Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

I love all of my memories from the children’s shelter, but if I had to pick my top three, this memory would definitely be one of them. This story is about something simple but very special: a family getting to be together at suppertime. There were six brothers living at the shelter. I cared for the two youngest boys in the preschool wing, while the other four boys stayed in the boys’ wing. At suppertime, all six brothers would come together in the regular shelter dining room. They had their own round cafeteria table where they could sit together, eat, and enjoy spending time with one another. One of my coworkers worked in the boys’ wing. We supervised the brothers together, taking turns sitting at the table and standing nearby. Most of our attention was on the boys, but I also remember joking around with my coworker a little during that time. For about three months, those six brothers had the opportunity to spend suppertime together as a family. Even back then, I knew there was somethi...

  Five Ways to Rediscover Discernment and Closeness With God  You can begin using the same gifts you loved at the children’s shelter again, in ways that bring peace instead of exhaustion. Ask God for discernment again. Pray: “Lord, help me recognize what matters today and give me wisdom to know when to act.” Notice the little moments. Remember helping children write letters in sand? You were patient, observant, and encouraging. Those are the same qualities you loved using at the shelter. Listen without feeling responsible for fixing everything. Just like a conversation with an old friend in 2014, sometimes one thoughtful question is enough. Make room for quiet reflection. After work, think about one moment when you felt peaceful, useful, or connected to God. Explore work that allows those gifts to flourish. Your interest in occupational therapy makes sense because you enjoy understanding children’s individual needs and helping them develop. A thought to remember: “Discernment ...

               We had a substitute yesterday that taught me a lot about a lot of things but mainly about adults with autism. The substitute became my teacher. With my job and my interest, I have researched autism a thousand times and read up on it and all the things that are going on around it now. I knew there was different levels of autism. I knew what it was like but I never really experienced it like I did yesterday with this sub. I have seen maybe levels 1 and 2 maybe even 3. Everything he did, I have researched and read about. Just never saw it in a person til now.                  The sub was so nice and he wanted to teach the children but he was teaching way above their heads. I heard him trying to talk about boundaries and personal space with a couple of children but those children would just stare at him. He also took his time to explain a whole book to one child. He also cleaned and organized...

"Sometimes the way forward is returning to something that helped you long ago."                That is why I am back to writing in my blog again. I have missed it all of these years and it is crazy that I didn't make time to write things down since I have been married. Things have been crazy this year and I need to find a way to release things and this is one of those ways that I hope to bring back.                I have rediscovered this hobby because of a friend of mine. That friend came back into my life and then went away again but what can you expect, right? Anyways, that friend made me look back at a very important time in my life that I wrote down in here and I learned something very important from that. That lesson is: it is a good thing to write down your life or at least what is happening in your life so you can look back at it and see what you can learn from it later on in life.     ...

 “Sanctification — separation from old to new.” At first you connected that to the changes happening in your life. The old included the difficult ending from ten years ago. You were hurt when a person asked you to stop messaging him. Looking back now, though, you can also recognize that you were sometimes persistent because you cared and wanted answers, while he was going through his own confusing transition after leaving the shelter. You don't know everything that was happening on his side, and you don't need to anymore. Then came May 2026. You unexpectedly saw the same person again after about a decade. At first, it brought everything back—the hurt, questions, memories, and even some anger. You weren't sure whether you were ready to forgive him. But something changed over the summer. By August, your interactions had become simple: “hey,” smiles, recognition, and that big grin you keep talking about. You described it beautifully yourself: his actions became warmer, and you...

You began with your handwritten surrender prayer. As we talked through it, one of the biggest themes became the question: “What do I do with all this caring?” You realized that for much of your life, caring and fixing have been connected: I notice → I care → I feel responsible → I step in → I try to make it better → I carry the outcome. But caring does not always create a responsibility to act. A new question emerged: “Is this for my hands, or is this heart only?” HEART ONLY “Heart only” means something can matter deeply to you without becoming something you have to fix. You can care, pray, hope, and then leave it with God. My heart can love. My heart can hope. My heart can pray. But my hands can stay open. Sometimes “I’ll pray for you” really can mean: “I care about what you are going through, but I recognize that I cannot and should not control it. I will bring it to God.” Prayer isn’t doing nothing. It is choosing not to appoint yourself as the solution. CARE → PRAY → RELEASE Instea...