Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

         2020 was a hard year for most of us. It was the year of the COVID sickness. It was the year of staying home. It was the year of doing everything virtual. It was also the year of staying away from people and wearing masks. Yet I am trying to look at how I bloomed during this hard year and I know of some of the ways that I have. This year might have been hard but I have bloomed so much at the same time during this year and got to do things I would never have gotten to do. I am looking how I bloomed because "bloom" was my word of the year this year. It is strange because we all had to bloom in a lot of different ways. Strange how God works sometimes, huh?             Here are some of the things that come right to mind when I think of blooming in 2020: -Got a new job. - I made closer friends at work. - I connected with some of the kids that I thought    I wouldn't at the start of the year. -Been through 3 directors at...

         I actually wrote this entery down in a notebook about a week ago but I. Just now getting the chance to write it here. I was so down in the dumps this December because of everything going on but after writing this out (aka my feelings), I felt better and wanted to do a lot more things like wrap more presents and bake a lot. It was like once I let things leave my shoulders, I could feel Christmasy again. That's a feeling that should never leave me. Anyways, here is what I wrote in my notebook:                It is a very strange Christmas/December for me. The strangest thing is I don't feel like I should this time of year. Doesn't feel right to me. Now since I can remember, Christmas has been my favorite holiday and still is. I call myself the Christmas baby but that has another story behind it. I love shopping, giving gifts, sending cards, family and friends, and teaching Christmas to my kids. I went into this Dece...

The snow is falling as I make my way back home. I feel so grateful I have somewhere I can go. But in troubled times like these, with all the ones in need, its Christmas time, so ,Jesus, I'm before you on my knees. We pray for joy. We pray for peace, from the west unto the east. And that every man may find someone to love. (find someone to love) We pray for strength. We pray for light. And on this holiest of nights, deliver hope where there's despair. (hope where there's despair) Jesus, hear our Christmas prayer. I pray that I become what you would have me be. That I would give as much as you have given me. In a world that's torn apart, heal the hatred in our hearts. Its Christmas time and there's no better time for us to start. We pray for joy. We pray for peace, from the west unto the east. And that every man may find someone to love. (find someone to love) We pray for strength. We pray for light. And on this holiest of nights, deliver hope where there's despai...

This was the sermon from last Sunday at my church. Here are 3 different behaviors for people from the book of Proverbs: -Wise -Foolish -Evil. I am going to tell you some characteristics of those three behaviors. First is the WISE. -"Wise people seek wisdom." -"The wise person sees the light, takes it in, and make adjustments."-Henry Cloud -Traits of the WISE            -listens to feedback            -say thank you           -own their mistakes           -won't repeat problems           -relationships are strengthened through instruction            -Feeling: Remorse The next behavior I am going to tell you about is the FOOLISH kind. -"The fool tries to adjust the truth so he/she doesn't have to adjust to the truth."-Henry Cloud -Traits of a FOOL:             -Give excuses       ...

          I might get a lot of hate because I am writing this but I don't care. You don't know me so you can't judge me and of you know me you won't judge me.  Prayer:          Dear Daddy,                  So election day 2020 is finally over! Can we get back to normal now instead of worse? I've never been more scared or interested in the election then this year. Lord, I do agree that we need You though really bad. Please sweep through this nation and heal this land. Calm every mind and body tonight. Restore our strength so we can start anew. Renew our minds. Cast out anything that's not of You. Please lead our President whoever he may be. He is human too. People forget that sometimes. Lead us back to rightousness again. Makes us the strong country again with people who love no matter what. Heal broken families. Feed the pour. Take away the drugs. Take away the sins. Care for the children...

              I have been at home for 2 weeks now because a child at my job tested positive for Covid-19 so we had to shut the place down. During those two weeks, I have been doing virtual learning with my children. I don't like teaching virtual because I can't see the kids and make them do the things I want them to do. I know that sounds bad but I'm just worried that they're not learning like they should be.              I'm also worried about how their home life is while they're at home. I think most of my kids are doing pretty good but I just wish they would get on or I would get a response from the parents of some kind. Last Friday I did a live circle time and I only had one kid show up to it. I had to tape it and send it by email to the rest of the kids. I have also heard from two,out of my three, kids. Then my co-teacher has heard from two out of three of her kids.             ...

