Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

         It never felt better then now to be writing again on a computer instead of my phone. I got a new computer this past week. You don't know how much you miss something until you have it again. I'm hoping to start up my writing back to every other day now but we'll see. I'm pretty busy with work and other things. I do have a lot of stories to tell about my life and work. We have some interesting children this go around and I'm excited to see God work in a lot of ways through me and the children.  In fact, God is already working through me with one and that is the reason I am writing now.          We have this little boy that has had everything done under the sun to him. Ok, that might be a little lie but just a little. He was taken away just like that with no explanation.  He has no idea what is going on. He says everyday that his daddy is going to come get him and that he wants to leave the place. He wants to go with sis...

         This past week was probably one of the hardest for me and here is why. A brother and a sister came to us because they were homeless. You could tell right from when they walked in because of the smell on them and the clothes they had on were too big and dirty. The brother seemed to be developmentally behind. The sister just seemed to be mad all the time.           Their dad was the one homeless and who turned them in for a good reason we hope. He just couldn't care for them right and he knew it. Mom was not in the picture. It was so cute because I took the little girl "shopping" in our store closet and every time I would get out a shirt or pants she would say, "that's pretty". Just broke my heart.            For both of them, if I left the room they would just start to scream and cry. The brother held on tight to me every time I held him. I was...

         This morning I had a really interesting drs. Appointment that I got to take one of the older boys to. It was my worse and sad one yet but in a way a neat experience at the same time. It was a boy that needed to get caught up on his shots.          He did not like getting shots at all. Even before we got there, he kept saying how long will it be and I miss my mommy and daddy and I want to go home. He even told the drs. That but he was happy to see the doctor because he remembered him.            I had to hold him on my lap for his first shot while holding his arms down so the doctor could give a shot. His second shot was longer so we had to have 3 people hold him. I hid his face so he could not see the shot and told him to look at my eyes. One of the doctors told him to look at mom (me) because he did not know. That got to me. I was really about to ...

        It is that time of year where everything is being harvested or about ready to be harvested. I have been thinking a lot about gardens lately. I am taking care of a family garden while they are gone on vacation. A friend of mine just put up a video with family sorting veggies from the garden.          I did not think about it a lot til today but gardens mean a lot to me and had a spiecal roll in my life. Not only did I grow up with a garden every spring and summer with a sunflower house in it. Everyone I knew had a garden. My grandparents and friends. It was so funny too because it would be the main thing my grandpas did. It was mostly up to them. Now I grew up with my mom tending the garden. That is where she spends her time outside at.             I was picking tomatoes today and I remembered something about my grandad. Tomatoes were his thing to gr...

         It has been a week since I wrote last and I am sorry about that. I have been busy with family and working overtime and so forth. This entery will just be to keep you updated on my job because we have had some children with sad, interesting stories come in. By interesting I mean, some I never thought would happen but God is still opening my eyes.            We had a 5 month old baby come in with stitches in her head because she had to have her retinas put back together. She was physically abused that bad. She is the sweetest baby ever and has the cutest smile. I was holding my new girl cousin a week after this 5 month came to us. While holding my cousin, I thought how could someone do this to a baby. I was scared to hold the baby at first but know I hold her every chance I get. The 5 month old, we were told, when she got to the hospital, only had a 10% chance of living.    ...

         "Discipline your child in the way he or she should go."-in the book of Proverbs           This verse came to mind when I was talking to one of my co-workers. I am getting the experience that it is really hard to discipline children and when you give them everything they want they will take you for granted. We were told to give into a little 4 year old girl's whining because she is attention seeking. This is a little smart girl so now she whines about everything even the things she can do by herself.           With this girl, I think I have seen her go downhill from when we, workers, started giving in to her. She will not stop whining about anything and she is throwing the biggest fits I have ever seen. She did not start with the big fits when we first saw her. Granted lot of things could make her this way but one thing is for sure, she is trying to...

          "Love covers a multitude of sins." That is the verse that hit me Monday during a staff meeting and it cannot be more true for this job and life in general. I got to thinking that this might be life verse, my mission to live by. Wouldn't it be neat to have an orphanage, children's home, or even a foster home with this verse being the mission statement?            I would love to come up with my own way of doing things to by using the Bible in everything we would do. I have noticed over the few children and times that I have read the Bible to some children that they respect and remember me more. I have seen children go from out of control to calm for me. I know it is not all me that is for sure but it is neat to see what God's Love can do. At my job, it helps me to remember that I am not only covering the child's sin but more the parents' and sometimes it is a lot harder then others....

        I had brunch with a friend this morning and she put into words what I have been trying to do for myself lately ever since a friendship hit a rough spot. She said, "I just need to work on myself". I do not know how many times I have heard that said but it hit me this morning. Hit me because of the things going on around me.          I need to know who I am in Christ and where He wants me in this world before adding another person to the mess. I need to seek God more and things will fall into place. I was thinking earlier this weekend about how I need to stop picking out guys for me and let God do it.          I will admit I feel lost and confused. I do not know what I want my life to be like. I feel like I am going between two very different lifestyles. I am not as organzied as I should be. I am not as healthy as I should be. I still have a lot to learn espically m...

         Last month I was on a "Love" kick. I was trying to understand what Love was and how we should love. I'm still going to look into it but this entery might be the last one on love for awhile because God is teaching me a lot of other things that you will start hearing about this week.         I was talking to a friend two weeks ago about love and what I learned. I told her that there is so much to learn and it is so hard to understand. She said something back to me that really made me think.         "There is only one word that can describe love and that word is "God"." That stopped me in my tracks and I had to think about it. "God is Love". We hear that all the time but we really do not think about it deeply. We try to love things and people and we try to make people love us but if we look to God we do not have to do all those things.      ...

          My 4th of July weekend has been pretty good. I've been thinking about all the freedoms we do have and most of my thoughts came from children. I've had 3 thoughtful moments with 3 children.           One moment was with one of my little girls yesterday at work. I read "Psalm 23" and that's sort of about freedom in Christ. Then I told her that I loved her no matter how she acted and that I hope she knows that. The other two moments were from both of my nephews but one yesterday and one today.            The moment that happened yesterday was while we were taking the dogs for a walk with grandpa (aka my dad). My oldest nephew saw some trash on the ground and said to me "we don't litter, do we?" I responded back "no, we take care of the earth." My nephew said, "Because it is God's Creation and we should take care of it, right." I said, "Righ...