Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

         This week has been a tough and busy one for all areas of my life. I could never get a moment of peace even away from the children because my mind kept running non stop. I would keep waking up in the middle of the nights and wake up each morning feeling like I didn't get enough sleep for the next day ahead of me. It was amazing what God has shown me about peace this week and I know He isn't done with teaching me yet about it.          I came home from work Tuesday and just sat in my quite apartment for a few mins. and I thought, "Wow, it is really quite. This is what peace feels like." Nothing was going on in my head because it couldn't at work because I had to be on top of everything. Yet the children were screaming and yelling non stop that day. It just felt like it was God given peace like God said, "Here is a little of what peace looks like. Doesn't it feel great?!" No one around me and no one to tend to. Now don't get me wr...

       "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight out battles. And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the kind of Judah said."- 2 Chronicles 32:7-8          "When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. But since they could see the man who has been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say."- Acts 4:13           I was going to write until tomorrow night because I think it will be of a weekend thing this year because so far it has been. Sorry about that but I had to write this out because God is teaching me something again and through a...

        You might read the title and think "what is she talking about? She is crazy." Even though that statement is true in so many ways, I'm not crazy when it comes to the title. I thought a lot about what that meant and where God has me in my life right now. Yes, I want to marry and have my own family someday if God is willing but if I look around me now I have a family, 2 different ones at that.           Last night at church, I felt loved and like I needed to be there. Now you think I'm going to start talking about how a church can be a family. Well, you are wrong there too. I did feel loved there more then I have in awhile. I will admit. I about stepped out on a limb but held myself back for a few more weeks. It was "Compassion Sunday" for my church. That is where we have a grown up that was raised with the help of Compassion International come speak at our church and then we have the chance to sponsor a child.       ...

          Looks like I'm only getting to write once or twice a week right now. Sorry about that. Things have just been really busy and they're not looking like they are going to slow down anytime soon. I had sort of a week where I was trying to find myself. When I say I was trying to find myself, I mean where I belonged, what church group I belonged to. It has been hard but I know where I belong now even through it might not seem like it and that is because I'm not doing my part.           I went to a Pentecostal church last Sunday and then a small group at that church on Tuesday night and for me it was just really different. Church was great but the small group just didn't fit my personality. Yes, I need to come out of my shell some but it was just too much for me. There were things I was iffy about because I wasn't raised that way at all. I was raised Baptist for the most part. Those are two totally different things. Yet I was baptize...

         These are some of the verses that God has put on my heart in the past month. I tried to put them in order to where it sounds like what I think God is trying to teach me at this  moment  in my life.  “Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Geetings favored women! The Lord is with you!”- Luke 1:28 “When your ancestors went down into Egypt, there were only 70 of them. But now the Lord Your God, has made you numerous as the stars in the sky.”- Deut. 10:22 “Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. “Don’t be frightened, Mary,” the angle said. “for God as decided to bless you! You will become pregnant and have a son and you are to name him Jesus.”- Luke 1:29-31 “Mary responsed, “I am the Lord’s servant, and I am willing to accept whatever he wants. May everything you have said come true.” Then the angel left.”- Luke 1:38 “Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you sa...

        When I first moved to AR and while I was in college, being a missionary sounded great for me. Three years have gone by, now it doesn't sound so exciting. I started a job in AR 2 years ago with the missionary mind set for the rest of my life. It was a mission I could do in the states. It was a way I could change lives.          Let's just say that I'm glad I didn't go overseas like I wanted to before moving to AR. I need people to stay by my side and help me through anything that I'm going through especially if it needs a  mission mind set. I can't do mission work alone. No one care. There is so much emotion, mental, and physical things that go into that kind of work. When you don't have the group beside you to share things with it can ware you down fast. That is one reason I decided not to go overseas. I couldn't do it by myself or take care of myself like I should. I have a hard time balancing both right here in the states. ...

       If you read my blog at the start of this year, you will see that my word was "Truth" and it still is but I have another word that I want to add along with that word. That word is "Captivating". Now put the two words together "Captivating the Truth". Do you see the truth in that and hear how strong it is? It can go two ways and for me it is. It is going "do I see how captivating the Truth of God is" and "what is the Truth that is so Captivating in me and how to do I live it?"         I am reading the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldrege and doing the journal along with it and those two things are really making me think about who I am in God as a women. It is taking me back to my little girl childhood to remember all my dreams and fun memories I made. It is reminding me of all those times that I watched the princesses' movies. It is reminding me of that time where I would always play house or teacher with my ...

