So I just thought I would write down a little entry for me, myself, and I to remember some things as the new year starts. I was just thinking about how my friends' lives are changing all around me again and I am happy for them all. Then, again, there is still me trying to figure out what I want to do with my life still. 2017's goal is to get to a place or on something that I can make a change in my life. It can be something like starting to date to starting a ministry. I know between there is a big space and a lot of choices.
I decided to write some things down so I wouldn't forget about them later in the new year. Here are some of the choices that I have been thinking about off and on for the past 2 or more years:
-Working as an admin. in the Childcare field
-Being a Lead teacher for a long time in the childcare field
-Start some kind of ministry for children or that idea could be open more
-Work at a public school as a teacher
-Travel to places
-Be a missionary to Guatemala or one of those for a year programs
-Starting to sell homemade crafts on my own
-Going back to school for a Master's in teaching
-Going back to school for a Master's in child life specialist
-Getting a small house of my own.
I have these ten things running through my mind no wonder I have anxiety really bad. I just can't stick with one and go for it. Is it because I am so scared of commitment even with non-personal things. They also go back and forth depending on my mood. Like I was trying to study for the GRE to go back to school for the child life specialist but just looking at the book for that stressed me out for some reason. Then there is a thing called money that I am really low on right now so craft making looks like the best bet for me now.
I could go on with reasons why I don't want to do things but yet those things are still on my mind at times. I won't give those reasons because it is late and I should be going to bed right now. I also said this was going to be small entry so I will keep it small and simple.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Christmas Break 2016
I have had a crazy Christmas break so far. It has been really busy too. Busy with family and more family. :) Christmas eve and a day plus my birthday has past so I got them done and over with. The two main holidays but I still have New Years to go through. I did have fun on those two holidays and they were somewhat relaxing because we are spending presents out throughout this week so people are coming at different times. It makes the week busy but the days easier. I also have one of my sisters spending the week with my parents so we are keeping their kids busy too.
As a family, we also went to Christmas Eve service the night of the 24th. It was kind of strange though because the candles were going almost at the time during the service. Because of that, I had to blow out my candle before we were done singing the songs. The candles were dipping so bad too that I had a lot of wax on my hand after we were done with them. For Christmas Day, we had my oldest sister over with her daughters and son and we opened presents and had a brunch in that morning. We got ready for the brunch the night before and the morning of. We had a French Toast Casserole, some oranges and pineapple, breakfast pizza casserole, bacon, and orange juice. On the 23rd we starting making some Christmas candy and my nieces were over plus an old friend of mine. Both of those days were relaxing as well.
On the 26th, my mom, youngest sister, and me went shopping in Springfield for my birthday. I brought mostly clothes but also some few books and shoes. We also ate lunch at FD Grillhouse and I had some kind of pasta, of course. Then, we went home and that is when my second oldest sister showed up at home after traveling all morning.
I ended up playing Barbies with my niece Monday night from when they got here til it was time for bed for her. Then the grown ups started to put a puzzle together and finished that night too. Then that is how I started out my birthday on Tuesday. I woke up and my niece wanted me to play Barbies right away at the moment she saw me. I told her I had to eat breakfast first so I did and then I played with her for an hour. I also got to play with one of my nephew while playing with her. He had a toy store made out of a big cardboard box where the Barbies could buy things. Then in the evening is when we had my party. We had some thick noodles, mashed potatoes, green beans, and rolls.
After supper, I opened all the presents that I had. Then after that, we had the Mississippi Mud Cake with some sprinkles on it in a shape of a snowflake with some Peppermint Ice Cream and Eggnog ice cream. My friend was back for all of the evening so it was good seeing her again. My oldest nieces were also there during my birthday supper and they even spent the night last night and went home today.
We took them home before we went to shop a little more in Springfield. We shopped at Hobby Lobby and Sam's today. I brought another book and some crafts to do later on. I also brought some new pjs. Now we are ready for another candy baking day tomorrow and getting ready for New Year's Eve and Day. I thought I had a lot more to write but those were and are the main points of my break so far this week. I will try to write one more entry before Jan. 1st but it just depends on how busy I am in the next few days and if I can get away from everything.
