Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

        "You will love more passionately, hurt more deeply, grieve more bitterly and celebrate more joyously throughout the process of caring for vulnerable children then you ever thought imaginable. We must be willing to walk down this path for their sake. As we do, our embracing of their brokenness paints a vivd picture of how Jesus embraced ours."-All in One Orphan Care          This might be a fast entry but I think this quote explains it well. Explains what I'm doing with my job and what I want to do with my life and also the person that I am deep down inside because of what I've seen and done. God uses things in our life to make us like Him and I really believe this is how He is doing it in my life. I will go step by step in what I think it means in my life now and later. With job, with friends, and with family.  I challenge you to look up the org. called "All in One Orphan Care".            LOVE M...

         This month has been strange for me and has went by fast. I can't believe it is almost over. It seemed like it just started. It has been a strange month but yet a good month at the same time. As you can tell, I have been thinking and writing a lot and things have changed for the better. I am more content then usual but I just didn't get that way this month. I had a hard run with the devil a couple weekends ago it seemed like. People would say that I'm crazy if I thought the devil was messing with me but I strongly believe he was.          Two weekends ago, I was doubting what was going on in my life and just worrying about everything happening around me. I worried so much that I got up in the middle of the night with my head hurting really bad and I just started to cry and scream out loud. I thought at first it was because my head was hurting that bad but now as I look back and looked at everything that has happened since I beli...

        Most people would think I am crazy right now because I get up by 4 and get to work at 6 or a little before but I love it! I started the morning shift at my job and it is 6-2. I can have a "real" life now with friends and different activties but that's not the only reason I like it. There are a lot more reasons.         Reason #1-It is a lot calmer in the mornings. That is when the kids just got up and is ready for the day. You don't have so many things to do because they don't take baths in mornings. I also get to spend time with the children because I don't have to be up doing things all the time. Less fights because both teachers are in the room or around close by and can get to the children faster.         Reason #2- Being a teacher's kid, I'm also a morning person. I have done 3 out of 5 days this week without coffee or a lot of it. I'm use to getting to school by 7:30 and leaving at 4:00 on good days when I was l...

         "God made children grow in a certain way and when we don't take care of them the right way, it can change them."           Look at this quote from an abused or neagleted child's point of view. I came up with this quote after watching a movie in a training that I had at work about a little girl that was abused and not paid attention to.  Our main subject was child development, which I probably had 3 of the same classes on that in college because I kept changing my major and they weren't happy with the one I took for some reason. This quote that popped into my mind got me to think about child development (aka my degree) and how new way.           People have been making these charts and ways that children should reach and do a certain thing by a certain age and most of them do or at least close to that age. We tend not to think anything about those charts but work with abused preschoolers and you w...

       Like I have said before I am thinking about a lot of things and I know have time to write so there will be a lot of entries on here in the next few weeks.  This entry is about prayer and clarity. This past Saturday at church the sermon was about why are we here on this earth and why the cross. Now you might ask how did you get clarity out of that. Well, Jesus followed God all the way to the cross. He had clarity from God that that was His Purpose for Him here on this earth.        I was reading another friend's blog and what she is going through right now with her daughter and all I can say is wow! Then her brother is doing an amazing thing. It is just like you can see that that whole family has something going for them but do they see that in the mist of the busyness and worries with those situations. They are really prayer warriors for anything and everything. I keep thinking to myself, even though, I'm not suppose to, how can I be ...

         "Cover Your Eyes, let God lead and direct." That is probably going to be the theme of this next week while starting my new hours and life for right now. I will say that I got this quote from a guy friend of mine. I need to do that really bad. I just need to trust God with my life right now. He is working on things for me that is why I feel like I am stuck here. I also need to prayer in "circles" around the things that I really need but first I need to firugre that out and my personal mission statement, which I'm taking a Bible study for that on Sunday mornings now. Once I get it together I can really pray that and more.            "Cover you eyes" is a different way to think about things because you hear people tell you open your eyes to what God is doing for you. Thinking about it, that could get bad because you could have your eyes open and yet see all these ideas or your ways and not believe that what God is doing is be...

         Selfless love is hard and that is an understatement in itself. Loving someone or something so much that you just have to give up everything for it or let it go, really. When you selflessly love more then one thing at a time that is even harder. That is what I'm going through right now. It just seems like God puts all the stressful things together and I knew big changes were coming even before they came like a week or two before. They mainly have to do with friends and my job. Some I like and some I don't but it is better for the people involved. I have no say at all.          Selfless love is giving up the person that you think you like to do their dream and make it come true. Giving up that person yet you spent most of your time into that person. You're happy for them but yet at the same time it is breaking your heart to see them move on. You want them to be happy before you are happy and if that means giving up them to their ...

