Paying Attention to God

          This past week was full of God working in my life and me paying attention to Him. It is really strange how God can align His things with mine or maybe I'm just doing it the other way around. It just seemed to fit this week. God and His timing. It is the small things that God does actually start you out with to see and pay attention to and then He will go onto the bigger things. Like with me this week, it was with the Bible study, weather, a gift and a certain day. It was really strange. I couldn't get things off my mind. Everything was out of the way that they were suppose to be or usually are.
           I will start telling you about the Bible study because that is when everything came back to me. Actually it all started around Christmas but I forgot about it for a month and a half and after that it came back to me because I had to do it. It wasn't Christmas that God wanted me to do this thing but this past Saturday. Anyways, back to the Bible study first. The study was on Crisis of belief. I know that might kind of seem funny with this situation but it was a choice I had to make even if it was just a small one. I could have had a big impact on that person's life and I would never know. I couldn't stop thinking about the person at all this week. Everything I read and was taught this work through the study I could connect somehow to the person and job.
           It was like God telling me that I had a choice to make right now and that it was a small crisis of belief. It was God testing me to see if I could trust Him or that is how I looked at it. This action took like a month to get read for the certain day. It had two parts and I had to wait on both of them that is why it took so long. I will admit I had been praying a few days before that this choice would change the heart of the person or at least make an impact on the person somehow like getting deeper with God or knowing that I was there once again. I don't need to get anything back but it was just a nice thing to do. I was a little scared the person would either get mad at me or things would go wrong so that is another reason I prayed for the person and choice. I mailed the gift two days before I wanted it to get to the person. Mind you this is all being planned without knowing the weather in advance and that was not on my mind.
           Here I was planning the gift, like I said, a month and a half in advance and this person wanted to do something with friends or the certain day but the person asked only a week in advance if anyone had any ideas. Well, nothing happened on that certain day because the weather was rainy, ice, and snowy all in one day. Mind you in March too. It did all of that in the same day switching off and on. The person I sent the gift to didn't have a big party or get together but did something that the person loved to do by their self. I didn't think much of it until I was praying last night and asked a friend this question: "Do you think that God could have sent the weather so the person could be by self?" "Could it oddly be an answer to my prayer?" If you are reading this and was in that weather this weekend, don't blame me. Often time alone is when we really think about things and ourselves or at least I do.
          Things just lined up here too well to think that something big and strong didn't have in either of our lives. I'm not saying that anything did but I'm hoping and praying something did even if it is very small. I might never know if that day or those prayers have been answer but I can keep on believing they did. With everything going on, I was busy too which is good for me and is an answer to prayer too so I didn't sit around worrying about that gift and the person. I was actually peaceful and if you knew the whole story and more details, you would know how big of a deal that was for me. I was peaceful not just this weekend but all week with mailing it and ordering it and everything that went into it. I was a little nervous at first when it all started but I prayed for peace and God's direction and I felt like He gave me just what I needed to do.
            All this to say: "Once we know how to pay attention to God and actually do so, He can really change our outlook on life, one small thing at a time." I hope this all makes sense. It is kind of hard to write something like this when you can't write the names of the people or things. I don't want to embarrass them at all or myself on here so that is why I don't. I want people to see that God can really work in your life still today if you just get to where you can love Him deeply and believe in  (have Faith) in Him.

Listening to God in Different Ways

        It is funny how all this week I have wrote an entry a day. Notice that I do it in the mornings though. That is how unbusy my life has been this week. All because of a 5 hour training tommrow. Subbing really does make a week go by faster. Let me tell ya! Anyways, that's not why I am here. I am here because I have learned the different ways that God can speak to me and I want to share them with you. The different ways God can speak are: through pray, the Bible, the church/people, and situations. I'll try and give you examples of each.
          Prayer is where I can hear God speak the most. I see a lot of answers to prayer. It is something easy I can do and very meaningful too since I write mine out. Ideas even pop into my mind during a prayer or afterwards if I would take the time to sit there and just listen for awhile. Prayer is a good way for me to speak to God because I can write out my personal thoughts even more personal then I do on here about people and my life. I also love it because I can look back at the prayers I have written out and see how God is working or has been working in my life. I can look back for answered prayers. I can be reminded that God does listen to me at times even if it is takes like 6 years to make things happen. 