As a family, we also went to Christmas Eve service the night of the 24th. It was kind of strange though because the candles were going almost at the time during the service. Because of that, I had to blow out my candle before we were done singing the songs. The candles were dipping so bad too that I had a lot of wax on my hand after we were done with them. For Christmas Day, we had my oldest sister over with her daughters and son and we opened presents and had a brunch in that morning. We got ready for the brunch the night before and the morning of. We had a French Toast Casserole, some oranges and pineapple, breakfast pizza casserole, bacon, and orange juice. On the 23rd we starting making some Christmas candy and my nieces were over plus an old friend of mine. Both of those days were relaxing as well.
On the 26th, my mom, youngest sister, and me went shopping in Springfield for my birthday. I brought mostly clothes but also some few books and shoes. We also ate lunch at FD Grillhouse and I had some kind of pasta, of course. Then, we went home and that is when my second oldest sister showed up at home after traveling all morning.
I ended up playing Barbies with my niece Monday night from when they got here til it was time for bed for her. Then the grown ups started to put a puzzle together and finished that night too. Then that is how I started out my birthday on Tuesday. I woke up and my niece wanted me to play Barbies right away at the moment she saw me. I told her I had to eat breakfast first so I did and then I played with her for an hour. I also got to play with one of my nephew while playing with her. He had a toy store made out of a big cardboard box where the Barbies could buy things. Then in the evening is when we had my party. We had some thick noodles, mashed potatoes, green beans, and rolls.
After supper, I opened all the presents that I had. Then after that, we had the Mississippi Mud Cake with some sprinkles on it in a shape of a snowflake with some Peppermint Ice Cream and Eggnog ice cream. My friend was back for all of the evening so it was good seeing her again. My oldest nieces were also there during my birthday supper and they even spent the night last night and went home today.
We took them home before we went to shop a little more in Springfield. We shopped at Hobby Lobby and Sam's today. I brought another book and some crafts to do later on. I also brought some new pjs. Now we are ready for another candy baking day tomorrow and getting ready for New Year's Eve and Day. I thought I had a lot more to write but those were and are the main points of my break so far this week. I will try to write one more entry before Jan. 1st but it just depends on how busy I am in the next few days and if I can get away from everything.
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
A Winter Day with the Children
I enjoyed a winter day, yesterday, with my children. It has been awhile since I wrote about my job and the children so I thought it was time for an entry about them. It was so much fun! I haven't had a day that I enjoyed as much as I didn't yesterday. It just seemed easygoing and peaceful even with the children talking loudly and rudely at some points in the day. It felt like I was comfortable there and knew what I was doing. It was like I wasn't trying to do or go anywhere else but there with the kiddos. I wonder if the coloring I did yesterday morning helped me out because my mind was clear of the stresses of life because I did that.
I also finished Christmas shopping and saw some deer on the road and no morning nap for me so I had a pretty good morning too. Just to put this in here, we had snow and ice the weekend before. More ice then snow though so, for me, it was also a pretty relaxing weekend because I didn't want to get out in that messy weather.
I don't know what helped or if all of them together did but we got a lot done yesterday and had fun doing it. First, we got to go outside and play for about 10 mins. The kids ran straight to the snow/ice mixture and played in it for a little bit. There was a big patch of it left in the shade. They all tried to make snowballs and snow angels out of it but it wasn't the right stuff. The girls played in it for most of their outside time but the boys found something else to play on. There was some ice on one of the short slides so they decided to go down it and they kept going down it until it was time to go inside. The idea of throwing snowballs gave me an idea for later on in the day.
After going back inside, we went to the art room and did some art alone, just my group, and that was fun. We finished painting our Christmas ornaments finally. They took us about three days to keep them done. Then we made a little candle out of a paper plate. The kids got to paint a lot so they loved it and it did keep them busy the whole time. The candles was more for the holiday of Dwali but they didn't need to know that. The only bad thing about yesterday was they were quite talkative so I didn't try to explain anything to them.
When we got done with our crafts, we went to the gym because they still needed to get rid of some energy since we didn't spend our usual half a hour to hour outside because it was cold. I let them chase each other around the gym with paper snowballs. I know there was a certain game to play with snowballs but they just had fun chasing each other with them. There were only a few children left because it was at the end of the day so I just let them run it out and play chase. We also turned out the lights in the gym and pretended that we were throwing snowballs at night. The children had a lot of fun with that. They didn't want me to turn the lights back on at all.
