What is True, Unconditional Love?

      "We Love because He (God) first Loved us".

"Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it."

            I wasn't going to start this entry with a verse from the Bible but I thought it went right along with it. That is what True, Unconditional Love is. It it giving up your life for someone else. It is sticking by them through the hardest times. It is trying to find a way through for them so you both can be happy and stop worrying for each other. It is supporting someone else even if you have to give up your own dream. We usually don't pay attention to unconditional love in everyday life but God has been pointing that out to be lately and it has made every day great and easy for me in ways but then some ways not. We tend to go about our days just doing what is right and no more and sometimes those little things might be love but we don't notice until the person or thing we love is gone. I have a couple of examples in my life right now that I will share and it will be along one. :)
            First one is about one of the children I work with and that is what I mean when you don't know the difference you made until a child is gone. I started with this child by myself because of the way things were at my job and it wasn't easy but I got through it. The child came from a environmentally bad home and was a year or 2 behind his normal age. He could not listen either because he had too many ear infections. This child did not know how to eat or even sit at a table. When he first came in and ate, he sat right on the floor. He would throw his food off the tray. He would scream and cry non-stop. He didn't know how to play with toys so he would just throw them everywhere and at everybody. He also screamed because that is the only way he knew how to communicate. He did not like baths at all when he first came. He also wanted to be held all the time and if you didn't do that he would kick and scream. He wanted held but wouldn't cuddle. He doesn't like transitions at all and still has a hard time with them.
             That all changed in only 3 months. It was a miracle to see it happen and I got to be a part of it. Where I work got him into all therapies (OT, PT, ST) and those seem to help a lot. He got tubes put in his ears while staying where I worked and that opened up a whole new world for him. He became more active after the surgery for his ears. He babbled more instead of screaming. He sits in a high chair now and at the tables sometimes. He eats with his silverware now where before he didn't know how to use them. He will try a little bite of different foods but he still loves any kind of rices and baked beans. He will have 2nd on those. He will sit by himself and try to play and build with toys. He was just starting to play with the other children this month. He loves to swing now and he will go up the climber and down the slide is a staff will go with him and he laughs about it too. He lets me cuddle and rock him for bedtime where before he wouldn't. He would give me butterfly kisses on the nose and laugh about it. I am going to miss his laugh and smile and his beautiful blue eyes. I got to where I could understand his babble and if not I would just say "oh! really!" and that would seem to be okay with him. You had to get really excited and happy with him if you wanted him to do something that he didn't like.
             I'm saying all the good things about this child but there was a lot of true, unconditional love at the start when he came in. God helped me through that is for sure. He gave me the peace and patience for this child. He would kick and hit like no other when he first came in. He would throw toys at staff when he was mad or just in a general direction and sometimes we would get hit. First few baths were hard because he was hitting.
             There was not a smile on that child's face when he first came in to where I worked but I know that there will be a smile on his face when he leaves because of what we did for him. As one of the workers said, "I have no idea how you did it with him but he connected right to you. You were like a angel sent for him. You had/have the gift to help him when no one else would have." I kept thinking, "It was all God, all this time." There is just no way of explaining the whole 3 months. You just had to be there to experience it.
             I will share the 2nd story of unconditional love later this weekend. This story was long.
         

Love, Faith, Glory

         Love is most important that is why it is first. We have to love first. Without love,  nothing else can happen. It reaches to the lowest and highest places. It could reach as high as Heaven. Heaven has no limits just like unfailing love should have no limits.
          Faith is the 2nd important  thing. When you have love then you can have faith. Faith is believing in someone or something enough to encourage on in their pursuit of life. But it can't go as long as love. Faith can only reach the clouds. Faith has a limit because a person can only believe so much.
            Glory is the 3rd important thing. When you have love and faith, then you are able to show glory to God. He has given you that love and faith to show Him to other people. His Glory has no limits either. It may shine all over the Earth so everyone will know Him.
           This entry is based off of Palm 57:10-11. I tried to summarize what it meant to me. It is interesting that those three things are in that order and that there is a limit on each. That is what got me the most. Why would God put those verses in His Word like that? He is the God of order. That is one reason but are there other reasons. Sorry this entry is short but I promise the next one will be really long.

