I've been thinking about time a lot this past week and it just hit me yesterday in a whole new way. Time really does matter epsically when you are talking about sharing the Lord with someone. I'm apart of a lot of different groups/friends that have different things going on in their lives and I got to thinking about time. Lately, I have just been taking the time just to sit and relax whether it is for reading, writing, or even just talking to friends. We need to make time for that in today's world. Sad but true. We need to sit out that one or two volleyball games and just go sit the whole time and let people know you are there to talk and catch up or just to sit with them if need be. I've enjoyed that a lot lately.
I really got to thinking though how much can a half a hour make to having 3 months and just 3 months with some people and it depends on the people. Half a hour for adults and 3 months for children. The time difference is much needed. There are even 6 months for international people here where I live because that is how long their project can only last here. Then there is the year limit for teachers. Have we really took in to consideration of what "having time" really means?
A half a hour TV show can make a difference in people's life if you use it the right way. There might be hidden messages behind what they are doing or might not be but there are hidden messages all the time. It's just the question are they good ones or bad ones. For the people who put their time into that TV show are they using their time wisely? Are they meeting new people and spending time with them outside the TV show or just doing it to become famous? Just depends on how you look at it. A huntin' show can just be a huntin' show and can teach you about the land and how to hunt or it can teach you how to spend time with the people you love and in the places you love even if you don't get a deer that day or what not. Then we know a lot of old children's shows like Thomas the Train and others have lessons of character behind them too. If we look at today's tv shows do they really have lessons. I'm not dashing TV. I'm just saying how do we spend our time.
Then there is a limit of only having 3 months with children. How are we going to spend those 3 months? Are we going to spend it just letting the children run around wild and not teaching them anything? Are we going to teach them how to behave and that they are loved no matter what they are like or how they behave? In my case and what I have been doing are we going to teach them about God's Love for them and see if that changing them in those 3 months instead of a certain program?
Then there is the 6 months to 2 years limit for international here in the United States if they are here for just a project. Are we going to try and reach them for the Lord? Are we going to befriend them and show them God's Love and pray that they will grasp it before they leave so they can pass it on to people in their country? I'm part of a Nations Around Us groups at my church and that is what we are trying to do. We are going to different apartments in the area and just trying to build friendships with international people because other Americans are scared or don't think they want anything to do with us when really they do they are just as scared as we are though too.
Then there is the year limit for teachers in the public schools. How much can you make a difference in a child's life in a year? I know you can make more then you can in 3 months but still for some of those children not enough espically when state and government has to step in on everything. Those children need to be taught everything now these days because they are not being taught anything at home but the government only cares about the core subjects and the tests at the end of the year that character of the children come later if ever. Sometimes even the safety of the children comes later. It sad to see that what I use to learn in 1st grade they are now starting to learn that in Kinder where that grade is suppose to be fun and get you use to the school setting.
We hate to think it but we are all under a time limit because that is how life is ran. Day and night. Night and day. There is a time a purpose for everything under Heaven. There is a time to make everything beautiful and God will use that time. There might be a Part 2 of this this weekend if I have time because the famous verses from the Bible just came to mind but that would make this a long entery so I'll do another if I have time this weekend. How are you spending you time? Are you spending it for the Lord or for yourself?
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
God Wants or You Want?
There is a question that has been weighing on my mind for the past couple of weeks now about just life and how I am doing. That question is: Am I doing what God wants me to do or what I want to do? A friend said, "You have to pray and figure out if it is something you want or God wants. That is the hardest part of this whole thing is putting your thoughts and feelings aside and only hearing God." My friend said this while I was in college because of a decision I felt like I needed to make and I asked that friend. It was a small decision now that I look back and read what I wrote and what my friend wrote back.
When I got this answer I was in college thinking about not be a part of a leadership of a club anymore and now I look back and think how little that decision was compare to my life ahead of me. Never thought I would look back on it, 3 years down the road, and it would explain my life perfectly but it does right now. That is how I feel in the mist of everything. I do have a hard time putting my feelings aside. We are do because we are humans and the world is full of sin. Thinking about and for ourself is sin. It's pride. It's saying I'm fine where I am at and don't need to change and sometimes don't need God but that is not true.
My friend goes on to say, "God is always changing and growing us, and it is good not to be comfortable, because if you are comfortable then you are not open to the change God could be making in you." I never want to be comfortable in this life because I want to go down the path God wants me to go down. I want to help children in situtions that are bad. I want to make a difference in their lives but I can only do that if I let God keep growing and changing me into who He made me to be. I know I am right now where I am at but I want to do so much more because it needs to be done. God is growing and changing me where I am. He is giving me the inside scoop so to say about what it could be like because before I had no idea but I feel like I still have a lot of growing and changing to do. You never stop learning in this field no matter where you are at in it. Every child is different but I love that about it.
