God really worked on my first day back from my Christmas break. He got me in gear right from the start. I was so lost and confused because of children leaving and different people working but He got me where He need to be even before I went into work this morning without me knowing it. These are the verses that I wrote down before work and the ones above them if you look them up. It talks about how people are God's house and we should the good architect or carpenter. Hopefully, I was the Architect today. Here are the verses:
" Or, to put it another way, you are God’s house. Using the gift God gave me as a good architect, I designed blueprints; Apollos is putting up the walls. Let each carpenter who comes on the job take care to build on the foundation! Remember, there is only one foundation, the one already laid: Jesus Christ. Take particular care in picking out your building materials. Eventually there is going to be an inspection. If you use cheap or inferior materials, you’ll be found out. The inspection will be thorough and rigorous. You won’t get by with a thing. If your work passes inspection, fine; if it doesn’t, your part of the building will be torn out and started over. But you won’t be torn out; you’ll survive—but just barely."- 1st Cor. 3:9-15
Yeah, after you read that what do you think? You think nothing until you are with a bunch of children after Christmas and ringing in the New Year in some place other then their own home. You think nothing of it until all of them are drawing pictures of houses or having you drawing pictures of houses for them in all shape and sizes to 2 windows to 5 windows and 2 doors. With those houses, they are drawing people too on the other side of the paper. What now? I felt like God was telling me something and He probably was. I wonder what was going through each of those childrens' minds. Yeah, it was a chain reaction one wanted a house and so did the rest of them but still you wonder. They want to be home instead of at another place with strangers and new things things that are not their own.
Home is not where you live but where your heart truly is. It is where the people you love and care about you are. People might take care of you other places but you might not love or care for them. You might be there just because you have to. Some of these children never get to go back to their true home.
If that wasn't bad enough to show me that I shouldn't have left, I had a convo. with one of my little girls but really it was God have a convo. with her and me at the same time. Here is the convo. I had with the little girl:
Me: Why are you upset/sad?
Little Girl: Because I miss my mommy and daddy.
Me: Is there something else bothering you?
Little Girl: The dark.
Me: Why:
Little Girl: Because I'm scared of the dark.
Then we went into this convo. some parts I can't share.
Little Girl: They were crying when I left and so was I.
Me: Don't ever let someone make you feel like it's your fault. You are
a sweet little girl. It's not your felt that you left.
Little Girl: My brother was crying too.
Me: You are sweet and don't you forget it. You can share your feelings
but don't feel like it is your fault. They just made some bad choices. You
are sweet and beautiful no matter what and don't you ever forget that.
God was talking to me through that convo. too has I thought about it on the way home. I've been through a lot these past couple of months and year you could say. It comes and it goes depending on situations.
Me: I'm not beautiful enough, smart enough, or loud enough for them.
They just say things so they think I won't get mad at them.
God: You are beautiful in My Eyes.
Me: You left me alone when everything happened.
God: I didn't I died for you so you could live for me.
Me: Where are you now when I'm so confused and scared about things?
God: I'm right here beside you leading you every step of the way. I'm
with the children, through family and friends, and in My Creation. Just
listen and trust me.
Me: It is hard.
God: Trust Me and I will Lead you where I want you!
Me (saying this right now): I'll try.
God: Don't try! Do! Let Go and let Me have control this next year!
Me:________________________(thinking a lot about things)
Again, can't share all of it even with me with out sharing certain situations but you get the idea on both of the convos. and see the connection, right? Sorry there are two different sizes of text on this page.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Seeing Things in a Different Light
I can already tell 2014 is going to be a life changing year for me. I'm having the most relaxing time this week then I have in a long time not worrying about anything but yet I'm out trying to shoot a bow and arrow, shopping, cooking, sewing, and just being me out in the country. I wrote a testimony too about how a friend's TV show as changed my life and really I can't describe it in words. I've been thinking about and talking to my little brother that hunts and shoots and just seeing how much arrows costs gets to me. If you make a living out of hunting it does cost a lot of money.
It is a whole new way of life and strangely enough I like it. There are no words for a lot of my life right now and might not be for awhile. I'm still trying to firgure out where I belong in AR and what my boundaries should be. I don't have a settled life and yet I want one in AR. My dad said I could start looking for a house instead of my apartment down there and I want that but it is a big step for me. These days have been so busy but yet I loved doing everything. I love my job but at the same time I love the people I'm around now my family.
