Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

            I got this title from an app that I am using on my phone everyday now. It is an app where it gives you different ways to be thankful for things in your life. One of the ways was called: "Negative Visualization". It is where you take something bad that is happening in your life or just anything different that you have little time left with it. The app said let it something that will end in the next two to three months. It could be a chapter of your life closing soon. It challenges you to think about why you are grateful for that thing or chapter in your life. That is what this entry will be about why I am grateful about the year 2017. I could go back to a lot of things that happened this year and turn them around for the good of where I am in life now.             I got this challenge on my phone on the 17th of this month. I will write what I wrote on my phone. Here it is: it was, of course, about my job since I was...

             "You're about to transition from being skipped over to being sought after! Relax, you won't have to compete for what God says is yours!"                             This year is ending in a strange way. It feels like the way that I started out in AR. It feels like God is giving me a second chance on everything. It feels like everything is coming around in a complete circle. It feels like a decade of my life is closing and another one is opening up for me. I just turned 30 two days ago and was thinking about how my life has changed this past decade and where God is having me God as I follow Him. If there is one thing that I have learned through the past decade it is to: Trust God and believe that His Timing is Perfect for things. Here are some ways that makes me think my 20s years have came full circle and ready to start a new decade.          ...

         Dear Daddy,                  I pray that this year will be really different then any other. I want to live the next decade worthy of You and "easy". Five passings, going to college, moving to AR on my own, 4 different jobs, and a friendship I am still holding on to. I know I have grown up so much in every way the past 10 years. Please help me use what I have learned in this past decade. You know my main dream that I want to come true. Please make it happen. 8 years of patience are coming to a close. LOL! I am ready for a new adventure in my life. Daddy, I love you too.                                          In Christ's Name      ...

          I have had this idea for the entry for awhile now but I am just getting to write it because I have been very busy with two jobs in the past 2 months. I am really behind on the entries that I write but it is for a good reason. I am going to write about the signs that I have been getting from God on a lot of things. Before Christmas, I saw a lot of signs from Him to change things in my life to make other things happen but also just to make it better and easier for me. Let's start out with the subbing daycare job that I got back a few months ago and where it has put me now.           My last day at my part time after school job was the 21st of December. I do and will miss it but it was something that needed to be done espically if I am going to keep living on my own and that is not in the works to change anytime soon. While I was subbing mornings at the daycare, there was a teacher job that opened up. While saw that as the first ...

          "I want an early birthday present and that is all for me. I want everybody to have a good Christmas."                      That is a quote from a letter to Santa that one of my boys wrote in my group. It was the perfect thing ever! I had to let every teacher around me hear it. I had him read it to every teacher. All this was at the beginning of December so perfect way to start the month too. As the month went on, I kept that thought in my head. I kept remembering that even if I was just with my family this Christmas, it would be a good Christmas. I wasn't going to do letters to Santa because some of my children don't believe in Santa but I went ahead and did it.              I just had them write letters and they could send it or give it to whoever they wanted when they got home. This little boy was the only one that wr...

          "Being in the Moment". If I got to pick how I wanted to end the 2017 year and start 2018, this saying would be it. I have been learning that a lot these past two months and you can tell if you read my past two entries. I give credit to my mom because she has espically been reminding me of this in the past few weeks. Her way of putting it, though, is "Take it one day at a time". If you know me at all, you know I am the kind of person who gets stressed out easily and worry a lot about things.              For some reason, lately though, this saying has hit and stuck with me. I know it's not the first time my mom has said it to me. Maybe it's because I'm going between two jobs? Maybe it's because something big is about to happen in my life? Maybe it's because I need to pay attention to people and things around me more? I don't know the reason but I can't think of any other s...

         It can leave you worrying so much and that worry can run your life. I use to have my life so planned out, it wasn't funny but here recently I am learning that when you don't plan it out, that is the best thing that could happen in your life. God has really been working on me about having Peace with His Plan and not worrying about anything. I know that was the theme this year as I look back on it or at least one of the theme words. PEACE. He made that clear when He was getting me ready for this weekend at church and for this advent week. I had a moment at my job when I discovered that everything was just perfect and I was exactly where I was suppose to be in life right now.           While my co-workers were talking about their plans for their lives, I was just looking out the door thinking "Why plan for your future? Nothing will happen the way you want it to or at least that is how I look at it." Planning for the future is a wa...

                Have you ever had the experience where you had to switch your brain from one thing to another? I have been through that for about a month now and I probably have to go through it for another two weeks. I know it is a strange way to think about what is going on in your head but it is true. People think that it is easy to have two jobs that deals with children of all ages. They think that I have it easy in the mornings or afternoons wherever I am at the time but I don't. I get exhausted by Weds. if I am lucky but it is usually by Tuesday so I am barely getting by the rest of the week.                 People tell me to calm down and that everything will be okay and will come to an end soon but they don't get how hard it is switching from one place to another. They don't know the affects that has on a person, especially a person that already has and can get really bad anxiety. It would be okay i...

Job 23:8-10 New International Version (NIV) 8  “But if I go to the east, he is not there;      if I go to the west, I do not find him. 9  When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;      when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. 10  But he knows the way that I take;      when he has tested me,  I will come forth as gold. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~            This verse is one I heard last Sunday from my parents' church. I hung out on it all week this week with it. This is the verse that I turned to this week when I needed a reminder. It is a verse about suffering but yet it tells us that there is hope in the making. I also shared this with a friend of mine because I thought it went perfectly to their situation too. I love the promise it has in it.              As you read the ...

            Starting this coming week, I won't get to write everyday. I will be lucky if I get to write 2 times a week. I have some entries that I plan on writing out this weekend so all I have to do is push publish but it won't be done that day. This past week and for another week or two, I have and will be working two part time jobs. I call them that now but really it is one full time job and the other is a part time job. How does that work you might ask? Here is how. I got hired at a new job under the same people and that job is full time but I am staying at my part time job until they find someone to replace me. It is confusing and very unusual for a job to do that but in the field I am in it is no surprise since it is hard to find people that will work for work and not the pay.             It all has been a learning process for me though and in a strange why I kind of like it. Although it is confusing and busy at times, i...