Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

       As if learning about Grace on my own last week and two weekends ago from church, I had to hear it again at my small group this past Sunday night but it was good to hear. I still don't get it and never will but it brought a picture to mind that I have to deal with in my job and it was neat to see. I need to make a poem out of the title sometime but this will just explain the, I guess, background if the poem does ever come out. Then a little girl hit me yesterday with a simple thought of grace and thankfulness that I will tell at the end of this entery.        Where I work I have children come in every 3 months and of course it is hard for them. It is a transition and a big one at that. Then they leave after 3 months to a foster home or back to their parents depending on the situations. I couldn't help think about how that is us with God and His Grace.  We come into God with being really quite and seeing what it is like and what we can ...

         You know what the most 2nd annoying question is after "what are you doing for your future?" It is "where is your boyfriend/husband?" This past two weekends I have got asked in some form "where is your boyfriend/husband?" First off, I'm only 26 years old I still got my whole life ahead of me and second off, I don't need one, I'm stubborn enough without one. That question comes at the hardest time for me for many reasons right now but won't go into them all. When someone asks that question, I just smile and/or say "I don't know" but I got to thinking about it and you know what I do know where my husband is. Warning: This entery is going to sound girly and very "religious" to some people.           While I will admit because I'm a girl, it would be nice to have a real man to be my boyfriend/husband and to get presents on Valentine's Day and just for no reason at all. To know that someone loves me all t...

      You would think after a week being with children that I would want a break from them. Well, that's not the case. I love to get into different places and learn what is out there and what I need to do more of. I went to a center this morning where the poor and homeless people come to church and to get their food and other things. They have church there on Sunday and I got to help with the children Sunday School. It was neat because I like Sunday school and I love children espically the needy ones. It just fitted me perfectly. I could share the Message without being scared or thinking what someone else thought because I knew that they were there for that reason.          We (a friend and me) had 3 little preschoolers. A boy and 2 girls and they were so fun. I played mainly with one of the girls and the boy. They were playing with wooden building blocks. They told me that they were building a church with the blocks. There were actual peopl...

 "When Jesus heard this, He told them, "Healthy people don't need a doctor-sick people do. I have come to call sinners, not those who think they are already good enough." -Mark 2:17 "Jesus replied, "Do wedding guests fast while celebrating with the groom? Of course not. They can't fast while they are with the groom. But someday He will be taken away from them, and then they will fast. And who would patch an old garment with unshrunk cloth? For the new patch shrinks and pulls away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger hole than before. And no one puts new wine in an old wineskin. The wine would burst the wineskin, spilling the wine and ruining the skin. New wine needs new wineskin."-Luke 2:19-22         These verses say a lot about what Grace is. Grace can bind up the holes in your Heart everyday. It needs to be new everyday. We need to get rid of the old and put in the new. When we are "healthy" we don't need a doctor to h...

       " We need to give Grace in every situation even if it is a situation we don't understand. That's all the more reason to give Grace. God might be working through that certain situation so giving the Grace that that person needs and giving God room to work it all out is worth it in the end."          This saying is something I have came up with during this past week and learning a lot about grace through everything that I can. I feel like I have seen God's Grace work and is working through my life a lot right now and He is teaching me how to give it and recieve it. It isn't a one time gift like we usually think it is. We give our lives over to God and then that's it. Grace is a gift He gives us everyday because we, as humans, are sinners and we mess up everyday. Why I'm just now seeing and understanding this I have no idea. Maybe it's because I have situations in my life now that show me it? Maybe it's because I need to give grace ...

       "God made me this way", said a little two-colored eyed girl. Yesterday just broke my heart to pieces because of what one of my little girls said. I learned so much from her yesterday then I have in years. It's funny how we get so caught up in who we are even though our parents try to teach us that we are spiecal no matter what. I know my parents did a great job of teaching me that. It wasn't til high school that I really cared about the way I talked and I don't even think about it anymore really but I love this story to share with any other little child that I come across that needs reminders of how beautiful and speical they are in Christ.         I have a girl at my job where she has 2 different colored eyes. One is blue and the other is brown. It catches you off track when you first look at her but you get use to it the more time you spend with her. I think they are beautiful every time I look at them. It reminds that God made us a...

-Saying "no" a lot in high school -FFA -Going to College of the Ozarks -Changed my major -BSU in college and on the leadership team there -Went to Mexico, London, Ireland, and Guatemala -Certain friends and situations with those friends -Moving to AR -Deaths in family -Losing my 1st job in AR -The THG -God not giving me what I wanted at the time that I want it -Being single at 25 and beyond :) -Working at different children's places (aka headstarts, daycares, children's shelter, and different nations) -Boundaries in my life

God's Grace is not something we Get once and we are good. We Get it everyday because we need To be healed that often. We couldn't Get through a day without God's Grace. As humans, we think grace is really Big and only working in our lives When big things happen. Even the Small things in our lives can happen Because of Grace. We never think Like that because we don't fully Understand what Grace is. There Are not enough words to explain Or actions to show what God's Grace is but that is the beauty of it. To me, it is God's way of saving and Leading me. We always look at the Cross for grace and that is a big part of it and where it all started but then We stop there. We think grace is a Thing of the past but it's not. Grace is at work everyday of your Life. It could be in form of someone Talking or not talking to you, a situtation Where you left let but you were saved From something because you left Late, you moved to a different p...

