A Fishing Saturday

         I know I have't wrote in a long time and I am sorry about that. I just had a busy week this past week with long working hours and then coming home and sleeping it off. My body hasn't been its normal self either and I'm trying to figure that out so altogether it has been a pretty busy week. I have also been writing in another journal for my health instead of this one because that is important and that takes time too. This entry is going to be about the Saturday I needed after a long work week.
         I had a prefect Saturday yesterday and a memorable one too.  I met my family at Roaring River and went fishing for about 3 hours. It was an outing for my dad's birthday, which is today. Everyone one was almost there expect 1 sister and her family, my sister in law, and some of the nieces couldn't make it either. That place has been in the family for years and everyone in the family as learned to fish there one way or another. It is one of my dad's favorite spots to go fishing, if not his favorite.
         I got to see my nephews catch two each. I also got to see one of my nieces and her friend, that has never been fishing, catch 1 each and hear them scream when they caught it. My dad also caught his limit (4 fish) within the a hour that they were there. They got there earlier then I did. I caught my limit and that was a first in 28 years that I have been going there so that is another memorable moment for me. I think it took me about 2 hours to get me limit but there was 3 hours in between those two hours that I didn't catch anything. Then of course I had to go back and see the Springs like always no matter if it looked the same or not but it didn't this time. It had a floodgate on it because of the flood that happened there a few months ago.
          It kind of messed up the feeling of it just a little for me, at least but you still got the main beauty of it and great pictures of the springs too if you took the picture up and down. We, of course, went to clean the 15 fish that we caught after we were done fishing. Then we went to have lunch and dessert at the eating place on the hill. It was a beautiful log cabin like inn and the eating place was inside it. I got a roast beef sandwich with French Dip to dip it in and with French fries as my side. Then my oldest sister carefully brought in my dad's favorite dessert of all time (aka the family's favorite dessert of all time), which was Marshmallow Dessert and we each had a piece of it there.
          I learned something yesterday and with everything that has happened in my life recently it was a great feeling all around. I haven't been able or was scared to go to and drive to that place (Roaring River) on my own because you know how I am with directions. I would never what to meet my parents there in the 3 or 4 years they were going almost every weekend and while I've been here in AR. I found out yesterday that it isn't that hard to get too on my own. That whether it is fishing or some other outdoor activity that a family does together, it really does bring back the memories and as you continue to get older, you continue to love it more and more.
          You realize that you want to make all the memories you can with who you have with you because we never know when life is really going to end, only God knows that. There's times I wouldn't think I was an outdoors girl/women but as I get older, I like to spend time outdoors especially with my family and parents because that is how they raised us even though we might have not liked it back when we were young. I even spend outdoor times with my friends if they would let me. I'm either the coffee shop or the outdoors type of friend. I would not go shopping at a mall or watch a movie when hanging out all the time. It does calm the soul when you spend time out in God's Creation. It just has that spiritual connection especially when you are getting things from it like fish, turkeys, or even deer.
           God's Creation can and does make your soul well. It is the medince above all medince. :)

Life Based on Christ

"I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life you will fill me with joy in your presence with eternal pleasures at your right hand."- Psalm 16:8-11 (NASB)

"Let us acknowledge the Lord;
    let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
    he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
    like the spring rains that water the earth.”

                 - Hosea 6:3 (NIV)

