Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

         I am going to put a disclaimer on this entry right now. I am writing because I feel like God has been teaching and reminding me what love truly is because of things going on in my life. It might be different then yours and that is okay. It just came at a strange time and moment. Take it how you want it but please just know I'm sharing from what I'm going through now and it isn't to match up with anything going on in the world right now though it might seem like it could. This is something God has put on my heart before this past week.         I have 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 on my bathroom mirror for this next coming month. I always try to put different verses that the Lord is teaching me through so I can memorize them and they can get me through the day. For me, I love the Love Chapter. It has been my favorite chapter since the day that I could read the Bible by myself but that doesn't stop me from learning from it. It has just been rec...

         I had a talk with one of my little boys that gave me a look into how little boys are be raised and I just wanted to write it out so I can remember it. I was talking to one of my little boys because he didn't want to go to nap time. He was trying to push limits about not going to nap but I tried the trick that usually works with most children. I said, "Sleeping will make you big and strong." I was hurt by his response more then anything and it made me think a lot.           His first response was "I don't want to be big, I want to stay little." Then I was like, "okay" and thought that a little one saying that wasn't anything new because I want to stay little too. Life is fun when you are a child. It was his next response that got me hard though. I told him, "Okay, then you can just be strong." His response was," I don't want to be strong" and I asked him why. He responded, "When I am strong at home, I get a...

           To set the storyline up for you all, I had a hard work day yesterday so I went to a park last night and acted like a child for once. There were fireflies all around as I was swinging on a swing and to my luck a lot of people I knew were at the park but they were far off in the distance. I came home and read something that talked about if you give your friends so distance when they ask for it that is better for them and that got me thinking about this entry and what has been going on in my life right now. There might be a poem with the same title in the next few days so watch for that.            I am a very deep and compassionate person and when I become friends with someone or even barely get to know someone sometimes I tend to cling to them a little too much if we are a lot alike even if they don't know it. We all have that friend that we count on for everything and to be there with us through everything. I have h...

           My Monday this week, which was today (actually a Tuesday) was not bad at all at work. It was calmer then I left it but we had a lot of things going on. One of the little boys didn't throw his big fits like I thought he would because I haven't been there for 3 days. Thought he had to get use to me again but he didn't. We picked up from where we left off and that was a good place. He wanted me to do things for and with him and he was so sweet when asking.            There was a new staff there because the other staff had a meeting so he was trying to push limits with that staff so bad that I had to take him and yes, I did get bit but he was good after that. I know there are better ways to get the anger out by hey why not. Right? He did look at the bit after he did it and asked me "did it hurt?" and I said "yes" so he kissed it to make it feel better. That was really sweet. Probably the sweetest moment that I have had ...

             Today is Father's Day and I'm thinking about all the fathers or father figures that I have had in my life and where they are today. The sermon at church was about how fathers need to be the leader of the household and how we have one True Father that gives us Mercy and provides for us everyday. I will admit I started to cry because of so many reasons. There was one certain reason that I cried and I didn't think about it until today, until it was too late.            I'm doing a lot for my father this Father's Day because I don't want another one to past by thinking I could have done more then I did. I created every gift that I'm giving my dad this father's day. I made him a big chocolate chip cookie and put icing on it myself. I also made a collage of country pictures on a piece of wood and put words like: love, wise, father, honor, and strong on it. I think I am so much more involved because of what hap...

         Wow! I don't remember having this crazy group of boys since I was working preschool by myself, probably a year ago now and we just had 2 children that were hard to handle. I think it was an older group of preschoolers too. Now we have a younger group of preschool boys and 2 babies and 3 toddlers. I'm going to say this has nice as I can but only 3 out of the 8 preschools are "normal". The other preschoolers are not quite where they should be mentally or really rough because of what they have been though.          I have prayed more for children in this group more then any other group because it is just that hard. We have a toddler that cries non stop just because and then we have 2 more toddlers that have seperation anxiety so you can't got out of eyesight with them. If you do, they will start to cry and it takes them awhile to stop. Then we have two babies. One that is bottle fed and the other one just started on table food whe...

Verses that are rewritten or closely rewritten in this poem:      Romans 5:5      Romans 8:24-25      Romans 15:13      Hebrew 11:1      Proverbs 24:14 Hope is not shameful, God's Love has been poured into our hearts because the Holy Spirit has been give to us. Jesus died so we could have Hope. We were powerless before then. Hope saved us but we cannot see it. Who hopes for what they already have? When hope and wait patiently for what we do not have to see what God can do for us with His strength, not on our own strength. God, that gives us hope , will fill us with all joy and peace when we trust in Him. We will overflow with Hope because of the power of the Holy Spirit that God has put within us. Faith is the confidence in what we hope for and in what we do not see. We can't see what is ahead so we have to trust God to lead us. We have to have the confidence in H...

        Life has been interesting for me since this past Friday. It seems like God really wants to get me out of where I work now and into another place whether a church job or just staying at home and doing something part time. I can't say anything about what happened Friday because it might get used against me and I know better then that so I'll go straight on to Saturday. Just know Friday was a really hard and depressing day at work.            It was a normal Saturday for me. I was rethinking my job because they told me to do that and spending a lot of time with God because Friday was so hard. I was trying to understand where God wanted me and if I should stay. Why is God letting this happen? It is time for me to move on. I was just writing down verses that came to mind and praying and listening to God until it was time to go to church. I decided I would go to the 5:00 service because the sermon was on marriage and there was no frie...