I say and write this because right now in my life, I have no idea what the next step is for me. I have ideas and they are scary but I want to do them so bad. So bad that right now my heart is tugging on the ideas and say start them now but I have no idea how to even start or where. I know this is something that God wants because I can't do it alone and that is usually a good sign that it is something God wants because He is needed in it. He wants it done and He wants to be apart of it too. Like I said at the beginning of this entery when I first asked the question it was something so small and I remember I know it means something but what. Well, God has been shown me lately that it wasn't really only meant for that thing but also for what I'm going through now and to depend on Him for everything now.
My feelings right now are it is going to be scary and doubting God. Those are the main two along with some others for sure. I see what and how they are getting in the way. I'm not doing anything. I'm not expanding my knowlegde on the topic because I'm scared about what I will find out. I need to do that before I go on. I need to know where to really touch it. I'm asking and doubting God can I do this when I'm single? Can I do it at all? What about my job now? How will I get the things that I need for it? Who will help me? I'm asking and doubting His answers to all these questions when I know I shouldn't be deep down because if it is what He wants then He will take care and provide for everything.
I usually don't like sharing personal things like this because I don't know how the friend would feel if they came across it or anyone for that matter but it is something that I've been using and thinking about a lot so I just thought about putting it out there. People can also take this and learn from it too.
When I got this answer I was in college thinking about not be a part of a leadership of a club anymore and now I look back and think how little that decision was compare to my life ahead of me. Never thought I would look back on it, 3 years down the road, and it would explain my life perfectly but it does right now. That is how I feel in the mist of everything. I do have a hard time putting my feelings aside. We are do because we are humans and the world is full of sin. Thinking about and for ourself is sin. It's pride. It's saying I'm fine where I am at and don't need to change and sometimes don't need God but that is not true.
My friend goes on to say, "God is always changing and growing us, and it is good not to be comfortable, because if you are comfortable then you are not open to the change God could be making in you." I never want to be comfortable in this life because I want to go down the path God wants me to go down. I want to help children in situtions that are bad. I want to make a difference in their lives but I can only do that if I let God keep growing and changing me into who He made me to be. I know I am right now where I am at but I want to do so much more because it needs to be done. God is growing and changing me where I am. He is giving me the inside scoop so to say about what it could be like because before I had no idea but I feel like I still have a lot of growing and changing to do. You never stop learning in this field no matter where you are at in it. Every child is different but I love that about it.
I say and write this because right now in my life, I have no idea what the next step is for me. I have ideas and they are scary but I want to do them so bad. So bad that right now my heart is tugging on the ideas and say start them now but I have no idea how to even start or where. I know this is something that God wants because I can't do it alone and that is usually a good sign that it is something God wants because He is needed in it. He wants it done and He wants to be apart of it too. Like I said at the beginning of this entery when I first asked the question it was something so small and I remember I know it means something but what. Well, God has been shown me lately that it wasn't really only meant for that thing but also for what I'm going through now and to depend on Him for everything now.
My feelings right now are it is going to be scary and doubting God. Those are the main two along with some others for sure. I see what and how they are getting in the way. I'm not doing anything. I'm not expanding my knowlegde on the topic because I'm scared about what I will find out. I need to do that before I go on. I need to know where to really touch it. I'm asking and doubting God can I do this when I'm single? Can I do it at all? What about my job now? How will I get the things that I need for it? Who will help me? I'm asking and doubting His answers to all these questions when I know I shouldn't be deep down because if it is what He wants then He will take care and provide for everything.
I usually don't like sharing personal things like this because I don't know how the friend would feel if they came across it or anyone for that matter but it is something that I've been using and thinking about a lot so I just thought about putting it out there. People can also take this and learn from it too.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Loving Traditions
I thought since it is the beginning of the Holiday season and many of us are starting in on those family traditions, I would talk about some of mine. Not just the holiday ones, I'm not going to talk about them at all but the every day ones. The ones you had when you were a little child and stopped doing now that you are an adult because you think there is no way you can carry on those traditions or still do them yourselves.
I have a friend that is so big on traditions espically the ones their family passes down but my friend is so close to the family so it is understandable. I see through my friend that traditions aren't just the fun holiday ones that we have with family which that might be a big part they are also the little things we do with them to have fun. As I look back on my life as a child, I did things everyday that I wouldn't mind passing down to my children someday. I'm being transparent here kind of if you can't tell already. They don't even have to be my own children, they could for now just be the children I work with to show them that someone loves them. Little traditions like saying a prayer and reading the Bible every night to them or even just finding that time to spend with them.
