Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

Dear Daddy,          Mom told me how still when you were in the hospital, you were still showing compassion. You took a couple of donuts one morning and then told mom to give them to the rest of the hospital staff. You wanted mom to get an old coat from home to give to an international nurse because she didn't have one. You really showed a lot of compassion to children during your superintendent years. You also showed compassion to my fiancé and welcomed him into the family. You also showed compassion to me while I tried to do Math sometimes. All I have to say is "Thank you and I want to be just like you in this area and many others."                                     Love Your Little Girl,                                                 Tiffney

November: Compassion Mood Tracker: -Happy: 12 days -Average: 8 days -Lonely: 2 days -Positive: 4 days -Sad: 7 days  -Excited: 5 days Habit Tracker: -Drink Water: 16 days -Say prayers: 10 fays -Eating from HG: 4 days -Write in blog: 6 days Think of a challenge you're facing right now. What would you say to a loved one who was experiencing the same challenges you are ? Answer: It is hard. Really hard. You will start crying for no reason at little things. That's okay. Let those feelings out but don't forget the fun memories that make you smile too. Laugh at them a lot.  Who are the people in your life who shows you the most empathy and kindness? How do they express it? Answer: Mom and Dad. They express it by showing us patience when we don't deserve it. They take care of other kids and people. They show it also by helping us when we need it without expecting anything but that's because we know better and pay them back. Compassion Affirmations: -I am......Loved. -I am.....

-This Christmas: "You can't mess up the blessing, but you can miss it!" Don't miss it! No matter what has gone on in your life this year, the Christmas message can't be missed or the feeling of it! It might be hard for some but we can get through it. Remember the reason for the season! Take a break from all the sadness and rejoice!

Two main words I focused on this month: -Flexibility  -Patience  Mood Tracker: Happy: 13 times Patience: 6 times Fear: 10 times Bored: 5 times Confident: 9 times Productive: 15 times Habit Tracker: Drink water: 10 times Do yoga: 1 time Say prayers: 13 times Eating heathly: 3 times Patience Log: -Was there a moment where you felt more or less Patience? More patience: -Learning how to enroll children -Less people were at Apple Butter Makin Days Less patience: -One kid was a little too wild -Trying to get to dad -Not having papers where they should be October Calendar:  -Oct. 2nd- Went to Andy's at night -Oct. 4th- Ask Vicne to be an usher -Oct. 7th- Ask if Aoife can be flower girl -Oct. 8th- Went home then dad went to hospital  -Oct. 9th- Went to Apple Butter Making Days and had a campfire at my parents' house  -Oct.11th- Dad in hospital  -Oct. 12th- Dad in hospital still -Oct. 15th- Drained fluid from dad's lungs in hospital  -Oct. 16th- Went to deer st...

           I know this is a little late but I just thought of it. I am going to write a letter of gratitude for Thanksgiving but I wrote it way before then. I wrote it last month on the morning my dad passed away. I was sitting on the back porch all by myself looking at the sunrise. Everyone has left for the hospital but I was going later. Here it is what I wished I could have said to my dad and should have:  Dear Daddy,            Don't know what to say but thanks. Thanks for believing in your littlest girl. I know there were times you had to be patience with me. From math to cars. You knew I wouldn't make it in life without those two things. You were there guiding me through every job loss. You were the strength when I didn't have any because I knew I had to make you happy somehow. I knew you were always there for me and you were til the very end. Thank you for everything and all of the memories. Love, Tiffney 

My mom picked this song to play on the video of family pictures at my dad's celebration of life and I couldn't agree more. His life was exactly like this. He had so many scars from all of his cancers, heart problems, and muscle problems but now he is free of them and the pain that they caused. He has a whole new body. It is true that the only scars in Heaven is holding him now. He fought a good fight and ran a good race. He even said that he was finished and I can't blame him. He fought it good and long and over and over again. It is sad for all of us but we know he is in a better place and he had strength to get through everything he needed too. He had that strength because he prayed for it. One saying I will never forget is one that he said at the end of our meal prayers. It was: "May You give us the strength to do Your Will". And I think he felt like he had done it. Even though, he was planning and thinking about other things and living life like he ...