God's Peace Brings Victory Over the People

       "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who had compassion on you. "-Isaiah 54:10

         How great a promise that is to those who believe in God! No matter what happens, God will be right that by us. He will give us His Peace to win His people over. We might fight it a lot because we might not know what His peace is at first or who we need to tell the good news to. Having His peace in our lives is one of the greatest childlike delights that we often overlook.
         This verse was in my yesterday's devo about how we should have childlike delights in God and follow Him. I agree. If we look at everything like a child does then we would have a worry free life. Peace would be around us all the time. Just think of how children play around with each other and say things we think are funny yet so True but they aren't scared to say it. I love being around children because there is a Peace there for me.
        Not just any children for me but abused and neglected ones and ones in poverty. Within there, lies the victory for me and the children are my kind of people. Sometimes even their family could be a victory too depending on the situation. That's my mission right now is to bring hope and love to those children and when I know it I will know I have a victory.
        I see little victories everyday though. A child learning how to talk (aka saying all done) to a 3 year old just learning how to eat and play with toys. It could also be to see how they just start to play with their siblings if they never have it even other children, going down the slide with someone else with a smile on their face, or kicking a ball for the first time. Forgot an important thing to could also be when they are just getting  the routine that you have been doing over and over for 3 months at least. God amazes me everyday! It is when I see those victories that God's Peace hits me again and again because it reminds me why I'm doing what I'm doing. It gets me through the day sometimes. Some days I ask myself how did I get through that and the only answer is God's Peace.
           Again you might have mountains or Hills in your life, whether job or personal. I know I have some personal ones too right now that I need God's Peace and help  over to have a victory in those situations. I just don't want the whole world to know those situations so I don't write about them as often. Sometimes it is an ongoing thing that you have to keep praying about until God gives you an answer.
            EVERY MOUNTAIN OR HILL CAN BE A VICTORY WHEN YOU HAVE GOD'S PEACE WITH YOU! :) Don't ever forget that! :)
           Maybe another title for this entry could be "God's Peace Brings the Appearance of God". Which title is better for this entry?

God is a Foster Father

         Now I know most of you are thinking has she gone crazy because of the title. I won't answer that. You can after you read this entry. It is a different way to look at it but for some of might be the perfect picture.
        God is a Foster parent before He is the Father of our personal life. Now don't get me wrong, the Bible does say He is The Father and there is no way I'm disagreeing with that. If you look at your life through steps with Him this could be a step. The Bible also says that we are adopted into the Family of God as one of God's children. I am along with you His Child.
        Do you know that moment where things are iffy before giving your life over to him? Before you say, "OK, God I'm yours".  Those times you have questions about who He is and who you are in Him. Doesn't a child have those same questions about their foster parents? We have no idea what we are getting ourselves into yet God knows exactly. A child is scared about going to foster parents especially when they have to do it a lot of times. Thank God that we only have to go once because the gifts of grace and unfailing love.
          It's when we give our lives over to God that we are adopted into the Family of God. It is when we can say,  "okay, God, I love you and trust you with my life." It is when we stop trying to run away and go to Him thinking He is a safe refuge and He does love me. Sometimes I wonder why the Church becomes more involved in children's lives especially foster children and families because we are all the same. We just have a bigger God that will never fail us.
         Next time you look into the eyes of a child, especially a Foster or adopted one, think what can I do to help them? I was Iike them once spiritually. What did God do for me in my time of need? I'm sure the foster families would love your help to because it can take a community to raise a child just like it takes a church to raise a believer.
         We are adopted into God's Family because He first Loved us in our sin and messed up lives. God had a choice to love us and He chose to in the painful way. Why can't we love the innocent children when they have no choice about their lives yet? It's hard but the reward is so great!