I even got in on the fun and they threw snowballs at me and then I would throw them back and even chase them. I do have to say they started it first. They were the ones that threw the first snowball at me. :) It was fun running around with them and it just took things off my mind for a bit. Then I stopped playing because it wasn't a fair game if I continued it. By the end of the game, it was against 3 girls and one boy so that is when I called it quits and we went back into the cafe to play. So Yeah, in a strange way, it was a fun Monday for me yesterday and I was glad about it but I also really sleepy when I got home. As soon as my head hit my pillow, I was gone. They worn me out yesterday.
I also finished Christmas shopping and saw some deer on the road and no morning nap for me so I had a pretty good morning too. Just to put this in here, we had snow and ice the weekend before. More ice then snow though so, for me, it was also a pretty relaxing weekend because I didn't want to get out in that messy weather.
I don't know what helped or if all of them together did but we got a lot done yesterday and had fun doing it. First, we got to go outside and play for about 10 mins. The kids ran straight to the snow/ice mixture and played in it for a little bit. There was a big patch of it left in the shade. They all tried to make snowballs and snow angels out of it but it wasn't the right stuff. The girls played in it for most of their outside time but the boys found something else to play on. There was some ice on one of the short slides so they decided to go down it and they kept going down it until it was time to go inside. The idea of throwing snowballs gave me an idea for later on in the day.
After going back inside, we went to the art room and did some art alone, just my group, and that was fun. We finished painting our Christmas ornaments finally. They took us about three days to keep them done. Then we made a little candle out of a paper plate. The kids got to paint a lot so they loved it and it did keep them busy the whole time. The candles was more for the holiday of Dwali but they didn't need to know that. The only bad thing about yesterday was they were quite talkative so I didn't try to explain anything to them.
When we got done with our crafts, we went to the gym because they still needed to get rid of some energy since we didn't spend our usual half a hour to hour outside because it was cold. I let them chase each other around the gym with paper snowballs. I know there was a certain game to play with snowballs but they just had fun chasing each other with them. There were only a few children left because it was at the end of the day so I just let them run it out and play chase. We also turned out the lights in the gym and pretended that we were throwing snowballs at night. The children had a lot of fun with that. They didn't want me to turn the lights back on at all.
I even got in on the fun and they threw snowballs at me and then I would throw them back and even chase them. I do have to say they started it first. They were the ones that threw the first snowball at me. :) It was fun running around with them and it just took things off my mind for a bit. Then I stopped playing because it wasn't a fair game if I continued it. By the end of the game, it was against 3 girls and one boy so that is when I called it quits and we went back into the cafe to play. So Yeah, in a strange way, it was a fun Monday for me yesterday and I was glad about it but I also really sleepy when I got home. As soon as my head hit my pillow, I was gone. They worn me out yesterday.
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Giving Time Instead of Money
I am where I can really write my own thoughts down instead of trying to fit my thoughts with something else. I know I haven't done an entry like this in awhile and that I need to get on it again. Hopefully, for the next few weeks, when I am home, I will have time to do that again. I picked this entry titled "Giving Time Instead of Money" because I think it is the perfect time to write about what really matters around this time of year. I have had the experience of giving time instead of money this
year more then usual. My time was given to the Compassion International by volunteering at their "Experience" that I have wrote about.
I usually spend the weekends before Christmas hanging out and going to Christmas parties with friends but I didn't this year. That cost money because of the gifts you have to buy and I went to a few and felt bad that I didn't have any gifts to give. I couldn't because I am low on money because of everything that happened this year so I gave my time instead. At the same time, I was talking to my mom while I was volunteering with Compassion during the Experience and I told her I wanted to sponsor another child. I was falling for another child but I am already sponsoring two of them from Compassion so I knew in my mind that I really couldn't. It was hard for me but I knew there was no way I have the money right now for three children.
My mom helped me to be okay with it a little bit by saying that I am giving my time to help more then just one child. I have helped a lot more children then just one. Might not seem like the same thing but it is. Without volunteers like me, ministries like "Compassion International" couldn't do what they do for the children. They would all be too tried out. It also felt pretty good giving my time this year especially to one of the ministries that I love and have a passion for. Really, giving the time is the most important gift that you can give to anyone or at least it is to me. I would rather spend time with the people I love, even if it was to see them for a few secs, then to give them something that would last a lifetime.
