Being Bold About Our Faith

            It is so funny how God works sometimes. It is either after a Saturday night sermon or before a Saturday night sermon that God always gives me something to relate the sermon to. Last night's sermon was one that made me look back at the past week and at one particular day. I have been fighting a lot with myself about this friendship that I am trying to make right and not get to involved in if those two things can happen at the same time. Yet the sermon last night was all about growing deeper and reaching higher. It was about the vision for the church but yet so many things were going through my mind last night during it. Things like my own life, my friend's ministry, this little girl that I have in my group and so on.
           Things just kept piling up on me. God was working last night and in the past week. I can't stay much on here but when you have a family or friend that is so bold about their faith like one that I know, you don't want to let them go and you shouldn't let them go. They will challenge you to the ends of the earth without knowing what they are doing. I have this little girl and I have talked about her on here before and she just got to me this past week. Her family and her go to a different church then I do and it was the grand opening of their church. It was so cute, if that is the right word, to see what this little girl would do. She had fliers at school about their church's grand opening.
           This little girl had no problem passing them out. It was the sweetest thing I have seen in awhile but it got me thinking too. Got me thinking that is who she is and that is who the family is too. I mean the whole family, not just her intimate family but her extended family too. They are all so passionate about growing and sharing the news about God that it isn't even funny. It is all about how they all live. This little girl was let down a time or two but she would just move right on to the next friend and asked them and they would take it. She was and is so bold for a 2nd grader. That moment I just took in and realized if anything said her last name, it was that moment right there. That moment of sharing and inviting her friends to church.
            It was no surprise to me because I have dealt with some of that family and I even go to church with some of the extended family but it was just the way she reminded me about how we should be when we share our faith with others. It was just how she reminded me that I love being challenged in that way. That is why I love the family that I do. I know that sounds strange but hopefully you get the point I am trying to get across. Sometimes, as adults, we get to caught up in the business of this world that we don't take the time to share our stories or even just simply invite people to church just because. It doesn't have to be for a grand opening or a holiday but just because. We just need to take the time to sit down and share our stories.
            It is funny too because while God was showing me this this past week, I had no idea that the sermon was going to be about growing deeper and reaching higher but it was exactly what this little girl was doing for her church in a way. It is exactly what other part of her family wants to do with their businesses/ministries too. It is all about winning people for Christ and I haven't seen a whole family, and when I say whole I mean extended too, trying to win people over for Christ. I don't know why I am just know seeing this or what God wants me to do with this vision just yet. I mean I have a whole school year with this little girl so anything can happen and I am excited. Yet I just can't believe that God would show me this in my life right now. He does want me to be a part of something bigger and with this family it is big. It never slows down.
          Strangely enough, though, I am ready for it. It might not be overseas like I thought I had planned out long ago. Might not be to foreign people here in the states. Might not be to all kinds of people. Might not be in a church setting or near a church. Might not look anything like a church. No matter where it is or how it is, it will be for the Glory of God. That's for sure! Like my pastor said last night, we have to change with the times and maybe that is what God is teaching me now. Maybe now, it needs to be outside the church and show through something we love to do. Just a thought. God not done with me and He isn't done with my friendships for sure. In fact, in a way, I feel like they are just getting started again in a new way. Out with the old and in with the new.

Going on 2nd Year

          I thought I needed to get this entry done before the week was over. Since I started my 2nd year at my job this week. All I can say is God knew what I needed when I started and still to this day. First year, first school was easy and fun. I did have some challenges with kids that made it hard but I wouldn't trade last year for anything. It was so easy compared to my other jobs.
           Summer was challenging and a lot to learn but I got through it. I was also lucky because I had a co teacher who had done it multiple times before. That made it a lot easier too plus it was a fun theme. The theme was camping. I did more field trips then I have ever done for a job. I had two every week. I was so nervous about getting to go to another school for a new school year. It is a whole process and a lot of waiting but I got placed at a pretty good school. We got to pick the school we wanted to go to in the mornings and afternoons but then the final say was from the admin. office. God knew just want I needed to stay focused on my job this year and go around. 

           I got placed at school that is really close to me so the drive is not far. It is like not even 7 mins. away from me. It is literally down the road from me. Without even knowing it, I got placed at the school where I knew some of the families or let's say extended families. Just to make things better, the little girl was in my group when I picked out. I didn't even know that but God did. He knew this year would be hard and I needed a little girl to cheer me up and that makes me cling onto hope. The hard thing though was and still is that the admin. put me at a 2nd charge without asking me. It has been fun so far for the month and a half that I have been there. I have had my challenges already like getting over the truths of things. 

