Thanks From Tiffney

       I will admit right off the bat that I was going to do an entery on Thanksgiving but I can't help it but it is a different kind of thanks espically after what I heard today. Yes, my title is from the idea from the book "Kisses From Kate" but I need something better that starts with a "T". I would usually be upset because I didn't get to spend time with family the morning of Thanksgiving this year but I'm not. I got to make some Turkey cookie treats and think about what I am most thankful for and that got me ready for my day.
         I have a 2nd family and that 2nd family are my children at work and there was no place I would rather be today then there. How many people can say that about their job? I was thinking here are all these statuses that talks about family and I don't get to spend it with mine but I did in a way. My 2nd family. The family I spend 40 hours a week with. When you work just for the extra pay for the holiday or when you think there are a million more things you could be doing then helping children, don't show it around people who don't have it. I know I'm difference from anyone around me and that makes me strange in a way but think about the children around you now. They don't have any of that stuff to go home to and might not ever have it again.
           I read an article by Katie Davis (Kisses From Kate) this morning and it got me thinking about something too and I need to read her book again since I'm doing kind of what she is but easier. I am taking care of 12 children, not by myself though. It got me thinking could I really do what she does here in America. It would be a little easier. She calls herself a single mom with 13 children and she moved into their country. That is how I started thinking about my children as family right now. I'm doing everything for them so why not, right?
           There was a moment tonight where I just had to say "thank you God" and that was when we were all sitting in the dining room on our side of the building instead of the cafe and eating like a family. I just looked at every child and thought about Katie and then thought I could do this. I want to do this. We had a sub sandwich that supposed to resemble the sandwiches you have after the big meal because they had the big meal at lunch. It was a family setting more then I have seen in my career. A bunch of little ones eating around you. Wouldn't you know it if you know me, I was right there sitting beside them in a small chair at their table. That is when I really noticed that I was truely thankful. It's moments like these I see and wish everyone in the world could see instead of me explaining it because it is never the same in words. There were 3 adult workers and 12 children. It was like our own little house for the night. :) Paper plates, milk cartons, no sliverware, and everything else you could think of after a big meal.
               Do these children really understand? Not one of them said a thing about Thanksgiving and that made me sad now that I think about it but I still think they are still too young to know about it espically if they have never been taught what it is all about or what it is. One more thing they don't get to go shopping on Black Friday or get things from that shopping day so stop and think for just a second about other people while you are shopping. That's all on that because I could go into more on how I feel about that day starting on Thanksgiving.

A Little Boy's Birthday Party

      This might be a short entery but I just wanted to share something that has happened this week and that I got to be apart of even though everything was crazy afterwards. I got to be apart of one of my little boy's birthday party and it is the little boy that I gave the snow boots to. I usually would come in to a party in the middle of it or at the end of one but this time I got to set up for it and everything. It was neat to see the smile (aka big grin) on his face when he saw his cupcake but more when he opened his presents. Everything was spiderman. The tablecloth, the napkins, and well the plates were blue to match everything and his favorite color was blue. 

        His sister got to come down and celbrate with him and got to play with him for a little bit so he really enjoyed that. It was so cute because he kept telling everyone he saw it's my birthday, we're going to have a birthday party for my birthday. There are no words to explain the look on his face when he opened each of his 3 presents either. I mean they were a spiderman "doll", a little airplane that shoots bullets, and a little track that another little spiderman could ride on. It just gave me this feeling in my heart that if 3 presents can make a little boy that happy then why can't it with us.

        Here is the lesson before you go shopping at Black Friday tommrow evening on a day we are suppose to my thankful for what we do have already. Crazy to think what it would be like if we did just get three presents at Christmas or birthday, would we be happy? It was more about the expression on his face when he got those presents that got to my heart so there are really no words for those. Just being a part of it and seeing the little boy really happy was a present to me. The parties and day goes by fast. We are used to making ours longer but why. All these children get is, maybe if they are lucky, half a hour of a party because the other children what to go off and play somewhere else. 

         Then the other children don't understand what day it is most of the time so they don't really care like a family would care and keep it going for at least that day. I have been part of a baby's birthday once and again they had no idea but it was fun seeing them get messy with the icing from the cupcake. 