When I think about "giving time" and honestly, I just thought about this while I have been writing this entry. I do that a lot. Once I get to writing, I can't stop my mind from thinking as you might notice through all of my entries on here. "Giving time" is what Jesus did the most of for us. He defiantly gave us the time of 33 years on earth when He didn't have to. He gave us the time of being poor when He didn't have to. He took the time to teach people how to act when He didn't have to. He took the time to be nice to people when it was the hardest to be nice to them. If had to think what Jesus "love language" was I would guess quality time. How many of you would agree with me?
While we are buying, wrapping, and opening up gifts that people we love spent money on this year, don't forget about the time that it took them to look for that certain present or make that certain present or even the time they took out of their day to spend a day or a few hours with you. That goes the same for the big Christmas dinner and all the candy that they made. LOL! But really, Christmas is about giving time to the people we love more then anything else. To me, that is why there are so many more traditions during Christmas and why people are obsessive about them, especially me, because it is more of a quality time holiday then any other holiday of the year. Quietly time is one of my love languages too.
Think on that for awhile and see if you can come up with what traditions are quality time spent for you and with who you spend that kind of time with this Christmas.
year more then usual. My time was given to the Compassion International by volunteering at their "Experience" that I have wrote about.
I usually spend the weekends before Christmas hanging out and going to Christmas parties with friends but I didn't this year. That cost money because of the gifts you have to buy and I went to a few and felt bad that I didn't have any gifts to give. I couldn't because I am low on money because of everything that happened this year so I gave my time instead. At the same time, I was talking to my mom while I was volunteering with Compassion during the Experience and I told her I wanted to sponsor another child. I was falling for another child but I am already sponsoring two of them from Compassion so I knew in my mind that I really couldn't. It was hard for me but I knew there was no way I have the money right now for three children.
My mom helped me to be okay with it a little bit by saying that I am giving my time to help more then just one child. I have helped a lot more children then just one. Might not seem like the same thing but it is. Without volunteers like me, ministries like "Compassion International" couldn't do what they do for the children. They would all be too tried out. It also felt pretty good giving my time this year especially to one of the ministries that I love and have a passion for. Really, giving the time is the most important gift that you can give to anyone or at least it is to me. I would rather spend time with the people I love, even if it was to see them for a few secs, then to give them something that would last a lifetime.
When I think about "giving time" and honestly, I just thought about this while I have been writing this entry. I do that a lot. Once I get to writing, I can't stop my mind from thinking as you might notice through all of my entries on here. "Giving time" is what Jesus did the most of for us. He defiantly gave us the time of 33 years on earth when He didn't have to. He gave us the time of being poor when He didn't have to. He took the time to teach people how to act when He didn't have to. He took the time to be nice to people when it was the hardest to be nice to them. If had to think what Jesus "love language" was I would guess quality time. How many of you would agree with me?
While we are buying, wrapping, and opening up gifts that people we love spent money on this year, don't forget about the time that it took them to look for that certain present or make that certain present or even the time they took out of their day to spend a day or a few hours with you. That goes the same for the big Christmas dinner and all the candy that they made. LOL! But really, Christmas is about giving time to the people we love more then anything else. To me, that is why there are so many more traditions during Christmas and why people are obsessive about them, especially me, because it is more of a quality time holiday then any other holiday of the year. Quietly time is one of my love languages too.
Think on that for awhile and see if you can come up with what traditions are quality time spent for you and with who you spend that kind of time with this Christmas.
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Joy-The 3rd Advent of 2016
Luke 2:22-29-
22 When the time came for the purification rites required by the Law of Moses, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord 23 (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord”[a]), 24 and to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: “a pair of doves or two young pigeons.”[b]
-God's plan for his people is joy.
I have the feeling like I have to put something here so people will see that I have some of my own thoughts in this entry. I have my thoughts in three places counting this one. I like that God's plan for us is to have Joy all the time. Just think of what it would be like without having that joy. This world would not be the way it is today. If joy wasn't tried to the promise of a rescuer, then we wouldn't have any Hope to live for. We wouldn't have any reason to keep rejoicing from day to day. We would just be happy one day and that would be it. Think about everything that could go on if we were all happy here and there and didn't have that joy, especially that joy for a Greater Place then this earth. That is the GREAT JOY! If we want to know what God has in store for us, then we need to have joy in our lives. We need to know that God wants us to be joyful towards everyone and be joyful in His Presence so He will give us what He knows is best for us. When He gives us those things, when need to be joyful and thank Him for the things. I could start a whole other entry about joy and marriage to now that I am thinking about it but I won't for now.
