children matter to Him and He wants me to take care of them in every way that I can. I might be repeating myself a lot lately but it is just want I'm thinking about.
I am a woman of God that LOVES children and that is something rare in today's world. Sadly. It is like God is showing me how beautiful I am, how much I am His Bride, and how to live happily ever after. It is me having my own children whether I get married or not. It is me knowing that I have helped or at least started to help 200+ children have happy memories. I learned something this past week that I would love to share and it is a good thing for meet remember with my job. I heard it from a lady who was sexual abused in her childhood.
"When you ask an abused child to look back at their childhood, they don't remember very many things because they have blocked it out. All they remember are the bad things and that is all they might of had during their childhood."
I have the chance for at least 45 days to make their days at my place of work a happy 45 days. Hopefully, those are the days that they remember. Those are the days that they grew, had toys to play with, had a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and so on. For some of those children, the place I work is the first place they see like that. A place where they have everything they need and people that truly care about them and not their selves.
I think about my childhood and even though I had a great family life. My school life was hard and I got teased a lot. It was my school days that left marks on me and made me grow closer to God in some ways. You never know what a child is going through so treat them like Jesus would. You might make a BIG DIFFERENCE in that child's life. Make the time to teach them, cuddle them, rock them at sleepy time, listen to their feelings, and play with them because you never know when they will get it again or that is the way I have to think in my field of work right now. These things are some of the things I have learned in my past 2 years and, I know, continue to grow in my 3rd year plus a lot more.
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Christmas Eve Sermon
Brett Furgason John 3:16-Main verse -God initiates because He loves us. -God loves us even when we are broken and sinful. -Gave His One of a...