"Lord, give us the strength to do Your Will." That's my dad's ending to every prayer of his. Maybe that is why the Wilson family is so stubborn intimate and extended? I mean you can call it stubbornness or you can call it strength. It all depends on how you know us. That is a saying I'll never forget. I actually need to make a sign and put it on my wall.               Anyways, I have been trying to have strength lately with everything going on from job to wedding to other things. I wont lie, it is hard. Really hard. It has been harder since COVID hit. I am always worrying about something or thinking about the what ifs and I us to do that because of my anxiety but now it has just gotten worse. I've tried not to cry but those are the moments where you have had just too much.             I mean add the words flexible and patience to the word strength and it is like you are carrying the whole world on your shoulders....

Calm: 8 days Lonely: 3 days Anixous: 6 days Love: 4 days Happy: 8 days Bored: 2 days Drink water: 13 days Eat Healthy: 7 days Headaches: 4 days Do yoga: 3 days Write verses: 7 days Take Vit D/outside: 21 days Brush teeth: 12 days August 1: Lighting storm-lighting stuck tree by my parents' room August 7: went tax free shopping for my classroom August 8: brought old books for wedding August 11: start paying photographer for wedding  August 12: found out we were going to only have one preschool room and wasn't mine  August 13: Last day of PD August 15: wrote card for my bridesmaids  August 16: first day of school  August 18: had to get new battery for Car August 20: order save the dates invites August 21: brought some bowls for centerpieces for the wedding August 27: save the dates came in the mail August 28: went to Bed Bath and Beyond and made a wedding list August 31: mailed out bridesmaid cards Things I desire are: -to have a class of my own -2 bedroom apartment -a ...

How Joseph Became the Prince of Egypt  4 views that people far from God need to see in people near to God: 1. GIFTED by GOD         -Gen. 41:14-24 2. LED by the SPIRIT        -Gen. 41:38 3. TRUSTWORTHY in CHARACTER         -Gen. 41:40-41 4. HONORABLE in ALL          -Gen. 41:42 -Matthew 5:16 -"We are just the light reflection of THE LIGHT."            -John 8:12

Through eyes of an American. Worried about tommrow. Yes, I am writing this on Sept 10th so it could actually mean I am worried about the 11th and what will happen. I am also worried about the future tommrows. The tommrows of this free nation. Will all our freedoms get taken away? Will we not be a free nation anymore? Will this nation never go back to "normal" like it was when our grandparents lived? Has this nation forgot about all the wars that were fought? All the lives that were given? Is History going to repeat it self because certain veterans are gone? Through eyes of a Christian. Worried about my freedom to worship. I know. God has gotten me this far in life. What if it comes to no more praying or worshipping a certain way? I pray for strength everyday. I live on prayer and worship songs. What's going to happen if I can't do that anymore? Then what about my servant's heart has a Christian? No missions. No giving away things for free. No Helping anyone becaus...

These were points and quotes from last Sunday's sermon. I also have one verse thats I want to write down. Here are the tips: -We need to be in control or we will be controlled. -Find your limits or your limits will find you. -Slow down before you break down. -Live and leave your legacy.  Here are some quotes from the same sermon:. -"Hurry is the enemy of our life." -"If you want to go fast, go alone." -"It takes two to forgive, but it takes one to start it." -Gen. 33:14          -"I will lead on slowly." This is what came to my mind when connecting life and the sermon: Maybe God is not giving me a teacher to slow down and get ready for the wedding? Maybe this is a more of a blessing then a curse? I can do other things instead of not teaching for a few months. Things like organizing a room, cleaning kitchen, and/or helping keep the whole center clean. God knows what I need. More then I do. 

"You can't control your world or everything in it, but you can control your character!" -Gen. 37:36 -Gen. 39:1-3 Beliefs and actions=character  3 values of character          -Character is TRUSTED.                    -Gen. 39:2-6- Leaving everything in Joseph's hands.                    -Gen. 39:4 Why trust anyone?          -His Being is God's saturation.                   -Gen. 41:38 -Are you so obviously filled with the spirit of God?          -Character is TESTED.                     -Gen. 4:7 (The Message) 1. NO means NO. 2. RUN means NOW not later. -Character is CONSISTENT. -Gen.39:3-4-In the Palace -Gen. 39:21,23-in the prison