          I learned something this past two weeks about prayer though. You have to be on the lookout for things to happen and be expecting them throughout your day. God can do amazing things around you even the littlest of things but if you aren't expecting God to fix it or take control over it then you won't know it is Him working in it. You can say the littlest prayer during that day about your car getting fixed or stop making the noise that it is and then you notice it do later on that day or right then but you just think it is by chance when really God heard that small pray that you prayed. It was God that fixed the car. I know some people would even go ahead and take it in because they are scared it might  make the sound again but worse next time. I will admit I am not there yet but that is where I want to be in my life. God is growing me in that area of prayer.

          The Bible is not a strong suit for me yet but I am going to work on that area of my life. I can't really say how God speaks through the Bible to me because I don't read the Bible like I should especially with situations in mind that are going on in my life. I mainly read it just to study it and see what and who God is all about. Yeah, this is another area where God really needs to start working on me with. Yes, I will come across a verse or words for that day or that problem, which I guess is a way of God speaking using the Bible but I never look at it to see what I should do in life or with a situation. That is what I need to grow in more of with the Bible. I want to see that God will do the same things for me as He did for the people of the Bible times if only I will believe in that way. I think seeing the Bible for certain situations with help me make my faith stronger too. I always learn a new passage in or idea about the Bible in a Bible Study and I say I want to go study that more to put it with my life but I never do. I always forget to do it when I have the time.
          The church and people around me are two separate things for me. I can hear God talking to me by the sermons that are taught in church but not in any other way. The sermons are tied in second place with situations being important to me. There isn't much more to say about the church. The sermons are the only thing that gets to me besides the worship songs that we sing. I guess I could also say the Bible Studies that they provide like the one I am in now. I am hearing God speaking a lot in it but that is it. I don't quite understand how else God speaks through the church other then those ways and maybe I am overthinking and that is all. I don't know. 

          I don't hear God speak through people to me a lot but that could be because I am not the talking kind. I am also stubborn when it comes to talking about my feelings and personal life. You really have to know me for me to talk to you about my life. I don't just open up to anyone. If I am going to ask a person a question I want them to follow up with me or that question and situation. I want them to care about me too in a way. I am adding this one but God can even speak through words and maybe this is what is also meant by people. When someone says, "Come see me again soon" or "You better come see me again soon." Do it if you can! Because you never know when the last day will be for a person especially if it is a grandparent or someone you dearly love. More words are, "She is getting bigger/taller every time I see her" means you are growing to fast so you need to come and see me more often. I think for me when I hear God speak through people, they have to be people closest to me or that I know really good.
            Then there are situations that God speaks through and that is probably the 2nd way that I can tell He is speaking through me personally. It might even go a little above the church and people. Just because I am really observant and like to know everything about everyone. I know that sounds creepy but I don't mean it to sound that way. If you knew me, you would know what I mean. I love it when God speaks through situations for me especially if they are good situations like quitting a job for a better one or doing this thing for a friend or so on. Now it is the sad situations that I don't like so much but I know sadly God has used some of those situations to get my attention about things in my life. I know I have grown stronger in some areas because of those situations. Situations like losing jobs or losing loved ones and so on. 

           God doesn't only speak through the big situations. He speaks through the little ones too even the very little ones like should I main this card to this person. Should I say "hi" to this person? Should I stop by and see this person even though I am sleepy and busy? When God tells us to send this or go see this person, we should because we never know God's plan in that moment of time. It could be for them or for us. It could be the last time we get to see them or say something meaningful to them. We don't know life but God does. I know for me giving hugs to the ones I love have really grown on me. I use to be so shy as a girl that I wouldn't go up and hug my grandparents because I wanted to. Mind you, they would come and hug me but it just wasn't the same. I knew they loved me but did they know I loved them back. Now I go up a give the ones I love a hug every time I see them. 

             There are just some ways that we can listen to God in different ways and these ways are from my Bible study book. I do believe that there are more ways because God can chose anything to get a message across to us if He needs it to get to us. Another way I love to listen to God is through His Creation. There is no better way then that. Actually that might be my 1st way that I can hear God listening when I am out in His Creation. Everything He made/make has something to say about who He truly is. Every flower, every sunset, every storm, every season, and so on. Don't think I am teaching you the four ways God can speak because like I said I am not one to limit God at all. I'm just summarizing what I learned from a book. 

Challenge: Think about how God speaks to you the best. How can you hear God the best?

          

I Purpose to Be.....

