Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

        I've been reading and looking at Proverbs chapter 31 with a different type of view. It is about how to be a Godly women usually but I saw it in a different view this time. The view is how to organized my life to be a Godly women. I found a lot of steps that I need to start doing.          Here are the steps that I pray for for myself because it is my heart's desire to be a women of God.           - Enrich people's lives           - Be trusting           - Not hinder but help everyone           - Gets up before draw and prepares   for the day           - Energetic and strong           - Hardworker           -...

         "There is no better place to live then on the farm."           I have no words for the way I am feeling right now. I feel like my life is being taken out from underneath me and I know it is for the best though. Another big change is happening in my life right now and will continue to for awhile. When someone has lived on a farm for 30 years and I have grown up on it for the first 4 years and then every summer after that it becomes a second home. It makes you realize how that lifestyle and community is going down. Not many people farm anymore so you want to hold on to the ones that do especially if they are part of your life. I can never think of my life without a farm to run to. Without a forest to walk in or chicken to collect eggs from or so many dogs to pet.          I'm usually not big on lifestyles but these past few years I'm seeing lifestyles and how I was raised is important and it is a part o...

          I was going to write more about God's Love and more devos. but I've been thinking about something a lot lately today because of what I've been doing throughout the day and it is something to think about a lot. I've been worrying about my future lately and where it is heading. I have all these ideas and decisions to make. It is like adult life is catching up to me for once. I also have a friend that is out West of vacation and I'm thinking how nice that would be just to get things sorted out. Get the courage to tell everyone what I really want to do and then do it.            I've been thinking a lot about grad college now for behavioral therapy. That costs so much money though and it is nice not to stress so much about money and being in debt. No matter what I do I feel like I will be in debt if I go back to college. It wouldn't take me so many years to get that degree but then I think about afterwards. Would I use it? Ho...

        Here is another version of the Love Chapter only it is geared towards friends.         Love is patient. - Do I give them enough time to answer back or get things done before we hang out?          Love is kind. - Do I have a servant's heart towards them?          Love is not jealous. - Do I like what my friends have or what they are doing? Do I think "if only"?          Love is not boastful. - Am I prideful when I share my ideas or life with them? Am I too prideful to share with them?          Love is not proud. - Do I ask for help or advice when I need it? Do I let them live my life with me?           Love is not rude. - Do I watch what I say about them to other people and when I'm around them about oth...

        I will give the credit and some of the question ideas to a women's company called "Proverbs 31 Ministry". I wanted to do something like this and next thing I know the ministry comes out with a devo like it. I tried to make the question for my job so I could ask them to myself during a hard day at work.           Love is patient. - Am I patient with the same child on their level?           Love is kind. - Am I kind when I have to wait for a child or repeat something over and over?            Love does not envy. - Do I wish that the child was "normal" or that a child would like me better then the other worker?            Love does not boast. - Do I share my thoughts and ideas in a helping way or a hey, look at me way?       ...

       "Love doesn't have to be spoken in words."        I had another God moment at work yesterday. I really saw and felt God there. It was a really great reminder of what love really is. Love is not just an "I love you" every now and then. It is more through the actions a person does for another. Yes, we can say it over and over but until we can prove it, it means nothing. It is a simple 4 letter word but yet as an action it's so hard.         Another one of my little girls came back but she with the big girls now because she is 5 or 6 years old. I saw her back for the first time at supper last night and she gave me the tightest hug ever. At first I don't think she noticed me because of my new haircut so she looked at me strange. I started to smile at her and that's when she noticed it was me and she smiled back really big.           She wa...

        I really dislike not having a computer to type on but I'll get over that. I'm going to take you on a journey of love. My next 3 or 4 enteries will be mainly about love. This one is where the thought all started about love and looking deeper into it. It is about a little boy from work and loving him.         There are times and moments where I really need to have patience and a lot of it with this little boy at work. Strangely enough, though I didn't know I was really loving him and that I could have done a little better at it. One night after a hard time with him I came home. Well, really it was the next day during my devo time with God, that God asked me how I was loving this boy and if I really was. I remember looking at one of my all time favorite chapters of the Bible and that was the Love Chapter.            As I was reading it, I remember thinking to my...