             God has given me these verses this past week. I got the verses out of Psalm by my preacher last Saturday at church and I loved how he described them. The verse from Hosea is one that I got from a friend this past week and I just thought that it went to with God was teaching me last week at church and is still teaching me in life. It means a lot of things to me right now. I am in an area where I have to make some hard decisions. I mean I love where I am at now but the question is: do I really want to stay here or can I go on to something bigger? 
           I can give you a little more information on the Psalm verses (8-11) from the sermon last Saturday. The sermon was about being a community called by Christ. Our preacher went over three special words and those words were: Gospel, Centered, and Community. Not hard to guess, huh? The preacher shared these verses when he was talking about being centered on God. You might ask me why. It is because when we are so firm in Christ, we have that purpose or path that we can follow for and with Him. You will see later that I explain it more in this entry. 
           The preacher also shared his life purpose with the church and I think it is a good one for all Christians to have. It was: "The purpose of life is to intimacy with God by setting Jesus continually before us in all things." I don't know about everyone that is reading this but I do know that for my own personal life, I want to make that my life purpose now. I think remembering these two verses that I found through people will help me live that way or at least strive to live that way since no one is really perfect. Another thing my preacher pointed out after he said the life purpose was that being a Christian is a long life progress. We can't not win it or change to it overnight. We have to wake up and give every day to God and trust Him with it and because we are not perfect we fail everyday so that is another reason why it is a progress. We learn from our mistakes and keep on living. 
           The verses are all about following the path God has for us. These verses are good to memorize and always have with you to help you get through things. It just goes to show how God is there for us no matter what kind of day we are having. It also shows us that we should talk to Him throughout the day. They are about God being with us and guiding you on the path that He wants us to be on. He will never leave nor forsake us. He will always go in front of us and prepare the way for us. He will give you the joy, security, and we will be given more then we can ever think of when we think and acknowledge Him. God will come to us and refresh us when we need it just like the rain refreshes the earth in the Springtime. He will be there everyday when we wake up just like the sunrise is. God will do all of this if we just keep our eyes on Him everyday and through the tough times. We should tell Him our praises and tell Him what we are thankful for as we go through the day. 
           I'm writing this advice and verses on here now because when I found or heard the verses I thought how neat it would have been if someone found the same verses and gave them to me at a younger age but now here I am at the age of 28, just now finding those verses in the Bible. These verses are great ones to remember and live by. Just knowing that Christ and God is before you in everything and on the path you are one should make you at least feel comfortable. 
           I know for me when I remember and read these verses they also give me peace and trust in God. He knows what I am going through because He has already been there getting it ready for me. Are you going to let God walk before you so you can live the purpose that He has for your life? Are you going to be so centered on Him that you don't see the sinful world around you? The choice is yours. 

Three Years and Writing

         Today is the start of the 3rd year that I have been writing about my life in this blog. That means that this blog is the longest one that I have kept going, if you don't count my prayer journals. I have kept them since the start of my college years and still going with them. To be honest, I do look back and read some of the entries that I have read over the past years. They are just great reminders of what I have been through and to where I am headed.
          Whether I read this on the computer or from my copied ones, they encourage me everytime I read them. I started this blog after a year of living in AR and since then AR has been my life and an adventure for me. If you have kept up with this blog, you could tell that it is really an adventures with all the crazy things going on, hard times, and what God has been teaching me throughout the years. It seems like my life is only getting better, which is a great thing. As I go on into this next year of writing on here, it will be filled with bigger and better adventures. I feel like God is calling me to something bigger and better.
           AR has been my life and it always will be my life and a very important part of my life and so will this whole story. I have been amazed at how when you write your thoughts and feelings out that they really do help you get through life whether you just needed that break through while writing it or needed to look back on something to remember why you are where you are now. This blog has been both for me as you can tell. I had some fun experiences that I didn't want to forget so I wrote them down and then I just had too many thoughts for that one month that I had to get out somehow.
           I know I keep saying this often but I will until that day comes if it does. It will be really interesting to remember my AR life this way and reread this someday when I am not in AR anymore or to have my future children read what their mommy went through as a single person in her 20s. It would be really fun to see how my girls will react. I think it would help them more then anything but my boys would be interested to and it might help them to understand girls better.
          I don't know what else to say. I wanted this entry to be a deep and focused one about something that is going on in my life right now that I could relate the 3 years to but I guess it is just to say that I've been writing in this blog for 3 years now. I can't wait to see what other ideas God brings to my mind to write about in here. To be honest too right now, I have like 8 ideas in my draft folder on this blog so I have been kind of falling behind but I will try and get back up to speed this month. That stinks because this could have been my 500th entry going into my 3rd year but I still have 5 more entries to go after this one for that to happen.