....Listening and Praying.

          

          God has really stressed those two things to me already this month. It just seems like He has something He wants me to hear but I haven't quite figured it out yet. The sermons and Bible studies have been about prayers and listening. I know I need to spend some more time listening to Him especially from the Bible but I thought I had praying down. I have done it all my life and I am a big fan of it. Yet everything has been on a deeper level in prayer. It hasn't just been on how to pray but how we can pray for deeper things. How to have a real talk with God and then wait for an answer whether we like it or not.
           My problems are remembering and/or looking for answers to my prayers. There are times God will pop in and say, "hey, remember when you prayed this. Here is the answer." I know there are some times when He doesn't remind me but then I look back and am like "oh, there the answer was." It could have been I missed it totally or just wasn't what I wanted it to be. God does that a lot because He knows better then us. Lately, that is what I have been leaning about. I have also been learning about how to pray for a deeper meaning of life without being scared to. Letting go of things because that is easier later in life.
           I have been learning that God has a plan for this earth and He just uses me to make it come true. He also wants other people to see Him working through my life. He has a plan for me already so why try to change it through prayer. I just need to be willing and let Him know that. I have also seen that I can be too detailed in my prayers but that is also my personality. I like details and to know what is happening but then again how can we see God at work if we only limit Him to what we think He can do.
         It is also strange how God would start the theme at my AR church and then continue it for two Sundays at my parents' church. If that doesn't tell you something, then I don't know what will. I have so many entries on prayer that I will be lucky if they don't go into next month and if I get them all written out. The entries will be about things like the strategy of prayer, how to pray, the different ways we can get the answers to pray and so on. I am really interested to look back on the month later on in the year or like next year and see some of the results because of learning about prayer.
           I can also see how good I listened to God and followed Him. It will be kind of like a test for me. I think God is deepening my prayer life because He knows after a year that I can handle it. He tested me last year through all of the trials to see if I would trust Him and now He knows I will and is putting me to His work. We'll see what God does with all of this knowledge. I'll try to keep you all updated the best I can.

A Prayer to Stay Praying

"God,

         You have always made me a strong prayer warrior. That's what I do best in my walk with You. Granted I might miss some nights here and there. I never want my prayer life to fall by the side. It is easy now because I am by myself but when that changes if it does, don't let me fall from it. You know how much I need it in my life everyday and I will just need it more as my life goes on and things changes through and through. Give me time everyday now and later in life to have and spend time with You. I love learning more and more about prayer even though it should be and probably is just repeated things. It never hurts to be reminded of things that are most important to You and how to do them. I will say these past 3 weeks on prayer I have learned a lot that I didn't know and other things that I knew but saw in a different view. Thank you for letting me see prayer differently and like I said before don't let it fall to the side for me as I get older. If anything I need to grasp on to it tighter as the years go on. I will never get through life without it.


In Christ's Name,

Amen"

Preschool to 4th grade

            What do I say about children when I have done all of the ages, Preschool through 4th grade. What do I say when I am around every grade throughout one day? That is my life right now when I sub but I love it and fun too. I sub for a preschool and then my real job is with Kindergarten through 4th grade. You learn a lot of things when you are around all the grades. You could probably tell that children are my passion since I am around every grade.
           Being around every grade does make me sleepy but it makes my day go by faster too. It gives me a lot more experience for later in life. I don't know what I am doing permeantly but it is good that I am doing this. It also gives me a lot of networks to go through for later in life. I also love picking my own times and I know I said that before.
           Preschool is very more active then the elementary aged children. They also are very needed and that is expected of them. You have to have a lot of energy to be with them and not scared to do silly things with them. It is a good place to start out when you are young but it takes a lot of energy when you get older and older. It also takes a lot more of your time too. It is also very different from 2 years old to 5 years old. I have also worked with babies so that is really different too. So really I have worked with ages 0 to 4th grade. It is fun seeing the babies learn the simple things like walking and talking. It is also so cute too! You get to see how they develop and how fast they can. It is the best when they are having a hard time and they learn how to do it or if they learn something new and you know that you had a part in that. That is the only good thing about that age. Other then that it is a hard age to deal with if you haven't had any of your own. That age would probably be the best for older people in the daycare field or at least it would be for me once I have my own babies, I think. 