That's another thing all they get is a cupcake with however many candles on it and here we are having a big birthday cake and some people those really fancy birthday cakes for a baby's 1st or 2nd birthday. I'm not againist those at all I would love to do one for my children someday but it is just a different point of view. These children could look back and remember oh I had this birthday back there because  so and so like they can look at it as a good or bad thing when they get older. 

           I'm just thankful that I got to spend one of my children's birthday with them. We have people who make a little photo book for them of their party so they can remember it but still who is to say that that book goes everywhere with them. It might get lost in all the moving but you never know. 

Be Strong and Take Heart in the Lord

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."-Psalm 24:17

        I read this verse yesterday in one of those email devos. that I get everyday and it just hit me right on the spot. I think this is my new favorite verse for right now in this time in my life. There were two words that hit me hard at they were "Be Strong".  As women or even girls, we think that we can't be strong and if we are that is a bad thing. To me, God is saying in this verse, "Wait for me and while you do that be strong and take heart and wait." God gave us three commands in this verse and they are very important ones.
         First command is to "wait for the Lord". We need to wait on Him before we move ahead in what we think are the plans for us. We might be wrong and what to go ahead because we what something now and God isn't giving it to us. Wait and see that the Lord is good. He will make things happen in His Perfect Timing.
          Second command is to "be strong and take heart". This command could be broken down into 2 commands but we'll just do one for now. This part got me because I've always thought, as women, we can be the strong ones if we are something is wrong with us. That is not true. We can be strong but it depends in what. We can't just sit around and do nothing and wait for something to happen. We have to be strong and do it. This helps me with my job because it is one of those where you have to be strong in the sense that you can't get the children get to you. You can let them walk all over you and you can't let them see that you are mad or upset. It is also good to follow when you are single because that means you can live with yourself and be happy with who you are and won't fall for anything. "Take heart" means, to me, that you take ahold of something and go with it with all of your heart in this verse. What God has given you to do and where He has placed you right now, you need to be strong and go with it. See what God has in store for you there now while you do wait on more from Him. He could be teaching you a lot where you are know whether it is growing you closer to Him or about the subject or both. It is both for me. He is healing me in ways I never thought He could and I'm not the one that needs healing compare to the children I work with.
           Third command is to "wait for the Lord" again. Why do you think God would put that in the Bible 2 times in the same verse? I think He would because that is the most important thing you can do. If you didn't wait for the Lord, your life would be a mess after a mess. You would try to control it and it would turn out bad. There are times I have tried to control my life and it didn't end up how I wanted it to but now I look back and think I'm glad I waited on the Lord because I would not be where I am today if I didn't. I couldn't see me doing things in high school that I thought about doing but it would for sure mess me up a lot if I did.
           The Lord wants us to be strong in Him and to take ahold of Him so that we will follow the plan He has for us. He knows us better then we know ourselves and His Plan and Timing is way better. He takes us through steps to get us to the plan He wants us to have plus the Home He has for us in Heaven. That is our Real Goal. That is why we are really being strong and holding on. It is also funny how God showed me this verse after having a talk to a teenager this past week about holding on and her goals/dreams for her life. Just another example of God teaching me at this job in a lot of ways if I just open my eyes.

The Day of Miracles

        I had a day of miracles this past Thursday. I got up at 6:30 and went to work at 7 and stayed there until 10 at night. It was a full day but it was a day of miracles and God knew I needed each and every one of them. I also learned a lot that day through everything that I did. I just became more mature and saw a side of my job that I have never seen before and I guess a side of me that I have never seen before because I was amazed at half of the thing. 

       It started out by taking a middle schooler and a teenagers to some appointments that they had. It was strange but I could relate to both of the appointments because I had the same things done to me like they were getting done without knowing what I would be doing. It is like God put me together with those two and knew exectly what they needed. One appointment was getting teeth checked on for braces and see if the child could get braces even and if not what needed to be done so the child can. He had a bad overbite and still had some baby teeth and enough to push the other teeth together. I can relate to the bad overbite. I understood everything the denist told me. 