The Whole Church

         "You, Christians." Never thought I would hear those words in my life but I was oh, so wrong after yesterday. Sadly, it came from a person that I work with. I won't tell you everything about her but she seems to be really doubtful of Christians. She even told me once, "I believe in God but I don't go to church." Now with the response she made yesterday, I can see sort of why she doesn't go. She shoves it off like it is no big deal but to me I think it really is to her. She is different when she comes to her beliefs about things.
            She dinfantly does put all Christians in the same group. She doesn't understand that not all of us are the same but yet if she was let down by one Christian then she is let down by all others. I don't know her full story on why she doesn't go to church but the more I talk to her the more it seems like she is feels like she is being judged by the Church and that is not how we are suppose to treat anyone that wants to come and know Christ or testing Him out.
            I thought I was only at my job and that my passion was children but the more and more I see different nationalities and beliefs the more and more I become worried about the future of this world and that is not good for me. I know I can't take on everything but I'm the kind of person who tries because I have that big of a caring heart. I got asked the question by her that I never thought I would get ask or that I would be having a talk about.
            The question or statement was, "So you Christians don't believe in or like all this certain stuff, do you?" I hate it that she does it during the job because I feel like I have to give a sort answer because you can't go deep with those kinds of talks at jobs so I gave her a fast answer. The answer was, "We don't believe in it but it doesn't mean we won't be friends with you or not talk to you." I hope that was a good and fast answer that maybe got her thinking just a little bit.
            I will say that I didn't like how she put me with the Whole Church. I was kind of scared to answer her question and that is just honesty. I have been taught to like everyone for who they are while growing up mainly by my parents. That is just something that they taught us. I have been around enough "different" people to love and talk to anyone. God has given me those chances with missions trips and such so I don't really put much thought into how different people are. It doesn't bother me. When you put me with the Whole Church of today, that did make me feel kind of shameful and really open my eyes up to how much we have gone down as a Whole Church of the Nation.
           In a way, I wanted to be apart from the Whole Church when she said it like that. I don't want people to think of me as a shameful and unloving person. Although I know I am not perfect and never will be, I just want to send a Godly message to those kind of people and today the Whole Church is really not doing that. It is not showing what God's Love can and does really look like. I will say that this girl's nationality is Mexican, which makes me glad because I have been to Mexico before on a mission trip. If it comes down to it, I can talk to her about that to open doors.
           Maybe thinking about this situation was part of the reason that I kept waking up every hour, it seemed like, last night? God was trying to tell me something and He did and it is all written out for others to see. Think about what I just wrote.


Are we really being the Whole Church like God wants us to be?

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

         April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. I will be honest with you all. I did forget about it until the 1st of April and that is when everything popped up on Facebook about it. To be honest, I kind of, did what to forget about it because I'm not in a spot where I can serve or work with those type of children right now. Then I have been thinking about if for the past 5 days and thought that I could write about how I feel now without working with those children. At least, I would be saying something and hopefully make it noticeably to people out there.
         I didn't think it would be a big deal or anything about it when I didn't work at the shelter anymore but it does still affect me. I think it affects me still because I still know that there are more children out there then ever that need our help. I still worry about the children that I helped. I wonder where they are today and if they have a better life yet. That chapter of my story will never go away because it was a lifetime experience that you can't forget. I say "they" I do mean the children that I met at the shelter and all the other abused and neglected children out there.
          I'm still looking for a way that I can help them plus do my everyday job that I have now. I have been thinking about volunteering at the shelter again once things change or doing the CASA program for a child or two. I have even thought about helping out at a ranch for troubled youth but I haven't been able to get an application from them yet. There are a lot of ways that you can help the children and do your everyday jobs too. I know that Foster Care is a big thing too. There are more children out there then there are foster homes and that is pretty sad.
          I even thought about doing a foster home once or twice while working at the shelter. To be honest, that is a thought that keep coming back to me over and over again. It might be something that I talk to my future husband about or maybe even adoption. I want to be in this field however I can because it has a place in my heart and always will. People that know me and will get to know me just needs to understand that part of me too. Even though, it is hard to be around 16 or more of those kinds of children a day and I may not be made out for that but I know deep down in my heart that I can help one or two or up to five at a time in some way.
          I will also write some websites and organizations on here that you can look at and see if you can do anything to help them out:

