Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

Less Carrying, Not Less Caring ❤️ Maybe “less is more” is bigger than just September. I’ve spent so much of my life carrying too much. When I care deeply, it can easily turn into carrying—carrying the kids, the classroom, other adults’ responsibilities, relationships, unanswered questions, and what I think might happen next. But the lesson isn’t that I need to care less. It’s learning the difference between caring and carrying. I can care about someone without carrying their choices. I can care about my students without carrying the whole classroom. I can care about Nathan without carrying the friendship for both of us. I can love people without making myself responsible for everything. This connects with what I’ve been learning about love not demanding its own way. Sometimes love releases instead of grabs. Sometimes healthy love says, “This part isn’t mine to carry.” Maybe that is the bigger lesson for this season of my life: LESS CARRYING. NOT LESS CARING.  I don’t have to stop b...

Tonight I realized that maybe one of the biggest things I’m learning through all of this is a completely different way of caring. I’ve always cared with my whole heart, and usually my heart gets there much faster than my mind does. When someone matters to me, my instinct is to do something—to reach out, figure things out, fix things, hold on, or make sure I don’t lose the person. But I’m learning that caring doesn’t always require action. I can care deeply about someone without chasing them. I can miss someone without immediately reaching for them. I can hope they remain in my life without trying to control how that happens. I can want answers and still give them time to come. And I can care enough to leave room for the other person to choose me as a friend, too. That’s especially difficult when something feels like a second chance. Part of me wants to scream, “I already lost twelve years! I’m not wasting another chance!” But maybe patience isn’t wasting the second chance. Maybe patien...

September Theme: Less Is More Apparently my ankle was like, “Since you refuse to slow down voluntarily, I have prepared a presentation.” 😂 Lesson 1: I am the para, not the teacher. I can do my job well, help my kids, and support the classroom without automatically taking on the teacher’s responsibilities. Lesson 2: Adults can remember their own schedules. I don’t have to be the person who notices, remembers, reminds, organizes, and fixes everything. I can do what is mine and let other adults carry what is theirs. Lesson 3: People can make their own moves. I don’t have to figure out whether they will be there, what everything means, or carry both sides of a possible friendship. I can care without chasing certainty. If they want to reconnect, they can carry their side too. Lesson 4: Tiffney does not have to carry the whole dang building.  Especially not while hobbling around on a sprained ankle! So maybe September’s lesson really is: LESS IS MORE. Less reminding. Less taking over. L...

Probably not from one single thing. Big-hearted fixer patterns usually develop from a combination of temperament and experience. From what I’ve shared, I’ve spent much of my adult life in caregiving roles—preschool, Head Start, the children’s shelter, church work, and now school. When you spend years around children, noticing a need and responding quickly becomes almost automatic. That’s a useful skill. But that skill can sneak into everything else: “I notice something is wrong → somebody needs to handle it → I know how to handle it → I’ll do it.” Do that often enough and eventually my brain can skip the middle steps and go straight from noticing to responsibility. My natural personality may contribute too. I’ve described myself as someone whose heart tends to react before my mind catches up. So I may naturally feel things strongly, notice people, and want to make situations better. And sometimes being the reliable fixer gets reinforced because it works. People depend on me. Things get...

Apparently, an old coworker/friend and I need to start taking the same advice we give kids all day: Use your words.  We both work with kids. We encourage them to communicate, ask for what they need, take turns talking, listen to each other, and not expect someone else to magically know what they’re thinking. Meanwhile, the old coworker/friend and me after twelve years: Him: “Hey.”  Me: “Hey.”  Both of us: Probably thinking 47 other things that neither one actually says.  In my defense, I’ve known some of my kids for two or three years. I know them. I’m comfortable with them. My old coworker is a grown man I haven’t really talked to in twelve years who suddenly appeared back in my workplace carrying an entire chapter of my past with him. So yes, I’m awkward. But sir… you’re going into mental health. What’s your excuse?  Of course, I know that’s not really fair. Talking to kids professionally is very different from talking to someone from your own past. Maybe that...