           I have no idea what God has in mind this year. I have tried to figured it out but it is just hard. Why would God be doing the things He is right now? Why would He put me at the school I asked for? Why would He put certain people in my life when all I have done is messed things up with other people? Could He fix some of the things in my life through this job, this year? I have came to the conclusion that I don't care what God has in store. It is a good way for me just to hope and trust in God. God knows what is best for me. While I am letting Him do that, I am just enjoying the time I have now with the children. Seeing every little detail and action they are doing. When you start the year off, already knowing a lot about some of the children, just because of their parents and families, you can have a blast with them and treat them like they need to be treated.

            It would really help if teachers of any kind, not just classroom teachers, could really get to know the parents of the children they are taking care of. That is one of the things I am learning already this year and I know God has more in store for me. Probably more then I want to know and/or admit. Yet I know that it will be a fun 2nd year at this job and I am looking forwards to everything that is in store, now that I know what to expect and I don't have to worry about every little thing. It is hard when you start a new job for the 1st year because everything is new to you and you are learning the ropes all year. Then the 2nd year comes around and you seem like you are a pro at everything. You know I think another reason God put me at the school that He did this year was because He knew I understood everything and that I could just have fun and be real with the children that were there and the parents. 

           God knows more then we give Him credit for at times. Sometimes in the long run or end, it can turn out to be pretty amazing, even if it was hard getting there at first. I am truly blessed to have the job/career that I have now and to be where I am right now too. I couldn't ask for anything better. 

Feeling Hurt Again

           It is amazing how you can start feeling again after you are off the Drs. prescibed meds. I don't know how kids can live a normal life with all the meds. they can be put on these days. It is just sad that they can't enjoy a "real" life. I just discovered another feeling that I haven't felt in along time and that feeling is hurt. Yeah, it's not a fun feeling but it is a feeling that needs to be gotten through. You can't just leave it alone or try to fix it medical wise. It is just a process you need to go through to be stronger. You can't get ride of the process God has for you. If I have learned anything yet off of my pills, it is that.
           If I had learned to handle it on my own, I wouldn't be in such a big mess right now. I know I keep saying this but I swear the pills made and kept me more worried and anxious. They really didn't help at all. I would get so worried or anxious that I would write people without even thinking about it. I would run to certain people when deep down I knew they really didn't care. I was too worried to let them go.
            I felt on edge all the time. I could hear what people were saying but I didn't really think about them deeply. That could get you in trouble at times. I would see other people's reactions but I wanted more. It was like I was only thinking about myself. Like I didn't care about anyone else around me. Maybe that is what is wrong with the children these days. Maybe the meds. that they take are altering their minds to think for themselves. I know it is a strange thought but it kind of makes sense too.
            I am sort of glad I had the experience but on the other hand I am not because it really has put me behind a lot of years. I feel like I could have been married by now if it wasn't for the pills. I would have worked through a lot of my problems and learned a lot about myself. There are 4 years I have to play "catch up" with.
            Maybe it will be good and pay off later in my life like if I have my own kids or something like that? Maybe I will be more patient with them and not be so quick to judge? Maybe it will help me make some important choices in my future life and then my childrens' lives?
           Right now, it just seems like a waste of time. At the same time, though, everyone does learn at their own pace. I just think I learned I need to focus on God more and be more healthy. If that was the road I needed to take then it was it. God knows what He is doing.
     