        Today was an amazing day for me. I got to help out an organzation that I have loved and helped out with since I was a little child. That organzation is: Compassion International. They have a speical place in my heart and always will. I started sponsoring a child through them about 10 years ago. I can tell you my story about how I got hooked up with them and how my experience has been with them for so many years.         I was 18 years old when I sponsored my first child from them. My girl was and still is the same girl and my only girl so far. I started to help her out when I went to a youth conference in high school with my youth group. Compassion was there and I felt the need to help a little child out because I have always been a person to help children out that are in proverty. I started out donating money to her and her family and then I had to stop for awhile but my mom kept paying Compassion for her but then I started up ...

        I thought that since it is Valentine's Day tommrow that I would write something along that line that can help everyone out or get everyone thinking at least. "Commitment is a Lifetime Lesson" or "Commitment is hard in any level of life." I've been thinking about that word "commitment" lately and what it really means but it hit me hard yesterday when I didn't get up and go to my Bible study at church. I started to wonder how many little things like that do I just drop because I'm too sleepy or don't have the time to do. Then I got to thinking what are some things I am committed too right now in this part of my life.          I have two things that haven't changed since I moved here and won't change for a long time. The first one is my job and the kiddos I help. It seems like I've became so committed to them that I'm becoming the leader for them which is good but strange for a shy girl like me. I will say that the...

       Dear Grandma and Grandad,                 I wish I could tell you this in person instead of writing a letter that will never be given to you. It has been 2 years and 1 year since I've seen you both. I couldn't help but think about both of you today on your annverisery. I was looking at the bullet that was shot during Grandad's burial and started to think and cry. My job has been really hard lately but I know you both would be proud of where I am today. I got to thinking about where Grandad used to work and in a way I'm kind of doing the same thing only for innocent children. I'm in a shelter that opens 24 hours and had it challenges every now and then. You are learning everyday. It can be scary at times too because you are wondering if you are doing the right thing or enough for that person. You never know what a person might do. It is the biggest shelter around NWA and it is well known. That's you in me, Grandad....

       Psalm 16:1-9 "Keep me safe, O God,   for I have come to you for refuge.  I said to the  Lord , “You are my Master! Every good thing I have comes from you.” The godly people in the land   are my true heroes!      I take pleasure in them! Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods.  I will not take part in their sacrifices of blood      or even speak the names of their gods.  Lord , you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.   You guard all that is mine. The land you have given me is a pleasant land.  What a wonderful inheritance!  I will bless the  Lord  who guides me even at night my heart instructs me. I know the  Lord  is always with me.   I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.  No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety." These verses has rea...

        Some of you might be reading the title and saying "Duh, of course He is King!" but that saying hit me hard last night at church while the sermon was going on. The preacher would just keep saying it and I would keep hearing it but that would be the only thing I hear that kept touching me in a different way. I have been going through a lot of ideas and options for my life and just thinking a lot. I would hear one thing there that I wanted to do and then another thing from over there. I have been going through what I call little storms lately too.          I was home last weekend and went to my parents' church and the preacher talked about storms of life that we go through and how we need to step out on faith. Strangely enough, I come back to AR and go to church and the sermon is the same but they add an important truth that during all this Christ is King and He is in control. The two sermons went together but they were from two di...

        It has been a week since I last wrote on here. I'm so sorry but as most of you know it has been a crazy week or more with this snowy weather. I stayed two nights/days at work this week so I feel like I'm behind on everything now. It was a good two full days at work though and it was fun staying over night because it felt like a small mission trip and I got to know the children better for 2 full days of working. I was almost thinking about staying for 3 nights and I would have if I had packed enough. I learned a lot and we got 2 new children at the end of this week when it was safe to drive. I will tell you about one of them later. Right now, I want to tell you about something that one of my older children said to me one night this week and I will be honest I cried right beside his bed when he said this.          He is the strong boy where is something would be bothering him you would never know until bedtime because he would hol...

          I need to come up with better titles for my enteries, I know. This one is hard to come up with though. all of my children that I work with are different and been in different situations. We never know what a child has been through until when get the child. I have two very different children that I have to learn a lot about and remember a lot about.            I had a little girl that was going to be my challenge for three months. She came in with a bump on her head and her left arm broken. I had to start giving her baths with a Wal-Mart bag on her arm. She got the cast off after a week of working with her. She would spit at friends and any workers that when she didn't like what we made her do or when another child had something she wanted. She was so anxious that she had a kitty that she would carry around everywhere with her. If she lost the kitty, she would ask, "where's kitty?" She couldn't stay or work with one thing ...