Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

“We do not take spiritual life seriously if we do not set aside some time to be with God and listen to Him.” - Henri Nouwen “The central point for the discipline of simplicity is to seek the Kingdom of God and the righteousness of His Kingdom first, and then everything will come in its proper order.” - Richard Foster | CELEBRATION OF DISCIPLINES “You will not receive the life you seek by the acquisition of more. Why? Because treasure does not come in acquiring more, but in desiring less.” - GK Chesterton  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Jeremiah 33:3  New International Version (NIV) 3  ‘Call  to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable  things you do not know.’ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Matthew 6:33-The Message  "What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People w...

Reminding myself I am strong. Reminding myself I can do it. Reminding myself I will get through it. Reminding myself there will be a break soon. Reminding myself there is Hope. Reminding myself I know what I am doing and that I am not a failure. Reminding myself that there is a reason for this. Reminding myself all the things that I know. Reminding myself that it will get better. Reminding myself there are worse things out there. Reminding myself to love but be loud as well. Reminding myself that I am not alone because God is by my side all the way. Why am I reminding myself of all these things? So I can get through the hardest things in life. It's sad when you have to keep reminding yourself these things over and over everyday. It wears you out mentally but it needs to be done some days just to get by.

Do You See That Women? Do you see a women or a girl? When you look at me, which one do you see? Do you see a girl? A girl that feels alone and lost? A girl that feels like crying almost every day? A girl that is stubborn and no one can break her? A girl that is quite because she has nothing to say? Do you see that or do you see a women? A women that is strong no matter her life situation? A women that fights for the people she loves? A women that is very independent? A women that loves to be challenged? A women that follows God whole-heartly? Do you see one of those or something else? Do you see a sinful women trying to follow God with all her heart because she is so in love with Him? She wants to make Him happy and no one else. She was meant to be a princess but she is a servant first. She has someone who would die for her and He did just that. Do you see a women that is forgiven and full of Grace? Do you see a women full of Peace? Full of Joy? Full of...

         Dear Daddy,                           I don't know what I would do if I didn't pray to you every night. You are the only one holding me together through all of this. I do need to speak up more. Why do I listen to people? Is this another people pleasing lesson? I just feel like I hide in a mode of pleasing people like if they want me to be someone or do something else I am in that mode. I also feel never happy with just being me when I am in a big group or "important" situations. How can that stop now? It is keeping me from living the life I want to live. How can I change that? I want to be a God Pleaser, not a people pleaser. Help me change. In Christ's name, Amen

           This entry is a part 2 entry to another one that I just wrote and I will get it done today. The sermon from my church today really got to me in all areas of my life. A 30 year old really needed to hear that message when things feel like they are not going her way. Relationships are broken and confusing. Jobs is just wearying her down and seems like there is no more hope for what is going on there with a child. She doesn't want to give up on any child but this child is getting to be too much. The sermon just hit me in all ways today. I needed that encouragement and reminder that there is still hope in the broken things.           I don't want to say a lot about where I am working because I don't want to get in trouble. When you have a child that just breaks out his craziness and there is no way teachers can stop him, you just need hope in that situation for the little boy and for everyone involved in his life. Friday is t...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ John 11   New International Version (NIV) The Death of Lazarus 11  Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany,  the village of Mary and her sister Martha.   2  (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) 3  So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love  is sick.” 4  When he heard this, Jesus said,  “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory  so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”   5  Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.   6  So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days,   7  and then he said to his disciples,  “Let us go back to Judea.” 8  “But Rabbi,”  they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you,  and yet you are going...

          I know it has been almost a week from my Facebook break but I still felt like I needed to write a little bit about what it was like to break from it. Let me tell you, "It was not as hard as I thought it would be." I did kind of slack off and started getting on by the end of the week but for me that was still okay. I learned something from that little break off of Facebook. First, you have to know something about me and it is kind of sad. I live by myself and I don't hang out much because I am tight on money. Because of those two things, I have Facebook up on my computer all the time that I am at home. Grant, I also had a lot to do that week but I saw what I could get done when Facebook wasn't always up on my computer.           My apartment was being checked by the apartment's insurance company so I had to take the time and clean it just a little bit during the week when usually I wait for the weekend to do that. Cleaning my a...

Hymn to a Good Wife 10-31  A good woman is hard to find,      and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve,      and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously      all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,      and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places      and brings back exotic surprises. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast      for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it,      then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,      rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work,      is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skil...

"Prayer catapults us onto the frontier of the spiritual life. It is original research in unexplored territory. Meditation introduces us to the inner life, fasting is an accompanying means, but it is the discipline of prayer itself that brings us into the deepest and highest work of the human spirit… To pray is to change. Prayer is the central avenue God uses to transform us."  - Richard J. Foster | Prayer: Finding Your Heart’s True Home ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Prayer is the expression of the human heart in conversation with God. The more natural the prayer, the more real He becomes to us… prayer is a conversation between two people who love each other."  - Rosalind Rinker | Prayer: Conversing With God ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Prayer produces: - increased PERSPECTIVE of what’s really important. - increased POWER for our relationship with God and others. - increased PA...

            I was going to write about my week break from Facebook but I can do that tomorrow or another time. Right now, I want to talk about the first half of 2018 since it is the 6th month this month. Can't believe it has already been half a year. It has been a hard struggle for me. There has been a lot of changes too fast. I'm not good with changes to start with and I thought I started them all far enough apart but I was wrong. I am struggling in all areas of life. You name it, something is going wrong in that area. Areas like friendships, money, life goals, and other things. I just don't want all of my 2018 to be such a struggle. I don't want to remember my 30th year as a struggle and probably the hardest one yet but the way things are looking for me my 32nd year will be where the good things start if not before then.            God is working in my life. I know that but I just don't know how or why. It would be nice to h...