One little traditions I had when I was little and during the summers was I would go back to my old babysitters and spend a week with them after we have moved from that town but when we lived in that town they were my babysitters. I remember walking in their woods with them picking up acorns along the way. I would always collect the chicken's eggs. I would most of the time do my school shopping with them or at least some of it. My babysitter would show me the right way to set the table for guests and how to sew. Yes, I'm a country girl at heart if you don't know that by now. Like that country song says, "It's who I am." I want to pass that walking in the woods on to my children. I also feel like I got the "little" tradition of collecting teddy bears from my babysitter. Yes, I'm blaming her. :)
Every summer with family we would go on a trip to Montana and go fishing and camping that was a tradition even though I didn't like it back then I regret not liking getting up so early on morning to go fish but I miss it a lot. We would even have a speical place in MO we would go fishing every so often mostly in the Spring. We were outdoors a lot. I really hope to pass that on to my children someday. It makes me feel good and calmer when I'm in God's Creation. A funny one I always complained about was going into Bass Pro Shops with my dad everytime we were around one but now I find myself going into a Cabels' just to calm down sometimes. Just a few walks around the store and I'm fine. Then family might makes newer ones when you become older like shopping for your birthday instead of actually getting presents because they have no idea what you would like now.
Every summer when I was little I would go to church camp and I loved it. I'm thinking about working there for the 1st time since I've been a grown up and just having or starting that kind of tradition for myself is neat to see. God might give me the chance to make a different in another child's life where I'm learned the most about Him too. Just seeing the different of going as a child and teaching the children there now will be an amazing difference if I get to do it, which I hope I will. It's been something I've thought about a lot since moving to AR because I'm closer to the camp now.
Then there are those holiday ones we miss like getting together on Thanksgiving and the guys would go hunt deer while the ladies would stay home and cook and having homemade noodles. Getting together on Christmas Eve at Grandma's house and opening presents. Sleeping under the Christmas tree with your siblings on Dec. 23rd with the Christmas tree lights on. This is not a holiday one but I remember getting Little Debbies cookies every time we would go to our grandma's house.
Life does change a lot when growing up but if there is one thing I've learned is that I don't want to let go of my family traditions. I mean I know I can't have it right on the dot but I can get it as close as I can for my children someday and I want too. I want you to try and think of a tradition you could pass down to your children and do it. It is espically those little traditions that means the most. Time spent with family that means the most.
I have a friend that is so big on traditions espically the ones their family passes down but my friend is so close to the family so it is understandable. I see through my friend that traditions aren't just the fun holiday ones that we have with family which that might be a big part they are also the little things we do with them to have fun. As I look back on my life as a child, I did things everyday that I wouldn't mind passing down to my children someday. I'm being transparent here kind of if you can't tell already. They don't even have to be my own children, they could for now just be the children I work with to show them that someone loves them. Little traditions like saying a prayer and reading the Bible every night to them or even just finding that time to spend with them.
One little traditions I had when I was little and during the summers was I would go back to my old babysitters and spend a week with them after we have moved from that town but when we lived in that town they were my babysitters. I remember walking in their woods with them picking up acorns along the way. I would always collect the chicken's eggs. I would most of the time do my school shopping with them or at least some of it. My babysitter would show me the right way to set the table for guests and how to sew. Yes, I'm a country girl at heart if you don't know that by now. Like that country song says, "It's who I am." I want to pass that walking in the woods on to my children. I also feel like I got the "little" tradition of collecting teddy bears from my babysitter. Yes, I'm blaming her. :)
Every summer with family we would go on a trip to Montana and go fishing and camping that was a tradition even though I didn't like it back then I regret not liking getting up so early on morning to go fish but I miss it a lot. We would even have a speical place in MO we would go fishing every so often mostly in the Spring. We were outdoors a lot. I really hope to pass that on to my children someday. It makes me feel good and calmer when I'm in God's Creation. A funny one I always complained about was going into Bass Pro Shops with my dad everytime we were around one but now I find myself going into a Cabels' just to calm down sometimes. Just a few walks around the store and I'm fine. Then family might makes newer ones when you become older like shopping for your birthday instead of actually getting presents because they have no idea what you would like now.
Every summer when I was little I would go to church camp and I loved it. I'm thinking about working there for the 1st time since I've been a grown up and just having or starting that kind of tradition for myself is neat to see. God might give me the chance to make a different in another child's life where I'm learned the most about Him too. Just seeing the different of going as a child and teaching the children there now will be an amazing difference if I get to do it, which I hope I will. It's been something I've thought about a lot since moving to AR because I'm closer to the camp now.
Then there are those holiday ones we miss like getting together on Thanksgiving and the guys would go hunt deer while the ladies would stay home and cook and having homemade noodles. Getting together on Christmas Eve at Grandma's house and opening presents. Sleeping under the Christmas tree with your siblings on Dec. 23rd with the Christmas tree lights on. This is not a holiday one but I remember getting Little Debbies cookies every time we would go to our grandma's house.
Life does change a lot when growing up but if there is one thing I've learned is that I don't want to let go of my family traditions. I mean I know I can't have it right on the dot but I can get it as close as I can for my children someday and I want too. I want you to try and think of a tradition you could pass down to your children and do it. It is espically those little traditions that means the most. Time spent with family that means the most.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Little Girls Can Be Stubborn Too
Sorry that I'm just now posting another entery it has been about a week again since I last wrote. A lot has been going on this past week in every way. I've had a lot on my mind that I've wanted to write but yet I have to go here and there and everywhere this week for different things. It has been busy at work too being short staffed for a few days and then having some children leave some knowing and some not knowing.