Mood Tracker: -Stressed: 5 days -Worried: 4 days -Calmed: 11 days -Happy: 7 days -Loved: 4 days -Dread: 2 days July Habit Tracker: -Say Prayers: 9 days  -Do Yoga: 3 days -Don’t Talk Wedding: 2 days -Takes Meds: 27 days -Eat Healthy: 14 days -Headaches: 12 days I have felt the bravest when: -I went to another country alone for 1st time. -I moved to live in another state. My dad is the most courageous person because he has been through cancer 4 times and the MG and he still works through it. He won't sit still at all. My favorites: Do I have any pets? -a cat named Jake Am I an early bird or night owl? -I am an early bird. What other state would I like to live in? -Montana  What is my dream job? -Owning a daycare. Days of the Month: July 2nd-Went home for th 4th and got AC back in car. July 3rd-Did fireworks at home. July 5th-Got engagement pictures taken at Crystal Bridge. July 6th-Did a yoga class outside with Cocoon for the 1st time. July 7th-Startee summer break with parents....

Gen. 32:24-32 -verse 30        -My life has been delivered. 3 moves God makes and what we should do:             -When God initiates, we need to respond.             -When God speaks, we need to request.             -When God works, we need to receive it. -Hebrews 4:7 -John 10:10 Jacob's Gifts From God: -New life....new identity  -Redeemed past.....promising future  -"Your story isn't about your limp but it's  about God's Grace."

            As most of you know, I am not big when it comes to talking about what is on the news or about politics but that is usually because I don't know how or what to talk about when it comes to those things. I just leave those things to my dad and big brother to talk about. Lately, though, I have been interested in the Olympics and what Simon Biles has been doing and saying. Some of you might think it is all politics or just the news but I truly believe it is not.                I believe wholeheartedly in what she is saying because I can relate. Mental Health is not something to mess with. I feel like I can relate a lot to Simon Biles and totally understand. Here is my story of Mental Health. I have had anxiety I think since college if not before but I finally admitted it when I was out of college living by myself at 27 years old. I didn't admit it right on my own. It took me a few ...

           I am so scared of what this next year will bring. Everything is up in the air from work to family. Will I have to change jobs because of how daycare is going? We have 4 teachers in the building as I am writing this and we are on quarantine. Have been for 2 weeks. Will my dad be okay? Dad just spent 3 weeks in the hospital and got shingles while in there. Will I get to have that dream wedding I have always dreamed of or will the chapel close again because of this COVID?Will I get to live the life I've always wanted or will the world end before that?            I don't want to have to wear masks again. I don't want to have to stay away from family again. I don't want a world where people are fighting again. I don't want to give up. Why give us this hope when it is going to get crushed again? I don't want to be trapped. I want to be free. I want to go places and see people smile. I don't want to live in a depressed worl...

Dear Future Self, You are reading this because something has happened and you need the courage to get through it. It might be something good and life changing or it might be something sad and hard to deal with. Whatever it is you can get through it! I believe in you! If you can make it through COVID and all the dealings you had to deal with because of that. You can make it through anything! You made it through not seeing your siblings and nieces and nephews for a whole year. You made it through your 2nd year of dating when you couldn't go anywhere. You made it through all of your dad's sicknesses because of it. You even made it through spending months with your parents and you haven't done that in a long time! Just remember for you and the world nothing could be as bad as COVID was when everything was shut down and stood still. It made you rethink things. Made you think what is important in this life. Made you think what things you take for granted all the time. You can get...

May Reflections: May wins: Started yoga, lost a few pounds May hiccups: Not saying enough prayers  May favorite moments: Zack's birthday trip, parents' 50th anniversary, my engagement  May hard moments: Getting more children (up to 17 children) What do I want to start and continue: Continue yoga, start writing verses  Mood Tracker:  Dread: 5 days Powerless: 3 days Eager: 2 days Worried: 4 days Satisfied: 8 days Zeal: 11 days Habit Tracker: Say prayers: 15 days Doing oils: 9 days Doing yoga: 3 days  Not talk wedding: 7 days Play log: 1. Using polar bear as a puppet. 2. Made lemonade with the class. 3. Played dress up and school with the nieces. 4. Playing a pom pom game with kitty. What people bring out out your playful side?          -My nieces and nephews when they were little.    When was the last time you craved out time to play?  What were you doing?           -Probably 2 years ago with the nep...

