Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

          You might be looking at the title and thinking that I have gone insane. Well, I haven't because those two things are two things that I know a lot and somewhat about. What this entry is going to be about. they go together perfectly. I have thought a lot about my passion this week because of some things going on and some changes going on in my life. I feel like during one of my quite times God brought the idea of deer hunting to my mind to compare them together and understand what it is like to have your passion put down.            I will write down what I got told this week and that was "You don't have a child so you don't know what a mom feels like when her child is not safe in care." It could have been shorter then that but that is how I remembered it. That broke my hear and I started to cry a little. People need to think before they say and how the other person will feel. I know sometimes people slip up and they don't ...

        I can't believe I am going on my 5th year here in AR. This entry is late because my move in date was the 5th of August. I have no idea what the 5th year holds for me because everything is up in the air right now but I can't wait to find out. I never thought I would make it this long here in AR but God wanted me here for this long so here I am. Five years on the 5th of August. Strange, huh?        This past year has been nothing but really challenging for me. It seems like I say that in every entry I write about my year in AR but I think this one tops them all. I've had some tough descions to be made and I was let down a lot in this past year. Yet everything has made me a bit stronger. I don't even know where to start because a lot has been going on. I know this month is hopefully my last month that I spent living in the apartment that I have been in since I have moved to AR. I am, hopefully, moving into a cheaper one since the rent of thi...

Psalm 127 The Message (MSG) A Pilgrim Song of Solomon 127  1-2  If  God  doesn’t build the house,      the builders only build shacks. If  God  doesn’t guard the city,      the night watchman might as well nap. It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late,      and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don’t you know he enjoys      giving rest to those he loves? 3-5  Don’t you see that children are  God ’s best gift?      the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows      are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents,      with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;      you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.

Psalm 34:4-7 The Message (MSG) 4  God  met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears. 5  Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him. 6  When I was desperate, I called out, and  God  got me out of a tight spot. 7  God ’s angel sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray.

        This entry is a day late because I have had a lot of things going on and I didn't really want to write about it on the day of. I'm trying to be strong for all of this week and yesterday too. I did cry a little at naptime and my prayer time last night. It even makes it worse and strange to think it has been one year without any grandparents in my life and I am only 28 years old but it happens. People can live forever. I just really miss her and all my other grandparents. It was always fun going to see them when we did.          I never felt like I grew up around them and that is what I loved about seeing them. I just need that feeling right now this month because I don't know where my life is going. I know I could talk to her about anything if I would only open my mouth more. She was the strongest woman I knew. Both of my grandmas were. I really do take a lot after them. I love God like my mom's mom did and I take after the homemaking...

        It is strange that I am just writing about one day but this is not the first time. I have wrote about another day before but that day had more meaning to me then this one and it was more memorable. I want to write about yesterday because It is the last Saturday before starting my 5th year in AR and I took it has a relaxing and fun day because of that. I'll talk about my 5th year in AR in another entry later on but there were just some God-moments yesterday that I didn't want to forget about so I decided to write an entry about the day.          I woke up yesterday already had some small plans like going to the farmer's market with a friend in the morning and then spend a boring afternoon by myself until church that night. Then come up and go to bed like I usually do. I think God had other plans though yesterday for me and I could see them very clearly. I had some errands to run like going to the library and do a little bit a shopping...