Crowned with the Appearance of God

       I'm outside lying on the ground in a park with the sun shining through the trees.  I have my own spot of trees and grass around me. I've been writing in my notebook and on here. Sun is trying to poke through the trees.
        As I lay under the trees, I feel like I'm being crowned with the Appearance of God. Just think as the sunlight coming down on me in the shade. I feel like I'm getting some of God's Light so I can show other people Him. It might seem like a light picture but it's not something to take lightly in life.
        When you are crowned with the Appearance of God in life, you have one, big purpose that God gave you and that I'd go make followers for Me. He has called us to be appearance of Him everyday, everywhere, home and work. For me I take it seriously at my job because I the children need God's Love and Face. I know to some of them I must be God, which is sad
          You might even have to have someone else to put that crown on you.  You might need a supporter or support group like Co workers or friends or even family. Someone should encourage you enough by putting that crown on for Christ that you want to do it for other people. It might be along with that person or not. We need to earn that crown. We need to work for it everyday. Get up and start a new.
          You hear the saying, "People where many hats"? Well, whoever has a relationship with God only wears a crown for Him because that is our job. We are Princesses or princes for Him.

         Challenge: Are you wearing your crown for God so people can see His appearance through you today?
        

Words are Spoken

       This entry will be short but full of a miracle. One God moment changed my day yesterday and it was during evening snack time at work.
        There is this little boy at work that is a year developmentally behind so he has a hard time doing things but we are making a difference and you could tell yesterday. He did want snack so instead of throwing it on the floor like he usually does, he got up and threw it away in the trash without being told. Then he handed the bowl to me.
           While he handed me the bowl,  he said, "All Done" clearly as day. That is a big step for this little guy because usually he just jabbers like a 2 year old. This is proof that having a routine for children work especially if they are developmentally behind. It's my first time really seeing it work and why. I've always heard it worked better and easier but this time I saw it with my own eyes. We have had him for almost 3 months now.
          It's little moments like these that humble me and reminds me why I do what I do and love what I do. It's really see  God work both ways.

Creativity is from the Lord

        Once again, I'm writing on phone so this is more for memory. I hate it that I have to write on here through because I have so much to write but I'm just doing the summary of my thoughts. I don't write as often as I should because it takes forever.
         Anyways, I have been thinking a lot about creativity and God because one of my morning devos was about that. If we really think about it we are more creative then anyone thinks. It might be at different things in different ways but we are made in the image of God.
         GOD IS THE CREATOR OF THE WORLD!
         What my devo was talking about through was finding creative ways to be with Him instead of the old routine. Change it up a bit because that is one way you'll get closer to the Creator. It's good to pray about the same things over and over but it could get to the point where it doesn't mean anything anymore. I asked myself, "What does that mean in my prayer life and life in general?" Do I need to pray in more of a poem way or somewhere else like pick a spot and pray,  or pray little prayers throughout the day that's not a bad idea. That could be a start!
          Then I got to thinking about some of my friends and what they are using their passions for and how they are using them to bring Glory to God. Some of them have a very creative way. It could be as simple as taking a photo or painting a picture. It could go to your life's work and make a whole new TV show about your passions. That is using your passion and bringing you close to God especially if the show is an outdoor show. If you want a good show to watch about God and creation, go to: www.thg-tv.com.
           I want to work the creative way with children since that is my passion. Sometimes God might not show us right away. He might give us steps or ideas. With the children, mine could be art projects, games, or ways I tell them to behave because with some children you really do have to be creative. I know, though,  that God has a more creative way for me to take care of more children. I just have to ask Him to show me.

Challenge for Today: Think and pray about how you can be creative for THE CREATOR.

God's Letter for His Princesses

      This is a letter I got in college at one of our retreats and it has been on my fridge ever since. It does help me when I am down. I look at it when I feel like I'm nothing and it lifts me back up and challenges me to keep going. I will make a difference somewhere.  Here it is:

