Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

     I just wanted to say that I'm starting my 2nd year at the job I'm at now. Nothing big but something strange did happen yesterday. My co-worker said, "I went home and thought last night about how we are making it through and it must take some very spiecal people to do this." We are short handed at our job for now. I was thinking, "It was and is God's grace and strength and love that gets me through everyday here. It's what got me through a year here." I just found that so rewarding after a year that someone would say that it takes speical people to do our job and it does. I've been told over and over for 8 years that it takes someone speical and with enough patience to work with preschool aged children. That was enough encouragement me to get more through another year! :) Plus the encouragement I got from my small church group this past Sunday about how I was doing something important and how they would like to have my job. I'm in the rig...

        I love my kiddos at work and are there for them no matter how hard work gets through the years. I say that because it is something I have to remind myself everyday and today is my one year anniversy that I have been at my "new" job.  It was funny because I learned an important life lesson from one of my kiddos yesterday and it seemed to be at the right time. Don't you love when God does that?        The lesson was, summed up in one sentence, "When you say yes in life you will have a positive outlook on it because if you say no then you will be sad all the time." Mind you. This is from a 5 year old little boy that has been in foster care. Here is the whole story/convo. I had with him yesterday and how that saying came about:         I asked him, "Is it okay if you drink out of a sippy cup just for tonight at supper?" The little boy said, "Yes, I will be happy with everything you guys give me. I will kee...

                    "When children go back to their parents that do not watch over them at all and doesn't even care for them most of the time, what does that say about adults when we won't go to a Loving Father and trust Him with everything when He is the Perfect and Holy One."-Tiffney Wilson         I came up with this thought when I was praying. God seems to put those right children and moments in my life when I need them the most and He has a way of getting me to take those children's moments and turning them into a Godly lesson for my life like He did with this one last night. I was putting my little girls to bed when one of them started to talk about her mommy and how she missed her.           It was hard at first because I was putting the other little girl to sleep because she is one where if you leave her side she will sit straight up and not go to sleep. When the lit...

       This week has fit my blog title well and so have my experiences strangely enough. It's been a hard time for me at work and in my personal life this week. Get those two things together and nothing goes right. That's how I felt this week. I felt like I failed a lot more then one time. I was the only one in preschool working and after day one being by myself. I felt like I was doing every little thing wrong. I would fill something out wrong or forget to do something and so on but never once would I get a thanks for working during this hard time. I know I don't do my work for man but it would be nice every once in awhile espically when it is really hard.          If those two days weren't enough to make me feel like a failure, let's add another situation in to where I'm suppose to feel safe and smart and actully thought I was going to have a reasonable day into the week. If I didn't feel like much of a failure after working two days by my...

        I have the personality of a "Helper". What is that, you might ask. It is where a person likes to be behind the leader or other people. I see that more clearly at work now this week then I ever have. I guess because in a way I am by myself and seeing how much I have to remember and do by myself. I've always work with someone or been an assistant to someone. I feel bad that I have that kind of personality but in a way it is a good thing to have.          I keep reminding myself when I get really down about who I am that someday I will be glad that I'm just the Helper and more importantly that God made us, women, that way to start with. I'm not saying that a woman should get stepped on all over. I'm seeing more and more that for me, personally, I'm a Helper and like it that way. I don't like to come up with ideas all the time or handle things espically big things all the time. I'm not that person at all. Maybe it's because I don't ...

        I have been thinking about my dream a lot lately and the kind of landscape that I want for it and the buildings I want on that landscape. I never have put that kind of thought into until I noticed I was driving past it on the way to work and from work on the way home when it was snowing. Funny how God brings things to your attention when you don't think about it or put two and two together.          I have always wanted something out in the country whether it is my house or business. I'm half country girl and I intend to stay that way and give children the same experience that I had as a child in the country because it is unforgettable. Of course, I had great people to copy too. :) The landscape is in the country with some land. Maybe 6-11 acres? I've always wanted to start a preschool or daycare of my own too. So maybe a preschool school building or any school building for that matter? Then, of course, you have to have a house ...

        I'm not going to write the verses out because there are 34 of them and this would make a really long entery so I'm just going to say it in my own words and then what it means to me. If you would like to look it up you can.         These are the chapters that Jesus uses to teach so they are stories and illustrations. Most of us, if we grew up in a Christian home, have heard these stories over and over and we know what they mean but I was studying them this week and got a new point of view on them. These are the stories of the farmer scattering the seeds, illustration of the growing seed, and the illustration of the mustard seed. I found these stories to be interesting as I thought about the fields which the seeds were in and how they grew. To me, the 3 different seeds that the farmer planted, means that we have to have good grounds with the people we are trying to reach or nothing will happen.          ...