             The problem that I have with the babies is understanding the parents' feelings about things. Parents can be so picky at that age and I can understand why because it is the ages where most of their development happens. The thing is don't take it out on the workers if we missed a slight thing or fed them at the wrong time because it was your choice to put then in a daycare with 11 other kids with 2 teachers most of the time if not 3 teachers. That the part I don't think that the parents get most of the time. Now back to the 2 through 5 years olds. The ways of teaching them are really different. It is mostly playing for the 2 years olds but as they get older the more Kindergarten like things they get taught. You start out with painting, coloring, listening and sitting when they are 2 years of age and then you keep going up to learning numbers and letters and so on. To me, it seems like you have less to do when they get older because they should already know how to sit and things like that. They should learn at least one new things, if not more, each year. 

                  Then the school learning starts when they are 4 and 5 years old. Pre-K and Kindergarten. Now about the elementary grades (K-4th), they are really different and it is strange to see them and have them all in what could be the same week. You really have to program your mind to go with each group. I have the 2nd graders now for most of the time. They are my main group but I have had the Kindergarten and the 3rd and 4th graders so I can see the difference in all of the groups. My 2nd graders are very talkative and outgoing. The 2nd grade boys are very active but being aggressive. The girls could be really mean and bossy to each other too. While they act like they are big kids, there are still some problems that they have like acting out. Some of them will cry or have a little fit if they don't get their way still. They still think that they should get all the attention and don't know any better. This is when you start giving them chores or jobs, if not sooner, so they can learn responsibility. I would start my kids with chores sooner than that but some parents don't. I have some boys that have no idea how to clean the tables after snack. Some of them try but I have to go back over them. 

                Like I said about learning with babies, the grades have different things they learn and should now but that age too. I know some 2nd graders that don't know how to tie their shoes yet. I also have some 2nd graders that has a fit when they get out of a game we are playing. The 2nd graders also fight a lot during gym games about who is really out and how one touched the other. They get very competitive. The 3rd and 4th graders these days act like they are in Jr. High. It is all about them and they want to be the center of attention. They will try to get your attention in all kinds of way even crying if nothing else works. You see them around with their cell phones and with a lot of make up on. They think that are too big to do anything with the younger children. They want to do anything but play. They talk about things that I didn't even talk about until after middle school. They will use bad words like that too if you can catch it among their friends. They have no respect for the teachers or other adults in their lives. The boys are still active by being aggressive though. I don't think that ever changes. 

              These are only some of the things that I have seen working through this age range. I know there is a lot more like with disabilities and things but that is for each person not the group as a whole so I won't go into that at all. It is also hard to remember all of them too. Sometimes they seem just to slide together win my brain since I am working with everyone of them especially on a busy day. It would be neat and I have always wanted to just sit and really observe all these grades to see how right I am about some of these things and learn more because you know as a teacher or a person working with children, you never stop learning. That is another reason I like this field. Once a teacher's kid, always a teacher. :)

Every Girl DOESN'T need a Make Up Bag

         When reading this, you all might think it is funny but there is some truth to it too. If you know me, you won't be surprised that I am writing an entry about it either. My co workers and I were talking to one of the little girls about make up and giving her a free bag to put it in. Then one of my co workers said that every girl wears make up and I just laughed at her and said, "Not me." Then she commented back, "Almost everyone. It is nice when they do." And she was encouraging her to wear it.
            All this time I am listening and thinking, "Girls don't need a make up bag. The beauty is on the inside that counts." Then that is where the idea for this entry came from. It has been awhile since we have talked about that but I kept it as and entry because it is a good lesson and reminder to us, girls and even women. It also made me see how bad the world is at pushing beauty on the outside for women.
            I never fell into that trap and never will. My husband will just have to get over that. I am the simple, easygoing type of girl that doesn't care about that stuff. I am the kind of girl that might where foundation but that is the only thing unless I am going to a dance like prom or something. I just don't have the patience to put on make up for no reason right now. Now if my future husband wants me to put on more natural make up like blush and eyelash liner. See I don't even know what some of them are called.
             It just seems so fake to me and make people look fake. They don't need to put on make up every second of the day. To me, there are more important things to worry about then reapplying make up. I really think when some girls put on make up it makes them look like Barbie dolls. So pale and fake. I know and understand that some girls do it for attention but still that is not an excuse.
             If only they knew what really matter on the inside and why. I will be honest sometimes I worry about those type of girls because I think they are trying to hide something on the inside that they don't want to face.
            I'll always be that simple, easygoing girl without her make up on. I mean why would you need it on playing with children and working out on the farm where no one sees you. It is funny too because none of us girls, meaning my sisters and I, really cared for make up but one. One out of four isn't bad at all.
           The lesson of this entry that I was trying to get across is a make up bag is not needed because it should be on the inside what counts, not the outside.
            