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." -Hebrews 13:8 "Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead." -Philippians 3: 13 b "For It is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." -Philippians 2:13 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------             I cannot help but have these words find my friend long ago still ring in my ears.             "It's good that we all changing/growing because if we weren't God can it work in us."so in that case change is good. And change is also good because Jesus is always the same so nothing really changes there. There's no change. He is always the same so why not think about that doing changes and you might not even notice the change.              But what if the change is good and you do want to notice it? I mean changes from someone passing to changing ...

           The title might sound like a political title but it's not. I'm writing this entry for myself so I can remember this feeling years from now. The USA has been on my mind lately especially since yesterday was 9/11. And just to the people know and in mind myself I was crying during writing this entry. Where has the unity of the America right after 9/11 gone today. I remember that as a country we were all together after the crashes.                Even during the crashes, We were all watching it happen somewhere on TV or heard about it at least. It brought families, friends, neighbors, and all kinds of people together. I remember being in my 8th grade science class for watching the TV when this happened. I remember my dad, the superintendent, coming in the classroom and telling my science teacher about the first plane hitting. That is when my teacher turned on the TV for us to watch. Then I think it was later th...

Love Better -Loving the Diverse Neighbor         -John 17:20-23         -Gal. 5:13-15         -Gen. 1:26-27         -Acts 10:34-35 -God is showing me how to love Hispanics in AR, not just in their own country.  -My mission field like I've always wanted. Now more then ever. Have that chance this year at Headstart. Few kids for now, all Hispanic.  -God has me around at least one of every people group that I can love.               -Hispanic               -Singles               -Homeless               -Disabilties  -Romans 15 -Live our distance neighbors better by:             -In your diversity, live in Harmony.             -Know your part in God's story.             -P...

                 I just got done with my first week of school at a preschool/headstart in 2020 with kids and it was hard at first but by the end of the week it got a little bit easier. I was so worried and anxious about how things were going to go. I think that is why the first couple of days were hard. I couldn't think about things normally like I know what and how to do them before this whole COVID because everything changed I had to rethink and retrain my mind. I had to remember all the things they trained us on weeks before through video chat. I mean how can you remember things that way. I know I can't. I am a visual learner.                    The major changes that the headstart where I worked at had to make were how the parents came in or didn't come in. Teachers had to wear masks all day even outside in the 90 degree weather for recess. We had to put our masks in a baby bottle drying c...

Here is what my headstart center is changing and doing so far:  -10 out of 20 children in classroom -other 10 children on computer -hours changed 7:30-2:30 for children -still 7:30-3:30 for teachers -extra hour for teachers to clean -4 days a week for children -all week for teachers Friday without children for planning and AMI -CPR training over the computer-teaching part -Some will come later and do in person training with dolls -doing art boxes for each child -parents can't come in to drop off, using different doors then the front door -teachers wearing masks all day even outside -teachers can get written up for not wearing masks even when children aren't there  -little containers to out masks in during lunch -schudle change because hours have shorten -break the room in half but children can go everywhere -no more family style lunch -parents have schudle times to drop off and pick up - if parents are really late, can't let them in -have to clean outside toys once a week -...

"Pray as if it depends on God, and work as it all depends on you."-pastor "Prayer is profoundly simple, yet simply profound."-pastor "After valleys come mountain tops. Keep working towards the mountain tops! It's worth it!- said by my Mom

     Today's church sermon while listening online.            There are two roadblocks to Peace. They are:           -When noise drowns out wisdom.                      -"It's time to TURN OFF the noise of the world, and TURN UP the wisdom of God."           -When Passion goes over principal.                      -"Most of our fights are driven by our passions. War starts on the inside of a person and shows on the outside." -James 1:7- the Wisdom of God. -James 3:16- the wisdom of the world.         There are 5 steps of how to be people of peace. Those 5 steps are in James and they are verses 7 and 8. Here are the 5 steps: -Get out of the driver's sit. -Silence the lies. -Nuture your relationship with God. -Remove the dirt. -Realign your heart with God. Al...

          Jesus prayed a lot in Luke. He was teaching people to pray during that part of his ministry. He prayed for a lot of different things. He was lonely, for friends and mean people, to his Father, etc. He went to a place where He was alone to pray. He didn't want to show off. Here are 7 of His prayers from Luke:  -"Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed" (Luke 5:15–16). -"One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles: Simon (whom he named Peter), his brother Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Simon who was called the Zealot, Judas son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor."- (Luke 6:12–16). -"Therefor...

