Crazy Part of COVID-19

            I am doing it. I am going crazy and it's only been a week for me. I don't know how I am going to make it the other two weeks. I don't know if I can take it if it gets worse. I knew the world was off  too easy of a start in 2020. We were getting full of ourselves, weren't we? Away from people. Away from family. Away from Love. Away from God. It's sad how hard this really is. It is sad how we need the rush of everyday left to get us to sleep or make us feel worthy.

              Personally, I am trying to do things and be creative but it is driving me nuts. I have a few hobbies that I am trying to start. Maybe if I knew when this all would end I would enjoy things a little bit more. Right there, lays the problem. I hate worrying about things. I want to make plans but if they are long plans I might not be able to get them done because I don't know how long this will last.

              I know I am also not talking to myself when I ask this question, Why can't we learn to enjoy the now and the present? The here and the now. Instead of being so worried about the future. Why can't I get that through my head? Enjoy and be thankful for what we still have. 

               I know I am not the only one that feels this way. The news is making it seems kind of scary. I am better not watching the news or what it is going on. I know that might settle wrong with some people but if they know me they will understand. Less knowing, less anxiety. That's how I work most of the time. That is why I am writing it out and to remember how I felt during this time. Come back when it is all over or I have been at he longer and see if I have a different view of things. 

Psalm 4-5- A Prayer

This is a prayer for this day and time. I just picked out a few lines from these two chapters that popped out at me and that I really needed right now. Hope it helps you too! 

Dear Daddy,

Give me relief from my distress.

Search my heart and let me be silent.

I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

Trust in the Lord.

I run for cover to You.

You welcome us with open arms.

We dwell in safety because

You surround us with a shield.

You will bless the righteous. 

In Your name,

Amen

In God's Eyes You Are Irreplaceable- A Poem

In God's Eyes You Are Irreplaceable.

You are irreplaceable because He made only

One of you. 

You are beautiful, gentle, talented, and kind hearted. 

No one can ever replace you even if they try.

You are one in a million in God's eyes. 

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

You are beautiful. 

You have the color of your eyes for a reason.

Your hair is that color for a reason.

God made your skin that color because He needed it that color. 

God needed to use you like that. He has a speical plan for you.

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

You are gentle.

You don't fight back but turn your back.

You try to encourage even when they don't

Hear you.

You don't yell but use a soft voice because

That gets their attention for you.

God is that gentle and He wants you to be

Like Him.

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

You are very talented.

God has given a special and unique talent

For a reason.

You are at that place and job for a reason.

God knew you could handle certain things

And not handle other things.

So wherever you are be a missionary of

God. 

Let people see God through you.

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

You are kind hearted.

You give a lot even when you want to

Give up.

You think about other people instead

Of yourself.

You never slow down.

You have a heart for God. Never forget that!

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

No one can ever replace you.

He only made one of you so that makes

You really speical.

Live like it! Live for God!

Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: March 18th, 2020

Psalm 1-3 (What Do We Do For God?)

During this time of our lives, it might be crazy. You might be out of work or working from home. Your kids might be out of school and having to do it at home online. You maybe working at work but without people or children. Whatever your case may be, here are some things God reminds us to do:

-Chew on Scripture day and night.

-Bear fruit every month because we are trees.

-Always be in blossom (aka always keep growing in the Word.)

-Worship God in an adoring embrace.

-Run towards God, not away from Him.

-Celebrate the good times and small things in awe.

-Rest so we can stand tall and steady in these hard times.

While we are doing these things, what is God doing for us?

-Watches over the way of the righteous.

-Shields us on all sides.

-Ground our feet.

-Lift our heads high so we can see Him in everything.

These are just the first two chapters of Psalm. I am trying to read a chapter a day to keep me sane. Anyone want to join me?

Bloom to Plan for 2020

       I have a word and a phase that I am going to work on growing in this next year in 2020. The word is: Bloom. The phase is: Bloom to Plan. After I explain my phase, you will understand why I picked it. 

        The word "Bloom" is a good word for me because there are some areas where I need to Bloom in and make those areas stronger. The area of planning is one area I really need to Bloom in. That is where the phase of the year comes in and makes sense. People might say that I have already bloomed a Lot this past year but I know I could Bloom more after learning a lot this year. Being a girlfriend for a year, taught me a lot and opened up my eyes a lot more. 

            I have 5 main steps and things that I learned but that is another entery for another time. Those 5 things are what I need to Bloom in and right now one of those 5 things are "planning better". Bloom to Plan. This past year showed me how much I need to plan and how I need to plan for everything. When you have yourself and another person, planning is the best way to go for everything. 

             It could make things easier in life. Plan for everything and every holiday. I never had to plan for myself because I could go off the wind and I made enough money for just me. Now, I have another person to think about. We have talked about starting to save for Christmas 2020 and I've thought about saving up for his birthday too. I've also thought to plan where I could make more crafts this year. I've tried to plan for myself and make a budget but it has failed Everytime. I have a lot that I want to do and plan for so that is why I have to make it a point to focus on that part of my life.