Something I’ve been thinking about is how different Nathan’s and my perspectives on children might be now. Twelve years ago, we were doing similar work at the children’s shelter. Nathan worked with the boys and I worked with preschool, but we were both approaching children from fairly similar staff roles. Now things are different. I’ve spent all these years working directly with children in classrooms and child-development settings. My brain has learned to look at development, routines, communication, sensory needs, transitions, independence, learning, behavior, and functional skills. When a child is struggling, I might immediately start wondering: What happened right before this? Is the child overwhelmed? Is the environment too much? Is the task developmentally appropriate? Can the child communicate what they need? Is there a sensory need involved? What skill are we expecting that the child may not have yet? How can I change what I’m doing to help this child succeed? Nathan may look a...

Dear Lord, Thank You for bringing an old, familiar person back into my life in such an unexpected way. You know all the history between us—the good memories, the awkward parts, the things left unfinished, and everything I still wonder about. And Lord… apparently two people who spend all day teaching children to use their words need to take some of their own advice.  Give me courage when I see him. Help me not overthink a simple question until it becomes enormous in my head. If I get a natural opportunity, help me simply say what I want to ask: “How long are you going to be here?” Help me listen to his answer instead of jumping ten steps ahead. Thank You for every smile and every “hey.” They may be small things, but they've meant something to me. And if it's my turn to take one small step and actually use a complete sentence, give me the courage to do it.  But after I take my turn, Lord, help me leave room for him to take his. If a friendship is meant to grow again, let it be m...

When a co-worker and I worked together at the children’s shelter in 2014, we probably thought our job was to teach, protect, encourage, and care for the kids. And it was. But looking back twelve years later, I realize something else was happening at the same time. Those kids were teaching us, too. Every difficult behavior taught us something about patience. Every child who needed someone to stay beside them taught us something about relationships. Every meltdown, argument, funny moment, accomplishment, and ordinary day gave us experience that we couldn’t have gotten from a textbook. At the time, we probably didn’t realize how much those experiences were shaping us. We were still figuring out our own lives and careers. Nathan had dreams and plans for where his life might take him, and I was still building my own career working with children. Neither one of us could have known exactly where we would be twelve years later. Yet here we are in 2026, and children are still part of both of ou...

I think today finally broke through something I’ve been trying to understand. I’m tired. Not just tired from work or school or everything going on around me. I’m tired of caring about people so deeply and then feeling like I have to figure out everything they aren’t saying. I seem to be drawn toward people who are strong for everybody else. The quiet ones. The ones who don’t necessarily tell you when they’re hurting, worried, struggling, or even what they’re feeling at all. And because I care, I start paying attention to everything. I notice changes. I notice when they’re gone. I notice their expressions. I wonder what they’re thinking. I try to put all the little pieces together. And it is exhausting. I think some of this goes back to Mom and her heart issues. I loved her, I worried about her, and there were times when I felt like I had to guess how she was really doing. When you love somebody, not knowing is incredibly hard. Maybe that’s why this thing with this old coworker has hit ...

Tonight I think I finally found a name for some of what I’m learning: intentional love. I’ve always heard, “Listen to your heart.” But I’m realizing that doesn’t mean my heart should automatically control what I do. My heart can tell me that someone matters to me. It can care quickly, deeply, and intensely. But then my mind, my faith, my values, and my boundaries have to help me decide how to carry that care. Maybe that’s intentional love. As a Christian, the greatest example I know of intentional and sacrificial love is Jesus. Christ didn’t simply feel love for us. He chose to love us. He demonstrated that love through the cross. Romans 5:8 says that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. But God also gives us a choice. He invites us to choose Him. He doesn’t force a relationship with Him. Obviously, my human relationships aren’t the same as God’s relationship with us, but there’s something in that principle that I think I need to learn: Deep love and freedom can exist toget...

