Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

      I'm sitting here and writing this entry while I'm looking out the window at the white now falling to the ground and have been falling all day so far. It is pure white all around. I have been out to play in the snow with my nephews and niece. We went sledding and walking in the snow. This is my first snow weekend and days off from work and time with family. It is really nice to have that time together. I don't have to spend nights at my job  so I can get some sleep.        Enough about today, this week has been AMAZING and the snow break from work just ended it perfectly. I have literally down on my knees at my bedside praying every night. I'm not bragging but it has worked in so many ways through just this week. It has been a hard week but yet a very blessed one with some answers to prayers. I won't go into details about it but that are a couple things I like to share and remember. This week I got to talk to a friend that it has been awhile...

         Where do I even start at? This could be some sort of a poem some day but for now let's just think as this entry as the background to the poem that someday is going to be written. Last night at church, the sermon was from the book of Mark chapter 14 where it talked about having a meal with Jesus and during that meal there was a women that kneeled at His feet and poured an costly perfume on His Head and wiped His Feet with her hair.           In today's words, she gave everything she had to Jesus. That perfume was so costly and probably inherited that if she would have kept it and sold it she would have money for life. Money for her dreams, safety, marriage, and anything else she needed it for. Instead of keeping it all, she poured it on Jesus and gave her life to Him. Everything that she had was His. She even gave Him her physical beauty by wiping His feet with her hair. Women back in those days didn't let her hair down in pub...

          This week during my Bible study really got to me and I didn't think about something until last night at the Bible study group. This week's study was called "Rebuilding the Ancient Ruins" and it talked about our past and how we, along with God's help, can rebuild it to work for our future.  I came to the realization that I am so messed up in so many ways and God has got me where He does in life for a reason. To help me get past the "self in me" and help me see the true meaning of sin and this world.          It was strange when I thought about it last night but I did this study during the nights I had to stay at the shelter. I'm not allowed to say much about it but to be honest it has a bunch of ruins that needs to be helped with everyday. By that I mean the kids there, they have a lot of ruins that they need to learn from and then go on with a future that is bright for them. They don't need to live in the past and be like...

        Well, it is snowing outside but I am stuck inside working. I have been stuck at work for 2 days now but I am getting a lot of new experiences. I have read bedtime stories to the elementary aged girls and did half a morning shift for the teens. One story that I read was Mr. Dog, a Golden Book. It took me back to my childhood.         Then the last few days have been busy with preschool. Yesterday was when the snow was fresh so the children and I went out and played in it. I got a few snowballs thrown at me but good thing it is light snow. We had hot cocoa when we came back inside from the snow. Then we painted hand printed polar bears and went to the gym.           It was so neat and fun this morning! As we were gathering snow for the ice cream, we saw big, long, thick icicles hanging from the playground things. A few of the children had to break them off and eat t...

        I thought I wrote my Valentine's Day entry a week ago but I have been through a lot this week and learned a lot about myself. I'm going to write another V-Day entry about caring and loving the people around you by being yourself. I have been through a lot this week with God and my career. I'll be honest I was getting to the point where I was feeling overwhelmed with my career. I did write a couple of letters to the admin. telling them how I felt about the children and what we were doing for them.        I had one of the admin. and another co-worker pull me into the office and talked to me about those letters and it was a good talk. It gave me a lot of courage and strength. It showed me how much I really matter to the children and other workers around me. It also showed me how people see me which everyone needs that once in awhile but I'm not the way I am without help from God or friends. It took a lot of courage to write those letters fo...

         "Home is where the heart is". In this entry I'm going to be looking at that saying as a place and people that are around me, not just the people. When this saying is said, most people think about family, which is true but I'm going to talk about a place that I feel like it is home to me. There are some little parts of MO that still feel like home to me like down in the southwest but if you look at my life it isn't truly where I spent most of my time at but either is where I call home now.           My family doesn't stay in one spot and I love them for that but as a child it made it hard to call a place home. Being the second to youngest, I probably moved more then my sibling. Yes, some of them moved three schools.....Ok, that doesn't beat me but hopefully you get my point. These past 3, almost 4, years Bentonville, AR has been and felt like home to me.           I have started something Bentonville an...

         Warning: This entry is somewhat personal to me but it is not so personal that I don't mind sharing it. It could be like my long testimony of who I am in Christ and how I got to be that way. It is more of how God lead me to the person I am today. I hope I wrote it where it was simple and no fingers pointed at anyone.            I feel like I'm not living the life that God has for me right now. I know He has bigger things for me in store. I have been trying to be someone I am not and that is not working so well. God gave me the family, friends, and personality for a reason.            The truth is "I'm a simple, country girl who can be a stubborn, sassy blonde when it comes to my passions. My passions are children especially children who need help whether they are abused, not wanted, or disable in any way, big or small. You don't want to get me started on any of those topics unless you are rea...

        "Dating for a lifelong marriage" seems like a strange saying to me because all my life I have been around people who have dated just for the fun of it but the older I get the more mature I get in the whole dating world I understand that saying a lot more. I'm learning a lot about myself here in AR and what better place then here.  I have been through a lot of growth these past 2 years and I've noticed what I want and can handle.           People these days might think I'm crazy for dating for marriage but what better way to do it then just that. I got to thinking about it because God has put my in situations with friends that complain about their boyfriend or a guy that they like. Saying things like "why won't they like me back?, why did I put myself through the pain?", and so on. I'll be honest, I'm not perfect at all, but I do have a guy friend that comes to mind and I remember how blessed I am to have him in my life whether I...

        The world today is so messed up. That's something I agree with and I know we are people and we can't make everything right. That's what God and Heaven are for but when I see people no working or not even thinking about the things that are said. When they throw it off like it is no big deal. That makes my heart hurt big time. It makes me have no peace or feel like I have no signifinace in that place or situation when really I should. I know that there is where you start to think but you have those things in God but it's hard because if you are letting people down you know you're letting God down twice as bad.           I've been on the very end of the string for some time now in different situations and it doesn't seem to be getting better. It just seems like it is going in cycles and whatever people feel like doing they do. Cycles are bad when they have an effect on you as a person and for some reason on me they do. It might be becau...

       I love the Bible study "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore. It makes the old testament so much more interesting for me. It turns the strange wording around to where I can understand it and apply it to my life. This week is a challenge for me because we are going through the 5 benefits we could have once we are free in Christ. those 5 things are to know and trust (believe in) Him, to glorify Him, to know His peace, to be in His Presence, and to be satisfy in Him.  The theme of this week (week 2) is "That You May Know".         I already have done the know and believe in Him and to glorify Him. Those were the first two days and it is strong. It was so God for some reason because I study the "get to know and believe Him" part on saturday day and that night at church it was about getting to know Jesus. I think God is trying to tell me something through this study and this time in my life. Every time I am in a study at the church, it seems like ...