        (Put your name here),
                 You are a woman bearer of My image,  Crown of my Creation, I chose you  before time and space, you wholly and dearly loved! I have sought after and pursued you your entire life and it is my great desire to romance and fulfill your deepest longings and most present needs I made you beautiful because I Am beautiful! Luke Me, your beauty is both powerful and good but with it,  you may choose to bring life or death I made you to bring LIFE! I have enabled you to be both strong and tender your very presence speaks to the world of My mercy, mystery, and majesty you long for a intimate relationship because I long for an intimate relationship with you! As you draw near to me you will experience true freedom and pure intimacy you can risk being vulnerable,  offering your life and desire for love because you are safe and established in ME! My heart is your home,  My arms are your comfort,  I will NEVER leave you alone! As a woman you labor alongside me to bring forth live-in passion,  in kindness,  in creativity,  and quietness,  in times of joy and moments of sorrow-you are precious to me! When your heart aches run to me,  talk to me,  sit with me,  walk with me. Please  don't hesitate to COME! My eyes are ever upon you you have captivated my heart! I purposed you to grace the world with your dance, to inspire the world with your voice, to lead the world with your touch fellow my spirit and I will give you rest I will teach you to hear my voice and know my thoughts you have been freed from every lie that enslaves you because I gave loved you and have given my life to save you! Take my outstretched hand and together we will go into the world that I love and have enable you to love you are my treasure,  you are my delight, you are my darling little girl,  and you are my Bride!

              Always for you, 
                     Jesus

A Boy and His Jeep

        I was blessed to celebrate another little boy's birthday yesterday at work. It was funny because he was asking us for certain presents that he wanted for his birthday. One thing he wanted was a jeep he could drive and he wanted his party to be themed ninjas. It was so amazing because it was his 5th birthday party and he was so excited.
          It was a blessing because this boy was at my place of work about 6 months ago. I got to celebrate one of his important birthdays with him and the place where I worked made a dream come true. Never thought I would have celebrated it with him. Thought he would have a family and hoping that he would. It is sad for him but we made it exciting and it was a good reminder for us, workers, too. So it was a win-win situation. If you really want to see a "dream" birthday come true. This one was it.
          We had cupcakes and the day before he made sure that all his teachers would be there for the party. He got a lot of presents. The two main ones were a ninja dress up outfit and a 4 wheel drive jeep. He got some other Batman toys but those were the two that he really like.
           His jeep was out in a bigger place filled with 2 more presents. He got some time alone with the jeep and his other presents because we had to put the jeep in a bigger place then our wing. It was neat, though, because we ate cupcakes and he opened his ninja dress up clothes before he saw his jeep. The boy got to go out to it with some of the admin. and staff and there was one admin. ready to take pictures of him. His sister got to come over from her area and celebrate with him. She ate cupcakes and got to see his reactions to his biggest present of all.

           When he stepped out to where the jeep was, he was quiet for the first time ever. Ok, well not ever but he was in shock. He just stood there for a moment and didn't say anything. The staff had to push him to get in the jeep because he was that shock. It made me cry or almost cry. It was the total opposite reaction I thought he would have. I thought he would jump up and down and get right in it but he didn't. He just stood there for awhile and it was the stillest ever. He is a boy that cannot sit still. 

            It was neat for me because I got to hand him the present and be the first to go out with him when he saw the jeep. There is no words to explain the way that feeling inside me felt by getting to be apart of a dream come true for a little boy. This is why I love my job. I get to be apart of something big in their lives whether they remember it or not. There is no doubt in my mind though that he will ever forget his 5th birthday. We had the jeep given to us by a big toy company and usually we would just put those big cars in the gym for everyone to play with in there but we knew this boy wanted one really bad. 

             For this boy, it was an answer to prayer and I know for some of the workers that getting the jeep donated was an answer of prayer too. It was just another moment I will not forget and don't want to forget. How awesome would it be if I would get to do that someday for a child somewhere. That is my dream! 

My Heart Clings On

         I'm outside writing at a park on this beautiful May day. It is chilly but the sun is shining and the birds are tweeting but yet my heart is clinging onto something.
         My heart is clinging to dream or a desire that I have and want it to come true. I know it's clinging because I've been looking up Bible verses for it, looking for activities to do,  looking at ways to disapline, looking at places to do it, and I'm in a spot right now sort of where I'm in charge or helping another person to be in charge.
           My heart is clinging to wanting to be a single house mom with just girls in the house. The girls would be preschool age (4) to elementary aged (maybe 10). Iffy on that still because I can handle the preschool things but don't know about the elementary school things. I know of a place in my own backyard that building 5 more houses to use as children's homes in the same area out in the country.
            Just think I can be Kate Davis (book Kisses from Katie) in my own backyard here in AR. I can be a mom to a lot of little girls who don't have one. Not only, that it could help me go towards my biggest dream of making my own children's home wherever God leads. It is strange how God can lead because the founder of this place went to my college for a few months.
            I know there will be some things I have to give up like time with friends and family. I would have to take them everywhere with me church and so on which is fine. I would get one weekend though and one day a week to hang with friends. Another great thing is it is faith based so I can be touching girls' lives both ways.
          I've always wanted to be a part of a children's home or orphanage and here is my chance here in the states even. I have 5 chances to decide. What an amazing way to finish off my 20s! That is what my heart is clinging onto right now.