I guess it means a lot when you have family and friends that feel like family around you and I don't have that in AR yet. I have some but not ones that I can just call up and they would drop whatever they are doing and hang out or very few that will even see how I'm doing. I have no one near me like that. They all live at least a half a hour to a hour away. I need to set new and more boundaries because of my job times being so strange and I need to do what I love. I need to stop trying to be someone I'm not and enjoy who I am. So what if I'm that country, small town girl that loves to be outdoors and maybe even hunt in a great while. I can do that by myself if I need to. I don't need to eat out or go to the movie or spend money to enjoy doing things with friends.
I've tried for so many years to be a city girl because of the cities I have lived in but I'm nowhere near that. I might not fit in with my city friends and that is okay. My boundaries might be mostly country, simple way of living because that is who I am. I just wish I lived in the country right now and had some friends that I could go shooting with at a range and things like that. I miss it and right now I'm thinking about how much I regret not spending time with those types of people in high school because now it could get me a long way or be fun at least. I pushed too hard on most of them. I'm learning to let up a lot espically these past few months. When I get those boundaries set, my life is going to change I hope for the better and show who I really am.
I also learned this week that I would settle for anything when shopping or worry about what other people think like if I got home late and so on. I would let my mom pick out my clothes and if I had it with shopping I would just settle with those clothes. That is not good for me either. I don't want to just settle in life with anything or worry about anything. I want to work for what I want. I might have to work years for it and even wait for it but in the end it would be worth it and even more speical. Three things I'm not going to do in 2014: not going to settle for anything less then I want, not going to be a city girl, and worry. Three things I am going to do in 2014: work hard for what I want and/or wait for it, trust God, and be a country girl while learning to do new things like shoot a bow and arrow and a hunting gun. As they say in AR, I'm going to learn how to become a true AR girl. :)
It is a whole new way of life and strangely enough I like it. There are no words for a lot of my life right now and might not be for awhile. I'm still trying to firgure out where I belong in AR and what my boundaries should be. I don't have a settled life and yet I want one in AR. My dad said I could start looking for a house instead of my apartment down there and I want that but it is a big step for me. These days have been so busy but yet I loved doing everything. I love my job but at the same time I love the people I'm around now my family.
I guess it means a lot when you have family and friends that feel like family around you and I don't have that in AR yet. I have some but not ones that I can just call up and they would drop whatever they are doing and hang out or very few that will even see how I'm doing. I have no one near me like that. They all live at least a half a hour to a hour away. I need to set new and more boundaries because of my job times being so strange and I need to do what I love. I need to stop trying to be someone I'm not and enjoy who I am. So what if I'm that country, small town girl that loves to be outdoors and maybe even hunt in a great while. I can do that by myself if I need to. I don't need to eat out or go to the movie or spend money to enjoy doing things with friends.
I've tried for so many years to be a city girl because of the cities I have lived in but I'm nowhere near that. I might not fit in with my city friends and that is okay. My boundaries might be mostly country, simple way of living because that is who I am. I just wish I lived in the country right now and had some friends that I could go shooting with at a range and things like that. I miss it and right now I'm thinking about how much I regret not spending time with those types of people in high school because now it could get me a long way or be fun at least. I pushed too hard on most of them. I'm learning to let up a lot espically these past few months. When I get those boundaries set, my life is going to change I hope for the better and show who I really am.
I also learned this week that I would settle for anything when shopping or worry about what other people think like if I got home late and so on. I would let my mom pick out my clothes and if I had it with shopping I would just settle with those clothes. That is not good for me either. I don't want to just settle in life with anything or worry about anything. I want to work for what I want. I might have to work years for it and even wait for it but in the end it would be worth it and even more speical. Three things I'm not going to do in 2014: not going to settle for anything less then I want, not going to be a city girl, and worry. Three things I am going to do in 2014: work hard for what I want and/or wait for it, trust God, and be a country girl while learning to do new things like shoot a bow and arrow and a hunting gun. As they say in AR, I'm going to learn how to become a true AR girl. :)
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Joy Wherever We Are
I usually don't do two a day but there is a memory verse that has been hitting me a lot this Christmas season and I saw it again just now and and with it passing I wanted to/felt like I needed to share it. It is:
“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."-Luke 2:8-10
I seem to be hearing and seeing a lot about Joy this month and I don't know why but it is hitting me too. We should be joyful and rejoicing that Jesus was born on this day. We should be happy with exceeding joy. We shouldn't be scared of what is in front of us though it might be scary. I know for me it is because I have no idea what is next but we should be joyful. We have a Savior that has been born for us and just for us. He wasn't born in a big castle or house.