           I never had more of a confirmation then just now during my Bible study time. For a few days in a row, these past couple of weeks, all I could think to pray about was peace, love, compassion, and forgiveness. You might see a prayer or two on here about that. Well, God brought me to a Psalm that had three of those things in it. Now to me that is showing me that we really need those things in the world today. Here are those three things worded in the Bible: -Peace-Psalm 61:2 -Steady Love-Psalm 61:7 -Good Faith.-Psalm 62:7 I've been praying for the Peace and the Love. Never thought about the Faith til now. I will throw this out there too. Psalm 61 talks about how we should handle it and how to pray for our leaders that are dealing with it now. Anyone that's dealing with it because we can pray these things for them.             Then I got to thinking about what other words can describe these words. I started thinking...

June 10th, 2020 -All Lives Matter To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable:10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”  - Luke 18:9-14 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We are a world full of "Pharisees". Everyone thinks they are better than the next person. Everyone is mad at everyone else. They are so confident in their own...

"Pray the hardest, when it is the hardest to pray."   Facebook post-  I am going to say something stronger on here then I usually do but it has nothing to do about politics or which side I am on so please take it into consideration. I know all my friends and family are smart and know me so they know where this is coming from. I am not trying to start anything. It is just my missionary heart speaking in this time of need for the world. Trust me I have been struggling with some of the same things and I am scared because of how close it hits home for me. I'm not too proud to say on Facebook that I have been crying a lot lately with things going on but that's me again. Here it is: "Why can't I think how to pray? It's not the time to lose it. It's time to do it! How, Daddy, How? Is the world so messed up? That different from even a year ago? We all want Peace, Love, Forgiveness, and Compassion. So why won't we  just listen instead of fight. Why won...

Beautiful Diversity Beautiful Diversity is what makes the World a beautiful place. It comes in Many shapes, colors, and sizes. It is Very unique. It never comes in the same  Package. That's what makes it so Beautiful.   Diversity is something that God does  beautifully. He makes people in His image Which is just beautiful. He makes us  Different because that is needed in the  World. Whether it is color, body ablities,  And so forth. Everyone can do something! That is beautiful diversity! Beautiful Diversity is older people then You because they have wisdom to pass Down. They have been through things That you are going through now. They  Are also the gentler generation. They  Have been through so much. More then We could ever think of. Times are  Different but we can still learn from them In some way. Diversity is something this world needs. Can you just imagine if we were all the Same race? Can you imagine if nature  Was all the same rac...

Church Sermon notes from May 17th, 2020 . -Luke 6:17-26 -Why do we got to church?            -We desire to be like Christ. -Love is Christ!           -1 Cor. 13 -What does a follower of Jesus look like?                -Look at Chapter 6 -The Beatitudes            -They are in Luke and Matthew in 2 different semons. -The Sermon on the Plain               -Luke 6 -The Sermon on the Mount                 - Matthew 5 -John 6:63 Did this open your eyes? Did you see how God wants us to act? It is so important! He goes over it more then one time.             

Sunday, May 24th Online Church Sermon Notes Look up the verses and see if you can make sense and learn something from these church notes. -Luke 6:17-26 -Luke 6:20 -Luke 6:24 -Psalm 1         -Good then bad section by section pattern-aka poetic writing -Duet. 28:1-8           -Blessings are  the action, not feeling. -Deut. 28:15-22            -Woes are the actions, not feeling. -Luke 6:20-23            -Blessings are feelings/additudes          - Luke 6          -Woes are feelings too.  -Nothing can take away the blessings I have in Christ.

           This is a story about a girl with anxiety and COVID-19. The girl had a hard time when the news about this sickness came out. She worked for a week without her kids and then she was done and on a break. A break would have been fine and she was so happy to get one but she is going on month two. She isn't really complaining. The first month out was fun because she got to spend it with her parents. She got to do crafts and baking with her mom. Her dad helped out her boyfriend. They both helped her dad with jobs outdoors. She totally forgot about the sickness.                  But that is when she thought she was going back May 1st, now she isn't going back til June 1st. She has another month to just sit around the house. Yes, she still has crafts and writing and hobbies to do but you can only do so much in a row. She is also missing her kiddos. She is trying to do videos for them but she needs more ideas. ...

