"It is a hard decision because you have to really pray and figure out if this is something you want or God wants. That is the hardest part of this whole thing is putting your thoughts and feelings aside and only hearing God. I think if you are able to do that every thing else will answer itself. God is always growing us and changing us, and it is good not to be comfortable, because if you are comfortable you are not open to the change God could be making in you. God had just slightly changed the path he wanted me to walk down."
"I know people hear this a lot but you must prayer. Sometimes we want the answers so fast we forget who to ask the question to. Pray for wisdom, guidance and for His Will to be done." I hope God put the answers on your heart......all in His Timing of course." - From a Friend
I always look at this saying and think that it is very challenging. At the same time, every time I look at this saying God always teaches me something new from it. I could have have looked at this saying 3 years since it has been written and even 6 years since then and more but each time it has been a different situation in my life and each time I have learned something new from this saying. It is funny when one saying can keep pushing you to new levels of things in your life like this one does for me. What I am going to write about in this entry is what it means to mean when I look at it with the eyes of faith. If you want to know what it has mean to me other times, you can look back at some of my other entries because I know I have written about it before too.
This last time that I read it I was going through a Bible study that taught us about the armor of God and it happened to be the week that we were studying about the Shield of Faith. That is why I am writing about it now because I say in in a whole new way. A Faith Way and it really stuck to me. Usually I would see it as "a you can get through this hard time in life" way and "this is what I need at this moment of my life" way. I guess though, that it never really hit me where I needed it to hit me and teach me a certain word in life until that week of Faith. That is when it all came to me even after of 7 years of looking at this saying off and on no matter the season of my life.
It really speaks full heartily about what Faith really is and/or what it should be like. I think this is the best way to describe it and I don't know if my friend thought of it that way when it was written. I asked my friend about a situation in college and this is the answer my friend gave me. I had to make a decision on something and didn't know which way to go. That's why it starts with "this is a hard decision". Then I liked how it said "you have to pray and figure out if this is something God wants or that you want". Isn't that what faith is all about? Seeing what God wants and then stepping out to do it? It is hard for us, humans, to put our feelings and thoughts aside and just listen to God and I would be lying if I said most of the time because it is all of the time at least for me it is.
If we could all just put things aside in this world and listen to God, our lives would be much more fun and fuller then we ever would think of. If we are able to do those two things, then we should be able to follow God where He wants us. My favorite of this saying and I always read this part and stop to think about it too, is: "if God wants us to change then He could be growing and changing us, it isn't good to get comfortable because if we are then we are not open to the changes that God could be making in us".
I always have a hard time getting out of my comfort zone so that is why I love that part so much and why it has been really encouraging to me in the past years. Even if it is just sightly changed, it could make all the different in the world if we take it or not. God has a reason for making changes in our lives and we need to follow Him and do those changes. Have the faith to do those changes! Then it is PRAYER that my friend points out that is really important to and in FAITH. We can't ask the humans around us because they are just as bad as we are. We sometimes or all of the time need to ask for wisdom, understanding, and His Will to be done in our lives. We need to pray that He will show us what He wants us to do or to see.
We are just in such a hurry these days here on earth that we don't stop to think about the answers or to actually listen to God. We go along with the answers we get from our friends, family, and the people around us. I understand that they might want to help us and try their best but something only God knows what is best for us. Then the last part is my favorite part that I will remember forever and that is......."God will put the answers on your heart..........all in His Timing of course. That is one of the things, probably the most important thing, that we need to remember throughout our lives. Everything happens for a reason and all in HIs Timing of course. It is all about putting your Faith in God and stepping out to follow Him. The End.
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Friday, August 12, 2016
Children and Deer Hunting
You might be looking at the title and thinking that I have gone insane. Well, I haven't because those two things are two things that I know a lot and somewhat about. What this entry is going to be about. they go together perfectly. I have thought a lot about my passion this week because of some things going on and some changes going on in my life. I feel like during one of my quite times God brought the idea of deer hunting to my mind to compare them together and understand what it is like to have your passion put down.
