It is amazing how you can start feeling again after you are off the Drs. prescibed meds. I don't know how kids can live a normal life with all the meds. they can be put on these days. It is just sad that they can't enjoy a "real" life. I just discovered another feeling that I haven't felt in along time and that feeling is hurt. Yeah, it's not a fun feeling but it is a feeling that needs to be gotten through. You can't just leave it alone or try to fix it medical wise. It is just a process you need to go through to be stronger. You can't get ride of the process God has for you. If I have learned anything yet off of my pills, it is that.
If I had learned to handle it on my own, I wouldn't be in such a big mess right now. I know I keep saying this but I swear the pills made and kept me more worried and anxious. They really didn't help at all. I would get so worried or anxious that I would write people without even thinking about it. I would run to certain people when deep down I knew they really didn't care. I was too worried to let them go.
I felt on edge all the time. I could hear what people were saying but I didn't really think about them deeply. That could get you in trouble at times. I would see other people's reactions but I wanted more. It was like I was only thinking about myself. Like I didn't care about anyone else around me. Maybe that is what is wrong with the children these days. Maybe the meds. that they take are altering their minds to think for themselves. I know it is a strange thought but it kind of makes sense too.
I am sort of glad I had the experience but on the other hand I am not because it really has put me behind a lot of years. I feel like I could have been married by now if it wasn't for the pills. I would have worked through a lot of my problems and learned a lot about myself. There are 4 years I have to play "catch up" with.
Maybe it will be good and pay off later in my life like if I have my own kids or something like that? Maybe I will be more patient with them and not be so quick to judge? Maybe it will help me make some important choices in my future life and then my childrens' lives?
Right now, it just seems like a waste of time. At the same time, though, everyone does learn at their own pace. I just think I learned I need to focus on God more and be more healthy. If that was the road I needed to take then it was it. God knows what He is doing.
If I had learned to handle it on my own, I wouldn't be in such a big mess right now. I know I keep saying this but I swear the pills made and kept me more worried and anxious. They really didn't help at all. I would get so worried or anxious that I would write people without even thinking about it. I would run to certain people when deep down I knew they really didn't care. I was too worried to let them go.
I felt on edge all the time. I could hear what people were saying but I didn't really think about them deeply. That could get you in trouble at times. I would see other people's reactions but I wanted more. It was like I was only thinking about myself. Like I didn't care about anyone else around me. Maybe that is what is wrong with the children these days. Maybe the meds. that they take are altering their minds to think for themselves. I know it is a strange thought but it kind of makes sense too.
I am sort of glad I had the experience but on the other hand I am not because it really has put me behind a lot of years. I feel like I could have been married by now if it wasn't for the pills. I would have worked through a lot of my problems and learned a lot about myself. There are 4 years I have to play "catch up" with.
Maybe it will be good and pay off later in my life like if I have my own kids or something like that? Maybe I will be more patient with them and not be so quick to judge? Maybe it will help me make some important choices in my future life and then my childrens' lives?
Right now, it just seems like a waste of time. At the same time, though, everyone does learn at their own pace. I just think I learned I need to focus on God more and be more healthy. If that was the road I needed to take then it was it. God knows what He is doing.
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