Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

         As I was thinking about this entry, there was a lot of things and titles that I could name it but then I thought about what I heard this past Saturday night at church and it just really got to me in so many ways so I'll write this entry using that. I will say though that the first title and theme I was going to write was "Doing Everything Backwards", which I am but I think it has to do more with my humility then anything else. People might say that I am a kind, caring, compassionate, and so on kind of person but I honestly don't think the would "humbleness" would be in there. I need a lot more learning on what that word means.         This past Saturday night at church, I learn what it meant through David and his Humility to God. My pastor said something and it stuck with me and I think it will until at least this hard, rough patch goes past me. He said, "Humility: Reordering one's life around God's standards." I really th...

          Now this is more for my memory then anything else but it is also really cute so I don't mind sharing it on here. It won't be a real long entry. I spent the evening with my nieces and nephews and they did some of the smartest and cutest things that they could think of while I was watching them.          Both of my nephews and their friend actually dug a "stream" under the swings and fill it with water from the water hose. They build to streams on each side leaving a big piece of "land" in the middle of them. Then both of those streams eventually got together and dumped into a "little pond" that they made at the end of the streams. They even found a big, long earth worm to play with in the streams and yes, they did play with it and watch it move all over the place. I just stood there in "awe" for a little bit watching them build it because it was great seeing some little boys actually out in nature using that brains to build thi...

A-all knowing B-beautiful C-compassionate D-dependable E-everlasting F-father G-graceful H-holy I-inimate J-joyful K-knowledge L-leader M-mighty N-nice O-only one P-patience Q-quilt-This might be going a little far but Q is a hard one to think for but I picked quilt because God comforts us when we need Him to just like when you get under a quilt that is on your bed. You get under God when you need to be safe and "covered up". R-redeemer S-Savior T-teacher U-understanding V-victorous W-wise X- x-ray vision because He can see right through us. Y-yearning Z-zealous

         This week has been hard in some ways but at the same time I have been a lot more relaxed then I have been in awhile. There has been some changes in my life this week that are big changes but I'm not going to worry over then, which is a huge step for me. I turely believe what happened, happened for a reason. God was giving me other plans in my mind to pursue and if I couldn't do it where I was then He needed to move me so I could do it.           I love relaxing these past few days. It honestly feels like a weight has been lifted off my body. I can and have just laid in the middle of my living room floor and felt relaxed with nothing on my mind. I sleep better and seem happier. I can take care of myself more then I use to be able too. It is strange though that I'm not really worrying over getting another job. Then again I have plans and I know God has plans for me too. It is a time I can trust God and see Him work in the way He ...

      I have spent all morning thinking and journaling by hand about my life and really just talking and listening to God. It has been hard to come to the reality of who I really am but there was always that little voice in the back of my head telling me things that I knew was true but didn't want to hear or thought I could fix by myself because I'm stubborn like that. I don't have a good title for this entry yet but maybe one will come along while I'm writing or later on today. I'm not the person anyone thinks I am. I've hid and said no to things for so long. I have put them back in my mind so I wouldn't be bothered by them.        As I look back, and yes I will say, since my college years, God has given me people that would try to help me become who I can be but I was just to stubborn to change. I didn't see how anything could help or how what they were suggesting would help. How can something so little like changing the way I talk make a big differ...

    Well, I am back from Nashville, TN. Really don't want to be back and start reality again but I have to. It was such an amazing and relaxing trip! It was just so great to get away from everything and just be with my college friends again and be reminded of how much fun college was. I was thinking when we were driving back home that I should talk to them more and not just them but other people that I live around that went to college when I was there. I'm a new person since I graduated college. I'm not the same as I use to be at all. I've had chances I never thought I would have and so on.       Anyways, this trip with the girls made me realize who I really am again and who I should be. We are all friends because we have things in common and besides believing in Christ, which is our main thing, it is also helping children and just being and living in the same state. It is having that closeness in community and with the children. It is all about having that one...