I will write down what I got told this week and that was "You don't have a child so you don't know what a mom feels like when her child is not safe in care." It could have been shorter then that but that is how I remembered it. That broke my hear and I started to cry a little. People need to think before they say and how the other person will feel. I know sometimes people slip up and they don't have any idea how the other person feels but I mean think about it for awhile. Here I am 28 years old and single but loving on children. I
I could and do have a hard time trying not to think about being single or not having children of my own. That is why I love and work with the children that I do now and have in all of my life. I might not have my personal children. I do have 11 nieces and nephews that I LOVE dearly and I have worked in the childcare field for 9 years so I have loved more than 200+ children in those 9 years. Another thing is don't tell that I don't know or can't feel pain. I have worked at a children's shelter for 2 and half years, almost 3 years so I really know what pain is.
Pain is seeing a child cry after being taken away by their parents. Pain is knowing that they might not go back or always stay in a foster home. Pain is knowing that you might lose them and all the handwork you have done to help them grow. Pain is knowing that they are children out there that knows all the cuss words in the book. Pain is knowing that there are children out there that eats from the floor and live in really dirty houses. Pain is seeing a child cry hard and nonstop when they have a a lot of lice in their hair that you have to get out. Pain is seeing the child not do something that you would think would be so simple but to them it is not.
The shelter has changed my life and the way I think about loving of the children that I come into reach with. I show my compassion and passion through my actions and loving on them. I was kind of always that way towards children but now I am even more. I understand that moms love their children more then single people do and that both of these passions are different in feelings but don't ever say that I don't know what it is feel like to not have a child safe. I had deep compassion for the children at the shelter so that only means that I'm going to have deeper compassion for my own children, when God is willing to give them to me.
All this to say that I really felt disrespected when that thing was said about my passion and pride. I just came home and cried all night. All I also felt like I was on another plant. Maybe even fighting with the devil because I know what was said was no where near true. Anyone that knows me at all knows I love children more if not the same as their moms. I want the best for them too just like their moms. I will and I have fought for some children non stop. Children are my passion and that is what I live for. To be honest, that is the first time anyone has ever said something like that to me towards my passion and the way I was working.
Usually I would get a lot of praise even from people I didn't know because it is a tough job working with any aged child no matter where they are developmentally or emotionally. I always try my best to help them out. Thinking about how I felt when I was disrespected. just this one time, towards my passion made me think about how a friend of mine is being disrespected too from people that my friend doesn't even know but it can still hit in the wrong spot, all the time and all of the world. You can and will doubt it all because we are all humans and that is where this world takes us. We just have to fight to think positively and towards God.
This is where the deer hunting comes in. I think I can compare it better to because I know what deer hunting means to some people. I mean I grew up in a small deer hunting community. I'll be honest with this and straight forwards. I never really understood what my friend was going through when my friend says that people say a lot of mean things to him. My friend would keep saying I don't care what people say this is where I am suppose to be. God wants me here so I am here. My friend would be so strong in his beliefs and I always found it so encouraging but never know why.
I was proud and still am proud of him for standing up for what he believes in because it does take some guts in today's world especially if you are killing animals. Our diets are so healthy nowadays, we don't think about killing for meat and food. It is just the old farmer's way when there weren't too many fast food places and stores around. I will say one thing for sure after I had to deal with a person putting down my passion and to let you all know deer hunting or really any kind of hunting is my friend's passion. I just thought of this the other night too during my quite time.
I was raised to love on and teach children the schooling way and my friend was raised with a lot of deer hunters in his family and spending a lot of time outdoors. My friend would say that I don't know him that well but I think that phase summed up pretty good what he is all about. If not all of him, pretty much most of him.
I wrote this entry just to say that I learned how to respect other people's passion especially my friend's. I knew it was always a big deal to him but I really didn't know how big it was until someone doubted and put down my passion this week. What I am writing down now is all that I have been thinking about this week since that little situation happened.