My "sweet" little girl did leave yesterday and I was strong during the good byes but that strength came from God for sure because she said, "I will miss you" and started to cry. I said, "me too. Now, let's go" because I knew if I kept letting her hug me it would have been bad for everyone espically the two of us. I was about to cry I'll be honest. The past week though oddly enough before she left I got to see that she is a lot like me like my twin but at a young age. I'm stubborn for those of who you know me or can be in certain times and moments and she can be too. She will not talk about what was bothering her to me but to other people she would. She wanted things her way a lot this week and I wanted this my way like she would want to go somewhere and I wanted her to stay where she was.
There are a few things that I found out about her that is a lot like me with her emations like how she handles them. She handles them the same way I handle mine even to this day I will admit. If I'm alone, I will cry my eyes out but if I'm around friends I will not. I make myself be strong and wait until I get by myself. When I get upset, I also clean my apartment or cook. She helped me fold clothes and stack the chairs one night after she got done throwing a fit to calm down. I called her, "Little Miss Tiffney" because we are that much alike but yet I have a perfect life compare to her. I have no right to throw my fits or cry or get mad but she does. I could tell one night this week that she was trying to keep from crying and I told her "It's okay to cry if you are sad or upset. I still do when friends treat me meanly or when I miss someone that I love." She replied back, "You do?" and I said "yeah".
One night we talked about the Bible after we got done reading it. I told her to keep the Bible I gave her with her always and ask someone to read it to her. She said, "I will keep it in my dresser drawer because that is where it belongs." That same night we read like 4 stories from the Bible. They were "Jesus Blesses the Children", "Jonah and the Big Fish", "The Firey Furnace", and "A New Home". She was very interested in a picture of a river that had to red and it was in the middle of the story about how God turned the water to blood because the king wouldn't let his people go but she didn't want to read the whole story. She asked me, "How did He do that?" and I repiled, "I don't know sometimes God just do things that none of us can understand." She said, "He had a magic ward."
It was funny because we read "Jonah" after "The Firey Furnace" and she commented, "He is going to send those people in the fire." I was thinking, "Only if you really knew, girly." Then we had a talk about the Firey Furnace and how God sent an angel so the 3 guys wouldn't get burned. We compared the pictures because there were only 3 guys on one page and then 4 on the other page. I asked her, "Why do you think there are 4 on this page?" She said, "One is an angel." She gave me a sticker of the cross and baby Jesus from who knows where two days in a row.
One thing this big stubborn girl has learned is to pay attention to how children really do react to situations. See what helps them calm down and then do it whether people like it or not. I still need to learn how to talk to them and how to get things that are bothering them out in words too not just actions around me. I don't know why God gave me clarity in this little girl to see she can be stubborn and will do things so she doesn't have to talk about it. She has to keep busy just like me right at the end of when she was leaving. I hope and pray that I have planted some seed in her and that God will grow it because it is all in His Hands now. I can't do anymore things but prayer for her and you know I will. I could see her be a speaker on what she has been through to help others or a missionary type just like me.
On to my next child or children that I need to win for God! :)
My "sweet" little girl did leave yesterday and I was strong during the good byes but that strength came from God for sure because she said, "I will miss you" and started to cry. I said, "me too. Now, let's go" because I knew if I kept letting her hug me it would have been bad for everyone espically the two of us. I was about to cry I'll be honest. The past week though oddly enough before she left I got to see that she is a lot like me like my twin but at a young age. I'm stubborn for those of who you know me or can be in certain times and moments and she can be too. She will not talk about what was bothering her to me but to other people she would. She wanted things her way a lot this week and I wanted this my way like she would want to go somewhere and I wanted her to stay where she was.
There are a few things that I found out about her that is a lot like me with her emations like how she handles them. She handles them the same way I handle mine even to this day I will admit. If I'm alone, I will cry my eyes out but if I'm around friends I will not. I make myself be strong and wait until I get by myself. When I get upset, I also clean my apartment or cook. She helped me fold clothes and stack the chairs one night after she got done throwing a fit to calm down. I called her, "Little Miss Tiffney" because we are that much alike but yet I have a perfect life compare to her. I have no right to throw my fits or cry or get mad but she does. I could tell one night this week that she was trying to keep from crying and I told her "It's okay to cry if you are sad or upset. I still do when friends treat me meanly or when I miss someone that I love." She replied back, "You do?" and I said "yeah".