He was born in a manger where animals eat from. He didn't have royal purple on his robe or nice clothes either. He was wrapped in white cloths. What I was just thinking was the cloths was white like He came to take our sins away and make us pure white. The cloths that He left in the grave were white too. He was wrapped when He was born and after he died in white cloths. He came to die so we might live. He loved us that much that He came down to this nasty earth and showed us how to live.
We sometimes go around not seeing that. Ok, a lot we go around forgetting it during the year. I like how a friend says it, "Jesus is the ONLY reason for the season." I would like to reword that a little bit though. I would like to change it to "Jesus is the ONLY reason that I live." I live for Him and no one else. My job might be hard and lives might be hard but we can always have joy and hope in the One who has us in His Hands.
He might find us in the darkest places like He was in the manger but He will get us out and give us joy. I was in a dark place around this time of year last year and a year later I'm loving it and honestly missing my kiddos. It is good to have relaxation time with family but I still miss them. I have a hard job and some days I am in the darkest places and hear the darkest stories from the children but I still stay strong and encourage them and pray for them and show them God's love while they are there. That is all I can do and God does the rest. I just have to trust Him and yes, it is hard at times espically if I really get hooked on some more then others which happens a lot but I'm learning to trust more and more everyday. Each child God puts in my life to teach me something about myself or Him.
One more thing about this verse: Jesus is our Shepherd. He is keeping watch over us and even the children. He knows our every thoughts and moves better then we do. We shouldn't be terrified because He is leading us in the Way He wants us to go if we will only trust Him like sheep trust their shepherd to more food and water. This is my Christmas message this Christmas. Again sorry I wrote two times today. I won't write again in the 27th or 28th.
“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."-Luke 2:8-10
I seem to be hearing and seeing a lot about Joy this month and I don't know why but it is hitting me too. We should be joyful and rejoicing that Jesus was born on this day. We should be happy with exceeding joy. We shouldn't be scared of what is in front of us though it might be scary. I know for me it is because I have no idea what is next but we should be joyful. We have a Savior that has been born for us and just for us. He wasn't born in a big castle or house.
He was born in a manger where animals eat from. He didn't have royal purple on his robe or nice clothes either. He was wrapped in white cloths. What I was just thinking was the cloths was white like He came to take our sins away and make us pure white. The cloths that He left in the grave were white too. He was wrapped when He was born and after he died in white cloths. He came to die so we might live. He loved us that much that He came down to this nasty earth and showed us how to live.
We sometimes go around not seeing that. Ok, a lot we go around forgetting it during the year. I like how a friend says it, "Jesus is the ONLY reason for the season." I would like to reword that a little bit though. I would like to change it to "Jesus is the ONLY reason that I live." I live for Him and no one else. My job might be hard and lives might be hard but we can always have joy and hope in the One who has us in His Hands.
He might find us in the darkest places like He was in the manger but He will get us out and give us joy. I was in a dark place around this time of year last year and a year later I'm loving it and honestly missing my kiddos. It is good to have relaxation time with family but I still miss them. I have a hard job and some days I am in the darkest places and hear the darkest stories from the children but I still stay strong and encourage them and pray for them and show them God's love while they are there. That is all I can do and God does the rest. I just have to trust Him and yes, it is hard at times espically if I really get hooked on some more then others which happens a lot but I'm learning to trust more and more everyday. Each child God puts in my life to teach me something about myself or Him.
One more thing about this verse: Jesus is our Shepherd. He is keeping watch over us and even the children. He knows our every thoughts and moves better then we do. We shouldn't be terrified because He is leading us in the Way He wants us to go if we will only trust Him like sheep trust their shepherd to more food and water. This is my Christmas message this Christmas. Again sorry I wrote two times today. I won't write again in the 27th or 28th.
Christmas Eve with Children
One of these days I will get to enteries about me and more devos but I have one more I really want to share that just broke my heart last night. One of my little girls were just having a hard time yesterday. I try to leave her alone and let her cry it out but my heart couldn't take it on Christmas Eve. I took a break from all the work and let her sit in my lap a little while while watching a Christmas movie before bed.