        My Love for the Orphans is strong whether here in the states or overseas. I know that is my passion but I don't know what to do with it. I want to start a business or some type of organization to raise money for them but how. I feel like I'm helping now and I know I am but I feel like that is so much more to do for them. I know not to get my hopes filled up because I am only one person and I can't solve it all on my own but I want to do a bigger part then I am now.         My Love for the Orphans is driving me to get them a education, which those are two things that I love. If I could find a way to keep doing it for the rest of my life how I would love that job. I'm fighting for an education for them because the first 5 years are the years they learn the more. It is science proven. Right now, though, it seems so hard because I have people around me that think it can't be done but those two things are my passion so I will find a way. ...

          "You don't just fall in love. Love is a choice because you choose to invest in a person." I heard this quote from church camp a long time ago when I was a consulor to some jr. high girls and it hit me then. The message was kind of the same at church this past Sunday so the quote came back to mind and it is, again, the perfect time in my life for it. You might be asking what in the world do you mean by this quote because as humans we think we just fall in love I mean that is what all the movies show us, right? Love, especially deep love, is so much more then that.            Deep and meaningful love is a choice because you chose to invest in a person. You can "fall" for just anyone but it takes someone special for you to invest in and spend time with and maybe, hopefully, the rest of your life.  I call it "deep love" too because that is a neat way to think about it between God and us. God had such a deep love for us ...

         "Sometimes we have to learn how to be happy". It is so neat to see happiness where I work because you know the children are really happy when they are and it is the process of how they get to be happy moving from their situation to ours. So much can be done with just a routine and someone you loves them. I have recently seen some children that came in really upset and sad but when they left they were happy and smiling. One child was homeless and the other child was living in a bad house.            The homeless child was a girl that her dad "gave up freely". Now some of you might be thinking why would he do that but he cared enough for her to do that because he knew it would be better for her them being homeless. It was so sad to see her come in on her first day because you could just tell by the clothes she was wearing that she was homeless. I didn't think anything about it until I found out that why she was there. She wa...

       People might think that this is a sad entry when they read the title at first. It is a really good thing for me to think about, though. I am 26 years of age going to turn 27 in about 4 months and I'm still searching for my place in life. What got me thinking this way is a Bible study that I started taking this past Sunday at my church called "The Signfiance Women".  It is about the personal mission that God has for us as women. It has a part where I think about the life experiences that have happened in my life so far and it goes all the way up to the 90s but I'm so young I only get to fill in 4 boxes.         It is funny because my 14-20 and 21-27 box is not big enough in the book. I had to get a notebook size piece of paper and write all my experiences out on that. When I was writing them all out, I noticed 2 themes in the good and the bad experiences. I was loss and searching for where I fit in life. I have had  the oldest mem...

         This is just going to be a short little story of something that one of the little boys did and said at my job. I started to take the time to talk to him Friday night about what was going on in his life. Just sitting him on my lap and listening to him tell his story his way and I know I wrote about it 2 enteries before this one. Going back after the weekend, I saw a whole new him yesterday.           He acted amazing! No misbehaving. He did talk more like a baby which I was sad about but when I reminded him to talk like a big boy he did. When another peer would try to make him mad, he would just go somewhere else away from that peer instead of getting mad at him. No dumping toys out. He was like a whole new child just because someone would sit and listen. He also made me a card that I found in my mailbox before work yesterday with the help of another teacher.           He would not go to bed again last ...

         "Don't be selfish, don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others better then yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same that of Jesus Christ. Though He was God He did not demand and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing, He took on the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in the human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal's death on a cross."- Philippians 2:3-8          These verses are ones I have looked at but haven't been doing a great job of lately. I've been so busy at work and so set in my ways and woe is me type attitude that I haven't cared for my friends as I should have been. Because of that, I'm losing a lot of them if not lost them already. Some friends are telling me to look to other people and help them and my attitude ...

           It has been a long week but everything turned out good at the end. God always gives you those little moments to remind you that He puts you in a place for a reason. I had two of those reminders this week and some hard ones too. I could write an entry about each one but I know I won't have time so I'm going to write all about them in this one.             First, one of my girls had to have surgery for her ears and throat at the same time. She had to stay over at the hospital overnight so I went there to be with her in the morning. Let me tell you I was shocked when I first went in her room. Seeing that little girl asleep with IVs and everything else hooked up to her. After hearing what went on the night before, it was truly a miracle. She also cried while me and another co-worker was trading spots. Then she went back to sleep for awhile after I held her for a bit. When she woke up the second time, she actually smiled...

          Are we ever prepared for the Process called "Life"? If we were, we would get nothing done and it wouldn't be as much fun. I was talking to a friend of mine earlier last week and we were talking about being prepared for dating or going out with another person. First I thought, "Ok, that is neat that this person wants to be prepared before actually going out because it is nice to know about things and know what to do." Then as the weeks went on, I got to thinking about the real meaning behind it down deeper because I'm a deep thinker. This thought came to my mind, "Will we really be prepared for the process of meeting that person and then that first date with that person or the next step in life or so on whatever it might be?" We can get prepare the way we think "being prepared" mean but ARE WE REALLY PREPARED?          Through my experiences and job lately the answer for me is "no" and for me that is a tough answer. I...