        The second appointment was going to the drs. office for a broken foot. We waited about 3 hours in the waiting room and drs. office together. It was a long morning but we got some good talking in. This teenager told me about her life and what was happening and she was also worried about getting a cast but wanted one so bad. We talked through it and I told her about my broken wrist and how I broken it just playing around too like she broke her foot while dancing. We really got into some deep things because of a poster with the word "Persarvance" on it and a guy hanging off of a side of a mountain. She said, "I would just let go. I want to let go." and she said it jokely but I said right after, "No you don't you want to hold on" and she was like, "You're right" and then she told me all of her dreams and goals. She also told me that she liked me and wanted me to sign her cast first. I got to wonder how many people do actully listen to and take teens in in the foster care system. All they really need is a listening ear and have your respect for who they are and then hopefully you can get them to listen right back to you. We were laughing together by the end of the appointment. She didn't think through all of the things about a cast and I tried to share most of my story about my wrist and what the drs. would do and how it would feel when you had it on and take it off and during but I broke my wrist in 4th grade so it has been awhile. Never thought I could get along so well and talk so much to and teenager like I did this one but I had fun and loved it! 

            Then when we got back to where I work, I had to go work my plain shift for the day with my preschoolers. They were in a huggy mood that day or at least one of them was and the rest followed. One of our little boys would yelled, "It's huggy time" and come hug all the staff and then the other children would come copying him for a bit. I would have 3 to 4 children on me at a time. It was such a great feeling! :) Just what I needed in the afternoon after a busy, boring, and long morning. 

            Then staff got to talking about one of our children and what she is like and while they were talking I was thinking again. She has a sickness that if she wasn't in the states she might not be with us. If she was an orphan, without a doctor, in another country she might not be able to talk or be alive. It was just strange what went through my mind right then. We are blessed to have doctors that can perform miracles everyday too. It would be neat to see this little girl grow up and see what happens to her but either way I believe God will use her in the way He wants to with what is happening to her. 

            Four miracles in one day. They are all around us if we just open our eyes more and take that time to see those who we can relate to or think they need an encouraging word, even change our thinking around by being positive about things like thankful that we have doctors to go to. God will put us with people that we are able to help. That's why He puts us in their lives right then. That is why they cross our path. We think that people cross our path to change us a lot of times when really it can go the other way or both ways if we take the time to see it that way. 

Dreams and Secrets

Inspired by: A Teenage Girl that I talked to this week.