I really, really, really, really (think those are enough reallys) respect him a lot now for what he is doing and trying to do and that is not showing how much I really do respect him. I should have respected him this deeply from the very start of what he is doing now. I have grown to respect him more throughout the years slowly. This week it just hit me that I had no idea what he was really feeling and going through with all the downers until I got put down. He is very busy with 3 jobs and I don't think he gets the credit he deserves sometimes. He has been and probably will continue to step out of his comfort zones a lot. I can't write on here how much more I respect him for doing his own thing, now that I have been made fun of because of my passion. I would want the same respect from anyone else for my passion.
That is how children and deer hunting fit together for me! They are both passions and different ways of showing Christ to different kinds of people. That never hurts anyone, does it? If they don't like these two things, then I am sure they are other things out there for them to like. I will say this since it is at the end to help him out. One of my friend's passion is an online hunting show that he is the founder of. The title is: The Huntin' Grounds and you can look it up on Facebook. His website is: www.THG-TV.com. There is some kind of hunting video online every Thursday around 8:00-Central Standard Time.
I will write down what I got told this week and that was "You don't have a child so you don't know what a mom feels like when her child is not safe in care." It could have been shorter then that but that is how I remembered it. That broke my hear and I started to cry a little. People need to think before they say and how the other person will feel. I know sometimes people slip up and they don't have any idea how the other person feels but I mean think about it for awhile. Here I am 28 years old and single but loving on children. I
I could and do have a hard time trying not to think about being single or not having children of my own. That is why I love and work with the children that I do now and have in all of my life. I might not have my personal children. I do have 11 nieces and nephews that I LOVE dearly and I have worked in the childcare field for 9 years so I have loved more than 200+ children in those 9 years. Another thing is don't tell that I don't know or can't feel pain. I have worked at a children's shelter for 2 and half years, almost 3 years so I really know what pain is.
Pain is seeing a child cry after being taken away by their parents. Pain is knowing that they might not go back or always stay in a foster home. Pain is knowing that you might lose them and all the handwork you have done to help them grow. Pain is knowing that they are children out there that knows all the cuss words in the book. Pain is knowing that there are children out there that eats from the floor and live in really dirty houses. Pain is seeing a child cry hard and nonstop when they have a a lot of lice in their hair that you have to get out. Pain is seeing the child not do something that you would think would be so simple but to them it is not.
The shelter has changed my life and the way I think about loving of the children that I come into reach with. I show my compassion and passion through my actions and loving on them. I was kind of always that way towards children but now I am even more. I understand that moms love their children more then single people do and that both of these passions are different in feelings but don't ever say that I don't know what it is feel like to not have a child safe. I had deep compassion for the children at the shelter so that only means that I'm going to have deeper compassion for my own children, when God is willing to give them to me.
All this to say that I really felt disrespected when that thing was said about my passion and pride. I just came home and cried all night. All I also felt like I was on another plant. Maybe even fighting with the devil because I know what was said was no where near true. Anyone that knows me at all knows I love children more if not the same as their moms. I want the best for them too just like their moms. I will and I have fought for some children non stop. Children are my passion and that is what I live for. To be honest, that is the first time anyone has ever said something like that to me towards my passion and the way I was working.
Usually I would get a lot of praise even from people I didn't know because it is a tough job working with any aged child no matter where they are developmentally or emotionally. I always try my best to help them out. Thinking about how I felt when I was disrespected. just this one time, towards my passion made me think about how a friend of mine is being disrespected too from people that my friend doesn't even know but it can still hit in the wrong spot, all the time and all of the world. You can and will doubt it all because we are all humans and that is where this world takes us. We just have to fight to think positively and towards God.
This is where the deer hunting comes in. I think I can compare it better to because I know what deer hunting means to some people. I mean I grew up in a small deer hunting community. I'll be honest with this and straight forwards. I never really understood what my friend was going through when my friend says that people say a lot of mean things to him. My friend would keep saying I don't care what people say this is where I am suppose to be. God wants me here so I am here. My friend would be so strong in his beliefs and I always found it so encouraging but never know why.