             Now that I have another person in my life maybe that plan to budget is a good idea this year. Maybe my planning habit will Bloom too? That's my hope this year. That is why my year phase is: Bloom to Plan and why my word this year is : Plan. Plus hopefully I can use that planning to do something big in the future. 

             Hopefully, planning things out will take down my anxiety too. That's another good thing it could do. Planning is my number one goal of 2020. Let's see if I can do it! 

             

             

Do I Need to Be Strong?

Strong is a word that is used to

Describe man, cars, buildings, and

Metal. But what about women?

It is a feeling you don't know you

Are feeling til you've had enough. 

It's when you break down crying.

You might know why or you might

Not but you know you can't stop from

Crying. 

Strong is also when you have to do 

Everything by yourself. You have to

Contorl the children. You have to

Teach them everything under the sun. 

It's when you have people telling you how to

Treat or raise a child but you do it

Your own way anyways. Strong is being a wife,

Mother, daughter, and a women of any

Kind. 

Strong is when you have tried everything

But nothing works. Strong is something 

You learn, but have no idea when or how

Or why you learned it. Maybe it was because

You got made fun of in high school, lived

By yourself for a long time, deaths in your life time, or had really Hard jobs. It could be a

Number of things. It could also be the way 

You were raised or because you had to out 

On that front for so long in your life. You

Thought that was who you needed to 

Be. 

Strong can also be a bad thing. It could make

You turn away from people. It could also 

Make you give up because people are using your

Strongness. It could be because you believe in 

Yourself and only you. The list could go on. 

Strong will be a part of you no matter what.

You will have to break some of it to let

People in. It doesn't like change at all because

It has to go away. Change makes being strong 

A little more sensitive for awhile. But it always shows back up again. 

Strong makes you feel anxious. It makes you

Worried and scared. Strong makes you think

You are so prefect that you could never 

Mess up. When you do, you have to be strong

And push through it in a way that makes you

Feel better. Strong is when you want to worry

And care for someone or something so bad

You don't let them see what you are really 

Feeling. 

Strong is what you thinks will keep you safe.

It does when you wear a mask on the outside

But on the inside it destroys you. You are letting all these feelings build up that eventually you

Will burst out crying or doing something else

You'll regret. You will say words you never meant to say. You say them because you think you

Can handle the actions towards you but you

Can't. 

Strong is a good feeling to have for the most 

Part. Sometimes, though, you have to be 

Careful with it. It could be all over the place. Here, there, and everywhete. It could make you question who You really are. That's what is really hard about feeling strong. 

Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: November 2019

The 3 Cs- Chance, Challenge, and Change

          I was in a thinking and writing mood last night. Ever get those  moments where you just think of something good to write about. It is like a light bulb came on. I was just thinking about any kind of relationship. A love relationship would be a good one to apply these to though. Just throwing that out there. No matter the kind, there are three Cs that you have to do yourself as a individual. Those three Cs are: Chance, Challenges, and Change.
          You take the chance. You take the chance of changing your life forever. You go right into whatever you have doubts about and scares you. You have questions but you take that chance anyways. Sometime when you take that chance. It will turn out to be the best thing you ever think of. You take that chance of giving up things to get another thing. You get the chance of someone's asking you all of these questions not knowing they will matter soon but yet those questions for you thinking and prepared for what was ahead. You take the chance in answering those questiins, hoping that you will do what you said you would when that chance comes. with those chances, you will have challenges.
            You have the challenges. All kind of them. Some challenges you might understand right away and others you might not til later. The challenges could be easy or hard. They could be a fight that you have to work through or with me, my anxiety that I have to contorl. They could also be good like understanding why a person treats you the way they do or going onto the next step. The challenges could even be something like learning something about you or someone else or something else. I love challenges because you do keep learning and I love that because I am a teacher's kid. Those challenges might seem scary at first but everyone needs them or you would stay where you are in life forever.
              You are changed. By taking that chance and going pass those challenges, you are becoming a changed person. I thought I was changed and done changing when I took a speical chance but come to figure out I wasn't even close to done. I might have been done changing if I was to stay by myself forever but that's not God's plan. Never was. I'm being changed everyday now. I'm learning new things and going through a lot of new challenges. I am seeing how storng I can really be, I guess. One thing I have learned so far is no one can change you for the better then the person who truly loves you and that you love back.
                Call me crazy but I think the 3 Cs are a way of life. Chance, challenge and change. How else would you describe life? How else would you describe the feeling of love? How else would you describe a person changing better for a reason? You got to take that chance. With that chance, comes a lot of challenges. With those challenges, you have to change or you might not make it through some of them. If you never do these things, how will you know what to do to get through life?

Summary:

Step 1: Take the chance.
Step 2: Get through those challenges.
Step 3: Change because you took the chance and got through those challenges.