-Joy is tied to the promise of a rescuer!
-Great joy!
Matthew 1:22-23
22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”[a] (which means “God with us”).
-Immanuel-God with us.
-God is so committed to your ultimate joy.
-Ps. 4:7
"Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound."
-Ps. 16:11
"You make known to me the path of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
-1 Sam. 2:1
"Then Hannah prayed and said:
-Ps. 95:1
"Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord;
let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation."
-"We experience joy but we long more of it."-Mark
22 When the time came for the purification rites required by the Law of Moses, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord 23 (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord”[a]), 24 and to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: “a pair of doves or two young pigeons.”[b]
25 Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. 26 It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. 27 Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, 28 Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
-God's plan for his people is joy.
I have the feeling like I have to put something here so people will see that I have some of my own thoughts in this entry. I have my thoughts in three places counting this one. I like that God's plan for us is to have Joy all the time. Just think of what it would be like without having that joy. This world would not be the way it is today. If joy wasn't tried to the promise of a rescuer, then we wouldn't have any Hope to live for. We wouldn't have any reason to keep rejoicing from day to day. We would just be happy one day and that would be it. Think about everything that could go on if we were all happy here and there and didn't have that joy, especially that joy for a Greater Place then this earth. That is the GREAT JOY! If we want to know what God has in store for us, then we need to have joy in our lives. We need to know that God wants us to be joyful towards everyone and be joyful in His Presence so He will give us what He knows is best for us. When He gives us those things, when need to be joyful and thank Him for the things. I could start a whole other entry about joy and marriage to now that I am thinking about it but I won't for now.
-Joy is tied to the promise of a rescuer!
-Great joy!
Matthew 1:22-23
22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”[a] (which means “God with us”).
-Immanuel-God with us.
-God is so committed to your ultimate joy.
-Ps. 4:7
"Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound."
-Ps. 16:11
"You make known to me the path of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
-1 Sam. 2:1
"Then Hannah prayed and said:
“My heart rejoices in the Lord;
in the Lord my horn[a] is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
for I delight in your deliverance."
in the Lord my horn[a] is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
for I delight in your deliverance."
"Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord;
let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation."
-"We experience joy but we long more of it."-Mark
I am going to write my thoughts between these two sayings because it seems like I am at that age in my life where they are true. All my friends are getting married and having babies. Yet I am on the road where I am finding out just what I want to do in life. I have hope that things will happen so I have joy in my life now. Happiness not so much. It comes and goes with the day.
I have a lot of joy for other people and am happy for them. I will even admit they give me joy sometimes but at other times I feel sad and hopeless for me but I try to be happy for them. I love watching some of my friends' videos because I can just laugh and be joyful for them. They also encourage me to keep going towards that Hope I need to have to keep moving forwards in life.
I have a lot of joy for other people and am happy for them. I will even admit they give me joy sometimes but at other times I feel sad and hopeless for me but I try to be happy for them. I love watching some of my friends' videos because I can just laugh and be joyful for them. They also encourage me to keep going towards that Hope I need to have to keep moving forwards in life.
-Joy is tried to a longing that is based on hope.
-Happiness is tried to a happening that is being experienced.
-John 16:20-21
"20 Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. 21 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world."
-Romans 12:12a
"12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
-Romans 15:13
-"Joy is peace dancing and peace is joy at rest."-FB Meyer
-Phil. 4:4, 5b, 7a, 9b
"4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-See and Savor-Path to Joy
You can see happiness but you can only savor Joy for a long time. Seeing happiness in a person is just for that moment in time. It is for the experience they went through then but that happiness also brings Joy and Hope to the person. That person is happy when they get good news about something or they see a friend doing great in their business but there is always joy that falls behind that happiness. Joy that the friends brought to that person at the hardest times in their life. Joy that keeps that person on the path God has for them alone. Joy that give that person the Hope they need to keep that Joy and keep going towards their own goals.
