Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

         "Getting back to the Basics of Life" has been the theme of my life this past week. It is strange how it came to my mind though. This past Saturday, at church, we were talking about how Christians need to get back to the basics like the Bible and Prayer. I got that and I thought during the sermon, "oh, boy another boring service" but then my mind took a turn. We said "The Apolate's Creed" and I use to do that at the church I went to during college. I got to thinking about college and everything after that. What I did back then and now. What I liked and how I did things.           For some reason, I'm going back there and liking it more and more. I'm learning to do things over, I'm looking for new things, I'm thinking about going back to college, and I'm learning that I would like to either teach or own my own daycare/preschool. Those have been my old, first dreams. It feels like I'm starting over being back at the very ...

         My heart is Full and I will tell you why in this short entry. At work, right now, all of our girls are part, if not all, Hispanic but 1. So it is 3 out of 4 that are Hispanic. It didn't get through to me until last night when I was watching one of the girls go to sleep. I couldn't take her laying there any more so I rocked her some but I didn't want to leave the room to go do anything else until she fell asleep. It was only her second night and she has had a hard life like all of these other children.           When she was in her bed, eyes wide awake and looking at me to see what I was doing, she reminded me of my Guatemalan preschoolers and young. You know when you go to another country and the children have that sad look on their face when you first show up. That is what her face looked like laying in bed. I mean she looked like she was from/ part Guatemalan but I don't know her background at all. It just broke my heart, tho...

         I've been thinking a lot about my "life" degree and what it means to the people around me lately and when I first started life with it.  If you want to be right, I do have a "life" degree in Child Development for 26 years but yet I went to college for it but that's not the point and I don't regret it at all. I love my degree! It leaves chances wide open for me but what I don't like about it is how most jobs put it on their unimportant scale. If you want to go more into it, they will put older, middle school and up, youth before the preschoolers, which is the area I love too death.          Seeing how some people and jobs put children and childcare alone just makes me sad. How some people treat people like me with a college degree or experience or both like we know nothing. I'm not trying to say I know it all but it's true how we get treated and that of course goes for teachers too. I have seen and lived with both sides and...

        To start this post of I did something dumb that a girl should never do because she can guess the answer she will get back but it came around as a good lesson about my life right now. I asked one of my guy friends if I needed to change anything about me for him to like me. Questions like: Do I need to be more outgoing?, Do I need to be prettier?, and a few others. I won't tell you the whole situation that was going on because now that I look back at it it was dumb to start with.          He did write back which was kind of a surprise but then again not really.  He wrote back: "Nothing is wrong with you, Tiffney." I thought at first, "Okay He doesn't care. He just wants to sweep this under the rug." Then I saw him and he was more compassionate. Anyways, after about a week of thinking about it and 2 church service later once again he said something that fits my life right now or really that doesn't fit my life but is a challenge fo...

         Now by the title some women/girls will not read this but let me explain. I'm dinfantly not against moms and not trying to be. Moms are the supporter and carrier of the family. If it wasn't for her, in all ways, there wouldn't be a family at all. Tonight at work, though, God showed me the importance of having a Dad too. We really do need both to make a family work.           Dads have things and can teach children things that moms cannot especially little boys.  Little boys tend to listen to dads more. They can rough play with them. They can learn how to be leaders if they are the right kind. Dads have more power over us, moms. It is just the way God made us. When little boys see that a man really cares about them, they might behave. The dad just has that strong look and deeper voice that little boys know.            I'm talking about this because I saw something happen with one of my little b...

      I had a cute moment with my children two days ago.  It reminded me why I work where I do and that I am really there for the children. To give them the experiences that they will might never get to have. It was kind of like that moment where the older children built the snowman during the winter but to me what we did was more my style.        We went on a nature walk behind the building and on a little path that we have beside the building. We have a farm that has horses on it behind us. We walk up there because the children, at least, loves to see the horses. They asked a lot about going to see them. This is the first group that I have had through that went up to the horses. It was cute to because 3 out of 5 horses came up to the fence for the children to pet them. The children had a blast petting them. They were scared at first but when I petted them they saw that it was safe.         It was so cute seeing those smiles...