Luke 12:35-48 Jesus is coming back verses: Mark 8:38 Mark 13:26-27 John 14:3 1 Thess. 4:16-18 Jesus has not abandoned us. Unilmate fix for worry is the 2nd coming of our King. 3 Parables: 1. Be like servants of a master going to a wedding.-verse 35          -Be ready and if you are ready you will be blessed. 2. A theif will come in a night.-verse 40           -No idea when Christ will come.           -1 Thess. 5:2-4           -2 Peter 3:10           -Rev. 16:15 3. Man leaves home to a steward.-verse 40           -towards pastors, ministers, and leaders.            -person who manages home well will be promoted.             -Those who was in charge of teaching The Word will be held to a higher standard and stricter judgment. James 3:1 1 Cor. 4:1 Be ready! The King is Coming! There ...

Notes from a workshop we had at work: 1. You have a choice to sit in stress or work through the stress. Stress can make you feel like you are alone. 2. You have to make a decision not to be scared by stress. 3. What you do in that moment will either have you stay in stress or out of stress. 4. You have to be INTENTIONAL in managing your stress and health and peace. How to disconnect from stress: -Get a grip and Learn how to be quiet and still. -Learn how to have meetings with yourself. Questions: -What I am thinking does it keep me stuck or move me forwards? -What I am thinking about does it increase my stress or decrease my stress? -What I am thinking about does it connect me to the stress or disconnect me to the stress? Have a meeting by yourself to get rid of stress. Three types of boundaries: -mental       -Set and resetting your mind.       -"Your mind is on overload because you have not taken the time to get out of auto pilot and land the plane." -rel...

May: Creativity  April's Reflections: - April's wins        -got last COVID shot        -got something for my headaches  -April's favorite moments:          -Dad's birthday           -Easter           - Penny and Aoife gave life to the Lord -April Hard moments:          -a lot of headaches           - trying to understand people -What I want to start:          -Going to yoga          -Write happy entries  Mood Tracker:          -Depressed: 0 times         -Overcome: 4 times         -Blissful: 16 times         -Exasperate: 9 times         -Panic: 3 times         -Passion: 4 times  May Habit Tracker:      ...

"Stress is a disease." "Mind can work for you or against you." Here is how you tell if you have a stronger relationship with stress: -It is part of your identity. -When thoughts are a lot of your time. -When people can tell you are stress by you actions. Here are some stress patterns: -Passed down through the family. -Past experiences. Here is what stress can do to a person: -mess up peace of mind -affect health -affect thoughts -distance yourself from others. "When it comes to stress, you have to seperate yourself from stress to know your stress." -"God has got me! Go away stress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Luke 11:14-28 What kind of people were around Jesus:  -3 different kinds of people -People were amazed at Jesus.  -People were accusing Jesus. Acts 19:13-14 Luke 11:23 -"Who is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters." -People were asking Jesus to show more signs. Luke 16:27-31 Matthew 12:39-40 "You are more blessed when you put your faith to action."

In my April journal, I wrote this: Mood Tracker: Insecure: 2 times Relieved: 10 times Hope: 7 times Regret: 0 times Eager: 3 times Disgust: 8 times Habit Tracker: Take a walk: 2 times Say prayers: 11 times Eat one healthy meal: 12 times  Wash dishes: 4 times Bed by 10:45: 11 times  What did I do to feel more free?: Got my last COVID shot. During and after time with God. Sat outside under the sun. When I don't have to decide. When I write out my feelings.  Having the energy to do things. Walk in the rain.  Have you ever had a time where you felt trapped in some way?  Right now, my health.  I just feel like I am not free to eat like I use to. It adds stress to me everywhere in everyday life.  What do you need that helps you feel more safe and secure in who you are?: I need to know that no matter how I turn out someone we always love me. I need someone to listen too.  April 1-Got my 2nd covid shot. April 2-I got really sleepy and my body was hurting ...