It might even be hard for the person who is spreading the happiness at times but they know that somehow it is making a difference in the lives around them. It is really hard to explain what Joy is and how Happiness and Joy are different but I hope you get the idea of what I am trying to say in my own words and examples along with the verses and quotes by my pastor. I understood it while I was at church and it just hit me in the strangest way but that may be because I need it at this moment in my life. Maybe it is because I do have more joy in my life right now and I was looking for happiness because I thought that is what push me on when really it was the joy behind that happiness. Not joy for myself but joy for the people around me.
Yes, I want to be happy for my friends and it would be so hard for me to be that way because I would think what about me now. Now that I know that joy comes with happiness and pushes me to my goals, I can think about it that way. I can be happy for them in that moment but have joy for them for longer especially when I know it has been something they have always wanted and a dream of theirs.
-Happiness is tried to a happening that is being experienced.
-John 16:20-21
"20 Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. 21 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world."
"12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
-"Joy is peace dancing and peace is joy at rest."-FB Meyer
-Phil. 4:4, 5b, 7a, 9b
"4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
-See and Savor-Path to Joy
You can see happiness but you can only savor Joy for a long time. Seeing happiness in a person is just for that moment in time. It is for the experience they went through then but that happiness also brings Joy and Hope to the person. That person is happy when they get good news about something or they see a friend doing great in their business but there is always joy that falls behind that happiness. Joy that the friends brought to that person at the hardest times in their life. Joy that keeps that person on the path God has for them alone. Joy that give that person the Hope they need to keep that Joy and keep going towards their own goals.
It might even be hard for the person who is spreading the happiness at times but they know that somehow it is making a difference in the lives around them. It is really hard to explain what Joy is and how Happiness and Joy are different but I hope you get the idea of what I am trying to say in my own words and examples along with the verses and quotes by my pastor. I understood it while I was at church and it just hit me in the strangest way but that may be because I need it at this moment in my life. Maybe it is because I do have more joy in my life right now and I was looking for happiness because I thought that is what push me on when really it was the joy behind that happiness. Not joy for myself but joy for the people around me.
Yes, I want to be happy for my friends and it would be so hard for me to be that way because I would think what about me now. Now that I know that joy comes with happiness and pushes me to my goals, I can think about it that way. I can be happy for them in that moment but have joy for them for longer especially when I know it has been something they have always wanted and a dream of theirs.
Monday, December 12, 2016
The Compassion Experience
The Compassion Experience was amazing! I got to do all of the things and trips. That's what my weekend was full of along with the Bentonville Christmas Parade with my mom and nephews. I went Saturday and went through two of the countries. The countries were Philippines and the Republic. I have a room that hit me the most and that I will remember forever in each one.
The room that got me in the Philippines was the house that was leaking because of the floods that happen there. I can't imagine the leaking in the houses every time it rains or floods and the families living in it. The girl's name was Kiwi and she grew up to be a nurse and in the medical field. That is where my first little girl is from so that is the real reason I went this time around.
The room that got me in the Dominican Republic was the house that the boy was living with his Grandpa and his Grandpa was drunk and mean to them so they had to move again.
The boy's name was Johnathan and he grew up to help other children on drugs and bad things. That is why he wanted to help teenagers like that because he went through the same thing growing up. He started a "home" for those type of children and most of them were teenagers. I didn't have time to do the third one on Saturday because I had to leave for church.
I went back on Sunday to volunteer with them and that was an experience in itself. I volunteered during the morning and part of the afternoon. They let me see the one that I didn't see on Saturday, which was Olivia from Africa. The room that got me there was the room where it showed her living in the jungle during the nights. She had soldiers looking after her and her family and friends. She also got aids when she was older because she went to live with her mom to be safe.
After I went through there, I was talked to about how things were ran and got to get into a place. The place that they put me was at the end where the children got sponsored so that was really neat. I got to help people pick children out, tell them my stories, and see how they taught their children Compassion through sponsoring a child. When we were getting ready to leave, the people in charge told us they really appreciated us because Sunday was going to be a busy day, especially in the morning and there was usually just the two of them working the sponsorship spot. I have the stories that I will never forget and some stories that I don't agree fully with.
I did see a lot of people coming out of the stories crying because they were really touched by them. I will start with a positive story and then end with another positive story. One of the girls were kind of like me when I first started to support my 17 year old. This girl wanted to give all of her savings that she has saved for 5 years to support the child that she picked out. That is what started me out with and I did pass it on until my mom until I was making more money in college. Then I took up the job of paying the amount and always have since then. It was amazing to hear that story about her giving it up at the young age. She was a teenager too. Crazy, that someone would do that same thing.