      I've been thinking a lot about my dreams again and who I truly am and who I want to know the real me. Sometimes we have to be careful to who we tell our secrets to. This blog is not a good example but it is helping me get my thoughts out. I have a farm that I grew up on my first 4 years of life so I call my home and it is really my 2nd home. No one really knows all the story behind it or why I went there and it is still a secret and will be because that story is something meaningful to me and I want to share it with people who I know will stick around. I also got to thinking though one of the adults is not doing too well. He is getting sick and has been getting worse the last 2 times I have been down there over 6 months. I always like going back because I hear stories of my life as a child and it just feels like home and peaceful. She was the one that taught me how to sew, some manners, starting me liking bears, and much more. I am the way I am because of them today.
        I feel like one person could really understand what I feel there and why. I feel like only one person could get the reason of why I would like to live out in the country while living the simple life as a stay at home mom. I was driving back from their house out in the country and I was just thinking, I could do so much out here. My own children's shelter or camp. Has we were talking, I was thinking about a friend and how much my friend would get along with them both even the lady. They would both of the same thoughts on nature, traditions, family, and everything else. They could talk about the farm all day. It is a hard feeling to put into words in a blog.
         It is the place I grew up and no one really will understand me until I tell them or really can show them that place and right now there is only one person I want to do that too. I also don't want to show many friends that place and introduce them to the people because the people aren't scared to share my baby stories with anyone. They are very outspoken so they will say anything. I also got to thinking today while there about my friend and my farm friends' love for animals whether it is dogs and cats to cows and chicken and deer. I know the farm friends are who got me to love God's Creation because we use to take a walk in the woods every evening and I would help gather the eggs.
          They taught me the important things in life and it stuck with me. People say that the first 5 years of a child's life is the most important because that is when they learn the most. During my first 5 years, I learned life lessons kids these days don't get plus some schooling before I started Kindergarden. I was taught how to have character, care, compassion and be polite to people. That is what living on a farm can do to you and I know how to keep myself busy because I was outside most of the time and my farm friends didn't have TV or cell phones and they still don't.
            A dream of mine and I will say it on here because those who know me can probably already guess. I want to be a stay at home mom and have that old lifestyle. The lifestyle that meant everything to me. That is the way my dating life is too. I don't want to just go out on causal dates with just any guy from a dating service or another town. That's not me. I want that one that has been a friend to me before we start to "date" and that I know God has for me. I don't even want to call it dating. I want to be friends and go on group dates until the right guy is ready to prove himself and ready to get serious. I know what I want already just by my guyfriends and the different ones I've had in my life. I believe that God will show me too in His Timing. It sounds sappy but that's how I was raised. I was raised in a different world and been in one ever since then. I just didn't see it til it is almost gone from me and is slipping away but isn't that when we see everything that is most important to us.
              Like I said, I know this might be a little too much information for a blog, but I hope girls younger then me read this and see there are girls (woman) out there that still believe the "old" way of dating. That they believe that God has someone for them and if not then God will use them just as they are in a more important way then they ever thought could happen. We all have dreams and we can dream them but we have to be happy where we are first so God can bring more things into our lives. We have to see that God is the #1 and not some guy. God will put things into place as it should be.
               This is something I have been thinking a lot about lately. Causal dating and being by myself and here is my answer to myself written out. I've made my choice. I have hobbies and a job to do until the one comes along if he ever does and if not then I have a dream to go after and I can start going after it right now even without him. I hope this makes somewhat of sense. Please if anyone has questions ask me. I won't be scared to answer any. I don't want to make the wrong impression towards or for anyone. If it is hard to understand please ask me.

A Boy and a Pair of Snow Boots

       It all started last Friday. It kind of started before then because the girls had dressy, cowgirl sort of boots and the boys didn't because we didn't have any for the boys. This little boy saw the boots that the girls had so he wanted some just like theirs. Well, we went to look for some but couldn't find anything but some work boots. This little boy was not happy with his work boots because he wanted snow boots. It took us a half a hour and almost 3 people get him to put them on Friday so he could go outside and play. I sat down with him and started talking to him about what was wrong and if I could help. He said he didn't like his boots because he wanted snow boots.
         I had this feeling in me like I did with my little girl and her Bible. That feeling of he just wanted something really bad that he never had how much is it to us to buy a pair of boots if he wanted them. You just need to talk to and find out what they want and if you can get them then my saying is get them. Money is not ever wasted on a little child that has nothing. He came outside after awhile and sat down at the table. He was still upset about the boots so I went over to talk to him and see what was wrong and why her didn't like the boots. He said, "I want snow boots. Blue snow boots." I made a deal with him and said," I will get you some blue snow boots if I can find some this weekend and bring them back after 2 nights. Ok?" I had to repeat myself to make sure he didn't think I would bring them back the next day. I told him though, "Until then you have to where these boots" and he said, "ok." after a little while.
             I went that night to get the boots after work because I was scared that if I wouldn't get them right away I would forget later. The store I went to did not have blue snow boots but they had camo snow boots. I hastiated back and forth thinking what if he really meant he wanted blue snow boots. What if he doesn't like these or what if they don't fit? I got the same size as his work boots but his work boots seemed too small but that is all the sizes the store had. I went ahead and got them anyways because hopefully he won't remember the exact color he wanted. Hopefully, he will be happy with what he gets. Most of these children are.
             Like I said I went ahead and got them, then I thought maybe I should wait to give them to him when it gets a little colder because it still has been in the 60s here. I thought it would be too hot for them. Came Monday I went ahead and took the snow boots to work and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is "do you have my snow boots." He did remember from 3 days ago. I said, "Yes, but wait until we go outside." He put them on before we went out and never took them off yesterday. He gave me a hug but that is because I asked for one but it was a hug that had more feeling to it. When I say he didn't take them off and all, the only time he took them off was to take a bath. Then he put them back on over his footie pjs.
              I didn't get to see much of this but I heard that he did take them off during movie time but he kept them close by him. Like if someone even walked near him or them, he would hold onto them tightly. All this for a little pair of snow boots but yet we have a hundred of shoes in our closet. If you are me, you have a hundred pairs of flip flops in the closet. Why can't we just be thankful for the simple, small things all the time? Why can't we just be thankful for the things we already have this holiday season instead of rushing to Black Friday or getting really busy.
            Just to spend time with family around the table or tree is something spiecal to have. We'll see how Dec. goes for me at this job. Might be hard because no one in the world should be without family during the holidays. These two are my favorite ones because of that time we get to spend together. The traditions made as a family. Just my two cents. :)