What My March was like:        Word of the month: Curiosity            February wins: Started a Bible Study at my new church. It was an online one.  February hiccups: Prayed less then I would have like to. What do I want to start?: To journal at least 2 times a month.  My Moods: Amazed:  2 times Stressed: 3 times Calm: 13 times  Annoyed: 6 times Happy: 12 times Helpless: 3 times My Habits: Filling out my journal: 21 times  Saying prayers: 13 times Eat healthy meals: 13 times Talk a walk: 3 times Go to bed at 11:00: 8 times Question Log (questions I had throughout the month): -Will my dad be okay? -How will headstart run after masks are done with? -Why after all he has been through? -What will the world be like after masks? -Why can't we just love people? -When is my check coming? -How do you cure seizures? -Will there ever be a cure for Altimezier's? -How much will my bears be in the future? -Will there ever be a...

           Easter have been different for the past two years. Last year it was because of COVID and this year we are trying to get back to "normal" which is strange now too. For me, that's not the only reason it is strange for me. A lot has happened over this Easter weekend. A lot that shows new life like Spring and Easter should show.            First, Dad went into the hospital and had no idea why or what was wrong. He stayed there for about 4 days. The drs. did all these tests but we still had no answers. Finally, his regular Dr. came in and said we are going to figure this out. They went ahead with the biopsy and we still don't know. That is where I worried and waited.             Second, I got my last COVID shot on Thursday. Now I can be free in life and start anew that way. It is almost Iike I was born again in a strange way. It was like that shot really had to go through my body to make...

            Living in two worlds in one week is crazy. I thought I would take a break from my anxiety meds since I wasn't really stress this week but I was wrong. I cried for the first time last night in a long time. It is like I am living in two worlds. I wish I could just live in one. I wish I could be normal and not get so worked up about things even for a week would be nice. I also noticed that the past two nights I couldn't sleep because my mind wouldn't turn off.                 That's when I started thinking about things happening I guess and I just started to cry. Yes, its good to cry every once in awhile especially when meds are holding you back but it is still strange. You cry and you don't know why. You are all worked up and you don't know why. I guess what's going on in today's world is really upsetting. Maybe I am happy that I found a way to work through this tough time in history. Yes, I am hearing ...

Summary of my February  Word: Endearment  How many times did I feel: Happy: 8 times Stress: 6 times  Sad: 3 times  Sleepy: 4 times Loved: 1 time Calm: 12 times How many times did I: Go to bed at 11:00: 13 times Talk a walk: 0 times Said my prayers: 7 times Wrote in my journal: 17 times  What brought me warmth, love, or joy: -God created me for me -Family talking about the Chiefs -my boyfriend -my cat Jake -ice day on my 1st work anniversary  Self-Care Bingo Exercise: -Spent time with family -made a cup of tea -took 5 deep breath -spent time outside -started a new TV show -listened to music -called up an old friend -light candles -made soup -gave myself a mani What events happened and when: -on the 10th- was an ice day and stayed home from work -on the 11th: was an ice day and home from work -on the 12th: snowed all day. Went to pick up a few things and selves were empty -on the 14th-snow all day -on the 15th: 4 inches of snow, PD day at home, lights went ou...

 The God of Details God is nor just an Almighty God. He is a personal God too. He cares about The big and little things. He cares  About everything.  God is the God of details too. Not Just the big things. Every detail is Not forgotten. He does care about Creation. He cares about each person  Too. He cared enough to name flowers. Every animal. God cared enough To put us with the right people. He Gave each of us different fingerprints. Every detail is important to God. You Are important to God. When you need To know how important you are,  Remember the God of Details. The Almighty God cares for you and Everything around you. You might Think something is wrong with you, But guess what?! Not a detail is wrong With you. You are prefect! You are God's Child! Written by: Tiffney Wilson Written on: Feb. 22, 2021

         2020 was an usual year for most of us. So unsual that we are trying to look for and post the good things that happened in 2020, which is good because we need to realize that God was in everything at all times. I am going to name my by month if I can. Pick something out good from each month. Maybe that would help me see more of how blessed I was in 2020. January- Got a new job but had the confidence to quit it too. Was really sick at the start of the month but got over it. Really bad cough.  February-Started a new job and it was a big job. Had 20 kids and some of them weren't the easiest but I hung on. Got one of the kids to come half day.  March-Was finally getting the hang of the job but then had to stay home even after Spring Break. April-Don't remember much from April. Think it was just getting use to the new normal. Couldn't have Easter with all the family.  May-Got to celebrate my boyfriend's 40th birthday. I kind of made a big deal ...