What Are You Rushing Back To? What part of normal are you  rushing back to?  Are you rushing make just to  make money? Are you rushing  back because you are tried of being at home? We are asking these questions but these  questions are not what we should  be asking at all.  Use this time to think about  what is more important to  rush back to and why. It is more important to go  get your nails done? Is it more  important to go eat out? Is it  more important to get you hair  cut? Are those things more normal to you?  They might have been normal to you before this whole virus started. But have you consider  these things while you were  made to stay home? Are they  still really that important to  you or have your thoughts  change since you have been  home? Are there other things  that you wish you could make  normal a...

Dear Daddy,             Turn me into a minister at heart. Keep opening people's heart around to hear You through me. I love talking scriptures with people. Talking about what You are teaching me through them. Let me pray with people too. That would seal the deal for me. Maybe I do need to say some prayers out loud? Be the example. Show people that they can just talk to You without knowing what to say. Give me the courage to do that much. I want to do ministry and have the heart to do it so push me I pray. I know it's dangerous but still do it. Daddy, I love you, too.  In Christ's name,  Amen

           Well, I thought I better get this entry done before I go things open back up on May 4th, if they are going to. I want to say that even though this time might be hard and really busy for some, it was calm and fun for me. Just because I say that I am not taking away from the serious of it all. I am just telling you how I turned it around for me. Giving you ideas maybe and seeing it could possibly be a good time if we let it. That's my main goal because if you know me I could have turned this whole thing into a big anxiety attack/fit. To be honest, earlier on in life I would have.              Here we go: I have started going deeper into 2 new hobbies, spent time with my parents, spent time with God in a new Bible study, spent time with my boyfriend, and looked at it has a time to relax. First one I'm going to talk is spend time with my parents and boyfriend at the same time. My boyfriend and I went up to my parent...

           Here is the sermon that my parents' church taught us this morning. It was really insightful and meaningful to me. Really showed me another way that God really does love me. It was about Jesus being the bridegroom for all of us. He also used old Jewish wedding traditions back during Jesus' time to explain the relationship Jesus wants to have with us.  Here are the verses: -Gen. 2:19-24           -Main verse used in this part was: verse 24 -Luke 5:22-27 Here is a link you can go to to read about an old Jewish wedding: https://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/revelation/related-topics/the-jewish-wedding-analogy.html -Jesus brought us with a cost, aka the cross, just like a husband brought a wife.  -Jesus left His 11 "friends" after 40 days. -Jesus is preparing a place for us in His House. -Jesus will come back after our place is ready to get us.  -How does the bride wait for her bridegroom?     ...

            I've thought about it and seen a lot of posts on Facebook about how yes, this is a hard week for America but it was for Jesus too. It was also hard for his disciples. The more I think about it the more I can't help but think all of this is God's Timing for something. We might not know why this is happening now but we will in the future. Now which future I don't know.               There is hope through Jesus. I strongly believe that is what this whole sickness is teaching is or one of the many things. When things get bad, we have to know that there is hope at the end of the tunnel.                This is the week that Jesus went through the hard things and the worst things before hope came to us. Jesus was betrayed and arrest. He went before the council and his best friend, Peter, denied Him three times. Then, He was delivered to Pilate and he delivered Jesus to be c...

Let us Pray.  Eternal Father, You made the whole world stop spinning for awhile. You silenced the noise that we all have created You made us bend our knees  again and ask for a miracle.  You closed Your churches so we will realize how dark our world is without You in it.  You humble the proud  and powerful.  The economy is crashing, businesses are closing.  We were very proud, we thought that everything  we have, everything we  possess was the result of  our hardwork.  We have forgotten that it was always Your grace and mercy that made us who we are.  We’re like running in circles looking for some cure to this disease but in fact it takes humility to ask for Your wisdom.  We’ve been living our lives like  we will be here on earth forever, like there’s no heaven. Maybe these trials are Your  mercy in disguise.  Maybe this virus is actually  Your way of purifying us,  cleansing our soul, bringing...

        I am not posting it as a potical anything. I am posting it and hoping that people will use this prayer as outline to start praying really hard for the things that we need to pray for in this moment in time.            Instead of praying for my family even though they need it, pray for people you know on the front lines or just those kind of people in general. Pray for the nursing home. Pray for our nation and government.            JUST PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is what will get us through! Dear Daddy,         I have to admit it now. I am really scared. After reading about everyone wearing a mask I am scared. Is it time? Would the President and government really make that a rule?            I'm scared for my family. I have a sister as a nurse, another sister is a teacher, my big brother and his family lives in New Jersey, my little brother is...