- http://www.nwacasa.org
- http://www.cacbentonco.com
-http://nwacs.org
-http://thecallinarkansas.org


         Just to let you know how I found out about these places. I have a friend involved with the first place and the shelter was also very involved with them as well.
         I have another friend that works at the second place. She has worked there for about 4 to 5 years now. I have been involved with it somewhat at times. I ran their "Glow Run" last year for the first time.
          Then, of course, I worked at the third place for almost 3 years. To be exact, it was 2 years and 7 months there for me.
           Last, I heard about the last program through my church at first and then been doing research on them ever since. They are very involved in the churches around NWA. They are the ones that help create foster homes for children.

         I hope this helped some people think about how they can prevent child abuse either in this month or in the near or far future. You can also look back on this blog and read my stories about the children that I have worked with at the shelter. Any entry that is about a child or children on this blog is about my experience at the shelter. Please take the time to look them up and read them. Thanks.

God Will Provide for His Ways

"Maybe you don't have extra money but you share from what God provides you. God will reward you, and your home will not want."- Compassion International - Oliberto Morales Hernandez-Jenny Beb's pastor


         I have to remember the title off and on especially when I am down and out at times. It helps me with my anxiety and worry. It reminds me that "God will provide for His ways at His time". I really rush things here and there or I want to rush things but I remember that it isn't up to me. If it was, things would go really wrong and they have went wrong before. That's how I learned this lesson. It just hit me more when I was reading a letter from my Compassion International child's pastor. He ended with the above saying. It kind of got me thinking about sponsoring another child from there too.
         I might not have the extra money that I need for life or even to sponsor another child but what is more important. Money or the child? I think the more I share of what I have now the more that God will give me in the long run whether it is money that He is paying back or just good material things or other things. I just know that God always gives back. He will always provide when the tough gets going. To me, when the tough gets going because we are honoring Him or trying to then He will be grateful to us.
         Something that I have thought about a lot this past month or so is buying and owning a house of my own. I know that is going to be tough and cost a lot of money but I also know it is going to be worth it. I have thought about only going back to sponsoring one child for now and saving the other $38.00 dollars for a house but then I get to thinking, "God will provide if He wants both to be done". I also just think that if I can get a house I could use it in so many ways for Him and maybe that will blessed Him even more. Not sure exactly how I am going to do that yet but I'm thinking on it.
         I also had to think of the title a lot because of my low paying job right now that is my passion and my dreams even. God will provide for His ways and everything in His Timing. We just have to remember that and not be so in a rush to get there. We don't need to have a schedule. I will be honest with you, I am going on my 5 years, in August, of living in AR and I am nowhere I planned to be but that doesn't mean that I hate where I am now. God has used some many events and people to get me where I am and I am thankful for that. It was nothing like I planned and I will say it again later in the year but I am grateful for that.
         The quote at the start of this entry was just a good reminder for me that God does provide in His time and in His ways. It might be everyday that I have to remind myself of that quote or a shorter version of the quote but it does help me get through some of the rough patches. When I think that I need a house now because all of my friends have actual houses or I need a guy right now or so on, I say this quote and it just brings peace back into my mind. It helps me remember that God has everything under control and what better why to have it. There is no better way, right?
         It is strange how something so simple and repeated so many times, can have such a impact on the life you are living right now. I know that this saying is one of many people's saying to just shove things off and try to make things okay for you and try a help you sort things out. I mean I have heard it a lot from other people but it does something different when you can say it to yourself and then believe it in for yourself. It is like you are saying it to yourself when you know you truly need it and that it will truly help you in the situation you are in. Get what I am saying?
         I probably have had this entry planned for about a month or little over a month now and I am finally getting around to writing it. I will say that overtime I looked on this blog and see that I still haven't wrote the entry, I would still reread the title and ask myself, "do I need to really write about this or can I delete it and write another entry about something else since it has been so long ago?" It was the last one that I haven't wrote yet in my draft folder. That is how long I had this idea if that tells you anything. Here I am writing the entry because it is still touching my heart and I think it will for a little while longer or at least until I feel at peace about where I am in life right now.
         I hope this entry will encourage some other people to wait on God's Timing because He will provide for us what we need at the right time in His own Ways. We can have everything planned and figured out but God is the last person who gets a say in everything in our lives or at least He should be the last person to get that call. I know He is in mine now. Is He the person who get the last call in your life?

