Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

        These last two Christmas breaks have been total opposite but at the same time they have been really good and reminded me of different things.            Last year's Christmas break (2021) was all about finding my wedding dress. That is what we did for my birthday shopping day and we went on my birthday the 27th. We celebrated it that way. Sharon came with us to join in on the fun. After we went to two different places to try on wedding dresses, we found the one. The two places that we went were David's Bridal and Gracie's. We found my wedding dress at Gracie's. I tried on about 3 to 4 dresses at David's bridal. At Gracie's, I tried on about the same number of dresses. We also ate out at a small restaurant.            This Christmas break (2022) was my family oriented. On the 27th, we had a Christmas / birthday dinner with almost all of the family there and Sharon. We even opened on Christmas presents...

            Going into 2022 from a messy 2021 didn't start anything out right. I was exhausted at the start. Jan.      - whole new class      - new assistant teacher      - new director Feb.       - sent out save the dates       - looked for new apartments March        - try out dress and hair for wedding over spring break April        - dad's first birthday without him        - went fishing with family for his birthday        - his birthday was on Easter this year May        - mom had first wedding anniversary without dad June          - first Father's day without dad so we went fishing to celebrate him         - had Covid at the end of the month for the 1st time July          - fixed a tooth over summer break ...

          I have had 3 days off of work this week and as I have been lying around thinking about the last time I actually had sick days. I cannot remember when that was in the past 2 years. The sick days came at the perfect time. They came right before Christmas which I could get ready for when I feel like it and now I won't have to be so stressed out come Christmas.              I feel that God planned it as perfect timing because he knew I was getting so tired of everything and that I have had a really busy past couple of years with my dad passing and planning for the wedding. I think God Neil I wanted to give up but he also knew that I couldn't On My Own Strength so the next best thing was to make me weak and sick. I have gone back thinking to the time before my dad passed away and all that consisted of and what I was going to with my job back then.               It is kind of funny no...

I have to be moved out in 24 hours. Something I thought I couldn't do but I think I will be able thanks to my fiancé and my dad and my co workers. I would just like to say, "Daddy, I have never felt more like you then these past 2 days. I almost had to be you today or was thinking about it." I almost had to talk hard to someone because they couldn't get on the ball. Something else that helped me these past 2 days is that I could literally here my dad asking "did you call and check on your apartment?" "Do you really have it?" "How much is it really?" "Call the movers and see what they can do?" "Tell them you have lless things now and they are big things And other questions guiding me. I also feel like he was there when we picked the apartment. I think he would be happy with it. I really don't think I could have gotten through these 24 hours without him speaking to me. He knew I needed guidance with the 1st big move witho...

-"Don't try to be in God's Presence, enjoy being in it."- Me

-"Sometimes you don't know and you will never know but that's the beauty of a love story. Isn't it?"

           Spring Break 2022 was a busy one but at the same time I learn an important lesson. That lesson is: Just go with the flow.  Mom is able to do it. I can too!             We did a lot on break and I saw a lot on break for the first time. It was just mom and I for a week. Amber was at work for most of the week and most of the days. She didn't get home to 5ish most nights. Mom and I worked on things together and got a lot done. I know mom was happy having me there for a week needing her help on things. I kept her busy for sure.              We got a lot done. She went to the dentist with me. She wrote the addresses on my wedding invitations because her writing looks more artistic then mine. Her writing is a lot more readable then mine too. As I kept getting addresses to me, she kept writing them. We got stamps to out in them too. We also sorted my wedding things into plastic bo...

Mood Tracker: Joy- 9 days Unfocus- 1 day Accomplish- 7 days Sorrow- 5 days Anxious- 9 days Calm- 12 days Habit Tracker: Drink water- 19 days Write in blog- 2 days Eating Healthy- 11 days Say Prayers- 10 days Gratitude Log: -a class -Hugs -Mom -Chocolate -Heater -For not getting sick -Sleep -Fiancé  Word of 2020: Bloom Words of 2121: Flexible                              Hope Word of 2022: Joy Affirmations: -I am a work of art. -I am stronger then I know. -I love myself as I am in this very moment. -I slow down and take things one stop at a time. -I will reward myself with Time to relax. -I allow myself to receive and give love. -I have endless creativity. -I have an abundance of good ideas. -My ideas are are unique and inspiring. Dates: -Jan. 1: Curtis' Christmas Get Together  -Jan. 2: 1st snow -Jan. 4: Last day of Christmas Break -Jan. 5: First day of class for me this year -Jan. 6: Snow half inch this...

            I want to focus on being joyful this year. After last year, I think I deserve that much. I had to be really flexible and it was stressful for me but now everything or almost everything is turning back to normal or as normal as it can be so I can be joyful. It is also the year of my wedding so I can be joyful for that too. Life is just easier if you aim to be joyful everyday and look for the positive things in your day. I picked that word because that is what I really need to do after the past two years. I need to get back at looking for things that make me joyful.