Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

Dear Daddy,             I read something in my devo. yesterday morning that really stuck with me and hit my heart. The saying/phase was, "Hold fast to Me, Beloved, for I am Your Life."  It is just a good reminder for me while all my friends are getting married and having relationships. It reminds me that You love me as Your Beloved. You care for me that way too. It also reminds me that you're my Life and my Everything. I really don't need anything more. I should just be able to enjoy Your Presence. For You to sty my Life, I need to Hold Fast to You and do that tightly and never let go. I want this phase to be brought to my mind when I think about negative thoughts about me and life. I want it to be an everyday occurrence. My theme for life. I want people to see that too in my life. In Jesus' Name,              Amen

            It is strange because I still want to write in my blog but it is like I don't need to do it right away. That is a good thing though because it means I am getting less and less anxious about things. It means that I don't need to let my thoughts out like I use to and if I do I am turing to the Right Person, instead of random people. Like this entry, this happened Friday but I kept putting it off til now. I was thinking about not writing about it but then it hits me. Maybe someone needs this little encouragement about supporting a friend or the one they love? Here I am writing about what happened Friday morning while at work.            I will try to be clueless about the person but it might be a little hard. It all started because I have this decal on the back of my car to support a friend of mine and the work that they do. My co-worker said, "I have noticed that decal on the back of your car and it makes me think th...

  "Anxiety is an illness that takes away life."            Now most people would agree with that saying but what people might not agree with or some will and some won't is what I am about to say next. I call this entry a part 2 because I feel like I have written another entry with the same title but it had a different perspective. If I did write one with the title it was when I was on my meds. It is strange how meds. that are suppose to help with a cause can make the cause worse and I think that is what has happened to me over the years of taking anxiety meds. On every one of my anxiety meds., especially the "cheap" ones, I find anxiety and depression as a side effect of the meds. I don't know how many people it actually affects as a side effect but I think for me it did.            I know I have only been of my meds. completely for about a month now but I feel so different. I feel like I felt in college again. It feel...

"Yeah, I want it to be the best possible and the connection sometimes gets annoying." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Best-       -of   the   highest   quality,   excellence,   or   standing        -most   advantageous,   suitable,   or   desirable. Perfect-          -conforming   absolutely   to   the   description          -definition   of   an   ideal   type or  entirely   without   any   flaws,   defects,   or   shortcomings. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~               In today's world a lot of people want the best of everything or the perfect things but really what does that mean? I put the meanings of the words in this entry because I wanted to see if ...

         This is a prayer from Proverbs 31 Ministries. It was a prayer at the end of one of their First 5 devo. I am just writing this prayer down so I won't forget it in the long run. Dear Daddy,            Thank you for my earthly husband. I pray that You will help me make sure that he knows that I love him, desire him, and respect him. Open my eyes to see his wonderful qualities and my mouth to speak admiring words. May our love continue to grow deep and our passion remains strong. And God, thank you for my heavenly Bridegroom, Jesus. I look forward to our wedding feast that is yet to come. In Jesus' Name,               Amen

             "If God wants you to, kind of, kill that buck or for it to be happening the way it should, then you will have that opportunity, especially if you have prepared for it and prayed for it. So when I go into hunt, I just know that if it doesn't work out, it's not meant to be. I'm going to get back out into the woods and keep going.             "Live and Learn."-Should be a teacher's motto. Not from a teacher but from a person with teachers in the family.                            "I have done everything I can up til this point. If it's going to work out right. If not, it's just not meant to be. Too many times it hasn't worked out the way I thought it would but I had that Peace. It seems like always something bigger and better comes along. That God had planned for me and I had no idea. It happens better then I ever expected it." ~~~~~~~~~...

            One of my main goals and why is this is: I want my anxiety gone and not to worry about my money. I started Plexus a year ago just to lose weight. That was my one goal but like so many others I didn't see change right away so I stopped. I also stopped because it was costly and I didn't know how I could afford it. I was in between jobs and just didn't know what to do. I wasn't for sure about the other products either. I only did the Triplex and that is the only think I tried. I didn't give Plexus the chance back when I first joined. I also became an ambassador because the products cost less but that still didn't help me.              I came back to Plexus when I heard they came out with some pills that can help with stress and anxiety. That is when I got back on track with Plexus. My future depends on my health and if I couldn't get my anxiety under control and/or gone then I wouldn't have the life that I have a...

      Dear Daddy,                 It is nothing new that a man wants something to be the best. It is in their nature. You made them the leader of life and if things are not as good as they can be then they feel like they are losing or not enough. They have that drive but it can be too much at times on themselves. They can try too much and hard to have things the way they want them especially in a relationship that they might lose it. Patience in this will go along ways too. They have to be reminded that not everything has to be the best. They can mess up at times and maybe if they do, women can support them better. Sometimes I wonder about that attitude in guys not just for things but for relationships too. I pray that my future husband will know that he doesn't have to prove to be the best for me or anyone at all. No matter how things go, he will always be my Second Best and that is what matters in a relationships. I know for me...