          As most of you know I am more tomboy then I am a girly girl. More country then rich but then I count myself rich when I'm in the country. I was getting my hair trimmed at a salon this morning and a thought came to be that I haven't thought about in forever. It was a thought that I needed because maybe it will help me through this time of confusion. I thought about getting my fingernails and toenails done to make me feel a little bit better. It's a girl thing and the girls will understand. It is also like I have no one to make me feel special do I'm going to do that myself. I need it every great once in awhile and it has been awhile.          What I was thinking about was the last time I got my nails done and that was with some very, important friends of mine on a shopping trip during the summer. I remember my mom being in shock when she came to pick me up because it was something I would never do but it was a fun time with thi...

        When some of you might read this you might think I'm putting myself or other people down. I am not and I am not talking about certain people besides myself. This is what I have seen over the years and learning more and more about myself and who God made me to be. The question of this entry is: What's normal?          After working with children that has a lot of problems and myself just calming down and thinking about things, there is no normality among children or people. Being a teacher's and superindent's daughter helps too. I like to believe that now I am working and around children that need help in some way or another all the time, I am seeing my weaknesses. I feel like God is turning my life around and using those weaknesses because I understand them perfectly. This is a real transparent piece of writing but I'm learning and would like to share with people.         I'm not normal and any person who think t...

         "When I was just a girl, I thought I had it all figured out. See my life would turn out right and I would make it here somehow but things don't always come that easy and sometimes I would doubt."-From the song "Free to be Me"            Who would have thought that I would have made it this long in AR? Who would have thought that I would even pick and like AR for a place to call home? Not me 3 years ago but thanks to some friends, I do call it my home now. Northwest AR is the place to be and since being here I have learned so much about life and just myself. There is no beautiful or peaceful place that I would rather be learning and living then here. It is funny how last night co-workers and I were talking about living in AR and people's ideas of it and my idea before I moved here to be honest but I kept thinking I'm only from MO but I have lived 3 years here and it is nothing like people think.       ...

           I love all the children that I work with everyday and I know you are not suppose to have favorites but I do. Shhhhhhhhh! The children do not know that. It seems like my favorite ones are the more challenging ones. I know have had 3 very challenging ones and I loved them all. I think the reason is that I get to try things out and learn new things with them.  You can tell that you have really helped them in some way before they leave. I started out with one and just got done with one and now I have another one. I will tell you about 2 children though on here. One is the challenging one I have now and the other is just hard to get to sleep.            My hard one is a child who will just sit and cry. He won't go play with the others unless I'm in the room or I lead him to it. He started out crying after supper because he had to leave his sister. He keeps talking about and asking for his sister and daddy. He keeps ...

        I know the title sounds cheesy but the more I work with abused children the more I think that saying is true. It give me a feeling like they saw something in me that they can trust. I see in their eyes the help that they need. You might be able to tell by their additudes or body movement or just listening or other things but for me the eyes mean so much. I didn't really think about it until these past 2 weeks.         I would get down on their level if they were out of control and make connection with their eyes and say something sweet like "I love you" or "you are safe". What got me is when I took an elementary aged boy to the drs. I have the story on here 3 or 4 entries down but I had to make him look me in the eyes where he was getting his shots because he did not like them one bit. I felt something then but didn't think that anything would stick to that one boy especially since I don't see him everyday.         ...

          I have come to the thought of trying to guess what my children will be and then write a little entry about them if it is easy to tell. This one will probably be the cutest of them all and you had to be there to see it but I'll try my best to explain it. I was in the gym with my children one day this past week. Yes, mine. I'm kind of obsessive over them. I have never seen a one month old baby if that ever follow an object as well as my little basketball player did.            This won't be a long entry. Just one where I can remember the moment. I like to do that a lot. I was shooting baskets in the gym trying to keep my preschoolers entrained and that didn't work very well but the babies were in there with us. As I was shooting the baskets, it kept one of the babies very entertained. It was so cute to watch.              The baby was sitting under the basket to the side of it and as I wa...

         If I would pick one question that breaks my heart and never gets old at my job is the question, "Do you love me?" especially when it is asked by a preschool child I have had before. It was so cute and random. I could just take this little girl and her sister and have them live with me. I've had both on my wing and they are sweet and lovable. I never really thought about it while we were talking about it because it happened so fast but I did think about it on the way home and it broke my heart more.          I wondered if that was God speaking to me through that little girl because I thought it is the same question He asked Peter before he went on the cross. Is God testing me to see if I'm really okay where I am in life right now? Is He challenging me more? How can you not take a child in after they ask you that question? It was her sister that I gave a Bible to and started reading it to. I can really explain that feeling but if...