After supper, she just broke down crying and screaming and wouldn't stop at all. We tried to leave her alone in a room where we could still watch her to see if she would calm down but it just kept getting worse and louder. I gave her a chance to go watch the movie by herself but that didn't work. I tried having her sit on my lap and that worked wonders. She just needed that one on one time at Christmas but I don't blame her at all.
I rocked her to sleep and had a little talk to her before bed and she said that she missed her mommy and daddy and told me some other things that I can't say on here but it makes you wonder sometimes what goes through those children's minds. It makes you wonder the things that they see too. I will never understand it but God does and I can only do so much in 3 months and I have to trust that God will do the rest. It is sad because I'm off the rest of this week and she leaves soon after this week.
Sometimes I think that I would love to just be a fly in a house of these children to see what was really going on. I chose a fly because if I was a person I would really have to control myself. No kid should ever be treated like these children are. It was hard for me to leave last night and to come to my parents today. I just wanted to see the faces on their faces when they opened their presents but maybe next year. It was sad too because yesterday was just another day for them. I tried to make it Christmasy by stamping with Christmas stamps and putting a Christmas movie but it just isn't the same without a family. We had cookies to cut out and bake but we didn't get to that because there was only 2 staff to do both preschool and babies/toddlers.
That little girl made me wonder does she know what it feels like to have Christmas with her parents. Does she remember and if she does is that why she is upset? I'm sure it is. The sad thing too though is that she didn't want to call them last night either. She is really upset about something when that happens. This is another little girl that I could take home with me espically after what she told me last night. Let's just say it was another Heaven story like the little girl before her. I don't want to take a long time to write on here today but I just wanted to tell you all what my Christmas Eve was like where I work and this was it. The most hard yet speical moments for me because hopefully I was giving them a present last night by being there for them.
After supper, she just broke down crying and screaming and wouldn't stop at all. We tried to leave her alone in a room where we could still watch her to see if she would calm down but it just kept getting worse and louder. I gave her a chance to go watch the movie by herself but that didn't work. I tried having her sit on my lap and that worked wonders. She just needed that one on one time at Christmas but I don't blame her at all.
I rocked her to sleep and had a little talk to her before bed and she said that she missed her mommy and daddy and told me some other things that I can't say on here but it makes you wonder sometimes what goes through those children's minds. It makes you wonder the things that they see too. I will never understand it but God does and I can only do so much in 3 months and I have to trust that God will do the rest. It is sad because I'm off the rest of this week and she leaves soon after this week.
Sometimes I think that I would love to just be a fly in a house of these children to see what was really going on. I chose a fly because if I was a person I would really have to control myself. No kid should ever be treated like these children are. It was hard for me to leave last night and to come to my parents today. I just wanted to see the faces on their faces when they opened their presents but maybe next year. It was sad too because yesterday was just another day for them. I tried to make it Christmasy by stamping with Christmas stamps and putting a Christmas movie but it just isn't the same without a family. We had cookies to cut out and bake but we didn't get to that because there was only 2 staff to do both preschool and babies/toddlers.
That little girl made me wonder does she know what it feels like to have Christmas with her parents. Does she remember and if she does is that why she is upset? I'm sure it is. The sad thing too though is that she didn't want to call them last night either. She is really upset about something when that happens. This is another little girl that I could take home with me espically after what she told me last night. Let's just say it was another Heaven story like the little girl before her. I don't want to take a long time to write on here today but I just wanted to tell you all what my Christmas Eve was like where I work and this was it. The most hard yet speical moments for me because hopefully I was giving them a present last night by being there for them.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Comfort that They Need
You don't realize how blessed and nice it is to be with family after you have spent it with people and children who don't have a family to spend the hoildays with. I'm sure there will be more about after today on this same topic but I just had to share what happened yesterday. I got 3 presents and for me that is a lot and keeps me busy. Those presents aren't material things but children who need to be loved on. I had 3 situtations that I had to comfort children yesterday and some just broke my heart.