          I'm just amazed at my life right now! The Vitalbiome from Plexus is helping my so much. Yet at the same time so is God or I can see Him more in life. It is still hard to explain for those of you who don't understand. Today was the first field trip I had without my co-teacher. I had a floater but it was also her second day on the job.            The field trip was to the Gardens of the Ozarks in Fayetteville so it was a long drive. It was also a busy morning before we went. We had an art lab and lunch right after that. We took our backpacks with us because somewhere in between I had to put sunscreen on them before we left. The art lab was something my aged kids couldn't do so that was hard. It was writing a script like thing for a motion picture movie. I had to do half of art and put sunscreen on by myself because the other teacher was on lunch break. We left for the trip and I will...

            Patience isn't one of my strong suits. Never has been and probably never will be. It is just one of the flaws that I have. A lot of people might think I have patience but that is because they see me at my job and not when I am away from it. I have learned to have patience with other people and children but not with myself. I want to control things so bad in my life that patience can just blow out the window sometimes. Last night's sermon made me realize that I do have some pretty awesome patience people around me and always have. This entry will be a little copy of the sermon and then about the people that have patience.             Patience can mean a lot of things and can be used in different ways. If you want to look and use another word for patience, you could use words like long-suffering, slow to anger, and endurance.  I liked it when my pastor said it this way: "Patience isn't born, it is made" and how...

            These past few weeks, 3 to be exact, are usually the hardest for me and then seemed like they were going to be harder this year for some reason but everything turned out okay. Why you might ask? I really believe it is because the health pill (probiotic) that I am taking. Now I know some of you might say I am insane to believe that a pill like this works and that I should trust God more and I don't disagree with you on any of that. Some of you might say I can't afford it or that it is too much money right now. Let me tell you from a single person perspective trying to live on her own with a low paying job that gives her anxiety everyday, it does really work for me. I will be honest to I am a person who have tried the chemical meds. from drs. and this pill really does help better and is healthier for you then those chemical ones.               I don't fall into a trap because I think it is the in thing. I fall i...

Dear Daddy,              I am done forcing guys to like me or anything on that level. It is just too much work for me. :) I want this like and then love thing to come naturally. I want You in the Center of it orchestrating it all. I want the kind of love that can be handle with wisdom and grace. I want that kind of love that comes from a open heart. No matter who my future husband is I will accept him for who he is and who You made him to be. Messed up past and everything. My future husband needs to know that. We each have our flaws that is why we need You apart and with each other. Daddy, just like Noami said to Ruth, "I will be patient for however long it takes to see what happens." I might regret saying this if things do turn out but for now I honestly pray that my future husband won't rest in feelings or thoughts until he has found me and given me a chance. I want this to be my fighting prayer every day til You bring me my future husband. In ...

Dear Daddy,            I just want to pray for all the man of my generation and below some might be above. I pray that they will have the courage to raise up and serve You in family and work. They need to be transformed by capable man of marriage and commitment. They should not look at their role as they are "helping" their wives but as a part pf everything. It is their house, life, and family too. They are sharing together, not apart. Daddy, now I have a particular story from You. Please show me how to pray given my story. It isn't an easy one. Never has been that is for sure. Wow! Powerful things. Daddy, I Love You first and foremost. I should put that at the start, huh? In Christ's name,                 Amen

         Being it the 4th of July and all, I thought I would write a entry that is about freedom. It isn't about the freedom that we think as a country but it is about the freedom we think about as Christians. It is the freedom we have in Christ, our Lord. It is kind of strange how I came up with a topic because I was thinking about couple of friends' birthdays that are this week after the 4th. One friend's is the 5th and the other friend's is the 6th. Then I got to thinking about my birthday and how it is two days after Christmas and I just thought it made a neat topic to write about so here I am writing about it on the 4th. I also have the day off from work so I am writing while I am not too busy.            I don't know why this topic didn't come to me until now but it is pretty neat once you think about it. My birthday is two days after Jesus' so called birthday or when we celebrate it at least. No one really knows when His bir...

-Psalms 27:1        -" The   Lord   is my light   and my salvation —      whom shall I fear? The  Lord  is the stronghold  of my life—      of whom shall I be afraid?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -John 1:4-13        -" In him was life,  and that life was the light  of all mankind.   5  The light shines in the darkness,  and the darkness has not overcome it. 6  There was a man sent from God whose name was John.   7  He came as a witness to testify  concerning that light, so that through him all might believe.   8  He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 9  The true light  that gives light to everyone  was coming into the world.   10  He was in the world, and though the world was made through him,  the world did no...