One night we talked about the Bible after we got done reading it. I told her to keep the Bible I gave her with her always and ask someone to read it to her. She said, "I will keep it in my dresser drawer because that is where it belongs." That same night we read like 4 stories from the Bible. They were "Jesus Blesses the Children", "Jonah and the Big Fish", "The Firey Furnace", and "A New Home". She was very interested in a picture of a river that had to red and it was in the middle of the story about how God turned the water to blood because the king wouldn't let his people go but she didn't want to read the whole story. She asked me, "How did He do that?" and I repiled, "I don't know sometimes God just do things that none of us can understand." She said, "He had a magic ward."
It was funny because we read "Jonah" after "The Firey Furnace" and she commented, "He is going to send those people in the fire." I was thinking, "Only if you really knew, girly." Then we had a talk about the Firey Furnace and how God sent an angel so the 3 guys wouldn't get burned. We compared the pictures because there were only 3 guys on one page and then 4 on the other page. I asked her, "Why do you think there are 4 on this page?" She said, "One is an angel." She gave me a sticker of the cross and baby Jesus from who knows where two days in a row.
One thing this big stubborn girl has learned is to pay attention to how children really do react to situations. See what helps them calm down and then do it whether people like it or not. I still need to learn how to talk to them and how to get things that are bothering them out in words too not just actions around me. I don't know why God gave me clarity in this little girl to see she can be stubborn and will do things so she doesn't have to talk about it. She has to keep busy just like me right at the end of when she was leaving. I hope and pray that I have planted some seed in her and that God will grow it because it is all in His Hands now. I can't do anymore things but prayer for her and you know I will. I could see her be a speaker on what she has been through to help others or a missionary type just like me.
On to my next child or children that I need to win for God! :)
Monday, November 4, 2013
What does the Garden of Gethsemane Tell Me?
I've been studying a lot about when Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46) and it is an eye opener compared to everything I have been thinking. God is taking my life and turning it for Him. I will admit I have tried to live for the world but that isn't working out so well. I've tried to get people on my side, to do my dream, to understand what I've seen but it hasn't been working out.
God is saying, "Stop! and let me do the work! Can't you see what I have done with you and the people around you. Let me get your life in that way." He has showed me one stop to getting to my dream or the big thing in my life that He wants me to do through this story and a friend's dream. I won't talk about my friend's dream on here because this entery should be more of a devo. type one. I got this idea from this story at a church I went to but I'm expanding on it and putting it to work in my life.
Jesus took all of the disciples to the garden and told them to sit while He went and prayed. While he went to pray he took only 3 out of the 12 disciples with him to that spiecal spot to see what would happen. To see the big Plan unfold. He told those 3, Peter, James, and John, that His soul was distress and crushed. He wanted them there with Him to watch but yet Jesus went on a little more to where He could be alone to pray. He fall face down on the ground and prayed, "My Father! If it is possible let this cup of suffering me taken from me. Yet I want your Will to be done, not mine." Then He returned to the 3 and saw them asleep. He asked Peter, "Couldn't you stay awake and watch for me even one hour? Keep alert and Pray. Otherwise temptation with overpower you. For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak."
Jesus left 2 more times and both of those times the 3 disciples has fallen asleep. Those 2 times Jesus prayed the same prayer but different words, "Take this suffering from me but if it is Your will let it be." The 3rd time Jesus' betrayer was there and the disciples didn't even know. How does this might apply to my life you might ask. Well, to my life it is about my dream and plan He has for me.
We don't need the whole world helping us with our dreams, we might just need a few really close friends to help us get there and be apart of it if they have the same things in common. I just need a few people who believes in and what to change the same things I want to change for the better. My favorite part of these verses are "KEEP ALRET AND PRAY!" As Americans or people who live in America today, we need to do to that. Jesus was suffering big time and the disciples didn't notice. WHAT IF THE DISCIPLES DID NOTICE AND DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT? What if they helped Jesus with that problem? We have problems all around us today, big and small, we just need to keep our eyes open and alert.
I like how the pastor at the church puts it espically for my job and ministry. If you ever get to the point of where you don't like what you are doing or feeling like Christ doesn't want you there anymore then you are sleeping. You should never get sleepy of what you are doing for Christ. Your heart should be awake and alert to what you can do and you could always do more. I never want to get sleepy in my ministry or life for that matter. There is always children I could be reaching for Christ in every way, shape, and form. There is always more I could be learning about children too because they are not a simple thing to get. Even if I have to spend some time by myself seeing these things and making my dream come true because I'm the only one in my circle that believes what I do about these children then I will be the only one until God sends some more people my way with the same thing in common. I do need to plan out everything first and it might mean I take a break and just be with God and have Him grow me and my dream.
We need to be on our knees praying, "God, what would you have me do today?" or "what would you have me do next? I'm realizing I'm getting sleepy here." We don't need to stay at a job just because of the money it pays or the position we get but sadly that is what it has come to and a lot of people aren't happy in life. Do you think this could be the reason? Something to think about for all of us. Are we in our job for the money or for Christ because He has put us there for a reason? KEEP ALRET AND PRAY. To me right now, that is the most important command beside loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind.
