Waiting with His Love and Grace

        The word that God has been putting on my heart lately is......Waiting with His Love and Grace. God has been putting "waiting" on my heart since yesterday morning and He has been putting the words "love" and "Grace" on my heart since last Monday. I feel like God has put a lot of people (aka my friends) around me that are just waiting for things like another job, college, or their dream to come true. I feel like I'm waiting for a lot of things too.
         The things I'm waiting for is to go to grad school again and the way to go, having not just a job but a career, getting married, having a family, and adopting. Those are the desires of my heart right now along with everyone else's that is around me. I can relate to 3 people because it is one or the other of these things. It maybe not just one but two of these things to for that other person.
         It is strange that I'm just thinking the words "Love" and "Grace" over and over again too. It is just that God is trying to show me something through all of this. I have lived my life in His Love and Grace. That's for sure. Everything I have done in my life has been because of His Love and Grace. I will write more about that later in another entry. Then why can't I wait in His Love and Grace and just Trust that He will give me my heart's desires.
          The strange thing is, though, His Love and Grace for me as always been given through me to other people. I guess I never thought about those two things for me. Waiting in His Love and Grace. Enjoying the time in it while I have it to myself. Really, I do have it all to myself most of the time now expect when I'm working with the children or talking to friends. I get to soak in it all by myself and it is fun at some points but then other points I just want to share it. It is meant to be shared.
           While you wait with those two things, it gives you hope too. It says that no matter what happens in the time of waiting, His love and grace will be with me to get me through. To lead me down the right path. To make me see things that I would have never seen other wise. People do just say.....Wait......a lot but they never say it with something of God's. If it is anything it is His Timing but His Love and Grace are most important. It is those two things that keeps you going, not the timing. It is just like the children I work with they are waiting for someone to love them but while they are waiting they are hoping in, whether they believe it or not, in His Love and Grace. It is His Love and Grace that keeps human nature running its course.
             If you think waiting is bad or boring......look at it another way........look at it with His Love and Grace and then you will see things even the small things in that waiting time that could help you get to those things or be better at those things. Sometimes the Wait is not so bad. That is when He grows us the most.
            Friends, wait in His Love and Grace. He will not let you down in the end.

Cleaning with Vinegar

       You know in those moments when you think "Oh, I'll never do that or be like that" but then you turn out to be like that. There is a lot of DIY things that makes it cheaper on you as a person to have like cleaners and decorations and so on. For some reason, those things get me to thinking when I actually do those things like cleaning with vinegar. I knew it was a good cleaner and learned that in college and other ways but never thought I would do it.
          Of course, I was in college when I thought that. I was stubborn and thought I could get everything with money and so on but that's not the way my life is going right now. I also thought, like in an earlier entry, I could make my own food but right now it is the easiest to make boxed food. It is something I do need to get use to because with my dream, I will be supporting children with the money that is being made and making things like cleaners and clothes. Not really, but it is possible because I know how.
            Things cost so much these days. There are barely any small or big families that live on homemade things. You do that now if you are just single and by yourself because really there is no one else to care. You work and/or go back to school until you find the one that is right for you. Cleaning with vinegar, also humbles me a lot because it makes me see how much money I really have. It is a part of the missionary life. I might not have enough money to by name brand cleaners but at least I have some money to buy vinegar. Some people don't even have that much money.
             I will admit I would like to take the recipes and crafts off of Pinterest and do those someday. I learned to make my own clothes, blankets, and laundry soap while cooking for 10 people in a big house. Sometimes if people really know me that will say that I want marriage and I won't argue with them because it is true but there are some things I want before that and I just have to learn the fastest way to do things now as a single and then I can do the other things when I get a bigger house or get married. It is just no point in doing it now for me even though I could start living that way so I will be use to it when I do get married.
             That might be my New Year's resolution, making my own things. I can save money that way for school and a family plus it is fun. People always say prepare for marriage and this is the way I want it. This is what I want. It is funny because I'm taking the preparing for marriage the totally opposite way that some girls would but that is me. I am the simple, country girl. Put me in a cabin out in the woods and I would make it. I like to make life as simple as I can. Might not seem like it sometimes because I am a deep thinker too but doing things I like the simplest of ways.
               Whether it is cleaning with vinegar or a name brand cleaner, just remember the kind of life you are living. Do you want to live where you are making a difference or where you are just following someone else? I turned this whole entry into a thought process. Like how I did that? You can turn anything into a learning and thinking process.