        Trying to find somewhere to write at times can be really hard espically when everywhere you go there is a wedding going on. I finally ended up on my apartment lawn. Anyways, have you ever read the book "Kisses from Katie"? I'm reading it for the second time with with a different view then the first time. The second time seems more possible for me. I could see myself in the story here in AR. I could write my own story. I could see God's Desire for me being fun! :)          The first time I read the book I got back from Guatemala and excited about what the Lord could do with me there. At the same time all the things Katie went through I knew I would go through some sort of the same things. Was I ready for that and could I handle it? Of course the only orphans too that were on my mind was what most people think orphans are.  That is children overseas that do not have parents to live with.   ...

       I sponsor a little girl from Compassion International and have sponsored her for about 8 years since she was at least 5. She is about 14 now and she just wrote me a letter that I got this month. We write back and forth every so often but this letter really got to me. She just got done celebrating "Love month" which is the month of March so I guess love was on her mind.           The strange thing about this letter was that she asked me,  "How's your love life?" Well, for those who know me I don't have a love life with a human but I do with the Heavenly Father. She just said "Love life" and I'm not sure if she knows the Lord yet so I told her about my love life with Him. That question did challenge me too for a few days. I had to stop and think about it but it is good to do that in any relationships. Where are we going, how am I growing, helping the other person to grow, and can I do more or something...

        This is a little story about one of my little girls and a moment I have with her at bedtime one night. Children can say the darnest things sometimes without even knowing it. Most of the time it is something meaningful at least to me.          One of my little girls is leaving today but I'll never forget what she said one night while we were reading the Bible together. She said, "God is God". Here is the whole conversation I had with her. We were reading Noah's Ark and of course it mentioned God. It said, "Noah loved God". The little girl said,  "I love God too". Then I asked her, "do you know who God is?" She replied back,  "God is God."             How simple is that answer: God is God. So easy to say, but yet do easy to forget. God is God which means He can do anything He wants to. He can pull us through anything. He can provide us with ...

     Put your name in the "I" places if this is you or you can pray it like it is.      God, make me a living sacrifice for You. Lead me in the way that would give You Glory. I want to live for You. A sacrifice is something you have to give up completely to someone or something. It is something valuable. Let me give up unimportant things for You.        I know being a living sacrifice is not easy. I might have to go through a lot of sufferings for God. It is all for His Glory, not mine. That is the mission for me here on earth from God.          When I'm a living sacrifice, I give up what I thought my life purpose was. Then I say,  "Here I am, send me." He has a purpose for each person to fulfill. We need to ask Him what it is and listen for the answer.           In Christ's Love, Amen       ...

        Have you ever wonder "does God shake us and if so for what"?  I've been looking at verses this past week with the word" shaken" in them or another form or word meaning the same. I compared the Old Testament and the New Testament. There are more verses in the Old Testament with that word in them. Don't take it has that's all if the 33 verses in the Bible with that word. That is just how many I found in a week.            Here is what I learned from the verses in the Old Testament. Every time I would read one it would be about a person being shaken (aka in trouble) and God coming to save them. The phases "lean on God" and "God wants us to really depend on Him" came to my mind. It shows His grace and mercy for us. There was a lot of verses in the Psalm from David struggling.  A man after God's own heart.             Now here is what...

      "I hope God Puts the answers on your heart...... All in His Timing of course."         It has been almost a week since I last wrote in here but that doesn't mean my life has not been crazy. That is all it had been so that's my reason for not writing as much. I do have a lot that I need to write though because God has been teaching me one thing after another. See if I can remember them all and get them out the next few days.           I've been thinking a lot about friend lately and how we came about to be friends. The answer I came up with was: it was all God's prefect timing. It was God tugging on my heart and sending me to my friend when my friend needed someone the most. Some people might think I'm crazy when I say I can really feel or realize when the Spirit of God is tugging or pushing at my heart. I like to say God has given me that kind of discerment and when you follo...

         "We Love because He (God) first Loved us."          I have so many entries to write still but this one has to be the other longest and the others can be short. This entry is another story I promised about the way God is showing me that unconditional love can be given and/or received. I will try to tell it the best I can with out giving out any names or situations that has happened recently but doubt if I can do that especially with the situation part.          One of my friends has this business/ministry/ TV show that he runs and is the founder of. It has been going on for about 4 years and it encourages me a lot to go after my own dream because everything he is doing was his dream to start with. It has to do a lot with huntin' and to make this story even more interesting I will say I had my doubts like any other person but that is when I was still in college and I didn't want it to happen because he ...