God is saying, "Stop! and let me do the work! Can't you see what I have done with you and the people around you. Let me get your life in that way." He has showed me one stop to getting to my dream or the big thing in my life that He wants me to do through this story and a friend's dream. I won't talk about my friend's dream on here because this entery should be more of a devo. type one. I got this idea from this story at a church I went to but I'm expanding on it and putting it to work in my life.
Jesus took all of the disciples to the garden and told them to sit while He went and prayed. While he went to pray he took only 3 out of the 12 disciples with him to that spiecal spot to see what would happen. To see the big Plan unfold. He told those 3, Peter, James, and John, that His soul was distress and crushed. He wanted them there with Him to watch but yet Jesus went on a little more to where He could be alone to pray. He fall face down on the ground and prayed, "My Father! If it is possible let this cup of suffering me taken from me. Yet I want your Will to be done, not mine." Then He returned to the 3 and saw them asleep. He asked Peter, "Couldn't you stay awake and watch for me even one hour? Keep alert and Pray. Otherwise temptation with overpower you. For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak."
Jesus left 2 more times and both of those times the 3 disciples has fallen asleep. Those 2 times Jesus prayed the same prayer but different words, "Take this suffering from me but if it is Your will let it be." The 3rd time Jesus' betrayer was there and the disciples didn't even know. How does this might apply to my life you might ask. Well, to my life it is about my dream and plan He has for me.
We don't need the whole world helping us with our dreams, we might just need a few really close friends to help us get there and be apart of it if they have the same things in common. I just need a few people who believes in and what to change the same things I want to change for the better. My favorite part of these verses are "KEEP ALRET AND PRAY!" As Americans or people who live in America today, we need to do to that. Jesus was suffering big time and the disciples didn't notice. WHAT IF THE DISCIPLES DID NOTICE AND DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT? What if they helped Jesus with that problem? We have problems all around us today, big and small, we just need to keep our eyes open and alert.
I like how the pastor at the church puts it espically for my job and ministry. If you ever get to the point of where you don't like what you are doing or feeling like Christ doesn't want you there anymore then you are sleeping. You should never get sleepy of what you are doing for Christ. Your heart should be awake and alert to what you can do and you could always do more. I never want to get sleepy in my ministry or life for that matter. There is always children I could be reaching for Christ in every way, shape, and form. There is always more I could be learning about children too because they are not a simple thing to get. Even if I have to spend some time by myself seeing these things and making my dream come true because I'm the only one in my circle that believes what I do about these children then I will be the only one until God sends some more people my way with the same thing in common. I do need to plan out everything first and it might mean I take a break and just be with God and have Him grow me and my dream.
We need to be on our knees praying, "God, what would you have me do today?" or "what would you have me do next? I'm realizing I'm getting sleepy here." We don't need to stay at a job just because of the money it pays or the position we get but sadly that is what it has come to and a lot of people aren't happy in life. Do you think this could be the reason? Something to think about for all of us. Are we in our job for the money or for Christ because He has put us there for a reason? KEEP ALRET AND PRAY. To me right now, that is the most important command beside loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Staying in the States
Here is the entery that I have promised in my last two enteries about staying where I am for now. Staying in AR was never in my dreams. I will admit when I was in high school even in college until my Sr. year. I thought AR never. I'll never live in that state or the city where Wal-Mart is based. With all the rumors that go around about AR. :) That hasn't been my experience at all. I love the state and might settle here. I mean I am in my 3rd year living in AR and I never thought I would last that long. Let's see if I can do 5 years. I was at my parents' home this past weekend and thinking about things and looking up different church camps that I could do this summer instead of going on a mission trip and my FAVORITE TV show got me thinking and has been encouraging me a lot. My job also going me thinking "I'm needed here."
The things I have wrote about before this entery with my children really has gotten to me. I don't know if it God's way for me to see I belong here and that my traveling time might be up at least for a little bit. I see a need around me and I want to help it out. I have loved each of those little moments with my children I have now. I know there needs to be more foster homes around here because there are so many children without homes. It might be hard but it would be really rewarding. I never really had a place to call home. Yeah, I call SW MO my home and where I was raised but I didn't live there all my life. I never really had good friends that I still talk to today from the places I lived. The true first friends I have are my college friends. I wonder if it is time for me to really settle down find those friends that I have things in common with and maybe start something like my own business.
I'm the kind of girl that if I see a need I go after it and see if I can help and this foster home thing has my name written all over it single or with a husband who knows but right now I'm where I need to be and I love it. I couldn't have it any other way. My family lives close by now and I can get away from the city if I need to out in the beautiful country near by or a National Park. I know more people too now whether they are people who work at Wal-Mart to people at church. I know that there is a real world out there and it needs help. It is a world of sin like the Bible says and God's people are the missionaries wherever God has set them down at.