Fear

           That one word can take over your life without you even knowing it. It can do so much damage to you but you won't know until it is too late. It might be the perfect word to describe what happened on this day so many years ago but knowing that we can overcome it is even more powerful then before. This is how I have been feeling lately with everything around me. If you name it, I am probably fearful of it to some extent. I didn't really notice I had a problem with fear until here recently. Those of you who know me and my problem with axienty might find that supising but it is true. Fear and axienty are two different things.
             Fear is: "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc.,whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
             Axienty is: "distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune."
             As I think about what is going on in the world today with all the fires and huraccanes, my fear is nothing compared to the people that are living through those things. I even feel a little bit funny writing about what I am fearful of right now but I thought in a way it might be a good thing too. I found out I was really had fear for things last week. How? You might ask. It all started at work with this little girl I have.
             I love the little girl like she is my own but it is her family I am fearful about. Her parents are great too. Don't get me wrong. Who I am worried about is her 2nd cousins. They are great too, don't get me wrong, but we have had our differences before. I am just scared that having her in my group won't be good for me or them. I also know that I have a hard time being me with them because I don't want to show them my upset side. I always feel like I have to put on a smile even when it has been a hard day when her parents come to pick her up. I know that is sort of a lie but things are just strange in a way. I know professionally I shouldn't carry personal things into my job but this is the first time that I really had to worry about it. The first time that I even could do it. If that makes sense. It is a new thing for me that I need to get use to.
            That fear, I have noticed, has been around me in my life all this time. It has been a fear of being myself. A fear of not knowing who I am or what I want to do in life. A fear that is holding me back from everything I could be. A fear that messed things up for me in the long run but I couldn't see that til now. A fear of keeping me from pursuing my dreams. I mean I am almost 30 and have no steady career, no house of my own, or no spouse of my own either. All of those things I wanted by now and don't have. I have had many chances to get all of them but I let each one slip away because of the fear I had. Right now, I noticed that it is just the fear of trying to please the people around me but I shouldn't care what those people think about me. I should be my own person and hope for the best. 

           I have also noticed that I have been having a lot of fear with my health. Fear of trying to things like new pills and diets. Fear of stopping something like anxiety pills to go onto something better like gut health pills. Fear of trying to find and buy food that is good for your gut instead of just eating whatever you want. I know these might be silly little fears but they are true fears for me or at least they were. The more I pushed myself into fears like these the more I see that the fearful thing was the best idea for me.  

           Someone will like me for me. Some job will take me for me and want to keep me. It is not only the fear of being myself but also the fear of being money burdened. I think that money is everything in the world and if I don't have enough of it that I can't reach my goals and dreams. Well, that is the wrong way to think. As along as I have people by my side that love me for me and that can encourage me through everything, the good and bad, then I don't need the money. I mean it would be nice but I don't need it. The fear of getting another job because I am so worried about getting the money to where I can live by myself is not good either. It is just haunting me to no end. It kind of goes back to that people pleasing thing. 

          I'm trying to find a job but I feel worthless because the only jobs I have had in my life had to do with children. I don't have the experience it takes to work in food service or shops. I don't have the customer service it takes and that people want. I know this isn't the first time I have felt this way because I know there is another entry on here somewhere about me talking about this. I just felt like it came to me in a whole new way though this time and that I should write about that way. Fear is taking control of my life and I want it to stop. I want to be able to trust God with everything I have and don't have. Right now, the next fear I have to deal with is the fear of letting go. I know that it will be good for me on some things but it will be hard. 

           Fear of letting go = Fear of the Future but that is where trusting in God comes in. I could go on about all kinds of fears like another one I have been thinking about lately is the fear of marriage but why think about that when I am not even close to that happening. If He wants anything to happen, He will always find a way to bring it about. This is a big relief for me to realize this. Now if only I can get rid of it, my life would be a lot easier or that is what I think at least. Yet all of this cannot compare to what happened on this day years ago or what is happening and has happened to some of the states this past month or two. Like I side, all this looks silly in comparison to all the bigger things happening. 

Seven Bible Based Crafts

           Here are 7 crafts that I want to make because of 3 different sermons and some Bible studies  that I have listened and been to. I want to paint all these words on a wooden background either from Wal-Mart or Hobby Lobby. I also want to do the letter styling in different styles. I have made a sign with painted wooden letters. Now I need to think of a different way to do letters. I just need to shop around Hobby Lobby and see what I can find there. :)


          -Sign One= Listen. See. Love. 


          -Sign Two= Come, Hear, Do


          -Sign Three= John 12:27- Not sure which one I want to write yet.

                      -"27 “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour." -(NIV)


                     -" “Right now I am storm-tossed. And what am I going to say? ‘Father, get me out of this’? No, this is why I came in the first place. I’ll say, ‘Father, put your glory on display. A voice came out of the sky: “I have glorified it, and I’ll glorify it again.”

- John 12:27-28-(MSG)

          -Sign Four= "In Him all things holds together."

        
          -Sign Five= "Do the natural, God will do the supernatural."-Mark Batterson


          -Sign Six= "The less words you have, the more trust you have."-Mark Batterson


          -Sign Seven= "I am a firm believer that things don't just happen by chance but by and for God    in some way."