 Trust-Choosing to believe God is Faithful even when you can't see the outcome.  Let go of fear-Releasing the need to control everything and giving your worries to God. Patience-Allowing God to work in His Timing instead of rushing ahead. Peace-The result of resting in God's presence, even when circumstances haven't changed. Prayer:     " Lord, teach me to trust You completely. Help me release my fears and surrender the things I cannot control into Your hands. Give me patience to wait on Your timing and wisdom to follow Your path instead of rushing ahead. Thank You for the people You place in my life who encourage me, strengthen me, and remind me of the person You are shaping me to become. Help me receive the good influence they bring while keeping my hope and confidence rooted in You. Fill my heart with Your peace. Replace fear with courage, worry with trust, and uncertainty with faith. Help me walk boldly in the calling You have given me, knowing that You are with ...

A Letter to Myself: Remembering Who I Am For a long time, I felt like I lost myself. Eight years of stress, trying to please everyone, carrying too much, and feeling overwhelmed slowly changed the way I saw myself. I became focused on surviving instead of enjoying life. Fear became loud, and I forgot what peace felt like. Then someone came back into my life at a time when I needed a reminder of who I was. His presence brought back feelings I thought I had lost — peace, confidence, joy, and the feeling of being myself again. He reminded me of a calmer version of me, the person underneath all the stress and fear. I was nervous. I didn’t know what would happen. But I made a choice: I said “hey.” It was a small moment, but it was a brave moment. I realized: “I can be nervous and still be brave.” “I can take a step even when I’m afraid.” “I am still capable of connecting.” “I am still me.” That moment showed me something I never expected: I could do something outside of my comfort zone. I c...

  Dear Tiffney, I want to remember what I learned from this season. An old friend unexpectedly reminded me of something I didn't even realize I had lost. I thought I was simply happy to see someone from my past, but over time I realized it was much deeper than that. Being around the friend brought me a sense of peace. I felt happy, confident, and like myself again. For the first time, I realized how much fear had quietly taken over during the previous school year. I hadn't even recognized it until I experienced the contrast. What surprised me most was that this friend didn't have to say anything special. The friend may not even realize how much the impact had on me. Yet this friend's presence reminded me of who I was before fear became so loud. This old friend reminded me of: - My joy. - My peace. - My confidence. - My connection with children. - The teacher I know God created me to be. I realized that what I missed wasn't just teaching—it was the connection with ch...

😮‍💨 PEOPLE SAY SCHOOLS RUN ON FUNDING. THEY DON'T. THEY RUN ON TEACHERS WHO KEEP THE WHOLE THING FROM FALLING APART. That's the line missing from every school budget. When something isn't funded... It doesn't magically disappear. It lands on a teacher. Not enough classroom supplies? A teacher buys them. Not enough staff? A teacher covers another class. Someone calls out? A teacher loses their planning period. A student is in crisis? A teacher figures it out. Technology doesn't work? A teacher finds another way. A program gets cut? A teacher fills the gap. Another responsibility gets added? A teacher squeezes it into a day that was already full. It's amazing what schools can "afford"... When they know teachers will quietly make up the difference. Not because they have to. Because they care too much about the kids to let them go without. That's the part people misunderstand. Teachers aren't keeping the system running because the system is worki...

I have the idea of writing a devo book with the things that I have learned in the 20 years with children. I can put a little story of what I have learned, reflections, prayers, and a Bible verse that goes with that story/lesson. I have taught in so many different settings with children and because of that I have learned so much in my 20 years. I have some titles for it like: 20 years with Children: Lessons from Little Hearts, Little Moments, Lasting Lessons, 20 years of watching children grow, or Through the eyes of a preschool teacher. I also already have some lessons ideas: the power of encouragement, the joy of watching a child finally get it, children taught me to forgive quickly, children taught me to find the joy in the simple things, every child has a unique path, sometimes the best thing we can give a child is our time and presence, and children teach us to slow down. This can be the main idea: every child is a different kind of flower and all together, make this world a beauti...