God, I'm letting you handle this one On your own. I tries to handle the Last one on my own and you saw How that turned out. It turned out A mess and I never could get it Back together. God, I'm letting you handle this one. I really care about this one. He Deserves my respect because he Has given some to me. I don't want To do anything dumb or break his Heart in anyway. He is a special One to me. God, I'm letting you handle this one. You really know how I feel about Him. I really think he is the one Because he is all I ever wanted and He was right there for me when I Needed him to be. God, I'm letting you handle this one. You are better at things like this then I am. You have my future planned out For me and it may involve him or may Not. You know for sure so that is why I'm letting you handle this. God, I'm letting you handle this one. I do not want to lose him like I did The last one.I actually care about him More and he seem...

        I've been thinking a lot lately about the country and the farm. Everything I do or think I have thought about in a country way whether it is Bible verses or children. The Bible verses will come later. The next entery or the one after next. Anyways, I've gotten really close to this little boy at my work and he loves the farm. His grandparents sent him two stuffed cows and all he talks about is the farm with me. He has cows, chickens, one rooster, and he said something about pigs too. When he talks about the farm or his grandpa's farm, he has the biggest smile on his face. When he got the two stuffed cows, he smiled so big. It was so neat to see.           It is so strange how I can relate to children like that the best. I know and believe that the farm and country is great for the children espically in hard situations. Maybe it is big I started out the 1st four years of  my life on one. He said, last night, that he want...

      Yesterday at work really touched me like I needed it too along with the beautiful weather and the outside time that we got to have after 4 days of not having it. It was also so strange too because it seemed like every time I talked to a child it was about a farm or a country but I got to hear one of the stories of my kiddos that left my job and went to another home. The child's parents called and told us that she was thankful for what we did with her child and he seemed really happy where he was.         It gives me hope and purpose every so often when I hear good stories about "my" children being happy and well cared for.  This little boy was living on a farm and was too busy to talk to his parents when they called because he was chasing geese. He has a little brother. He has started Kindergarden. It is just a blessing when we get to hear stories like that and it is nice for the parents to call us back and see the difference in t...

Upside Down Girl I’m an upside down girl. Some of you might be asking, “What is that?” I’ll tell you what That is. An upside down girl is a girl focused On God. She doesn’t care about this World like most people do. Her care For it is more Real and Genuine. An upside down girl doesn’t care Of her clothes are not in style or If she is on the right diet. It’s the Inside that counts. An upside down girl will argue To try and get her point across. Yet she will listen to others and Take in what they have to say. She Will try and stop what’s ahead of Her because she is scared of it But she won’t be able to because God is working it. An upside down girl loves God with All of her heart. She will do whatever It takes to live for Him. She will listen To Him. She might be part of something Big He has planned but she won’t know Until she takes her eyes off of this world And put them on Him. She hangs out with The orphans, homele...

      This is part 2 and the end of the story I started at the start of this past week. The first part is called "Girl in the Woods-Part 1".               All this time while the fight for who she truly was, woods or city girl, was going on there was a deer standing in the woods behind her doing its own thing while waiting for her to come back to the woods where she belonged. After talking to the rabbit, she knew she needed to go back to the woods where she belonged and make boundaries to stay there. While she was making the boundaries, her deer was there to talk to, encourage, and to throw ideas off of. Along with the 100 stars in the sky that faithful night and every other night after that. While all of this was going on the girl would add one star a night to the sky wherever she was.          The End for now because that is all I have written on paper. Sorry this entery is so short. I thought it w...

        I should have never taken that snow day off on Monday. I'm thinking way too much now and that is scary. A lot is going on in my life and I won't put it all on here because I'm really at the point where I'm asking myself along with everyone else asking me "What are you planning to do with you future after this?" That is probably the worst question to ask me even is even worse then "Why are you still single?". That won't hit me for another 3 or 4 years. Why would the career question hit me before the single question?         I'm a person who likes to think she has everything under control and everything is going as to plan but it isn't right now. I want to see it in full picture but I can't right now. My life, right now, feels like it is out of control because I'm doing nothing to make anything happen. I feel like I'm just sitting and waiting which is wrong because I know I'm making an impact at work but personal li...