      I lied in my last entry about that one being my last one before vacation. It would have been but then I thought about something else on my way home this afternoon and showed me how God can work and in what strange ways He can work. I hope it makes since because I want the lesson to come across perfectly but not the whole story of what happened. If you know what I mean? Hopefully, I don't have an entry with this title yet. Maybe someday I will look back and make sure I don't?       Earlier this month, a friend and me didn't really understand where each other was coming from and didn't really know how to tell each other what the problem was. I would call it a small disagreement but I don't want to call it anything for the sake of being wrong. I was doing something that was bothering this friend for a long time and the friend had enough of it and tried to tell me in a nice way, which is great if I could read nice words or hints but with me that doesn't ...

  1-2 " Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I help?” 3-6 " That’s exactly what Jesus did. He didn’t make it easy for himself by avoiding people’s troubles, but waded right in and helped out. “I took on the troubles of the troubled,” is the way Scripture puts it. Even if it was written in Scripture long ago, you can be sure it’s written for  us . God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize  us , keeping us alert for whatever he will do next. May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we’ll be a choir—not our voices only, but our very...

        As I sit in front of my computer, typing and eating pudding, I think about this past week and what I did and learned. The Bible study that I had on Tuesday night was very powerful. It was about "letting God take care of your business, if you will only take care of His business." There has also been a friend in that study that as been encourage me every time she talks about it, which I was thinking she did twice, about cleaning out her garage and the "stuff" she was saving for the future when she would get married and have house. It was like she was holding on to those things and that hope instead of God. That stuff had her in bondage from the freedom God could give her.          As I just sat in the car and met with her a couple of times, just her and me, I got to thinking too, What am I holding onto? Could my anxiety and stress come from holding on and hoping for so many things? After the Bible study Tuesday night, I went home and s...

       I think the best way to show what God is teaching me is through writing poems. I use to write poems all the time when I was in high school and I'm just slowly getting back into it. This poem will be my second one in 2 months when I use to write 3 poems in one month. I would like to get back to doing that if I can. We'll see what happens. Mold My Heart Ideas from: 1 Samuel 17 when David had his defining moment before his kingship. The sermon on that chapter was July 4th, 2015. Mold my heart into Your Heart, O God. I want people to see You through me. I want to love like You love. I want to have the same passions as You have. Let me love like You. I want to have a heart like Yours. I want to see what You see. I want to see the realness in people. I want to see what is really going on in this world around me. I want to see things that I can be a part of. Mold my heart into Yours, O God. I want to commit to the purposes you have given t...

       I'm writing now because I have a really busy week ahead of me and probably won't get to write for the next week if I don't have to. I'm getting ready for a vacation and then I have a lot of work meetings to attend to so won't have time. I wanted to write about what God has been teaching me this past week and last night at church. Don't you hate it when the sermons at church match up to what you are learning without even known or thinking about it. Not only that but you know God has already been there because it also goes with the situation in your life at that time.         I had a favorite saying this week and it was from my summer Bible study group and it is, "As you release it, God releases a miracle to you."-Priscilla Shirer. My week's study was on how to spend time with God so you can get a double potion of a miracle later on in life. It is like spending Sunday to get ready for the week. Like catching up and/or finishing housework but...

        If you follow along with my blog, you could probably tell that I am working with a brunch of rowdy boys and some days are better then others or worse then others. These past few weeks have been really busy and really hard for me because of the behaviors of the little boys but things are getting better. Today was one of the best days that I have had in a month or a little longer. It is strange because it is the day my FFA advisor past away 6 years ago. I always remember him telling us who we could be and really were. He has challenged us to be the best that we could be and today I was there or at least most of the way there.          I had some really cute moments with the little boys where I remembered "oh yeah, this is why I love this job. It is for the children and nothing or no one else." The first moment was when the boys were going crazy outside and chasing each other around the playground. They seem like they can't play alone. ...