Pray for the Nations

         "My Temple will be called a place of prayer for all nations."- Mark 11:17a

      I have nothing else to write right now so I'm writing about this verse because it has been on my mind and bathroom mirror this month.
     I heard this verse during a sermon one Saturday night. I would love it to be the theme of my house (now apartment). I am the person that loves missions and ministries. I'm that person that love to pray for other children and people in other nations. Why can't it be?
     I have been to Mexico and Guatemala and seen so many things. Been to trash dumps and orphanages in those to countries. I love everyone of those children. I have seen children on the street selling things to barely get by. Helping their parents while walking all day. I sponsor a little girl (not so little anymore) from the Philippines through Compassion International. I know too many children not to pray for them whether in other nations or here in the states. That is not the only way I am thinking about this verse and the word "nations".
      Besides the the "real" nations, the word means more to me and the meaning is the different cultures around me. The word "nation" really means: a large body of people, associated with a particular territory, that is sufficiently conscious of its unity to seek or to possess a government peculiarly its own. Cultures like Hispanic, abused, homeless, hunting, plus more. Everyone needs to be prayed for. We have so many "little nations" around us if we just look where we least expect it. I know the meaning is talking about just countries but replace the word "territory" and it is simple.
          Although, you could leave that word in there too. It is just saying that a group of people that are passionate about the same thing and wanting to come together because of that passion to do something about it, to own it is a nation. Even Christians are a "nation" because we are passionate about Jesus Christ and we want people to know and Love Him. We are shining for Him. A "nation" could really be your job, church, friends, or even family.
         Taking this verse as is, "Let your house or place of living be called a place of prayer for everyone around you plus those who you come in contract with throughout the day." AKA: Let's pray for everyone that needs it. Prayer is that important and God cares about people that much. He cares enough for us to bring our problems and blessings to Him. God gets to know us through our prayers because we share things with Him then we never would with anyone else. WE ARE ASSOCIATED WITH GOD. HE IS OUR CREATOR AND FATHER.

Activities to Help Teach Children

           I never thought about activities to help with conflicts or just to get to know the children but I learned today that activities can do both of those. Maybe that is why I love to do crafts or school things with the little children? The way I am doing it now it is letting me have one on one with them and teach them how to do things they have probably never done before. If schools saw activities more this way then maybe children would want to learn better. Especially today's children.
           I have two ways that activities that can help children and youth and why it helps them the way it does. It is something else that I really have to look into and learn about somehow.
One way is to use activities and basic needs for initial communication after or during a conflict. Why? It is often easier to talk over a game of cards (aka preschool making something) or a snack. ACTIVITIES AND FOOD TEND TO PUT PEOPLE AT EASE AND MAKE COMMUNICATION FLOW.  For adults, that makes since to, especially for me, because I have to keep doing something to calm down or I will response in a negative way. I will also think about things that are not true and then get worked up about those things. Once you are walking with a friend or playing a sport it is easy not to even think about what bothered you and just talk.
             Then it is common sense to know that activities are used to form relationships and it helps youth with their willingness to form one with someone else that they are just getting to know and that is true for all of us. You might ask why is using activities such an easy way to form relationships. When you do an activity with the child, it puts the child at ease (no tension) and it seems non-threating because you are having fun with them. Talking about having fun, you also satisfy that need to have fun. Children and youth might not be use to fun because they have been in charge or scared to do anything fun because they don't know what it will end up like so they need to be taught that it is okay in a safe place.
               The thing I love about using activities is that it is the best way, in my opinion, to provide opportunities to teach skills and to model behavior. It is also more effective when used to support and encourage, rather than as a reward or punishment. Learning all of this in a meeting as helped me realize that I am doing a lot for those children while I'm doing crafts with them and that we need to do more. It might be easier to do it a a middle school or teenage level because you can sometimes see the change right away but preschoolers needs it just as much. I know they need emotional and mental help most of the time but crafts and other activities besides just playing can help them learn a lot in every way especially we when take time to think about what kind of activity to do with them.
             I just happy that I have something to back me up now when people ask me why do you do some much with the children or spend so much on them. You learn through everything you do even crafts and sitting in circle time.