The first one wasn't too bad. It was just one of my little boys coming back from a visit and he needed encouragement to go play with the children once he got back. He was "away" for a second but he got over it really fast. The other one was my normal little girl that I talk to and comfort a lot lately. It seems she likes to be by herself more and more. I had to comfort her after something that she got to do and then at bedtime when she would not go to bed for the other teacher. She threw one of the biggest fits that I've seen yet from her but when I was rocking her she was fine and calmed down. That same girl told one of the other teachers that someone was in Heaven and that is why she was upset but she didn't say who. I'm so mad at myself because this is a replay of the little girl before her and I should have known how to handle it. This girl is more emtional and reserved then the last one I think. What is strange though is that she is sleeping in the same bed as the girl before her with the same problem.
You get all these little problems before the holidays because parents want to see their children or talk to them and wish them a merry Christmas but they don't realize how hard it is on the children. There is a lot of emations going on throughout the place and even for me because how I wish I could take them home tommrow and give them each a present even though they will get a lot there tommrow. It is the family setting that means the most to me and it should to everyone too.
Then my other present was one of the other little girls woke up from her sleep crying. I went into the bedroom to see what was the matter and she said to me "I want you" and gave me a hug. We talked a little while about what scared her in her dreams to tinkerbell because that is what made her happy. Sometimes though I wonder what goes on in their minds because this little girl I'm scared that she has watch too many scary movies and video games about killing and zombies and such. This little girl reminded me of another little girl that I had and they were in the same bed too. She reminded me of her because we started to talk about the dargonflies on the wall and the other little girl would do that when she was scared too to get her mind off of things.
I'm starting to see another pattern for them and for me. I might be the shy one in the bunch, in the whole building, but I'm the most caring and understanding one. I am also shy because I'm the most determined one too and you can't talk much when you have your mind set to something. I'm can be the most sassy one when you get to know me and I open up a lot but it takes a lot of trust for me to get there with some, most people. To be honest, I wouldn't want to spend the day before Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve any other way.
I keep thinking about my grandma and grandad that passed away. We would spend Christmas Eve at their house every year but now I'm spending it with children who needs it spent with and I know that would mean a lot to the both of them espically grandma. Doing what I love and working hard at it. I guess you can say I grew up in a family that hard work was the only way, well not really, but one of the ways to get what you want and here I am. It is by no means an easy job but I love it too death.
The first one wasn't too bad. It was just one of my little boys coming back from a visit and he needed encouragement to go play with the children once he got back. He was "away" for a second but he got over it really fast. The other one was my normal little girl that I talk to and comfort a lot lately. It seems she likes to be by herself more and more. I had to comfort her after something that she got to do and then at bedtime when she would not go to bed for the other teacher. She threw one of the biggest fits that I've seen yet from her but when I was rocking her she was fine and calmed down. That same girl told one of the other teachers that someone was in Heaven and that is why she was upset but she didn't say who. I'm so mad at myself because this is a replay of the little girl before her and I should have known how to handle it. This girl is more emtional and reserved then the last one I think. What is strange though is that she is sleeping in the same bed as the girl before her with the same problem.
You get all these little problems before the holidays because parents want to see their children or talk to them and wish them a merry Christmas but they don't realize how hard it is on the children. There is a lot of emations going on throughout the place and even for me because how I wish I could take them home tommrow and give them each a present even though they will get a lot there tommrow. It is the family setting that means the most to me and it should to everyone too.
Then my other present was one of the other little girls woke up from her sleep crying. I went into the bedroom to see what was the matter and she said to me "I want you" and gave me a hug. We talked a little while about what scared her in her dreams to tinkerbell because that is what made her happy. Sometimes though I wonder what goes on in their minds because this little girl I'm scared that she has watch too many scary movies and video games about killing and zombies and such. This little girl reminded me of another little girl that I had and they were in the same bed too. She reminded me of her because we started to talk about the dargonflies on the wall and the other little girl would do that when she was scared too to get her mind off of things.
I'm starting to see another pattern for them and for me. I might be the shy one in the bunch, in the whole building, but I'm the most caring and understanding one. I am also shy because I'm the most determined one too and you can't talk much when you have your mind set to something. I'm can be the most sassy one when you get to know me and I open up a lot but it takes a lot of trust for me to get there with some, most people. To be honest, I wouldn't want to spend the day before Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve any other way.