I was proud and still am proud of him for standing up for what he believes in because it does take some guts in today's world especially if you are killing animals. Our diets are so healthy nowadays, we don't think about killing for meat and food. It is just the old farmer's way when there weren't too many fast food places and stores around. I will say one thing for sure after I had to deal with a person putting down my passion and to let you all know deer hunting or really any kind of hunting is my friend's passion. I just thought of this the other night too during my quite time.
I was raised to love on and teach children the schooling way and my friend was raised with a lot of deer hunters in his family and spending a lot of time outdoors. My friend would say that I don't know him that well but I think that phase summed up pretty good what he is all about. If not all of him, pretty much most of him.
I wrote this entry just to say that I learned how to respect other people's passion especially my friend's. I knew it was always a big deal to him but I really didn't know how big it was until someone doubted and put down my passion this week. What I am writing down now is all that I have been thinking about this week since that little situation happened.
I really, really, really, really (think those are enough reallys) respect him a lot now for what he is doing and trying to do and that is not showing how much I really do respect him. I should have respected him this deeply from the very start of what he is doing now. I have grown to respect him more throughout the years slowly. This week it just hit me that I had no idea what he was really feeling and going through with all the downers until I got put down. He is very busy with 3 jobs and I don't think he gets the credit he deserves sometimes. He has been and probably will continue to step out of his comfort zones a lot. I can't write on here how much more I respect him for doing his own thing, now that I have been made fun of because of my passion. I would want the same respect from anyone else for my passion.
That is how children and deer hunting fit together for me! They are both passions and different ways of showing Christ to different kinds of people. That never hurts anyone, does it? If they don't like these two things, then I am sure they are other things out there for them to like. I will say this since it is at the end to help him out. One of my friend's passion is an online hunting show that he is the founder of. The title is: The Huntin' Grounds and you can look it up on Facebook. His website is: www.THG-TV.com. There is some kind of hunting video online every Thursday around 8:00-Central Standard Time.
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Going into my 5th Year in AR
I can't believe I am going on my 5th year here in AR. This entry is late because my move in date was the 5th of August. I have no idea what the 5th year holds for me because everything is up in the air right now but I can't wait to find out. I never thought I would make it this long here in AR but God wanted me here for this long so here I am. Five years on the 5th of August. Strange, huh?
This past year has been nothing but really challenging for me. It seems like I say that in every entry I write about my year in AR but I think this one tops them all. I've had some tough descions to be made and I was let down a lot in this past year. Yet everything has made me a bit stronger. I don't even know where to start because a lot has been going on. I know this month is hopefully my last month that I spent living in the apartment that I have been in since I have moved to AR. I am, hopefully, moving into a cheaper one since the rent of this one seems to keep going up and my career doesn't pay that much.
I will be out by the end of August and hopefully in a new one that is in Rogers, AR, which is just down the road from me, really. That is the adventure that I have this year and maybe a new career in the future. That is one change for me that I like that is happening. Another change that I liked is that I gave my life over to Christ again because I really understand what it is like to have a relationship with Christ now and I want to be closer to Him then ever. I notice how much more I need just Him then the humans around me. They can let me down at times but Christ never does.
I have had some great Bible studies too that has helped me grow a lot this past year. I found a new community group that I am apart of now and I like it because it talks about the books of the Bible and sermons from Saturdays in a deep way. I also got done with a Bible study called, "The Armor of God" by Priscilla Shirer. I also did a Beth Moore Bible study and it was called, "Breaking Free" and it was in the Fall (last). I also started a Bible study where we went through a study called, "Me, Myself, and Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild but didn't finish it because I found another community group that I fitted into well.
