Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

             I am going to take a break from my recent topic because it has been brought to my attention that I am writing the same thing over but in different ways and I am even ducky if I do that. It has also been brought to my attention that I need to focus more of my passion on God then what I have been lately so that is what I am going to do in this entry. This entry is going to be about the sermon that I heard this morning and just some of the thoughts that I got from it. I will say that it has another big passion of mine and that is children: as a teacher and as a person thinking about my future. Yet this is a sermon that we could all use especially this day in age.             The title of the sermon was: "Fearing the Lord". Now the person that I listened to today was a subbing pastor but he had some good points about fearing the Lord. His main verse, even though he gave out a lot, was Gensis 2:4-7, which is below...

   This entry has been in my drafts for about 3 months. I couldn't bring myself to write about how I was and am truly feeling til now. I still can't put all of the situation on here because it is public but I am doing some because I feel like it would help other women. The title "Feelings I never thought I had" is so true. it is strange but though the whole situation and still I never had feelings like I do now. It was never so hard to tell someone how I really felt til now.            I never felt like I was really part of something and that I was going to brake that bond with words. I never knew the different feelings between a crush and something more. It was hard at first. I had a lot of questions for friends and God. I thought I was going to go crazy without doing the things that I use to do to support the person I cared about. Thought I was going to go crazy if I didn't do it everyday and every minute but I was wrong....

Dear Daddy,            I could always use more wisdom on life and in life. I know I don't know everything and I never will til that day at the earliest. Even then, I might not know all the wisdom and answers to life. I could also use more wisdom with the children I teach and am around. I could even use more in the field of Child Development. Yet, Daddy, that is not what I want at this moment in my life. I want wisdom for a marriage. I want wisdom to know and find my future husband. I want wisdom on how to treat him and show him that I really do care for him. I want wisdom on how to like the same things as him. I want the wisdom to learn how to disagree and agree with him the right way if there is such a thing. I want the wisdom on how to grow old with him.           I want wisdom on how I should raise my future family. I want that to match the wisdom of my future husband. Children these days are so different then I was raise...

            I know I keep doing this and someday I will write something from them. Right now, though, I want to just remember the verses I like and maybe the thoughts will come back later when I look at them again. This is probably the 2nd or 3rd entry I have done like this. Life has also just been so busy that I haven't had time to write a real entry. These verses have been on my draft page since last year (2017) since at least November. I am also doing one entry so I can clean out my drafts on here.  I promise to get one or two writing ones on here this Memorial Day weekend. We'll see if it will happen. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Blessed: Genesis 12:1 New International Version (NIV) The Call of Abram 12  The  Lord  had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household  to the land  I will show you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~...

            The title doesn't do justice for what I am thinking or going through right now. It is true, though, because I am learning a lot and my eyes are being opened a lot more too. I am learning who I am and who God wants me to be and where I should be within His Reach. I am learning that God has His Protecting Hands over me all the time. I am also learning that God does things for a reason and they could be the strangest things but yet they could also make a difference in lives of the people around us. I am going to try and explain what I am learning deeply without giving away the people and situations that has helped me get where I am today. I also know that I should be writing a Mother's Day entry but I just can't get these things off my mind until I write them down. Sorry to all the moms out there.              The biggest thought that I could have in my life, I had it last night while laying in bed. That thought ...

Luke 7:36-48 "37  A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume.   38  As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them." "39  When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet,  he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.................” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "44  Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon,  “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet,  but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.   45  You did not give me a kiss,  but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet.   46...

            I had another thing and writing theme when I picked this title a few days ago but now I think this theme that I am going to write about fits the title more. I have been thinking a lot this week about situations I have been in and yet to be in and it is hard and will continue to be hard in the long run until I get where I belong. The thing(s) that are hard for me will just get harder. I just need to get stronger and trust the process that God is putting me through to get there. God is working everyday in my life right now and I see it and it is hard. I have looked past this school year (Aug.-May) and God has really been working it that year.              God has given me something to care about when I have wanted to give up so badly because I wasn't getting a response back. God has given me more and more to care about when I thought I had enough on my plate. I never seem to be able to get away from certain thin...

            It has been 2 months, going into my 3rd one. I just noticed that I have sort of been wandering through life for the last few years. I have been noticing the wandering in my Bible study that I have been taking and loving it. It was the focus for this week and it just made me think about things more. All of the study this week has been about wandering and working towards our "True Home". It has been reminding me that I was made to be misplaced here on the earth. I was made to have all of these confusing feelings and been misunderstood and not understanding other things that I want to so badly. I have been learning about the differences between a wandering path and a pilgrimage. I would also use the word "meander". Here are the differences: Wander: "to move about without a fixed course, aim, or goal. Meander: "to go about from place to place usually without a plan or definite purpose." Pilgrimage: " a   journey,   especially   ...