Lord, Prepare Me

"Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."-Proverbs 31:11-12
"She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls." -Proverbs 31:15
"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night." -Proverbs 31:17-18
"She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspread. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders."-Proverbs 31:20-23
"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness."-Proverbs 31:25-27
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." -Proverbs 31:30-All these verses are from the NLT version of the Bible.

 "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives."-Galatians 5:20-25 (NLT)

           These are a few verses that came to mind when I was thinking about how the Lord could and is preparing me as a wife for someday. The Lord is giving me jobs that also has helped and prepared me to become that wife and mother that I always wanted to be. Like right now, I am a lead teacher and it is helping me become more patience, have more self-control, and know what peace looks like along with many other things. 
          The job has also helped me notice what I am good at and what special gifts I have that it is really crazy. It has showed me that I could be lazier but I am a hardworking type of gal. It also shows me that I will do anything for the children at my job even if it means working from or at home. I will even spend money on them if it makes learning more fun for them. It shows that I am extending my hands to the poor and needy. It might not be the kind we think about but they are little children in need of learning things like how to walk, how to color, and other things like that. 
           I know I need to work on those things more because those things plus more are never-ending things for a child or even for me to learn. Most of the time, I learn how to be a person and how to be more grateful from the children themselves then I do from myself. That is why I love working with children. They are so outspoken and don't even think about what they are saying and most of the time it is what we need to hear. 
            They are some things I need to work on too. Things like dressing up more often and I think again this job as helped me with that. I need and want to make and sew more things but it is hard when it is only you living by yourself. That one might have to wait. I feel that I am praised a lot more at this job and that they see pass what I do and push me to what I can do and I love that challenge. They know I can do things and will do things if I am pushed most of the time. They take my college degree into account. 
             It is just strange how a job can prepare you for life but then again my job is a job that a mother and women should do everyday if they have children. I know I will need to learn these verses over with each stage of life and children's life but at least I have a good feeling about what it is suppose to feel like. I even got a good feeling of what a wife is suppose to be like. She is suppose to be there a support her husband no matter what the cost is or how she does it. It can be seeing him face to face or through prayer or both. 
             I just need to be that kind of wife that will enrich his and bring him good all the days of his life. I need to be a wife that a guy can trust with everything and anything. I am really trying to be that wife. I know I might need to back off in some situations a little bit more then others and I am trying. I  think I am getting better at it then I was when I was younger but you can never stop that especially when your guy's or husband work is growing to where he wants it to be or going up the ladder to where he wants to be. 
             Life is all about learning because there is so many different stages of life. We have to learn in every single stage of it. These verses are just some that I am going to keep with me and in my mind for the years to come. In a strange way. they have already been in my mind so I can't let them go. It is something I always have strived for and always will. It is a dream that I want to come true for me. 

So Lord, Prepare Me and keep preparing me in Your Eyes, not the world's eyes.