"Marvelous" Faith

-Luke 6:46

         - 46 “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?"


-Luke 7:1-5 (ESV)

          -7 After he had finished all his sayings in the hearing of the people, he entered Capernaum. 2 Now a centurion had a servant[a] who was sick and at the point of death, who was highly valued by him. 3 When the centurion[b] heard about Jesus, he sent to him elders of the Jews, asking him to come and heal his servant. 4 And when they came to Jesus, they pleaded with him earnestly, saying, “He is worthy to have you do this for him, 5 for he loves our nation, and he is the one who built us our synagogue.” 


-Sees Jesus ' worth and authority
   
          -Verses 6-10 in Luke

                 -"6 And Jesus went with them. When he was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends, saying to him, “Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you come under my roof. 7 Therefore I did not presume to come to you. But say the word, and let my servant be healed. 8 For I too am a man set under authority, with soldiers under me: and I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”9 When Jesus heard these things, he marveled at him, and turning to the crowd that followed him, said, “I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith.”10 And when those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the servant well."


-Obey Jesus' Word
               -Authoritative
               -Verses 6-10 in Luke

  -Luke 6:46-49 (ESV)

             -46 “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? 47 Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like:48 he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. 49 But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.”

-2 lives to Live

        -Come and Hear

        -Come, Hear, and Do


-How we build our lives

          -Come, Hear, Do
     
                     -Deep and Secure faith

          -Come and Hear

                       -Shallow and shaken faith


-What life do you want to be living on this earth?


-1 Thess. 2:13 (ESV)

           -"13 And we also thank God constantly for this, that when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men but as what it really is, the word of God, which is at work in you believers.

-James 1:21-25 (ESV)

          -"21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing."

       

Little Girl of the Year

          I usually fall in love with one or two of the children I have each year. When I say fall in love I mean I have a child that I love to watch and pick on in a nice way. I know I'm not suppose to have favorites but personally every teacher does. That is just human nature. We tend to lean towards the ones that we get along with the most or that needs the most help. I am writing about this child because I on want to forget her. I don't usually do this because it has never happened to me until this year. I picked a little girl of the year as I like to call it. I picked her because I know some of her extended family. The way she acts doesn't surprise me at all. I guessed all her actions and personalities right just knowing part of her family.

           I noticed her last name was the same as some people I knew so I asked her dad and I guessed right. After I asked her dad, everything started to make sense and fall in place with her. She is stubborn yet so outgoing she can't sit still. She likes art and is very creative. Her crafts come out almost perfect. She dresses very sport and outdoorsy. She was the first one to ask me if we could stay out longer one day. She has a sense of humor and I can be smartalike towards her and tease her and she knows I am just playing with her. She is also very kind to our special friend so kind that she will sit with just her at times. 

           She also likes to play "teacher" while we are outside playing. She is my smartest one and I can tell when I compare her to the others. She looks and acts like a 3rd grader around my other second graders. She can also just walk away from a fight or disagreement. She is my reason I go to work every day and my hope for the others. She is where I want the others to be by the end of the year. She also knows right from wrong. She is proof that if you start teaching your child at home they will do a lot better in school. 

           She is also teaching me patience and peace in a lot of ways that I can't put on here. She is just helping me understand a whole new prepective of life and future. Showing me what I want or will get vs. What I don't want. She is my reason this year. It also goes to show me that God does things for a reason. I am not quite sure yet why God put me at the school He did for this year or how long I am going to stay there but I know it is for a reason. That reason isn't just for the children, it is a big part of it because they need some help but God thought He would be funny and add some more lessons in there for me with this little girl. It is like God saying, "You want a taste of what you think might be your future. Here you go." Then here I am just taking it one day at a time, not knowing what is going to happen or who is going to show up.
         Just knowing that I picked that school because it was closer to where I lived. It is literally like 7 mins. away from where I live. I don't have to leave the house so early and because of that choice, I get a little girl that I know part of her extended family. God is like, "Well, you put it down because of the distance or that is what you think at least. Really, I made you put it down because of this little girl." This is all I can say about this situation. God has His Ways and we have our ways. It just goes to show that God does know best but yet we have to wait on Him.
         It is more of a reminder for me later down the road. That is why it isn't too long plus I can't share every detail about certain children on the web. If you are a teacher, you can't blame me for having a favorite or favorites because deep down you know you have one or some too. :) This case just happens to be a special case and God is using it to teach me more about myself and life, not just my career.