         "Have you ever had one of those nights where your mind kept you up all night by dreaming and you actually get up and can't get ready for the day?"           I had one of those nights last night and I woke up with so much less energy. I didn't feel like going to work and I even wore crocs out in the 20 degree weather just because I didn't feel like getting ready fast enough to find my socks. Yes, when it comes to clothes I'm not the most organized person in the world. I will admit that.           Here is how the night went but I won't tell you all of my dream. I fell asleep like any other night with my smells on to calm me down and make it easy to go to sleep. Next thing I know I am awake at 3:00 am when my first alarm goes off and usually I can get back to sleep and sleep for another hour. This morning, for some reason, I couldn't at all. Yes, I went back to sleep or so I thought but I kept rememberin...

        As Christian women of today, people see us as just reaching out to the church community around us which is all fine and dandy but what about the other people around us. You hear again and again "you need to reach out in the church", "get involved with a women's or some kind of group", and so on. Now don't get me wrong. As Christians, we need that kind of encouraging community every once in awhile but not all the time.          Now some people might be thinking but that is what being a Christian is all about. It is about being in community and I can't argue and won't argue with that because that is what it is about. We seems to get so caught up in church community that we forget the other communities that we are suppose to be changing or reaching out to. To me, "Reaching out" means getting outside of your comfort zone and church is more of a comfort zone for us then anything else. We need to reach out in our workplaces and more in t...

    "Sometimes we take the little things for granted when really they are a blessing in disguise. It makes you fight for something or someone even harder when the little blessing makes you see the bigger blessing they have been trying to get to all along. It helps you understand and love the same thing that another person is fighting for and you will go right alone beside them."       Ok, enough with my own quotes but this week I really felt that way with a friend of mine. God put me at that same place by His own appointment and my eyes were open for my friend. I have seen and heard things from my friend about how they wish they were doing something else. Their passion but yet they are sitting behind a desk.        Don't get me wrong everyone I know has as some kind of desk job and that is great if that is the job God made you for. It hurts, though, to see someone behind a desk that should be doing something they like and bigger. Not only ...

Jeremiah 1:4-10 (MSG) 4b:       This is what  God  said:    5  “Before I shaped you in the womb,      I knew all  about you.  Before you saw the light of day,       I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations—      that’s what I had in mind for you.”     6           6 - But I said, “Hold it, Master  God ! Look at me. I don’t know anything. I’m only a boy!”     9   7-8  God  told me, “Don’t say, ‘I’m only a boy.’ I’ll tell you where to go and you’ll go there. I’ll tell you what to say and you’ll say it. Don’t be afraid of a soul. I’ll be right there, looking after you.” God ’s Decree. 9-10: God  reached out, touched my mouth, and said, “Look! I’ve just put my words in your mouth—hand-delivered! See what I’ve done? I’ve given you a job to do   ...

       I think this is my last "New Year" entry one. I have been wanting to write one about an old bookshelf I have since October but am just getting to it now. I think it would be a great way to explain how the New Year will go. You have an old bookshelf that you can put new books on about your life in a new year. It is like you can build onto your old year by adding books to it now.        I see it that way as God is giving me new words/phases and goals for this coming year. He is making me a new person and showing me things that really does matter and make me who I am. As I look back at last year, my word was "trust" and there were things that I had to trust God about weather in my personal life or career life. I just had to trust in what God was doing and believe that it was good for me. I will admit that I have had to trust God in different friendships and career spots this year but I'm thankful for each change because it has worked on me in...

       It is the first day of a new year (2015). I have one word and phase I'm going to focus on this year plus 3 minor ones. The phase is "Speaking the Truth in Love" and the word is "Truth". The three minor words are beauty, acceptance, and heart. The main verse for 2015 is Ephesians 4:15. It says:         “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. -NIV         I'm starting to read a book and hopefully will start talking about it to another friend but it is really an eye opener for me. It is the second time I read it but first time I have read it through God's eye. I will tell you more about it as I read and talk about it. I'm hoping to write phases from it and write what it means to me. Hopefully, you will understand where I'm coming from with this entry.        Anyways,  the word "truth" hit me in Dec...