Working Two Part Time Jobs

            Starting this coming week, I won't get to write everyday. I will be lucky if I get to write 2 times a week. I have some entries that I plan on writing out this weekend so all I have to do is push publish but it won't be done that day. This past week and for another week or two, I have and will be working two part time jobs. I call them that now but really it is one full time job and the other is a part time job. How does that work you might ask? Here is how. I got hired at a new job under the same people and that job is full time but I am staying at my part time job until they find someone to replace me. It is confusing and very unusual for a job to do that but in the field I am in it is no surprise since it is hard to find people that will work for work and not the pay.
            It all has been a learning process for me though and in a strange why I kind of like it. Although it is confusing and busy at times, it can be very rewarding too because you are helping a lot of children at the same time. I work at my "full time" job in the mornings and then I get a hour lunch to eat lunch and drive over to my regular part time job in the afternoon. I am still trying to figure out what is the best way for me to do that. This past week, at the start of it, I was buying a lot of take out food and/or drinks because I was so stressed but by the end of the week I got to where I was packing my lunch and eating it at a park near my afternoon school. I also got the little things that I needed to get done like phone calls done during that time too so it took some things off my plate when I am at home.
             I am learning a lot about myself and what I can handle through all of this and how much I can take before I break. I noticed at the start of the week I was getting anxious again to where I was shaking every so often and crying randomly and a lot. Those are the two main signs for me that I am really stressed and that my anxiety is going up, up, up. There were a couple of days that I couldn't calm down at all so those were the days I was shaking really bad. It is good to know these things though so you know how to stop them too. My mom helped me to figure out what to do and that thing is just to take time to rest. I am a person who the outdoors will calm down so that is where the eating lunch at the park came into play. I could also walk somewhere that is outdoors because going to my afternoon work.
            It is hard working two jobs because even though you might think one is easy which that is my part time job, I am still learning and having to learn new things for me new jobs. There were times this week where I stayed late at my new job just so I could learn some new things during the children's nap time. I would try and learn one new thing about my new job each day this past week. I can say I heard about it but actually doing it will take some time and I will have to be there full time to get the hang of it. It also gave me some ideas to do over this weekend and things to look up and learn about too if I have time and that if is a big one. People probably think I am crazy for teaching toddlers in the morning and school aged children in the afternoon for about a month now and probably will end up being two months by the time we get things figured out.
             I will say that I agree with that but at the same time I am glad I have this chance because it isn't just me that I am learning about and understanding more. It has also helped me understand some people around me and in my life. I couldn't quite get certain things with certain people because I could not understand why things were taking so much time or why they couldn't just hang out without making plans or so on but now I see why. It isn't at all just putting things together but putting them together where it pleases the people you are trying to reach and that takes time. It takes time to learn and research those things. It takes time to do certain things too whether traveling or sitting out in a tree stand and filming and hunting at the same time. It takes time and a lot of energy.
             More then anything that I have learned, it has to be how much energy it takes to do what you love to do. When you are passionate about something, you do use all of your energy to go and make it happen. If you want it to be big, then you put that energy and passion into it. It just gives me more of an understanding where I needed it and now I get it. I get the behind the videos set up and at the same time feelings too because they always play a big part in making dreams come true. Feelings like excitement, sleepiness, hopefulness, disappointment, anxiety, wanting to give up but yet having someone there to cheer you on and so on. I have felt all those and probably more this past week and I just want some time by myself to write it out like I am now. There might be more about that in another entry soon.
             It does make a difference though when you have a friend you can look to or on and know that they are or have been going through the same things as you. You just know that your aren't alone in it. This whole getting to where you want to be in life is a journey and you can't do it alone. Things won't go like you want them to and some days you will have to take it one day at a time but you know that someone has been through it that way too. When that someone is in a better spot then they were 5+ years before, really should give you the encouragement to keep going and push through. I know where I am now is no mistake. God put me in this mess and transition to understand some things and people so I can relate to them because that is just the heart of our God. Isn't it?
              Plus it could be answers to so many prayers, spoken and unspoken, past and present, I just can't name or think of any of them right now. In a way, I still have it a little better then some people because it isn't two full time jobs and for those people, now, I have the upmost respect for them. I can barely do one and a half time jobs. How they do two full time jobs? I have no idea. They really don't have time for anything else and they do have to sacrifice a lot if they want it perfect. God has got my attention now for sure.
              He will do anything to get our attention if we won't give it to Him freely. When you have the chance, my advice to you is to give your attention freely to God when He asks because if you don't, He will get His Way and it might be harder then you thought.