          

How is my Life Being Threaded Together?

           My life is being threaded together in a lot of different ways. I have been through a lot but it is because God has a Great Plan for me. I didn't noticed the threading together part until here recently. We are all on God's Mission here on the earth and we try to listen and do His Will but it can get blocked at times or it is not like we planned at all but we still do it. There are certain times in my life where God has threaded through things that I didn't even plan on in my life but I wouldn't have it any other way right now. Things ended up better and they continue to get that way too.
           You tend to see God threading you life together when you get out of college or in college but not before then. You have everything planned out for you before then like going to school and living with your family. You have your parents there to tell you how to live and when to do things but it is then after you graduate high school that you really see your life being shredded together by Christ. You have to get all the basic learning down before you can to the school of your choice to do what you want to do for the rest of your life or so you think. I know for me God had other plans for me.
           I started to see God threading my life together when I started picking out colleges in high school. I had always dreamed of going to this one main big college that all my other family members went to but in the end it wasn't the one for me. While looking at the college mom brought up the one that she and my dad went to for awhile so I signed up for it as a back up not really thinking about getting in there even though it was a small college and a better chance for me to get in. It also seemed easier for me because I'm not the very social type those big colleges call for. I can never see me at one of those even to this day.
          I got into the small college and had put down my major as elementary education because you know coming from a family of educators why not, right? Well, having that major worked okay for about 2 years and then I changed it because I started to get worried about the classes and tests I would have to take to get into the big program. I changed my major to Child Development and that major was fun and easy. Let me tell you something, though, it isn't easy in the bigger world. I would have rather and still thinking about being a teacher. I also had the chance to go on a lot of mission trips and I lived that sort of mission life while in college since it was a Christian college that I went to. I got to explore some of the world because of that.
           After I graduated college and was looking for a career, that is when I had no idea where God wanted me and why. I looked for jobs in MO and AR. When I say jobs I mean, daycare and preschool jobs since I did work in the college daycare for 4 years. I thought that was the place for me and that is why I also changed my major. Well, let me tell you it was for me for about 4 years and then I wanted change. I had fun in the childcare field but it just got repeatedly boring and too stressful for me. I had fun experiences at every place I worked especially at the children's shelter. It was there that I grew a lot as a person. Because of that growth, I think I wanted to go back into the public school area because those type of children are there too especially around where eI live in AR. The daycares and preschools I ended up working in AR at seem to up tight for me. I also went to Guatemala two times with the church when I first moved to AR but my mission life as subsided too for now.
           God put the public schools back on my heart in a strange way while I was working at my last daycare and preschool and there I quit that job and went to work for an after school program with the public schools around me. I will say that part of my dream in high school was to make my own after school program in an area where it was needed and here I got to work for one. It has been fun. I also still have 2 mission trips that I want to go on if the Lord is willing but I am okay if I don't get to go on those.
             I think once you see how your life is being and can be threading/ed out, it makes you stop and think about things. It makes you rely more on God at times. Makes you think about what things are more important then the others. I know my past situations has helped me turn to God more and ask questions that I never would have asked. Now here I am thinking about being a sub for the next school year and back in the school area which I loved and always will it seems like. I also know that I have given my life over to God and my dream about my a stay at home mom because now I know that is what I want to be in the long run or a teacher. The both have the same passions I do and I know what my true passions are now. Thanks to one of my jobs for making me doubt them for awhile. It was much needed.
            At that moment or in that time we can't see how God is threading our lives together. I had no idea I would be where I am today doing what I am now when I was in college. If I had an idea do you think I would have changed my major. God also knows the best way for us. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses and I have learned that through my whole life. I still might become a teacher in the public schools but in a different, easier way then taking the classes and tests in college. A way I didn't know was possible but God did back 6 years ago. Now I could probably stand those tests because I am okay with who I am now. This just goes to show that God knows us the best and His Timing is the BEST for our lives. Why do we doubt His Timing when only He knows what is BEST for us? These are only a few ways God is threading my life together. There are some more but I rather not share them on here.