Actions Speak Louder then Words

       You hear the saying, "actions speak louder then words." With some people, that's more true then with others. They can try and cover up their actions with words and vice via but it's hard. With those kinds of people, they are usually the sky type or have no idea what to do in a given situation. They might only do or say something when no one else is around and they might not notice that they are doing it. They just might feel comfortable that way. A way they try to fit in sometimes or hold a conversation is when they are being funny or smartalike.
         The actions I'm talking about is the kind that people do when no one is around or when a person doesn't want to get too close to you. They whether be behind the scenes then in the spotlight. They would whether wave or give high fives then to talk about things. They have more of a quiet spirit within them. That is great because then you can really tell what boundaries are where. Yet there is just something that brings joy to you.
           Sometimes you don't know how much that person means to you until they are out of your life for a while. It's fun to get to know people like that if you are like that but at the same time it can be hard. You want to let them in but your wall is up.
          You know that if a person's actions speaks Louder then Words they have a servant's heart for sure. I've never seen a person's actions speak Louder then Words until I moved to AR and it is a different experience even though that's all I've done in my life too. It is just neat seeing it in other people's lives I guess. Just neat to see I'm not the only one like that because I feel that way a lot.

        Challenge: "Let your actions speak Louder then your words this week and see the difference it makes."

Daughters Coming Back

         This past week (last Friday to be exact) I never saw the story of the lost son from the Bible come more to life than that day. It was all prefect timing on God's part. It was time for one of my little boys to leave that day and I was heartbroken.  I thought it was going to be hard and it was but it would have been worse if 2 of my little girls didn't come back. The girls came in just as the little boy was getting ready to leave.
          It was a God moment when I first saw the 2 girls again. The oldest girl just ran to me while I was on my knees with my arms open wide. I was happy to see them again. It was a good feeling that she ran to me because that meant she remembered me. It gave me a sense of renewed hope again. I was so focused and busy with those two girls that I didn't even get to say good bye to my little boy. Sad but probably for the better.
          I felt like a mother with her daughters coming home again. It started to challenge me and now I want to challenge you all: How many times do you think we run back to God? He stays in that same place but it is us who goes away from Him.  He never leaves us. How do you run back to Him? Do you pray or read your Bible? Do you go back to church or are you a blessing to others or all of the above just depending on your mood?
          I will tell you one thing.  I couldn't stop smiling that night at all. It was a perfect way to end my long week. :) Again, sorry this is a short entry but it is one that should make you think. The shorter, the better sometimes.

Can't Take the Country Out

        "You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl."
          That's my saying too. I never thought it was until this week when I noticed how much the farm meant to me. I'm pure country. There is a country song that says, " From LA to New York City, she goes around the world." That is so true for me. In the states, I've been from Montana to Washington DC. The outside of the state I've been from Mexico to London, England. It's neat to go to those places and get the experiences but never in my life would I love in those cities. Now Montana out. In the country is another story but still not in a big city like Bozeman,  MT. There is no place I would rather be then in the country. I always will come back to the country. Cities drive me nuts.
           I like the quietness and beauty of the country. I like the slow pace of things.  I like the hard work you do on the farm. I also like the times spent on gravel roads whether by self or with friends. I also like the simple way of life that country life brings. You don't need a big house or lots of things. Just a small cabin and family and of course some land to live on.
          There is no better way to learn about life then in the country. All the life that goes on on a farm.  The work you have to do on it. The exploring and all the thinking you can do if you have a lot of land. I mean I could go into details but I won't because those of you who live on a farm will get it.
          I grew up my first four years on a farm so it is stuck in me. It is really how I was raised plus a small town girl. They do say you learn the most important things in your life in the first 5 years of life.
           I do not like the busyness and loudness of the city. You can't see any nature or be outdoors very often. Cities just overwhelms me a lot with all those people and places. It just seems so small when the country just seems so big.
          I also like how the country women seem to be more laid back and creative or at least all the ones I know are. It could be that they are crafty, cooks, likes to sew, scrapbook, like to take pictures,  and other things.
         Some family call me "their little girl" still at the age of 26. For the older ones, that is how they remember me. I like to think of myself as the little, country girl.               My heart is country and it will stay that way forever!