I added something else to my walk with Christ and that was going to the Joppa House of Prayer with a friend of mine. I started going in January and in a way it is relaxing. I can get my quite time in and some writing time in also. It is a way I can get away from my house and just relax for a bit. I will admit I have met some people that that I was surprised to meet but none the less it is pretty calming. In a way, also, it helps me see things in a different point of view.
I also had a lot of changes in this year and learning new things like who I really am. Of course, I got a new job last September and with that job came a lot of changes. I started out as an assistant teacher for the infant room. Then in January (2016) they moved to the toddler's room as a lead teacher. I liked it because I had the infants that I started out with but they were all 2 by then. Through that change, I have learned a lot about myself and who I was meant to be and also what I really like and don't like. I had to go through a lot of changes when I became the lead teacher. I love the older twos a lot but the just turning one group can be a lot of work and a lot of memorization for me, which I have now.
I had to remember their feeding times, what they ate and when, how to put them to sleep, and certain times for other certain things. When the children change, the parents to do so that can make a huge difference too. You have to learn what the parents want and what their personalities are like again. I was fine with all of this change when it happened slowly but then the end of the school year came and everything happened so fast without knowing anything. I would have two or three new infants come into my room and I would have to know their times for certain things right off the bat.
Not only did I have the children change, I would also have the assistant teachers change every 3 months it seemed like and I would have to repeat myself over and over again. I would always forget something that I was suppose to tell them but not on purpose. I could just never remember what I told and when I told them. I found an easy way to fix that and that was to just right everything down and hang it up on the inside of the doors. That way if I forgot something then they could look inside the doors and find it. I learned how hard a lead teacher has to work and it is not all about just having fun with the children but it is about running a classroom, helping the assistant teachers out, and making sure the children are safe too. There is sure a lot of things for a lead teacher to do and remember.
Just like every year I had some bad things happen too but they also help me grow in my maturity. There is always purpose for the hand things that happen in life. Things like losing friends because they just need a break from you or they move to another state. I have had 2 friends move to other states. One even got married and moved to another state so there is two changes right that but I am happy for her. Just miss her a lot right now. I lost connection with another friend earlier this year but I have been able to talk to her again, which is always good.
Then there are times that guys are totally out of your life because you need to focus on God and yourself. That can be hard at times too. It is just that feeling that women need guys around them all the time but really that is our flesh telling us that. Who we really need us around and with us all the time is God. He is the Only Guy we need with us.
Then there are moments where you have people call out places that you need to grow in like your leadership or communication or remembering. While, those things hurt while they are called out, they could still be good for you in the long run. It should only make you stronger. Then there have been a lot of fights with the devil that I feel I got through with God's help pretty good. I understand some of those, really most of those, places but it is still hard. Then there are moments that you learn what you are capable of and incapable of. God is just teaching you who He made you to be. It can be hard at times but in the long run it is worth it.
My 5th year isn't starting out the easiest right now but then again I wouldn't have any room to grow again if it started out easy. I feel like God is really preparing me for something big this year. We'll just have to wait and see what it is. The part that I am worst at. He is also working on my patience if you can't tell in this entry. :)
This past year has been nothing but really challenging for me. It seems like I say that in every entry I write about my year in AR but I think this one tops them all. I've had some tough descions to be made and I was let down a lot in this past year. Yet everything has made me a bit stronger. I don't even know where to start because a lot has been going on. I know this month is hopefully my last month that I spent living in the apartment that I have been in since I have moved to AR. I am, hopefully, moving into a cheaper one since the rent of this one seems to keep going up and my career doesn't pay that much.
I will be out by the end of August and hopefully in a new one that is in Rogers, AR, which is just down the road from me, really. That is the adventure that I have this year and maybe a new career in the future. That is one change for me that I like that is happening. Another change that I liked is that I gave my life over to Christ again because I really understand what it is like to have a relationship with Christ now and I want to be closer to Him then ever. I notice how much more I need just Him then the humans around me. They can let me down at times but Christ never does.