I will be seen through here but I got to thinking about when I started to travel and don't get me wrong I love to travel and it has been a dream of mine for years. I been to 4 different countries and been blessed to go to one country twice in a row. I started to travel when my grandpa and FFA advisor past away and I kind of started to wonder if that was not trying to get away from that. Trying to forget everything that happened there. I don't remember once not going somewhere whether another state or country after my advisor passed away. My FFA advisor would want me to settle and start something that makes a difference so would my grandpa, grandma, and granddad. They knew how much I love children and I have a plan that can help me write my dream come true and make it happen. I don't know why really but it did just hit me this week like that. Before that summer of my advisor passing, I worked at a summer church camp and it was hard to work but that was worth it too. I wonder what that would be like again. It would be neat to get involved in a ministry near by and help that grow in some way but right now that ministry is doing great on its own.
I always would like to work at the camp that I grew up going to in MO so that might be a possiblity this summer or there is another one that looks like fun if they need my help but it is only for a week in the summer so I don't know about that one. Giving back to the children at the camp I use to go to growing up would be so much fun and a neat feeling and thing to see. See how it is growing because I haven't been there in years. That's my plan for the summer right now and for my life but who knows we serve a God that can change things in a second so we'll see what He does with my life because it is His, not mine.
The things I have wrote about before this entery with my children really has gotten to me. I don't know if it God's way for me to see I belong here and that my traveling time might be up at least for a little bit. I see a need around me and I want to help it out. I have loved each of those little moments with my children I have now. I know there needs to be more foster homes around here because there are so many children without homes. It might be hard but it would be really rewarding. I never really had a place to call home. Yeah, I call SW MO my home and where I was raised but I didn't live there all my life. I never really had good friends that I still talk to today from the places I lived. The true first friends I have are my college friends. I wonder if it is time for me to really settle down find those friends that I have things in common with and maybe start something like my own business.
I'm the kind of girl that if I see a need I go after it and see if I can help and this foster home thing has my name written all over it single or with a husband who knows but right now I'm where I need to be and I love it. I couldn't have it any other way. My family lives close by now and I can get away from the city if I need to out in the beautiful country near by or a National Park. I know more people too now whether they are people who work at Wal-Mart to people at church. I know that there is a real world out there and it needs help. It is a world of sin like the Bible says and God's people are the missionaries wherever God has set them down at.
I will be seen through here but I got to thinking about when I started to travel and don't get me wrong I love to travel and it has been a dream of mine for years. I been to 4 different countries and been blessed to go to one country twice in a row. I started to travel when my grandpa and FFA advisor past away and I kind of started to wonder if that was not trying to get away from that. Trying to forget everything that happened there. I don't remember once not going somewhere whether another state or country after my advisor passed away. My FFA advisor would want me to settle and start something that makes a difference so would my grandpa, grandma, and granddad. They knew how much I love children and I have a plan that can help me write my dream come true and make it happen. I don't know why really but it did just hit me this week like that. Before that summer of my advisor passing, I worked at a summer church camp and it was hard to work but that was worth it too. I wonder what that would be like again. It would be neat to get involved in a ministry near by and help that grow in some way but right now that ministry is doing great on its own.
I always would like to work at the camp that I grew up going to in MO so that might be a possiblity this summer or there is another one that looks like fun if they need my help but it is only for a week in the summer so I don't know about that one. Giving back to the children at the camp I use to go to growing up would be so much fun and a neat feeling and thing to see. See how it is growing because I haven't been there in years. That's my plan for the summer right now and for my life but who knows we serve a God that can change things in a second so we'll see what He does with my life because it is His, not mine.
Friday, November 1, 2013
I Want to be Like You When I Grow Up
God showed me another reason to stay here in the lovely state of AR with all of its lovely people. :) This week has been hard on me as well as my little girl. I feel like I'm writing form a mission field which I sort of am but it is here in our own state. She has been fighting me every night trying to get her own way but I'm not letting it get to me. I know why she is trying to because I will rocked the other girls plus her and she wants all of my attention but can you blame her espically when she is leaving next week sometime but she doesn't know that. These children seem to know it in their body and show it through action but not words.
I caught her two times this week just looking up at the ciling and holding me close like giving me a tight hug and sitting on my lap a lot. One night this week it was looking up at the ciling a few times and then giving me a tight hug like she never wants to let go. Then last night it was while she was in bed she didn't want to lay down and I knew something was wrong so I asked her and she looked like she was almost going to cry and she got in my lap for a little bit like she needed the comfort. This girl is searching and it is breaking my heart because I feel like I'm leaving her. I never wanted to get this close to a child because I know that when they leave they might want me and be mad about it and at me and never remember me afterwards.
She wants me to say prayers and pray to God about her along with the other little girl in there. I have had the blessing of saying prayers with my little girls like they were my own. Praying that they would get rest for the next day, that God would watch over them, and for the one little girl she had something spiecal to say so I said that for her too to God. We read "The Scary Snake" and "An Angel Visits Mary" last night and she asked questions like, "What does it mean to disobey?" She was "scared" when Adam and Eve left the garden. She saw in the picture that they hid from God afterwards. She picked "An Angel Visits Mary" because she saw a picture of a girl saying a prayer and Mary was at the end of the story. The prayer was, "I will do what the Lord has given me to do."