Mom at the Age of 23

          I'm outside on this windy day on my phone because I still have no computer. If it doesn't make sense I'm sorry but I had to get some of it out. In honor of Mother's day, I'm going to write an entry about moms.  Now most of you might be thinking what do you know about being a mom. I don't know everything but I know some especially when they aren't your own children.
            I have some verses that you can look up.  Sorry I can't write them out for you all. They are: biologically-Gen. 9:7, adoptively psalm 82:3, and spiritually Matthew 28:19. I feel like I have been a mom since the age of 23. How? you might ask. I started my journey as a spiritual mom for children in TX over a spring break in college to last summer in Guatemala. Now I'm doing it adoptively through my job.
           Some might say "still you have no idea". I don't want to start anything this is just another point of view.  A point of view that gets me through my day.  At my job,  I do clean after them, put them to bed, give them their baths, and most importantly I'm there for them when no one else will be everyday.  That's why I hate missing work a lot. I'm there to play and love on them and keep them safe. I remind them of that often.
         Now, don't get me wrong. I would love to have a family of my own to take care of but for now I am content and happy with this. Of  course,  that is the next step in my life.  The next desire of new my heart. I'm blessed where I am and I need to see and spend time in it before I move on. In a way,  God is really preparing me to be not a great mom, but a good mom. God is showing me my mistakes and telling me those are ok and you have to put a lot of trust in Him to with children. I could have children all their lives for 18 years and honestly I would whether have that then only 3 months. Trust is the big thing God is teaching me now as I am letting go of my group of 4 children that I had mainly by myself.
           I can be a single foster parent if that is another thing God is calling me to do because children are my passion. I would whether help children then worrying about marriage. It's a hard call but God will lead me when and where He wants me to be in His Time.

                        Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there whether you have your own  children or not. :)

Living for God

       This will be the last long one that I will write in awhile because my computer crashed. I can write on my phone but those enteries will be short. In Sunday school, we talked about running to God and during church we talked about what contentment really means and what we, as God's people, should do. We read 1 Timothy chapter 6 verses 1-21.
       Contentment could also mean "warning off" looking/pushing away things because we are fine where we are. Contentment does not mean "happiness". We might not like where we are but we can live with it by God helping us through it. He has a plan for everything that we go through. We should go for godliness, faith, love, patience, righteousness, and gentleness. Usually, that is what God is trying to grow and teach us when we are going through something hard or even something easy. We would push away things because it is not love or we can't have patience with it. It could not be gentle or godliness.
         Verse 13 says, "God who gives life to all things". Just think about that for a second. God gives life to all things whether alive or not. He is the One that created everything so He gives life to everything. Humans are His speical work and He loves us no matter what. He won't push us to love Him but yet He gives us the freedom to make the choice because what is true love if we are made to love a person. We have a choice through our actions and words. It is not a feeling.
          Verse 17 reminds people to trust God and that He is good.
          As I was sitting there listening to the sermon and reading the chapter, I was thinking about 3 different people that I am or was helping by showing them or reminding them of God. The peacher also gave us: Matthew 27:11-13 to look at too. I have one person in my life that I can help money wise. I can give more money too and also pray for. I have two people that I can help emotionally. Help them get back on track with God and happy again. Have them look on the positive side of life. Then I have one friend that I hope to help spiritually and lead them to God.
         God is working in my life. I see how He is using me in other people's life at honestly the weakness part of my life yet at the same time it is the strongest part of my life. I don't understand what I should tell them but at the same time I see how blessed I am to have what I do in my life. I wouldn't trade what I have for anything else even if we don't talk much or get along all the time. Every person have their moments.

