Learning That I Love Getting Encouragement

         I just got done with a counseling appointment and I want to talk about what I realized there. I don't like sharing much of what I talk about in counseling but this lesson I think everyone will learn from one way or another. It is about getting and giving encouragement and the facial expressions on your face without even knowing them.
         I don't know where I have been for the past 2 years but I know I have not been quite myself in those two years and I think I know reasons why. I'm not putting anyone down but learning more about myself and what I can handle and what I need as a person. One of the big things I need is: ENCOURAGEMENT. I cannot not live without it at all whether in a job or from friends and family. I think one of my love laugaunges is words of encouragement. Those words make me feel better about myself.
        I knew encouragement was a big thing to me. I loved giving and getting it but I didn't know why until I didn't get any especially during work with children. For 2 years, though, I stopped giving and getting get and those were emotionally the worse 2 years of my life. It is like encouragement gave me the energy to keep going like I know I am doing the right thing and that people like it. I knew it matter in friendships but jobs is another whole story.
        Now that I have worked where I didn't get encouragement and do get encouragement, it is a life changer for me. I know I am a person that might not look friendly to come up to and can be very quite all the time but it doesn't mean I am a bad or mean person. It means that I am a shy person that wants to make everything right for everyone even though I know I can't do that. I have had people take it the wrong way and not even ask how I truly feel or why I look that way and act like they care. I want people to be happy all the time so yeah I will not say something right away because I can't think on my feet but it doesn't mean I don't care. It means I really have to think about what was just said and then come back to you.
         Working at a job where you get encouragement and praise from the parents and staff and admin. is a great feeling. It does make a difference in how people work and do their job. Yes, there can be complaining at times if need be but there needs to be more encouragement then complaining. A job where there is complaining at that is all is not a fun place to work because you feel like you are doing everything wrong all the time even when you are trying your hardest to get it right.
          I will say too that people have a different way of showing their encouragement or wording it so you just have to be careful in how you take it and think about it if you need to more then I did probably in the past. I do like just the straightforwards encouragement though so I don't have to think. People might tell you how to do things in a gentle way and that can be encouragement in them just reminding you, "hey, this is how you need to do it" and then also encouragement afterwards when you do it right.
            Encouragement is a give and take thing and I just realized that a ton after everything I have been through recently. I do encourage people through my actions but I could work on with my words too. My counselor said something to me that really hit me today and she said that is what you need for your relationships too, not just work. That is true! I am a person who needs a lot of encouragement from the people I love. I know some of my friends that could use some encouragement and I try to encourage them where I can but I know I could do a lot better on that and I will try to be stronger and wiser that way.
           People read our facial expressions a lot more then we think so we need to be happy and sound happy more then we probably do. It is hard for me because I thought I got these things all down but really, I guess, my last job showed me that I don't. I don't know how to totally control my expressions or my words when I need to because I always ran away from the sitaution or had someone speak for me. I'm learning to be face on with things that are uncomfortable but that is okay because isn't that where God changing us the most and then use us. I want to face it on with a Godly manner though and not just break out yelling or whatever else there is to do.  
              I am going to leave this entry like this because I really don't have an end statement or advice to give you since I am still working on figuring this all out on my own too.