Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

        With this entry, I am passing the 12 entries that I have been doing every month but that is okay. That just means I have been thinking a lot more, I guess. I have been thinking about my life and my dream a lot lately. Not only those things but also who I truly am. Why I am so scared to go for my dream and what is stopping me and when I look back it is just foolish.          Let's start way back in high school and those hard times there. I grew up in a small country school where everyone knew everyone. I was the superindentant's daughter and an elementary teacher's kid. I will say, because it was a big part of my life, that all my classmates and I mean mostly all of them either made fun of me or were nice to me because of you I was. I was never a normal person. I also remember them thinking and saying things about how I got away with everything because I was the superindent's daughter and how I needed to go to his office because I cou...

          I am going to tell my age if you didn't already know it with all the other entries. I am a late 90's and early 2000's tween ager and teenager. Therefore, that would explain my love for the show "Hannah Montana" before she became so nuts but that is just my opinion. I have been watching some of the shows on youtube lately because I have nothing better to do with my life and that is how I relax after work. There is this one show that I felt connected with at this moment of my life that I am in right now.         It was the show where Hannah wanted to go back to Tennessee but she didn't want to leave her friend so her dad brought them a ranch in California. She was having to decide between two states but her dad made it easy for her and brought her a ranch where they could live and keep her horse. Right now, if I was honest with myself, like Hannah was in that show, I am fighting between two states too. I wish my states were those two...

          This is my 500th entry on this blog so I hope I make it sound like that. I had two more that I had to chose from but hopefully I can get those done this week sometime. The title and this entry is important to me because it shows that I am growing in Faith and in Love with my Heavenly Daddy everyday. I have been put in situations recently that has shown me a lot about what Grace really it and how other people actually see it. I know I just wrote about what a leader really is in my last entry but I feel like God is wanting me to be that leader in what I do now.          Anyways, that whole other leader talk will have to wait for another entry too. I am here to answer "What does Grace look like to someone else outside of the Christian world?" The situation even made me love the verse about Grace even more then I did before and this verse is what I thought of when I was in the situation.            ...

         Being a leader is different then being a listener. If I had to chose one, it would be being a listener but some of you already knew that because that is my mins personality. It is hard to change from a listener to a leader especially if you have been one your whole life but I am learning. I'm going to write about what I think a leader is and then what a listener is as well.           A leader is a person who shows and tells people what to do. The person is in charge of everything and everyone. You have more on your shoulders then anyone else. You have to know how to talk and talk nicely at a fast and busy pace. You have to think on your feet and know what you are going to say right off the bat. Yet there are different kinds of leaders and I might be able to do some but not all. I would like to run my own business some day and be in charge of everything just because I know what I what and having something you made from the groun...

" Today is a blank page. Yes, there are some things that need to be written in, and you could surrender your pen to them, letting events, exceptions, tests, and the judgements of others write this chapter. Or, you could take some time with God, that author and completer of your Faith and start writing today as the adventure He shows you it can be."-Rob Coscia  "My heart is overflowing with a good theme as I recite my composition for the King. My tongue is the pen of a ready writer."- Psalm 45:1 " You are the most excellent of men      and your lips have been anointed with grace,      since God has blessed you forever."-Psalm 45:2         I found this saying with this 1st verse on  Facebook and thought it explained my love for writing and my blog perfectly. It is my new description on my blog if you look under the title of my blog. I also love the verse that goes with it. I would have never found that...

Dear Daughter, You see your weakness and you crumble to the ground. Covered in the weight and fear of all consuming sound. It’s the voice of your adversary feeding every misconstrued lie. He whispers “You are NOTHING” hoping to discourage you to fight. You lay there for a second contemplating if any of this is true, that you’re weak. Not valued. You’re beyond fearful too. You can’t see past the darkness, to the light of my truth. But listen closely daughter, I will show you how to move. Get up and STAND FIRM with your armor set in place. Lift high your head daughter, you are a WARRIOR in my name. Wrap the BELT of TRUTH tightly around your waist with your BREASTPLATE of RIGHTEOUSNESS firmly in its place. Strap your SHOES tightly, walk confidently in my PEACE. Raise up your SHIELD of FAITH to deflect your enemy. The HELMET of SALVATION is your security in Christ. SAVED and SEALED by the blood, bought with a precious price. Now grab your SWORD of the...