Children Run to Me

     The children will run to me when they don't know the person very well. That feeling is a good feeling. I know that I got their trust yet they will listen to be at the same time. It has been fun having a group of 4 by myself at work. It was hard work but know I can see that hard work,  warning their trust,  is paying off in some ways.
       They know I love them and want the best for them. I've seen that with this group of children during these past few weeks. I am their comfort. What I say goes most of the time. I'm going to miss that but it's neat to see that I can only build that trust in 3 months or less with all the hard things. It sure wasn't easy at all! :) It is the constant being there for them. Someone they know that won't go away.
          They might not remember what was said but at least I was there for them and it showed through my actions. Maybe the mom thing isn't has scary as it seems might be hard for sure but not scary. I can't think of how much a mom worries too.  I worry a lot about the children and they are not even more. I know that's Love but if I have that much love for other children how much would I have for my own. How much does God have for us, especially in our sinful state. I could and do stay up late going over the day and what I could do differently the next day. Thank God though we have another chance or should. 

          Not only do the children run to me but I run to a lot of other people even them for different things like fun times when I need to get my mind off of things. I noticed and was thinking about how I have 3 brothers in Christ that I could point out and a lot more sisters in Christ that I can run to for help when I need the encouragement or help. It is like a big cycle and that is what I believed God meant it to be. To see Him through other people. To share His Grace and Love with other people. To share His Message with the world. The children see Him through me but I see Him through my friends and family.
          The children run to me like we should run to God in our time of needs or really anytime. We should take our dreams and problems to God and let go of them so He can work on them.

Heart Over Mind

     "I've let my brain run my life when really it should have been my heart running it because I always come back to the heart felt feelings for people and things. God lives in our hearts not our mind."-Saying By Me
     This is something that I have been thinking about but it is not a every time thing because, as humans, we are all broken no matter what we follow or how we follow it. We can only look to and follow God and He can use either one, the heart or the mind. 
     We should be still and take the time to get to know God and trust Him on the path He is taking us on. At the same time, we should be keeping busy for Him so the devil does not get us. Even though, our good deeds might not be know until later in life or after this life, it is good to follow what God wants us to do for Him even if it seems like the little things. Heart over Mind seems like a hard balance and that is where boundaries are good for us as humans. We should ask the questions: Where are you leading me,m Lord?, What do I really need to do?, Who am I really in You?, and other questions like those.
     It is true when we are not keeping our minds busy focusing on God that is when the devil can get the best of us. Our mind really is a battlefield for thoughts and other things. Crazy, how I am learning all of this at the age of 26 because if I look back I have lived me life with my mind instead of my heart. I have been making expectations and assumptions all of my life it seems like of people and the future. That might be why my life is so hard but yet we are sinful humans made out of dust and we aren't perfect. No one is but God and His Love is the only thing prefect in life. It is hard to wrap our minds around but that is what makes it so great. We need to be busy for the Lord so the devil can't get it yet have the time for the Lord. Am what I'm doing now serving the Lord or is it just something to keep me busy? 
     Our brain is such a complex part of our body probably the most complex thing that God made in us. It can do and think so much and do a lot of things at one time. It has so many little pieces and areas that information goes to depending on what kind it is. Maybe that's why God keeps telling us to listen to our heart because that is where He lives and where the Holy Spirit leads us. He gives us our heart's desires. not our brain's desires. It just amazes me how our brain can do all these things without even us knowing it. I've let my brain run my life, when really it should have been my heart running it because it seems like I always come back to the heart of the problem or the heart's true feelings for people and things. When I come back to what my heart is feeling, I'm at peace instead of confusion and trying to make things right with people. 

Something to think about: God made our brains to be complex battlefield but yet our heart is simple. Is it because He tells us to trust Him with all of our heart and soul? Is it because we are not able or suppose to figure out His Love for us but yet we are suppose to do it anyways? Think about it. :)