Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

            I want to focus on being joyful this year. After last year, I think I deserve that much. I had to be really flexible and it was stressful for me but now everything or almost everything is turning back to normal or as normal as it can be so I can be joyful. It is also the year of my wedding so I can be joyful for that too. Life is just easier if you aim to be joyful everyday and look for the positive things in your day. I picked that word because that is what I really need to do after the past two years. I need to get back at looking for things that make me joyful. 

Dear Daddy,          Mom told me how still when you were in the hospital, you were still showing compassion. You took a couple of donuts one morning and then told mom to give them to the rest of the hospital staff. You wanted mom to get an old coat from home to give to an international nurse because she didn't have one. You really showed a lot of compassion to children during your superintendent years. You also showed compassion to my fiancé and welcomed him into the family. You also showed compassion to me while I tried to do Math sometimes. All I have to say is "Thank you and I want to be just like you in this area and many others."                                     Love Your Little Girl,                                                 Tiffney

November: Compassion Mood Tracker: -Happy: 12 days -Average: 8 days -Lonely: 2 days -Positive: 4 days -Sad: 7 days  -Excited: 5 days Habit Tracker: -Drink Water: 16 days -Say prayers: 10 fays -Eating from HG: 4 days -Write in blog: 6 days Think of a challenge you're facing right now. What would you say to a loved one who was experiencing the same challenges you are ? Answer: It is hard. Really hard. You will start crying for no reason at little things. That's okay. Let those feelings out but don't forget the fun memories that make you smile too. Laugh at them a lot.  Who are the people in your life who shows you the most empathy and kindness? How do they express it? Answer: Mom and Dad. They express it by showing us patience when we don't deserve it. They take care of other kids and people. They show it also by helping us when we need it without expecting anything but that's because we know better and pay them back. Compassion Affirmations: -I am......Loved. -I am.....

-This Christmas: "You can't mess up the blessing, but you can miss it!" Don't miss it! No matter what has gone on in your life this year, the Christmas message can't be missed or the feeling of it! It might be hard for some but we can get through it. Remember the reason for the season! Take a break from all the sadness and rejoice!

           I know this is a little late but I just thought of it. I am going to write a letter of gratitude for Thanksgiving but I wrote it way before then. I wrote it last month on the morning my dad passed away. I was sitting on the back porch all by myself looking at the sunrise. Everyone has left for the hospital but I was going later. Here it is what I wished I could have said to my dad and should have:  Dear Daddy,            Don't know what to say but thanks. Thanks for believing in your littlest girl. I know there were times you had to be patience with me. From math to cars. You knew I wouldn't make it in life without those two things. You were there guiding me through every job loss. You were the strength when I didn't have any because I knew I had to make you happy somehow. I knew you were always there for me and you were til the very end. Thank you for everything and all of the memories. Love, Tiffney 

My mom picked this song to play on the video of family pictures at my dad's celebration of life and I couldn't agree more. His life was exactly like this. He had so many scars from all of his cancers, heart problems, and muscle problems but now he is free of them and the pain that they caused. He has a whole new body. It is true that the only scars in Heaven is holding him now. He fought a good fight and ran a good race. He even said that he was finished and I can't blame him. He fought it good and long and over and over again. It is sad for all of us but we know he is in a better place and he had strength to get through everything he needed too. He had that strength because he prayed for it. One saying I will never forget is one that he said at the end of our meal prayers. It was: "May You give us the strength to do Your Will". And I think he felt like he had done it. Even though, he was planning and thinking about other things and living life like he ...

"Lord, give us the strength to do Your Will." That's my dad's ending to every prayer of his. Maybe that is why the Wilson family is so stubborn intimate and extended? I mean you can call it stubbornness or you can call it strength. It all depends on how you know us. That is a saying I'll never forget. I actually need to make a sign and put it on my wall.               Anyways, I have been trying to have strength lately with everything going on from job to wedding to other things. I wont lie, it is hard. Really hard. It has been harder since COVID hit. I am always worrying about something or thinking about the what ifs and I us to do that because of my anxiety but now it has just gotten worse. I've tried not to cry but those are the moments where you have had just too much.             I mean add the words flexible and patience to the word strength and it is like you are carrying the whole world on your shoulders....