         I know I have't wrote in a long time and I am sorry about that. I just had a busy week this past week with long working hours and then coming home and sleeping it off. My body hasn't been its normal self either and I'm trying to figure that out so altogether it has been a pretty busy week. I have also been writing in another journal for my health instead of this one because that is important and that takes time too. This entry is going to be about the Saturday I needed after a long work week.          I had a prefect Saturday yesterday and a memorable one too.  I met my family at Roaring River and went fishing for about 3 hours. It was an outing for my dad's birthday, which is today. Everyone one was almost there expect 1 sister and her family, my sister in law, and some of the nieces couldn't make it either. That place has been in the family for years and everyone in the family as learned to fish there one way or another....

"I keep my eyes always on the  Lord .  With him at my right hand,  I will not be shaken.  Therefore my heart is glad  and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead   nor will you let your faithful one  see decay.  You make known to me the path of life you will fill me with joy in your presence   with eternal pleasures  at your right hand."- Psalm 16:8-11 (NASB) "Let us acknowledge the  Lord ;      let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises,      he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains,      like the spring rains that water the earth. ”                  - Hosea 6:3 (NIV)              God has given me these verses this past week. I got the verses out of Psalm by my prea...

         Today is the start of the 3rd year that I have been writing about my life in this blog. That means that this blog is the longest one that I have kept going, if you don't count my prayer journals. I have kept them since the start of my college years and still going with them. To be honest, I do look back and read some of the entries that I have read over the past years. They are just great reminders of what I have been through and to where I am headed.           Whether I read this on the computer or from my copied ones, they encourage me everytime I read them. I started this blog after a year of living in AR and since then AR has been my life and an adventure for me. If you have kept up with this blog, you could tell that it is really an adventures with all the crazy things going on, hard times, and what God has been teaching me throughout the years. It seems like my life is only getting better, which is a great thing. As I go ...

         "You, Christians." Never thought I would hear those words in my life but I was oh, so wrong after yesterday. Sadly, it came from a person that I work with. I won't tell you everything about her but she seems to be really doubtful of Christians. She even told me once, "I believe in God but I don't go to church." Now with the response she made yesterday, I can see sort of why she doesn't go. She shoves it off like it is no big deal but to me I think it really is to her. She is different when she comes to her beliefs about things.             She dinfantly does put all Christians in the same group. She doesn't understand that not all of us are the same but yet if she was let down by one Christian then she is let down by all others. I don't know her full story on why she doesn't go to church but the more I talk to her the more it seems like she is feels like she is being judged by the Church and that is not how we are suppose ...

         April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. I will be honest with you all. I did forget about it until the 1st of April and that is when everything popped up on Facebook about it. To be honest, I kind of, did what to forget about it because I'm not in a spot where I can serve or work with those type of children right now. Then I have been thinking about if for the past 5 days and thought that I could write about how I feel now without working with those children. At least, I would be saying something and hopefully make it noticeably to people out there.          I didn't think it would be a big deal or anything about it when I didn't work at the shelter anymore but it does still affect me. I think it affects me still because I still know that there are more children out there then ever that need our help. I still worry about the children that I helped. I wonder where they are today and if they have a better life yet. That chapter of...

"Maybe you don't have extra money but you share from what God provides you. God will reward you, and your home will not want."- Compassion International - Oliberto Morales Hernandez-Jenny Beb's pastor          I have to remember the title off and on especially when I am down and out at times. It helps me with my anxiety and worry. It reminds me that "God will provide for His ways at His time". I really rush things here and there or I want to rush things but I remember that it isn't up to me. If it was, things would go really wrong and they have went wrong before. That's how I learned this lesson. It just hit me more when I was reading a letter from my Compassion International child's pastor. He ended with the above saying. It kind of got me thinking about sponsoring another child from there too.          I might not have the extra money that I need for life or even to sponsor another child but what is more important. Money or th...

"Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."-Proverbs 31:11-12 "She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls." -Proverbs 31:15 "She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night." -Proverbs 31:17-18 "She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspread. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders."-Proverbs 31:20-23 "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in h...