I have had some great Bible studies too that has helped me grow a lot this past year. I found a new community group that I am apart of now and I like it because it talks about the books of the Bible and sermons from Saturdays in a deep way. I also got done with a Bible study called, "The Armor of God" by Priscilla Shirer. I also did a Beth Moore Bible study and it was called, "Breaking Free" and it was in the Fall (last). I also started a Bible study where we went through a study called, "Me, Myself, and Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild but didn't finish it because I found another community group that I fitted into well.
I added something else to my walk with Christ and that was going to the Joppa House of Prayer with a friend of mine. I started going in January and in a way it is relaxing. I can get my quite time in and some writing time in also. It is a way I can get away from my house and just relax for a bit. I will admit I have met some people that that I was surprised to meet but none the less it is pretty calming. In a way, also, it helps me see things in a different point of view.
I also had a lot of changes in this year and learning new things like who I really am. Of course, I got a new job last September and with that job came a lot of changes. I started out as an assistant teacher for the infant room. Then in January (2016) they moved to the toddler's room as a lead teacher. I liked it because I had the infants that I started out with but they were all 2 by then. Through that change, I have learned a lot about myself and who I was meant to be and also what I really like and don't like. I had to go through a lot of changes when I became the lead teacher. I love the older twos a lot but the just turning one group can be a lot of work and a lot of memorization for me, which I have now.
I had to remember their feeding times, what they ate and when, how to put them to sleep, and certain times for other certain things. When the children change, the parents to do so that can make a huge difference too. You have to learn what the parents want and what their personalities are like again. I was fine with all of this change when it happened slowly but then the end of the school year came and everything happened so fast without knowing anything. I would have two or three new infants come into my room and I would have to know their times for certain things right off the bat.
Not only did I have the children change, I would also have the assistant teachers change every 3 months it seemed like and I would have to repeat myself over and over again. I would always forget something that I was suppose to tell them but not on purpose. I could just never remember what I told and when I told them. I found an easy way to fix that and that was to just right everything down and hang it up on the inside of the doors. That way if I forgot something then they could look inside the doors and find it. I learned how hard a lead teacher has to work and it is not all about just having fun with the children but it is about running a classroom, helping the assistant teachers out, and making sure the children are safe too. There is sure a lot of things for a lead teacher to do and remember.
Just like every year I had some bad things happen too but they also help me grow in my maturity. There is always purpose for the hand things that happen in life. Things like losing friends because they just need a break from you or they move to another state. I have had 2 friends move to other states. One even got married and moved to another state so there is two changes right that but I am happy for her. Just miss her a lot right now. I lost connection with another friend earlier this year but I have been able to talk to her again, which is always good.
Then there are times that guys are totally out of your life because you need to focus on God and yourself. That can be hard at times too. It is just that feeling that women need guys around them all the time but really that is our flesh telling us that. Who we really need us around and with us all the time is God. He is the Only Guy we need with us.
Then there are moments where you have people call out places that you need to grow in like your leadership or communication or remembering. While, those things hurt while they are called out, they could still be good for you in the long run. It should only make you stronger. Then there have been a lot of fights with the devil that I feel I got through with God's help pretty good. I understand some of those, really most of those, places but it is still hard. Then there are moments that you learn what you are capable of and incapable of. God is just teaching you who He made you to be. It can be hard at times but in the long run it is worth it.
My 5th year isn't starting out the easiest right now but then again I wouldn't have any room to grow again if it started out easy. I feel like God is really preparing me for something big this year. We'll just have to wait and see what it is. The part that I am worst at. He is also working on my patience if you can't tell in this entry. :)
Saturday, August 6, 2016
Psalm 127-A Verse for Rest and Hope
Psalm 127The Message (MSG)
A Pilgrim Song of Solomon
127 1-2 If God doesn’t build the house,
the builders only build shacks.
If God doesn’t guard the city,
the night watchman might as well nap.
It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don’t you know he enjoys
giving rest to those he loves?
the builders only build shacks.
If God doesn’t guard the city,
the night watchman might as well nap.
It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don’t you know he enjoys
giving rest to those he loves?