The room that got me in the Philippines was the house that was leaking because of the floods that happen there. I can't imagine the leaking in the houses every time it rains or floods and the families living in it. The girl's name was Kiwi and she grew up to be a nurse and in the medical field. That is where my first little girl is from so that is the real reason I went this time around.
The room that got me in the Dominican Republic was the house that the boy was living with his Grandpa and his Grandpa was drunk and mean to them so they had to move again.
The boy's name was Johnathan and he grew up to help other children on drugs and bad things. That is why he wanted to help teenagers like that because he went through the same thing growing up. He started a "home" for those type of children and most of them were teenagers. I didn't have time to do the third one on Saturday because I had to leave for church.
I went back on Sunday to volunteer with them and that was an experience in itself. I volunteered during the morning and part of the afternoon. They let me see the one that I didn't see on Saturday, which was Olivia from Africa. The room that got me there was the room where it showed her living in the jungle during the nights. She had soldiers looking after her and her family and friends. She also got aids when she was older because she went to live with her mom to be safe.
After I went through there, I was talked to about how things were ran and got to get into a place. The place that they put me was at the end where the children got sponsored so that was really neat. I got to help people pick children out, tell them my stories, and see how they taught their children Compassion through sponsoring a child. When we were getting ready to leave, the people in charge told us they really appreciated us because Sunday was going to be a busy day, especially in the morning and there was usually just the two of them working the sponsorship spot. I have the stories that I will never forget and some stories that I don't agree fully with.
I did see a lot of people coming out of the stories crying because they were really touched by them. I will start with a positive story and then end with another positive story. One of the girls were kind of like me when I first started to support my 17 year old. This girl wanted to give all of her savings that she has saved for 5 years to support the child that she picked out. That is what started me out with and I did pass it on until my mom until I was making more money in college. Then I took up the job of paying the amount and always have since then. It was amazing to hear that story about her giving it up at the young age. She was a teenager too. Crazy, that someone would do that same thing.
Then there was something I didn't really agree with and yes, there are different parenting styles and I understand that but still my heart feels sorry for those sheltered children. The were a couple of parents asking how kid friendly the stories and rooms can get. One of the staff was wondering what they meant by that and they didn't want their 7 year old listening to the video, which I can understand but they were even wondering about the rooms. One of the women even commented on how in one of the stories the mom died and she didn't want her 7 year old to hear that. I'm sorry but that is what is wrong with our country today. Our children are too sheltered. More then we think. If they want to show a child what really life is like then show him the poverty country, not the USA. We are better then the other countries. We are the only country like this.
How can you keep a child from things like those and then make sure they have compassion in their hearts as they grow? I also saw babies, few weeks and months old, going through the rooms. I also saw 3 year olds and 4 years olds go through those rooms so why not a 7 year old? Maybe it is just my heart and how I grew up but seeing people live poor then me really makes an impact on me. It is just really sad when you think about. How else will this 7 year old boy learn about true Compassion? I learned about another way that I need to think about raising my own children if the Lord is willing. Then I saw the total opposite and that is my other positive story.
There was a family of 3 kids and their mother was talking to them while picking out a child. Their mother made sure that they understood the cost they would have to pay to support the child. They each had to give up something like some of their allowance or something they liked. Each of the children said they would so they went ahead and sponsored one child. It was just so neat to see little and big children (aka teenagers) giving up something in today's world for a child far away. It was also interesting to see how interested they were in where the child lived and I heard a lot of them say that they wanted to go on a trip to see them or they picked one because they wanted to go to that country. It was just fun to see all the different styles used from parents to reach their children to help other children get out of poverty.
Of course, from me, who isn't surprised that I said that and this is what I got out of this weekend. I love seeing children's reactions to anything and everything. It was mainly the children to that wanted to do either 2 or all 3 of the stories. They were not happy with just one of them and the parents would usually take them through how ever many they wanted to go through. The different expressions were interested, happy, excited, and there were a lot of kids that were shocked by one of the children's shoes. Some of the children were also shocked by the jungle themed room and both of the drs. rooms. None of the children said anything about the home before they got sponsored or after they got sponsored, which I thought was pretty neat too.
