Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

           I will only write about baptism for a month and then this will be the last entry about it. I just write about it because I don't think it is by chance that God chose the 27th of Feb. when He knew Easter was exactly a month later. He had a purpose for that and for the job I am at at this moment and time with the people I am around. It hasn't been easy this past month but I have stuck it out and trusted God with it more and more.           I think I have done a better job remembering taking it to God first then worrying about it or taking it to people first. That is really the way you should do it all. I also believe that the devil is testing me in a little way to see if I meant what I did about my baptism. In the book of Job, the devil was testing him to and he still trusted God with everything. I am not saying this to say I am better now because of baptism but I'm saying it to say that I'm always working towards the Love...

          I was going to write another entry before this one but I just thought this one felt right for now because of things going on in my life and around me right now. I do have a story to tell and some of it I will admit might be made up but someday I hope it happens.  It is part of my dream and heart's desires. I titled this entry "Building Houses" because that is what has been going on around me lately with everyone I know. A friend of mine got married and they built a house, my dad finish the basement downstairs in their house, a friend of mine is remodeling her house a year after her husband passed away, and last and not least a friend of mine is starting with their house and land from the ground up.           The first two that I said really doesn't matter that much to me because I have no purpose or life in those houses. I mean I did get to help my dad some on the house but I don't and never lived in it. I guess it is spe...

        I know I need a better title for this entry like I do most of my other entries lately but it isn't about the title. It should be about the entry itself. Maybe this title will get you thinking as you read the entry? That is my hope at least because this one will be a thought provoking one. I find it kind of strange that I am writing this entry a week til Easter and it is the perfect topic for Easter and what that holiday is all about. I think Easter will mean a lot more to me this time around then it has lately. I was going to try and wait til later in the week but my other blogs wrote let me write in them so I had to write something, somewhere.         With all the rambling aside, let's get down to the really reason I'm writing this entry. As you all know, if you have been keeping up with my blogs, my church has been talking about suffering for the past few months, maybe a month or 2. It is so strange because you could be suffering and no...

         I am going to make a list of what my heart's desires are now and then the answers to my heart's desires earlier on in life or just here recently. I hope you can tell by my lists that God does answer your heart's desire but mainly in His Time, which is always better in the long run. Now My Heart's Desires Are: -A house -Marriage -Family of my own -Want to run my own outside daycare -A pet (mainly a dog) -Being a wife and not just any wife but a wife of ministry -A husband and a Father -God as the Center of my Life all the time -Contentment-nonstop -Peace-non-stop -Rid of my Anxiety Completely -A home where I can invite people in to hang out with Answers to my Heart's Past Desires: -Found a great job -Getting to be a leader with my creative side -Closer relationship with God -Finding a guy that is so into God -Being who God created me to be -Going to a great college -A great place to live (NWA) -Love to no end -More confidenc...

         I guess the title of "Nerd" will follow me the rest of my life. No matter if I want it to or not and people wonder why I don't let other people in so easily. I was just talking to my co-workers about what I do in my personal life and reasons that I don't do or do some of the things and they were like, "so you were the nerd/geek kind in school, weren't you?" I came back with what I think was a good answer to help them understand me better but then I got to thinking, "Why do you have to be a nerd when not doing things to fit in?" Is that what kids these days are getting called because they won't do certain things? Just to warn whoever is reading this, it is going to be sort of a rant too.          Now don't get me wrong, I knew I was a nerd from the very start of my life ever since I could remember but I tried to cover it up with the title "goody two shoes" because in a way I had to be that especially in high school. I...

Life of the Springs My favorite river starts from a spring in a cave. It is so dark and deep in that cave with no life at all. It goes way back there. The part that I see and that begins my favorite river is a blueish green and so deep. It is life in it and above it on the rocks. There are green leaves and water dipping down like raindrops. Those raindrops makes a splashing when they hit the water. That noise echoes in the caves. The splashes of water looks like diamonds coming out of the water. That's how clear the water is. The water then goes out to a big pond to be storing to be stored for awhile waiting for it to be used. In that pond, there is life so the water gets used for the first time there. It gathers up. When it is time, the water is released into the river. It is flowing on but as it does it has enough water to be used by people and fish. It makes people happy because it is clear and shallow enough and pretty to see the fish in it. Ever...