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans  I have for you,” declares the  Lord , “plans to prosper  you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.           Funny how some things work out. How God is teaching you the same thing as someone else and the verse that you have heard forever just hits you in the way it needs to in that moment of life. I was reading a college friend's email and watching the show when this verse was on the email and it just hit me in all directions like it never has before. I just thought that I would write about what this verse means to me know in this moment in my life. I always tend to think of this verse as the graduation verse and most of us do because it is on every graduation present but there is so much more meaning behind it.             I've been hurting a lot both emotionally and physically because working with children especial...

        "Breathe"? What do you think of when you just hear that word? "Sabbath"? Another word to think about and figure out what it really means. Wait! One more word: "Rest". These words seem to not be in my mind at all especially lately with everything going on and changing around me. God meant for the "Sabbath Day" to be a day of rest. He had a day of rest after He finished with Creation so He wanted us to have one at the end/start of our work week and get ready for what's ahead.         The study is in Springdale and I got invited to go by one of my friends earlier in May. There are 4 of us that car pool to the house where the study is and my friend knows the lady that is in charge of it. The study has a video to watch and then it has a book of questions to go over after the video and then a whole week worth of lessons for 5 weeks. It is suppose to help us look at how to rest and find time with God mainly on the Sabbath.       ...

        "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him."-Psalm 127:3 (NIV)         " Don't you see that children are God's best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy?"-Psalm 127:3 (MSG)              I had the sweetest talk with one of my little girls today that I will never forget and I'm writing it down because it encouraged me to the max. It also made me see that maybe I do give these children hope in their lives and the appearance of God even if it is just for 45 days. It all started when another staff was looking for 4 leaf clovers with most of the children while they were playing outside. She helped this little girl find one and the little girl just had to come over and show it to me after she was done looking for it. I was over by the swings pushing another child so she stayed there and wanted me to push her on the swings so I did. She came over saying, "I'm a lucky g...

           Today was one of those days that were just full of surprises and gave me more things to do this week when I had nothing to do. God always has a way to fill up your week if you would just let Him or even if you don't, He still will. It was one surprise after the other for me. Surprises where it made me understand things more clearly and gave me a sight into things. He is MY COMFORTER AND GUIDE.           I started out the morning by just getting up like usually but I was bored after I got ready for the day so I decided to get on my college email account and see if there was anything important for me. There wasn't per say just for me but I did find out a lot more about the college and what I can do there. I found out that I could get a part time job there is I wanted to and make some money while going to classes but it is all through a work study way. It is mainly office jobs. Then I found out that I could get some scholar...

         This entry is not going to be very long but I mainly wanted to write it down for me so I could remember it in the years to come because it was so special to me. I "got" called old but it was still fun. It all started when I took one of my little boys to the doctor for an appointment. We were waiting in the back room for the doctor to come in and while we were waiting the little boy was sitting on the step of the bed. He was anxious about seeing the doctor and I could tell because he couldn't sit still and his fingernails kept making noises on the sandpaper like step that he was sitting on.          The noise that he was making was hurting my ears so I grabbed a receipt out of my purse so  he had something else to keep his hands busy with because he could crumble or fold it. Whatever he wanted to do with it and it work for a little while and he was trying to do things with it. I don't think he understood all the way, he wou...

         I like house sitting/dog sitting because it seems like I'm willing to take the time and do more things like staying up without a nap until bedtime and getting a lot more done. This is the 3rd time in a row that I have wrote in my blog and it has been awhile since I've done that, a long while. This entry is going to be about a chat I had with a older and wiser friend over coffee today and it was really neat to listen and learn things about me. It was also really neat to see her confirm things about me that I already knew but had a hard time with. She made me see that I was really doubting myself and we all have our ways of seeing and thinking about things differently.          I met this women at a bible study and we made a time to go get coffee together. It was the 2nd time but at least we got to do it. She asked me to get together with her because I was crying during one of the Bible study. During that Bible study, things just...

        I'm going to talk a lot about Saul and Job this month and being single and where my life is leading because that is what I'm thinking a lot about right now. I'm a lot like Saul and Job right now. I will start with Saul. It is amazing how God can pick a wealthy person like Saul for an important job but yet Saul can't see how important it is for God and people. He just thinks it is another job on thing in life.        Why do you think Saul thinks it is no bigger deal that he is going to be king? Could it be because his Core beliefs are in the wrong place? What is Core beliefs you might ask? These are the questions that you can ask about your core beliefs: Who do I believe God is?, and Who do I see other people as?. Beliefs are the lends of the heart but yet often our mind and heart are disconnected. How much could I agree with that more? I know my mind controls me a lot of times when it should be my heart controlling me. An example of core ...

         As always, I've had another busy past week and weekend but it was a good busy one. I got to go home this past weekend and it was a much needed time of rest and just to reconnect with people that I haven't connected with in a long time. I went to a small town from the country to getting sick. So in this 3 days weekend it I gave myself, I've done a lot. I called it a weekend with a life story because if I think about it I went through the 3 phases of life in some of my favorite places and not so favorite places from childhood. I went to the start of life to living the dream to the end of life and it was neat to see different people in those different times of life. Got me thinking where am I right now? The answer to that, I think, is the living the dream part and finding out what that is for me.          I will start explaining my weekend by talking about a friend's wedding that I went to and that was the start of a new beginning...