I keep thinking about my grandma and grandad that passed away. We would spend Christmas Eve at their house every year but now I'm spending it with children who needs it spent with and I know that would mean a lot to the both of them espically grandma. Doing what I love and working hard at it. I guess you can say I grew up in a family that hard work was the only way, well not really, but one of the ways to get what you want and here I am. It is by no means an easy job but I love it too death.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Being a Voice for the Children
Yesterday was just another day with blessings pouring in from right and left. It was sad blessings most of them but it helped me understand the children more. I'm starting to see to that I can love all the children at once but I can only really focus on one one at a time like really talk to them and hold them at night, which is sad. I need more arms to hold all of them and mind space and ears to listen and take in everything they are saying.
Start out with the good one that happened to me. I think one of my little girls will be a real encourager if she gets with the right family. She says the sweetest things that are so encouraging even to us grown ups. It was the same girl that called me adorable Weds. that called me sweet yesterday. I just want to take this one home with me but can't. She keeps telling me that she loves me every time during bath like 3 or 4 times and then adds something like "you're sweet" on the middle of it.
Then I saw where my understanding came in twice yesterday and it was good and then bad. The good one was that one of my boys were having a melt down over what we thought was nothing at all but to him it was a big something. We tried everything that we were told to do with him and when he behaves the way he did but it didn't work. Finilly I thought about how some people don't like their food touching because it could be OCD or part of Autism. Well, this little boy did not what his gravy on his busicut at supper time. We had breakfast for supper. That was the only thing touching each other on his plate and when we got a plain busicut he stopped having the melt down.
The other thing that took my understanding was with a little girl. She has been really stubborn and throwing fits a lot more lately but loves to be the big helper. I'm learning that the stubborn ones like to be the helpers because it gets their minds off of things. She threw herself down on the floor at bedtime because she wasn't the first one that was going to get rocked. I changed my mind because I felt like she need to talk about her feeling so I did rock her and talk to her about how she was feeling and why she was feeling that way. I asked questions like: How are you feeling?, Why are you feeling that way?, and What made you feel that way?. She explained it to me and what she mainly said was that her daddy lost her and that is why she felt mad. I told her that she needs to try and use her words to tell the teachers how she feels instead of throwing her fits so we know how to help because we want to help her feel happy and have fun where she is now.
I see a pattern here for myself too lately. I have the patience to deal and work with the ones that can't or won't speak for themselves. I'm there to encourage those type of children because I know what it feels like to not speak for myself or having a hard time talking because people can't understand me as well. I see me in some of those fit throwing segments even though I had a great amazing life compared to these children. I had a hard life at the same time because of who I was and how God made me. It wasn't anyone's fault it was just how I was made. Couldn't speak right and very easily upset. I remember when I was young that I would get so upset because no one would understand me so they didn't know what I wanted and that was just the way I was born. I have a great family and they tried so many things but it was just the lineage and the way God put things in order for me and I'm glad He did because now I can reach a lot more children this way. My family taught me compassion and love and through everything I had to learn patience with myself which is rolling over now. They also listen when I have a problem if I'm not to stubborn to go ask for help with it.
I see that some people give up too easily with those children who can't talk or have a hard time talking so I take over to see what I can do. Sometimes all they might not is calm talking to or a listening ear which I have. Sometimes I think if I shouldn't have a higher job like a case manger or social worker where I could really speak for them and be their voice. We'll see I like where I am right now though so I'll stay. :)
Start out with the good one that happened to me. I think one of my little girls will be a real encourager if she gets with the right family. She says the sweetest things that are so encouraging even to us grown ups. It was the same girl that called me adorable Weds. that called me sweet yesterday. I just want to take this one home with me but can't. She keeps telling me that she loves me every time during bath like 3 or 4 times and then adds something like "you're sweet" on the middle of it.
Then I saw where my understanding came in twice yesterday and it was good and then bad. The good one was that one of my boys were having a melt down over what we thought was nothing at all but to him it was a big something. We tried everything that we were told to do with him and when he behaves the way he did but it didn't work. Finilly I thought about how some people don't like their food touching because it could be OCD or part of Autism. Well, this little boy did not what his gravy on his busicut at supper time. We had breakfast for supper. That was the only thing touching each other on his plate and when we got a plain busicut he stopped having the melt down.