What The Farm Teaches Me? When you grow up on the farm, it can teach you so many things. For me, I am half of the person I am because of a farm. The farm teaches you responsibility. Getting up early and going out doing the chores. I always helped with the chickens gathering eggs and feeding them. The farm teaches you to love nature Going on those long walks through the woods to the pasture. Picking up acorns as I was walking along. I also remember swimming in the pond every now and then. Depending on the grown ups you had, it could teach you how to have manners. I learned how to set the table for guests. You learned to say "please" and "thank you". That's how I got to love pick up trucks. I would ride in the truck and visit people when we were delivering eggs and milk. It was a Dodge and then a Ford. I probably fell asleep most of the time on those rides. The farm also taught me to be a hard worker. From drawn til dusk, we were ...

          "Saving children from poverty through the action of Love."             That is what I am and was thinking about last night at the concert where I was volunteering with Compassion International for the 2nd time. It was so neat! Every time you serve with a company like that you get different experiences and this one was different then my first. "Rend Collective" was the band in concert in Bentonville at the First Baptist Church on the square so it was right down the road from me. I didn't go because of the concert and I can say it this time because I didn't even know who the band was but now I love them. They are very creative in the way they sing and play music. They are almost like a Christian River Dance.                They are from Ireland so that might explain a lot of their music style, which again I loved. Anyways, I was there helping with the Compassion International bo...

         I know it took me almost a week and a half to write this comparison and that is because I have been busy with other things in my life. I was going to compare my two baptisms and how they are different and how I feel afterwards. I first doubted if I should get baptized again because I mean how many people get baptized twice when they don't have to. I never heard of anyone getting baptized two times because they just wanted to. It was usually to become a member of a church or something along those lines.          My first baptism was when I was 9 years old. That was what I would call me "basic" baptism. That is when I understood what was right and wrong and that Jesus died on the cross to save me. I remember going over the 10 commandments with my parents before the baptism. I also remember that it was in the summer right before we moved to another city. I think that was part of what made me get baptized. I want to remember that I...

        Well, it has been exactly a week since I was baptized and let me tell you: It has been a week! When I say that I mean it in both a good way and a bad way but mainly in a good way now that I see the end of this week. I never want to give up the feeling that I felt this week for anything in the world.        No matter what went on at work I kept going.         My energy tank was full and I was happy for 8 hours for most of the week. Friday I did kind of get a little stressed out but I think I kept it pretty good under control and it was nearer to the end of my shift. I just kept doing what I love to do and every day just seemed to go by fast for me. I was trying to keep the children busy and it was working for me too. Sometimes I just don't know how people can just sit around and watch the children or even just play with them. When I do that, the day goes by so slow for me. I just felt the energy of God just going throug...

         I got the best compliment today at work. I couldn't ask for a better one especially after the week of my baptism. It was so random too. I found it kind of strange but it felt good that someone could just see who I truly am just through my actions and the way I love the kiddos and my job. This co-worker only been in my room for two days so that means she really hung out with me for two days. I would see her in the halls and around the building but never spent more then a few mins with her so she was right on.         The compliment was "You are a God-person, aren't you?" and I gave her a look like: what? She, then said, "do you drink?" I said, "No". Then she said, "Not even wine?" And again, I said, "No." The co-worker was like: "Wow!" It is so neat!         I like that name: a God-person. It just has a ring to it. It does explain what kind of person I really am. There isn't much more that I can say becau...

         I know I need a better title for this entry. Maybe I will think of one later or maybe not? If there is any wrong spellings on here without me noticing sorry it has been a day for me with spelling. We don't like each other today for some reason. Anyways, I was going to write this entry in my children blog but my computer is being dumb and I need to write it now so I'm going to write it here. Ok? Ok. It is about one of my little boys at work again and the change he has gone through just in the past 2 or 3 weeks.          When I started this job, I had this little boy in the infant room but then not long after he moved up to the toddlers room now so I have him again. Just seeing the changes he is going through is amazing, even for a "normal" little boy surgery can be so good. He had a hard time talking and relating to his friends. He would cry non-stop upon hours and hours. We just thought he wasn't ready to talk yet and that he w...