3-5 Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;
you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;
you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
Psalm 34:4-7-A Verse to Calm my Anxious Heart
Psalm 34:4-7The Message (MSG)
4 God met me more than halfway,
he freed me from my anxious fears.
he freed me from my anxious fears.
5 Look at him; give him your warmest smile.
Never hide your feelings from him.
Never hide your feelings from him.
6 When I was desperate, I called out,
and God got me out of a tight spot.
and God got me out of a tight spot.
7 God’s angel sets up a circle
of protection around us while we pray.
of protection around us while we pray.
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
1st Year Since My Grandma's Passing
This entry is a day late because I have had a lot of things going on and I didn't really want to write about it on the day of. I'm trying to be strong for all of this week and yesterday too. I did cry a little at naptime and my prayer time last night. It even makes it worse and strange to think it has been one year without any grandparents in my life and I am only 28 years old but it happens. People can live forever. I just really miss her and all my other grandparents. It was always fun going to see them when we did.
I never felt like I grew up around them and that is what I loved about seeing them. I just need that feeling right now this month because I don't know where my life is going. I know I could talk to her about anything if I would only open my mouth more. She was the strongest woman I knew. Both of my grandmas were. I really do take a lot after them. I love God like my mom's mom did and I take after the homemaking or wanting to do that like my dad's mom did. That is what I think of the most at least when I think of the two.
My mom's mom always kept up a nice house because she loved having people over. The houses that I remember before she moved to her apartment were really big. Big enough to have the whole family over at once and that was a big deal because she had 6 children herself, which means I have a lot of aunts and uncles and even more cousins on that side. She was also such a great decorator. I think my oldest sister got that trait from her. I sure didn't. She would always say to my oldest sister that she would need to come up sometime to help her decorate but she didn't need to really.
I also remember a lot of Christmases and Thanksgivings at my parents' house with her after my grandpa passed away and we did that for about probably 4 or 5 years. Something else I loved about one of her habits was that she always gave tree ornaments out with our Christmas presents each year and would be a Bible verse on the back of them. I will keep those ornaments until the day that I die too. Each one of my had something to do with a teddy bear because she knew I liked teddy bears. Who doesn't if you really know me?
She didn't only do that with the ornaments, she would write verses on cards that she sent us and any presents like birthday presents she sent too. She would also put the year that it was given to us. She had to stop that when she was getting older and losing her memory so those things are very special to me because I had the chance to miss those things when she was still alive. Some things are just better when you get a chance to miss them when people are alive. It is less to miss when they have passed. If you get what I am saying.
It was sad but I at least knew the reason why she couldn't give them to us anymore like that. Now my mom started the whole tree ornaments thing for her own kids by caring on the tradition and even for her own grandkids, which I think is neat too. I can't believe it has been a year since she has passed. That year went by so fast it seemed like. I'm so busy with life that I don't even notice things like that and I hate it most of the time. I think this year is going to be the same but worse. I can't seem to find time to enjoy the things I love to do. I just always seemed stressed out.
That is another thing about my grandma that passed away a year ago. I know she had her moments on some things because everyone does but you wouldn't think it bothered her at all when you visited or talked to her on the phone. She either really trusted God with anything or really wanted to that she tried hard to. I really need to be like her in that area right now in my life. She always had a smile on her face that I could remember. She also loved talking and engaging people. I think that is where my mom got those two habits too.
Things are not the same without her. Things are even more confusing and not just for me. Like people are saying, though, or at least the ones closest to me, she is up there with God singing the old church songs that she loves. One thing I Remember is that my last time I went to see her because she really passed away like the day before or two days before, my aunt was in her room and had some old songs on a tape player from one of her favorite tapes and she would response to the music. She would smile a little bit and move her head.