         I've been writing a lot lately because of this winter weather I've stayed home and have to get up early and I'm done with everything early.  This morning I was saying my prayers and praying for some people when I had a thought come though my mind because I see it in their lives as they get bigger with their dreams and goals. Ever heard the saying. "When you reach your dream, make a new one."? Well, that is what I see my friend doing and somehow I want to do that too. If you do that your life is never dull or boring. It might not be perfect but that is not important.           I've seen my friend start out small and grow bigger every year with new things and new ways of doing things. My friend would keep adding things just to keep it new and fresh. It was still the same passion and the same thing but only more was added to it because it started slowly to see where and how it would go with God every step of the way. It ...

      Once upon a time there was this girl that moved in the woods all by herself with her dreams and goals. Dreams of being a preschool teacher and teaching at one of the biggest preschool for 5 years and being married by the age of 25. Goals that were unbelievable. She thought, "I won't be in these woods for long so I can play and mess things up." She told herself before she moved into the woods, "If I stay here for 5 years, then that is a sign that I'm pretty much going to stay there for good or at least for a little while more. " She lived there, for the first 2 years without any life boundaries and then something happened in the 3rd year that hit her and made her realize something.        She needs to make life boundaries now before she moves on or her life will be out of control if it isn't already and go nowhere. She thought all about it has she looked back at the past years in the woods. When she 1st moved to the woods she did it because ...

       This is the 100th entery on this blog and it came just in time for me to write about the 100 children I have touched within a year at work. The title of this entery is "Fill My Cup" because that is what I have been feeling like the Lord has been doing in my life this past year. He is filling up my cup more then I can handle but I love a challenge like that.         I have paper stars on my wall with each of the childrens' names on a star after they leave and I've only reached a 100 children in a year. These are abused and negetled children here in the states that I'm working with. God "fills my cup" everytime I get a new group of children because I have to relearn everything and see what works for this group. Sometimes there are some kids that are more then I can handle because it could be mostly a group of 3 year olds but then it could mostly be a group of 4 and 5 year olds which is easy. Maybe a cup with the words "Fill My Cup" shou...

        I'm loving the book of Ecclesiastes right now more then ever and that I have to say is my favorite book because of chapter 3 and it was my Grandma's favorite book and those verses in chapter 3 was her favorite verses. I have looked a lot at this book over and over just because it fits my life right now and it keeps fitting. I first looked at it to remember my grandma by but then I started seeing more of those verses in my life and how I wanted to live. I got to looking at my grandma's life and that is how I want to live too so I put one and one together and firgured if I live by these verses and remember and look back at them every so often that they will stick with my but most importantly my grandma will stick with me.          The part of this book that is getting to me now in this new year is that "Everything is meaningless". I know that sounds like a negtive way to look at things in life but when you really look at it the wa...

       I just wanted to introduce people to a hunting show that one of my guyfriends put on himself. This past fall was the first season for TV on the HuntChannel but it is his third year doing the shows. The shows are called "The Huntin' Ground". He has been putting them on youtube and his own website for that long. The show is all about hunting, youth, family, traditions, and most importantly God.  He does it along with 4 other guys and they all do a great job and has hunting as their passion. I know the host from college and seen this dream of his, if not the beginning, close to the beginning getting started. The website to see the shows is: www.thg-tv.com. His show is on tv in the Fall but he has clips of them on the website. He even does some plot and deer management so he has some clips of those throughout the year too. He has a Facebook Page too. It is called "The Huntin' Grounds". Please go like his page and watch the videos on youtube or their websi...

      Yesterday's post didn't make much sense and I'm thinking about deleting it but as I was rocking my little boys to bed last night I was thinking about somethings a friend of my said years ago, ok well maybe not years ago, but now it would be 4 years ago. I changed the name of my blog because things in my life are changing in every which way and the name descibes it perfectly whether I'm by myself or at my job. I see things more clearly now thanks to my job.        The saying that the title is part of is this one: "Life is not always perfect but who would want that. If that was the case, then we would have boring lives." At first when you read it, you might think God never gives us a boring life. That is true. God works with us and we are messed up. We are no way, sorry to say it perfect people. We have sinned and will keep sinning. We plan out this what we think is our perfect life and then God comes in and turns the whole thing around. We w...

      Let's see. What did I get done last year? I got a job that I love and still working at it by happy about 100 children. I also helped my parents move closer to me. That's about it on the good part of it. This is is going to be more then that happening on the good side. I know who I am now and I'm trusting God all the way because I have no idea what is in store for me after He has worked in my life this past year. Things have changed a lot for the good and the bad and it is mostly because of my job but I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.        My main goal this year is to let God have control and just be me in Him. I realized why try to be something that I'm not. I love my job but has always I feel like there is something more for me this year that is bigger and better. I can tell you two things I do plan on looking at bigger apartments and learning to shoot a hunting gun or bow. Other then that, I have no idea what God has for me th...