Captivating the Truth

       If you read my blog at the start of this year, you will see that my word was "Truth" and it still is but I have another word that I want to add along with that word. That word is "Captivating". Now put the two words together "Captivating the Truth". Do you see the truth in that and hear how strong it is? It can go two ways and for me it is. It is going "do I see how captivating the Truth of God is" and "what is the Truth that is so Captivating in me and how to do I live it?"
        I am reading the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldrege and doing the journal along with it and those two things are really making me think about who I am in God as a women. It is taking me back to my little girl childhood to remember all my dreams and fun memories I made. It is reminding me of all those times that I watched the princesses' movies. It is reminding me of that time where I would always play house or teacher with my little brother. It is also reminding me of those fun times I had on the farm. Those weren't just fun times and dreams but they were how I had adventure. They were how I imaged me life to be someday.
        I reading the book for a second time and this time it is through God's eyes and who He is and who I should be in Him. We were all created in the image of God but women and men has different roles but yet they are all who God really is. The first time I read the book it was in college and I was reading it from a girl that wanted a boyfriend type view but that was so wrong. It means so much more when you look at it from God's point of view. When you can say, "Oh! yes I remember that or I remember feeling like that or liking that when I was a little girl", then it is God all over. I always wondered why little girls like princesses, played dress up and with barbies, and why they always wanted to be the mom while playing house. Well, know I see the reason. Yes, I'm a girl and I didn't know the reason for all of that stuff. While working with children, it is just amazing to see it is in the nature of every little girl whether Christian or not.
          I also saw that it was normal for us, women, to feel like we need to care, that we want adventure, and that we need to be romance by some strong man. That is what God wants for us and from us as people. He wants to us to care for Him, go on an adventure with Him, and He wants us to be romanced by Him and vice via. I would love to be a part of an adventure with a human guy but right now in this moment in my life while reading this book, I'm understanding I am with God on an adventure. I am loving the children I work for like no other person could ever do. I'm pouring into them the Light of God like they have never seen before and praying that they won't forget it.
           I am "Captivating the Truth" of who I am from the inside out. I know for me it was high school that kept me hidden and that didn't make me believe in any of my dreams. It was then that I was brought down to a level that could not get back up from. It was then I didn't think I was beautiful  enough or smart enough but now I don't care. It was then that I thought about what other people thought of me but now I'm just like whatever "this is who I am. Take it on leave it?"
          To me, once you feel that way on the inside you would want to show it on the outside. That is where I am right now. Yes, I am still learning and working on the inside but I'm also realizing things. Things like how out of date most of my clothes are because one they are out of date and two they don't fit anymore. They are either too tight or too short. There have been a couple of new tends that I have been trying lately, which is usually not me but I like them. I just have to get use to them.
           It is funny and strange how this little adventurous, farm girl was hiding in high school and didn't realize it til moving to AR. Just to say where I got the adventurous part from was those walks in the woods on the farm when I was a little girl. The trees, the path that lead to somewhere new each time we walked it, the acorns on the grow not knowing what I was going to find or how many. I could image anything I wanted to in those woods of mine and I probably did knowing my brain as a little girl and if I went out to some woods now I probably still would. It is just in us, women, to dream and plan.
           God made us different from the man. We are the loving and nurturing part of God. The man are the warrior and fighting part of God. Two totally different things but yet somehow God is God and He brings one perfect half to the other perfect half without us even knowing for sure. I think for me when I think about it like this, it helps me understand why women and men are so different and it is a good thing. Our sins just get in the way of it. Also, I believe that is why God puts us together to make us a whole and when we are married that our focused, if we are Christians, is to be serving God and for God to be the center of the marriage.
            All of you might be saying, "How is she not married yet if she believes all of this?" The answer is: "God is not done with me yet and He isn't done with the man that He has for me" if He has one for me. I just might be serving Him all my life but caring for children in desperate life situations, which is stressful but I would be okay with that because I know I have Him by my side. He is my Helper and Strength.