Schedules and Boxed Food

         You might be thinking, "What a strange title that is for a entry!" Let me explain, though. For the past month or two, I have been really trying out an everyday schedule and noticing how "normal" people use boxed food because they are busy and not lazy. I thinking about starting to live off of boxed food and fresh fruits and veggies. Anyways, here are my explanations for both and what difference they have made in my life. I will admit too, I have had people tell me months before to use a schedule of some kind but I never stuck with it.
          Let's start with something that I am actually doing right now and how it came about. You remember that women's Bible study I was taking back a month ago? Well, that is what got me started in this whole scheduling thing. The first thing that I was reminded off was that God cares about every little details of our lives so we should too. In our Bible study book, there was a chapter on how to organized things. You would think, being the person that I am, I would have my personal life organized and down pat. Well, I don't I just like everyone else to be organized or that was how it seemed. There was an organization chart that you could fill out of your daily routines. What you had to do that day.
            It was a few weeks after the Bible study was over that I really got to thinking about it and got to where I could use that chart. Now I was just thinking about using it for the things I should be doing everyday or every other day like they are "suppose" to be used. I thought once I got my daily routine down again with new things added in then I could stop using those charts after I run out. Let me tell you that I am not going to stop using something smailiar to those chart like a daily planner and I will have it out on my table at home. Just like the charts are. I'll admit it is kind of like a child having a daily chore chart. When you look at it through God's eyes, that is exactly what it is through because we are His Children and we should shine His Light.
            I know I am getting a lot more done and it is bringing out the best in me. I like seeing everything crossed off at the end of the day. It is very rewarding. I know I sound like a child but it is true and it runs in the family in a good way. Plus today's world is just that busy where we do have to write down everything to remember it. We have so much to do in 24 hours and they can change but time can't.
            Now about the boxed food. I got to thinking about this when I here my single friends talk and even young parents or young married couples with or without children. It goes back to the fast pace of today's world and that it is only me in an apartment right now. I LOVE to cook! More then anything, I LOVE to cook WITH people. It's not as fun when you have to do it by yourself. It can also be my stress reliever in so many ways. There is a reason my degree is in FACS but it is hard cooking for just one person especially when you have grown up with 5 people in the house and had big holidays every holiday. You don't know how to cook smaller sizes. Even though, I might miss cooking at times like taking hours to cook. Mix and back sort of thing. The easy boxed food has their advantages too.
           I can cook a tray of cookies in 5 to 10 mins instead of a half a hour. I can have some unique things that I would never thought of making myself or don't know how just yet. You can make it for as many people as you want. Sometimes depending on how many you have in your family that is even way faster then making food because it comes in a big box. It just depends on your lifestyle  and career right now. I'm noticing that even though I love to bake, it is not the prefect time for me to cook. I am single and I have a job that I love but can make me sleepy and emotional at times so I need something easy to bake when I get home.
          For me, it is kind of like I have children that I take care of all day and then I come home and cook something fast for me. It would be that way if I had young children of my mine so why not get use to it now, right? It is strange how God can open your eyes to little things like these and make you see that those things make life much easier for you so you can spend more time with Him.