She is just like me though. Wanting to hide the Bible under her pillow, saying her prayers every night, reading the Bible every night, and staying up on Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas because she is too excited too go to sleep. I knew that she was even more like me last night because she said something that broke my heart if not already broke. She wanted to come back to where I work and work there so she could see me when she is all grown up and I was just thinking "Honey, I'm not going to stay here that long." :) The 1st child that has said that to me and I've been wanted a child to say that because the the teen staff gets all these letters back from the teens and of course we don't because preschoolers have no idea most of the time of what is going on. Hearing it though coming from a person's mouth is the best feeling ever.
In a heartbeat, I would take her home if I could. It is strange you think about other children in other countries and pray for them and you have those certain ones after a mission trip to pray for but right now mine is right here in the state. She is a stubborn one (something we have in common too) and you just have to know how to make a deal with her yet make her think she thought of it. I know this is strange but lately more like this week I have felt God in the girls' bedroom. There is a feeling that connects us and I know it is God. I don't know why God sent her to me but I pray that I never get close to a child that I have her again because I know next week she better leave in the morning because I will start to cry at work if she leaves on my shift.
The funny thing is other people do not see what I see in her because she is crazy throughout the day but that is because she is seeking attention and we can't give her the attention through the day but at bedtime we can and that is when we do it. Give each of them some time to talk it out. Talk about the day, what they are thinking, or just talk. She has given me a story to write about and I will after she leaves. I have learned a lot through and with her. I have learned and grown closer to God and how I want to raise my own children someday if God is willing and that being a stay at mom is and for me will be a ministry hopefully someday. Put all these enteries together and my prayers that I pray after I come home into a book and it will be amazing.
I caught her two times this week just looking up at the ciling and holding me close like giving me a tight hug and sitting on my lap a lot. One night this week it was looking up at the ciling a few times and then giving me a tight hug like she never wants to let go. Then last night it was while she was in bed she didn't want to lay down and I knew something was wrong so I asked her and she looked like she was almost going to cry and she got in my lap for a little bit like she needed the comfort. This girl is searching and it is breaking my heart because I feel like I'm leaving her. I never wanted to get this close to a child because I know that when they leave they might want me and be mad about it and at me and never remember me afterwards.
She wants me to say prayers and pray to God about her along with the other little girl in there. I have had the blessing of saying prayers with my little girls like they were my own. Praying that they would get rest for the next day, that God would watch over them, and for the one little girl she had something spiecal to say so I said that for her too to God. We read "The Scary Snake" and "An Angel Visits Mary" last night and she asked questions like, "What does it mean to disobey?" She was "scared" when Adam and Eve left the garden. She saw in the picture that they hid from God afterwards. She picked "An Angel Visits Mary" because she saw a picture of a girl saying a prayer and Mary was at the end of the story. The prayer was, "I will do what the Lord has given me to do."
She is just like me though. Wanting to hide the Bible under her pillow, saying her prayers every night, reading the Bible every night, and staying up on Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas because she is too excited too go to sleep. I knew that she was even more like me last night because she said something that broke my heart if not already broke. She wanted to come back to where I work and work there so she could see me when she is all grown up and I was just thinking "Honey, I'm not going to stay here that long." :) The 1st child that has said that to me and I've been wanted a child to say that because the the teen staff gets all these letters back from the teens and of course we don't because preschoolers have no idea most of the time of what is going on. Hearing it though coming from a person's mouth is the best feeling ever.
In a heartbeat, I would take her home if I could. It is strange you think about other children in other countries and pray for them and you have those certain ones after a mission trip to pray for but right now mine is right here in the state. She is a stubborn one (something we have in common too) and you just have to know how to make a deal with her yet make her think she thought of it. I know this is strange but lately more like this week I have felt God in the girls' bedroom. There is a feeling that connects us and I know it is God. I don't know why God sent her to me but I pray that I never get close to a child that I have her again because I know next week she better leave in the morning because I will start to cry at work if she leaves on my shift.
The funny thing is other people do not see what I see in her because she is crazy throughout the day but that is because she is seeking attention and we can't give her the attention through the day but at bedtime we can and that is when we do it. Give each of them some time to talk it out. Talk about the day, what they are thinking, or just talk. She has given me a story to write about and I will after she leaves. I have learned a lot through and with her. I have learned and grown closer to God and how I want to raise my own children someday if God is willing and that being a stay at mom is and for me will be a ministry hopefully someday. Put all these enteries together and my prayers that I pray after I come home into a book and it will be amazing.
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Christmas Eve Sermon
Brett Furgason John 3:16-Main verse -God initiates because He loves us. -God loves us even when we are broken and sinful. -Gave His One of a...