Just so I never forget..... April 2, 2020 -Gas is down under $2.00 for the first time in my life. -School postponed for now, they are doing it from home online. -Some seniors won't have their graduation or prom. Some of them won't get to play their sport or concerts for the last time. -Daycares in AR still open but my Headstart is closed -Wal-Mart's big home office employees are working from home. -Tape on the floors at grocery stores and others to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other. -Limited number of people inside stores, therefore, lineups outside the store doors. -Stores having open hours just for senior citizens because they are the ones most at risk. -Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed. -Parks, trails, entire cities locked up. -Entire sports seasons cancelled. -Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events - cancelled. -Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings - cancelled. -No funerals for those who pass. -No masses, churches are...

            I am doing it. I am going crazy and it's only been a week for me. I don't know how I am going to make it the other two weeks. I don't know if I can take it if it gets worse. I knew the world was off  too easy of a start in 2020. We were getting full of ourselves, weren't we? Away from people. Away from family. Away from Love. Away from God. It's sad how hard this really is. It is sad how we need the rush of everyday left to get us to sleep or make us feel worthy.               Personally, I am trying to do things and be creative but it is driving me nuts. I have a few hobbies that I am trying to start. Maybe if I knew when this all would end I would enjoy things a little bit more. Right there, lays the problem. I hate worrying about things. I want to make plans but if they are long plans I might not be able to get them done because I don't know how long this will last.         ...

This is a prayer for this day and time. I just picked out a few lines from these two chapters that popped out at me and that I really needed right now. Hope it helps you too!  Dear Daddy, Give me relief from my distress. Search my heart and let me be silent. I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. Trust in the Lord. I run for cover to You. You welcome us with open arms. We dwell in safety because You surround us with a shield. You will bless the righteous.  In Your name, Amen

In God's Eyes You Are Irreplaceable. You are irreplaceable because He made only One of you.  You are beautiful, gentle, talented, and kind hearted.  No one can ever replace you even if they try. You are one in a million in God's eyes.  In God's eyes you are irreplaceable. You are beautiful.  You have the color of your eyes for a reason. Your hair is that color for a reason. God made your skin that color because He needed it that color.  God needed to use you like that. He has a speical plan for you. In God's eyes you are irreplaceable. You are gentle. You don't fight back but turn your back. You try to encourage even when they don't Hear you. You don't yell but use a soft voice because That gets their attention for you. God is that gentle and He wants you to be Like Him. In God's eyes you are irreplaceable. You are very talented. God has given a special and unique talent For a reason. You are at that place and job for a reason. God knew you could handle ...

During this time of our lives, it might be crazy. You might be out of work or working from home. Your kids might be out of school and having to do it at home online. You maybe working at work but without people or children. Whatever your case may be, here are some things God reminds us to do: -Chew on Scripture day and night. -Bear fruit every month because we are trees. -Always be in blossom (aka always keep growing in the Word.) -Worship God in an adoring embrace. -Run towards God, not away from Him. -Celebrate the good times and small things in awe. -Rest so we can stand tall and steady in these hard times. While we are doing these things, what is God doing for us? -Watches over the way of the righteous. -Shields us on all sides. -Ground our feet. -Lift our heads high so we can see Him in everything. These are just the first two chapters of Psalm. I am trying to read a chapter a day to keep me sane. Anyone want to join me?

       I have a word and a phase that I am going to work on growing in this next year in 2020. The word is: Bloom. The phase is: Bloom to Plan. After I explain my phase, you will understand why I picked it.          The word "Bloom" is a good word for me because there are some areas where I need to Bloom in and make those areas stronger. The area of planning is one area I really need to Bloom in. That is where the phase of the year comes in and makes sense. People might say that I have already bloomed a Lot this past year but I know I could Bloom more after learning a lot this year. Being a girlfriend for a year, taught me a lot and opened up my eyes a lot more.              I have 5 main steps and things that I learned but that is another entery for another time. Those 5 things are what I need to Bloom in and right now one of those 5 things are "planning better". Bloom to Plan. This past year showed me how ...