Hearing God is a Reality Check

           I'm finilly updating about my life for those of you who read this. God has been working in it and lately I have felt like it has just been Him and me plus my kiddos. A lot has happened in the past month. Things I'm proud of and things I want to change. Just these past two weeks God gave me a reality check for my life. I feel lost and confused right now but isn't that where we need to be so we can depend on God to use us. I'm learning that God has a big sense of humor with everything. Not this last week but the week before I locked my keys in my car at work and that was a mess. I had to sit outside by my car and wait for someone to come unlock it and I can't really tell you all the thoughts that I had in my mind or that happened but God has his ways of getting things done. Then that same week that I locked my keys in my car, my science boy came back, which is sad in a way but glad to see him again. You have mixed feelings when you work at a place like I do. Sad and glad both in the same day espically if the children leave earlier then they are suppose to. It's a good thing but you never know so you have to spend everyday as if it was their last day there. That should say a lot about our own lives because God never gives us tommrow.
             If that wasn't enough 3 of my favorite kiddos left in a row this week. One of the little girls said, "I'll miss you" to me. It is hard to hear that but then again I know that I made a difference, hopefully, in her life. Then this Tuesday I met with a women from church about a Bible study that was starting on Weds. called "Loving the Nations Around Us" so I went to that Bible study Weds. morning and it is want I need to learn how to talk to other people from other countries and really get involved in their lives whether we are just friends. That made me think about my FACS major and how I am using and really should use it and it came to me, "why not help the whole family not just the children?" I do know how to do a little of everything (aka cook, sew, clean, how to be healthy, raise and teach children, etc.) so my mind started on that path. That maybe God is using this study to help show me I can do it but children is my connection to the parents. Then all this is going on and I wasn't going and had not cried yet and wasn't going to until Saturday but it all fell apart Friday night. Let's just say that all months and weeks before I knew the singles group from my church was having a worship gathering Friday night and I wanted to go so bad but God had other plans for me to be a work and I got His Point.
               There was a little girl that just needed me to sit and hug her because she was scared to go to sleep for many different reasons. I mean there would be times she would hold on tight to me. She would not lay in bed for quite sometime. I would ask and she wouldn't go. It was one of those hugs I can still feel. In a way it was a reality check for me to see how mean and sinful the world really is to these innocence little children and for no reason at all. My job is hard at times but it is so rewarding. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. Yeah, I have to give up scrifices with friends and time but it's worth it in my heart. I know I'll miss the bonfire with my friends next month because it is on a Friday night too but it is worth it because God has something better for me. I was also feeling left out of the little groups that they have now and are starting back up but you know what none of them fit me really. I'm doing my ministry where I am. It's great to have community around you to support you but you need the same type interests of the people around you to support you in the same thing.
                In different ways, I feel like I don't belong but yet I like it that way because I can focus on what really matters. That is how it is suppose to feel like like we don't belong here on the earth. I never felt that way yet about anywhere that I have ever lived in my life or gone on trips to expect Guatemala but I will be there and stay there in God's Timing and for God's Timing. I love children, to travel, and the nations. That's has always been my heart since I can remember because I grew up around that and the people I looked up to did those things. They did it differently but they did it. I might not have people that agree or see things the way I do yet around me but God is bringing them to me in His time. I wasn't meant to stay in one spot forever unless it is a forgin country I have a feeling but we'll see what God has planned when it is time. That's my life in a big nutshell right now. A lot has been going on so sorry if I haven't been active or talkative lately to the friends I do see. Now you know why.