All this to say that I want to sponsor my next child (3rd) from a Compassion Experience trailer when it comes around again next time. Hopefully, the mall will do it again soon. Yes, did you know that the Pinnacle Hills Mall in Rogers, AR actually called Compassion to come to the Mall. It was a church or anything. It was really the mall itself. I just thought that was totally awesome too!
Of course, from me, who isn't surprised that I said that and this is what I got out of this weekend. I love seeing children's reactions to anything and everything. It was mainly the children to that wanted to do either 2 or all 3 of the stories. They were not happy with just one of them and the parents would usually take them through how ever many they wanted to go through. The different expressions were interested, happy, excited, and there were a lot of kids that were shocked by one of the children's shoes. Some of the children were also shocked by the jungle themed room and both of the drs. rooms. None of the children said anything about the home before they got sponsored or after they got sponsored, which I thought was pretty neat too.
All this to say that I want to sponsor my next child (3rd) from a Compassion Experience trailer when it comes around again next time. Hopefully, the mall will do it again soon. Yes, did you know that the Pinnacle Hills Mall in Rogers, AR actually called Compassion to come to the Mall. It was a church or anything. It was really the mall itself. I just thought that was totally awesome too!
Thursday, December 8, 2016
Just One of Those Time
Have you ever just had one of those times? One of those times where you just want someone to bring you flowers and chocolate. One of those times where you just want someone to give you a hug. One of those times where you just want to be told that everything will be easier when you get older.
One of those times where you want to be a little kid again. One of those times where you just wish life could be a fairytale. One of those times where you want everything to make sense again. One of those times where you just feel normal. Just one of those times where you want to truly be happy again.
One of those times where you didn't have to have all of the responsibilities. One of those times where things didn't have to change so transitions would stay the same. One of those times where you could go to sleep peacefully without crying and thinking about things. Just one of those times where you feel like you don't have to fight everyone to get what you need.
One of those times where everyone took you for the age you really are. One of those times where you could talk clearer so people would understand you. One of those times where you could get back to your skinny self. One of those times where you don't have to worry about money. Just one of those times where you could be excited again.
One of those times where people used to talk face to face. One of those times where we could go play outside without worrying about the surroundings around us. One of those times where the month of December was an exciting month. Just one of those times where things are prefect and fun again. That is all I want for Christmas.
One of those times where you want to be a little kid again. One of those times where you just wish life could be a fairytale. One of those times where you want everything to make sense again. One of those times where you just feel normal. Just one of those times where you want to truly be happy again.
One of those times where you didn't have to have all of the responsibilities. One of those times where things didn't have to change so transitions would stay the same. One of those times where you could go to sleep peacefully without crying and thinking about things. Just one of those times where you feel like you don't have to fight everyone to get what you need.
One of those times where everyone took you for the age you really are. One of those times where you could talk clearer so people would understand you. One of those times where you could get back to your skinny self. One of those times where you don't have to worry about money. Just one of those times where you could be excited again.
One of those times where people used to talk face to face. One of those times where we could go play outside without worrying about the surroundings around us. One of those times where the month of December was an exciting month. Just one of those times where things are prefect and fun again. That is all I want for Christmas.
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The 5 paragraphs above was all I could think about last night while I was laying in bed so I started this entry early this morning about 6:00. I had a "fun"-filled day the rest of the day but something made me rethink this entry. I had an aunt moment was my one year old niece and it was this. Something happened to her today that made me see Christ a little stronger.
My sister in law and brother needed my help with her and the rest of the children because my niece had to go somewhere. I was there at the house and got to hold my niece before she left and I was there at the house when she got back. When she got back, she did a thing that she has never done with me before. I sat down on the floor and just held my arms out to her to hug her and she came walking right in that hug. She hugged me for a little bit too or at least to her it was.
I was thinking about a hug from a friend or even my mom next time I see them but God knew I needed it bad so He saved that moment right for us when we both needed that hug the worse. I would like to think of it to as a thank you hug from my niece because all she knew was I stayed at the house all day waiting for her. She has no idea what went on when she was gone. It is little moments like that where we miss the meanings of life if we don't take the time to look at the deeper meaning. I really believe that in a way God was in today for everyone that was dealing with hard times today. Just in different ways if we take the time to look at it.
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