I just remembered thinking that I want to be like that when I pass away into Heaven with God. I want to be happy with a smile on my face and listening to worship and praise songs. Not regretting a thing that I have done in this life. Younger people, that know me, write that down. It is true. She was just so at rest with herself and God and you could just tell that. It was sort of amazing to see in a way and a challenge for me as a way to live my life. It should be a challenge for all of you who read this too. I want to get to that place where I just don't care about anything or what anyone else thinks of me but God. I don't what to be so stressed out all the time and trying all the time. That is not good for our health, physical or emotional.
Challenge: "Try to find time to rest in God everyday, even for a few minutes, and then get to where you can rest in God all day, everyday, without worrying about any other thing or person."
I never felt like I grew up around them and that is what I loved about seeing them. I just need that feeling right now this month because I don't know where my life is going. I know I could talk to her about anything if I would only open my mouth more. She was the strongest woman I knew. Both of my grandmas were. I really do take a lot after them. I love God like my mom's mom did and I take after the homemaking or wanting to do that like my dad's mom did. That is what I think of the most at least when I think of the two.
My mom's mom always kept up a nice house because she loved having people over. The houses that I remember before she moved to her apartment were really big. Big enough to have the whole family over at once and that was a big deal because she had 6 children herself, which means I have a lot of aunts and uncles and even more cousins on that side. She was also such a great decorator. I think my oldest sister got that trait from her. I sure didn't. She would always say to my oldest sister that she would need to come up sometime to help her decorate but she didn't need to really.
I also remember a lot of Christmases and Thanksgivings at my parents' house with her after my grandpa passed away and we did that for about probably 4 or 5 years. Something else I loved about one of her habits was that she always gave tree ornaments out with our Christmas presents each year and would be a Bible verse on the back of them. I will keep those ornaments until the day that I die too. Each one of my had something to do with a teddy bear because she knew I liked teddy bears. Who doesn't if you really know me?
She didn't only do that with the ornaments, she would write verses on cards that she sent us and any presents like birthday presents she sent too. She would also put the year that it was given to us. She had to stop that when she was getting older and losing her memory so those things are very special to me because I had the chance to miss those things when she was still alive. Some things are just better when you get a chance to miss them when people are alive. It is less to miss when they have passed. If you get what I am saying.
It was sad but I at least knew the reason why she couldn't give them to us anymore like that. Now my mom started the whole tree ornaments thing for her own kids by caring on the tradition and even for her own grandkids, which I think is neat too. I can't believe it has been a year since she has passed. That year went by so fast it seemed like. I'm so busy with life that I don't even notice things like that and I hate it most of the time. I think this year is going to be the same but worse. I can't seem to find time to enjoy the things I love to do. I just always seemed stressed out.
That is another thing about my grandma that passed away a year ago. I know she had her moments on some things because everyone does but you wouldn't think it bothered her at all when you visited or talked to her on the phone. She either really trusted God with anything or really wanted to that she tried hard to. I really need to be like her in that area right now in my life. She always had a smile on her face that I could remember. She also loved talking and engaging people. I think that is where my mom got those two habits too.
Things are not the same without her. Things are even more confusing and not just for me. Like people are saying, though, or at least the ones closest to me, she is up there with God singing the old church songs that she loves. One thing I Remember is that my last time I went to see her because she really passed away like the day before or two days before, my aunt was in her room and had some old songs on a tape player from one of her favorite tapes and she would response to the music. She would smile a little bit and move her head.
I just remembered thinking that I want to be like that when I pass away into Heaven with God. I want to be happy with a smile on my face and listening to worship and praise songs. Not regretting a thing that I have done in this life. Younger people, that know me, write that down. It is true. She was just so at rest with herself and God and you could just tell that. It was sort of amazing to see in a way and a challenge for me as a way to live my life. It should be a challenge for all of you who read this too. I want to get to that place where I just don't care about anything or what anyone else thinks of me but God. I don't what to be so stressed out all the time and trying all the time. That is not good for our health, physical or emotional.
Challenge: "Try to find time to rest in God everyday, even for a few minutes, and then get to where you can rest in God all day, everyday, without worrying about any other thing or person."
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