Simple Life But Confusing Prayers

       Something just come to my mind when I was in my small church group last night. We were talking about prayer and being delivery agents for God and it has really made me think. I think what made me think was we can pray wherever we are to be a delivery agent just by a short, simple prayer and be willing for God to use us in the way He has Planned for us. He will bring the people to match us and that needs what we are learning and what He is teaching us too. Then I got to thinking about how I live my life and the kind of life I like compared to my prayer life. I live a simple life yet I have long and confusing prayers.
         By living the simple life I mean I don't need to stay up to date with clothes or anything like that. I would love to live the simple, country life when I get married or someday by myself. I don't mind a small house/apartment. I don't need anything big or fancy. I would rather give my money to help people that need help. I think my life is so simple though because my prayer life is so long and confusing. I spend more time thinking about things then I should and asking God for things that I want most of the time and not what He wants or is able to do through me.
         By having a long and confusing prayer life, I mean I will write a 4 sometimes 5 page prayer at time telling God what I am thinking, what I want in the future or now, what is going on and what I want to happen, or even sometimes telling him what is wrong and how it would be nice if He fixed it this way or that. That's not my job at all. God already has my Future planned out, I just need to be willing and open to follow Him with it. I can tell you know that it is not looking the easiest but that is why God is in it and needs to be in it. I want God to use me the best He knows how and for the real reason He put me here on this earth. I want to change lives and for those of you who have known me forever or just a few years you know I've always wanted that. I do have a heart for God's people.
         There was a saying last night that got to me and it was, "We can see a little bit of enertity now if we let God use us in the way He wants to here on earth. How neat would it be for me to see enertity in the eyes of children? See their lives change for the better because of me? We can't just sit around and let God do the work for us. He wants us involved thats why we need to say, "Here I am Lord, Send me." We need to be more observant in today's world. I know God has opened my eyes here where I live to how many children really needs a foster home. I knew there were abused and negetled children the world but not in my own backyard until I started the job I have now. I've always wanted to go overseas and help those children but God has opened my eyes and made me see the need here in this state.
         God has just opened my eyes so much more and made me more observant and curious to where I look into things and watch for things having to do with fost care or adopting or other things close to that. I have talked to people lately that does those things and I thought I never would. I have got to know some amazing more because of that new interest and dream of mine. People I can relate too for once and it feels great.
           I want my simple lifestyle to match my prayer life. I want my prayer life to be simple and ready to go where God would have me be no matter the situtations. I want to stop those long prayers and just be like Lord, I'm here send me espially in the mornings and throughout my day. I need to learn to just pray that throughout my day whether on the drive to or from work, at work, or in the store shopping. Wherever it might be, I want God to use me. Simple and Short. Maybe I won't worry as much or be anxious as much if I do it that way.
              I wonder what is "a confusing life but a simple prayer life" like. That could be the kind of life I am talking about now. That could be the life I'm living now. I don't know what is next for me but I'm trusting and praying to God about it. Could changing it around make the whole difference? Maybe I don't want my prayer life to match my simple life? Maybe I want my prayer life to match my confusing life? Hopefully, tommrow I will start putting steps up on here about my future dream and where I think God is leading me to. I have 6 steps but only 4 planned out so far. Hope this makes sense I had to write fast because I need to leave for work.