First Snow Day in the Fall

          There is no better way to spend the first snow day then with your own nephews. The leaves look so pretty with the snow on them. All of those different colors shining under a white blanket of snow. It was a lot to really play it but it was fun to walk out in it and watch them ride their bikes in it. I had a moment with my nephews that was pretty funny but before I share that I want to share what I thought when I first just looked out at the big falling snowflakes. They were big at first and then they got smaller when the day went on.
           The reason I was standing frozen on the porch and thinking while I was watching it come down was, "How fun would it be to be out in this falling snow while hunting?" Yes, I know most of you must think I am crazy but it is true. I wouldn't even have to be hunting as long as I was with someone that could hunt. I could enjoy God's beautiful creation with snow on top of everything. It would even be prettier if a deer came along in it. Could you just image that picture? Red and brown leaves with snow falling down and a deer right in the middle of everything.
           Anyways, back to reality because right now that is not my reality at all. Hint it would be a great birthday wish come true. :) Back to spending the day with my nephews. We spent the morning making two crafts. One was a pumpkin for Thanksgiving and the other one, believe it or not, was a paper plate snowman. The funny thing about the snowman was tat right after we got done making it. That is when it started to snow. They really wanted to build a real snowman out of snow but we didn't get enough to do that. We got enough just to barely cover the ground. They did make a few small snowballs from the snow of the back of my car and off of other things outside. I did get hit once with one snowball but that was it.
           Then we did come back in had hot cocoa to warm up. Then after lunch, we made more Christmas and wintery crafts with our feet and hands. It was a busy day, but at the same time, a fun day.  It was a fun first snow day for me. That's for sure. Otherwise, I would just be in my apartment probably just sewing some more circles together.
            This was more of a memory entry then a "teachable moment" entry. That is why it is so short. It was half of what my day was like. The most important parts at least. You know what was funny, though, through this day I learn in so many ways that one: God gives us 2nd chances (more reminded of that one) and two: God wants us to live a meaningful life, which both of them together comes down to: God has a plan for our lives. As the sermon was about last night at church, God is the ruler over our lives or at least should be. Those three things go together perfectly and I believe that there is a reason that God taught be those lessons in the same weekend. He will show me in His Time, though.

Saying, "I Love You"

          As I was laying in bed wide awake last night, I thought, "When do I say I love you to anyone and when do I really mean it? What does it feel like when I do mean and how can I tell?" To be honest, it got me to worrying so much I was a wake for sometime. I know I have wrote about the different kinds of love in the past months and I'm starting to think that there are those different kinds. I never really thought about, though, how or when I say it and what I'm doing in that moment.  Here are just some types and moments where I do say, "I love you" and what I feel like if I can explain it.
           First, I say I love you to the children that I work with because they need to hear it from someone. There are moments there where I do love them more then others but I try to say it as often as I can especially if I feel a connection with them. To me, it is important that every child should know that they are loved no matter what. I try to tell them at the worst of times and at the best of times so they know no matter what I will always love them. If I do get a real connection with them I will know because I will say "I love you" before they leave and try not to cry while saying it.
           Second, I say "I love you" to my family. More to my nieces and nephews because they need to know that their aunt loves them. I tell them that when they leave and/or at bedtime. It is sort of a strange feeling because I'm not use to saying "I Love you" in my immediate family but the little kids need to know and it is just cute how they say it back. It makes an aunt feel special. I hesitate for some reason every now and again but I know they need to hear it so I say it. If that makes any sense at all.
            Third, I'll be honest I don't say "I love you" to anyone in my immediate family which is sad but at the same time I know they love me when they help me out with things or just because we get along so well. I know I will take that for granted one day so I need to get better at it but none of us share our feelings (aka talk about them) and maybe it is because I never really grew up around most of them. Sounds bad but being second to youngest it is true. I only got really close to my little brother and remember most of the things I did with him. The others were off in their teenage years and college years.
             Fourth, I sometimes wonder about the fourth kind of love and if I will ever be able to say "I love you" to my husband. Will I ever be able to say "I love you" to just one guy and get a certain feeling every time I say it? Will I know when to say it? I want to know what that feels like but then it is so hard to wrap my mind around. I want the experiences that come with saying that but at the same time it just makes me scared. It is a kind of commitment that I'm willing to make because I am that loyal type but when and how.
            Last but not least, God's unconditional Love for us. It is us saying "I love you because you first loved me". God showed us what real Love looks like and in a way we might feel different or think different things with these different people but we are doing the same thing as God did for us. He gave up something for us and that something was His Son, Jesus Christ. We give up time, money, energy, passions, and other things for human love but could we ever give up another human for more love. Could we ever make that sacrifice? Think about it the next time you say "I love you" to someone. I'm not comparing the two loves but it is a great reminder about how much God's Love is then any other of these loves.