I was going to write an entry about the peace that I felt this Summer but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it would be fun to describe it in a poem since I haven't wrote a poem in awhile. It is a prefect topic for one and I think it would also be easier because I wouldn't go on and on about it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Summer of Peace   Summer of Peace.  What does that feel like? If you would have asked me  That two Summers ago  I would have been like, "I have no idea" but Now I do. Summer of Peace is It is where you might  Start to worry if you  Are going to have a  Hard and busy Summer. It is where you just Have hope that things Will get better after Things calm down.  But Guess What? Summer of Peace is A Summer where you  Don't have to worry  About a thing.  It is a summer where You can get rid of that  Fear that you have  Held on for what feels  L...

I wrote about the reason we went to Eucador. This entery is about the other side of this adventure. The side when we actually toured the country and learned about it and its people more. The side that we spent a whole day and a half exploring. The Sunday that we were there we went to church in the town that we were staying in and that we were helping out. The pastor of that church was the pastor that was trying to get the gospel told in the mountains and we were helping him get that started. We were one of the 1st few groups of people there, if not the 1st, to help him. We went to the church to see what it was all about. It was a pretty building inside made of all wood and had plastic chairs to seat in. You would have no idea that it was a church from the outside because it looked pretty small. I think it was one of the few churches even in the city because we stayed right by a really big Catholic church on the square and it was a very fancy one inside. Anyways, after church, we went...

My mission trip to Eucador was different but in a good way. It was a new experience for me which is always good and I knew it would be because it was a new country and there was a new goal for the mission trip. One goal that I never thought I would be apart of or want to go do but it was fun and very meaningful. First, it was the airports that we had to go to. Of course, XNA wasn't that bad but we had to be there so early and got back so late. The 2nd airport was the one in Miami, FL. It was nice and big with a lot of things to do but when you have to stay there 8 hours both ways it does kind of get boring and tiring. Second, it was in the mountains which I love and the weather was a lot cooler then Mexico or Guatamala. It was Fall like weather on the other side of the line.The mountains were so pretty. I always say that pictures could not do the justice that we saw on the trip. I will say that alitude sickness is not something to mess with espically if you are going to go up pas...

A Prayer about Spiritual Warfare for Teachers Dear Daddy, I want to say a prayer for my teacher friends. You know that we have a hard time during the school year. We get more sleepy easier, worry more, forget things a lot more, we shorten time for important things because we are busy all the time. Please keep the teachers from Spiritual apathy during the school year. Keep them in Your Hands and don't let them go. Help them stand firm in You. Watch over them and comfort them. Hold them tight. Let them recognize the source when they are down and fill them back up with what is right, true, and noble. Let the Fruits of the Spirit just overflow from them. Please keep the teachers from physical fatigue during the school year. Keep them going with the energy that they need throughout the day. Let them rest on the weekends espically on Sunday which is the day of rest. Help them prioritize restfulness as a spiritual discipline along with prayer,serving, and other thin...

God's Children Around the World "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."-Mark 10:14 Over the years, God has allowed me to walk alongside children in many places-in classrooms, communities, and counties far from home. I have seen children in Mexico, Guatemala, Ecuador, and in my own community, and I have learned that no matter where a child comes from, they all share the same beautiful need: to be loved, accepted, and valued. Children have taught me that faith can be simple. They remind us to find joy in little things, to forgive quickly, to trust deeply, and to love without conditions. A child's smile, a moment of laughter, or a hand reaching out can remind us of God's hesrt for His people. Every child carries a story. Some need encouragement, some need patience, and some simply need someone to believe in them. God places people in children's lives for a reason. Sometimes the smallest...