The other thing that took my understanding was with a little girl. She has been really stubborn and throwing fits a lot more lately but loves to be the big helper. I'm learning that the stubborn ones like to be the helpers because it gets their minds off of things. She threw herself down on the floor at bedtime because she wasn't the first one that was going to get rocked. I changed my mind because I felt like she need to talk about her feeling so I did rock her and talk to her about how she was feeling and why she was feeling that way. I asked questions like: How are you feeling?, Why are you feeling that way?, and What made you feel that way?. She explained it to me and what she mainly said was that her daddy lost her and that is why she felt mad. I told her that she needs to try and use her words to tell the teachers how she feels instead of throwing her fits so we know how to help because we want to help her feel happy and have fun where she is now.
I see a pattern here for myself too lately. I have the patience to deal and work with the ones that can't or won't speak for themselves. I'm there to encourage those type of children because I know what it feels like to not speak for myself or having a hard time talking because people can't understand me as well. I see me in some of those fit throwing segments even though I had a great amazing life compared to these children. I had a hard life at the same time because of who I was and how God made me. It wasn't anyone's fault it was just how I was made. Couldn't speak right and very easily upset. I remember when I was young that I would get so upset because no one would understand me so they didn't know what I wanted and that was just the way I was born. I have a great family and they tried so many things but it was just the lineage and the way God put things in order for me and I'm glad He did because now I can reach a lot more children this way. My family taught me compassion and love and through everything I had to learn patience with myself which is rolling over now. They also listen when I have a problem if I'm not to stubborn to go ask for help with it.
I see that some people give up too easily with those children who can't talk or have a hard time talking so I take over to see what I can do. Sometimes all they might not is calm talking to or a listening ear which I have. Sometimes I think if I shouldn't have a higher job like a case manger or social worker where I could really speak for them and be their voice. We'll see I like where I am right now though so I'll stay. :)
Thursday, December 19, 2013
God's Gift of a Day
It always seems like the little gifts that are unnoticed during a plain day is noticed during a really busy day or at least to me that is how it seems. I had a busy day at work yesterday but it was God's present to me because I haven't had a day like that in a long time. One little sweet thing happened one after the other and I got to know the children more and love on them more it felt like. I had 3 amazing things happen to me yesterday and it just made my day. Some of the things were just trying to make a different in the child's life too and I got joy from that as well.
One was from a little girl when I was putting her pjs on her before bed. She hugged and kissed me. She also said, "I love you, Miss Tiffney" a muiltple of times and she also said, in those middle of I love yous, "You're adorable." Just broke my heart to hear that from a little girl. It was complient after complient from her while getting her pjs on. Then I was rocking another little girl to bed and she was very talkative before bed. She told me all of about her mommy, daddy, and pink fish. She was talking really fast and like she wanted to get it out of her mind. For this little girl, it was the first time that she talked non-stop to me before bed because usually she wouldn't. She would just be quite but not last night so I'm hoping and praying I'm getting somewhere with her.
Another sweet moment but sad moment I had with a little boy. He was in time out because he didn't stop what he was doing and he was told a lot of times to stop it and he was warned. He sat by himself for a little awhile quitely but then he started to say, "I won't be a bad boy anymore" and hearing that just broke my heart so I had to go over and explain to him why he was sitting there alone. I told him, "You are not a bad boy and we don't think that here. Your actions and what you do are bad. You made bad choices. We don't do this and that but we do do this and that. You aren't a bad boy." He was trying to hug me to get out of time out before the talk but I made him sit while I talked to him.
Another moment was when I found out something about one of my little boys that I didn't know. I feel like God gave me that moment to do something about it. I've been wanting to do another ministry on my own and now I know where to start because of this little boy but I just have to go see if I can start it there. It was like God saying, "Here is one of your answers" but yet it was so sad to hear the little boy say it like he did.
All of this during and after an outing with the children. Yes, it was really a busy day for us. I hope my next 4 days before Christmas there is like yesterday was. I hope God keep giving me presents every day. I just need to be on the outlook for them. :)
One was from a little girl when I was putting her pjs on her before bed. She hugged and kissed me. She also said, "I love you, Miss Tiffney" a muiltple of times and she also said, in those middle of I love yous, "You're adorable." Just broke my heart to hear that from a little girl. It was complient after complient from her while getting her pjs on. Then I was rocking another little girl to bed and she was very talkative before bed. She told me all of about her mommy, daddy, and pink fish. She was talking really fast and like she wanted to get it out of her mind. For this little girl, it was the first time that she talked non-stop to me before bed because usually she wouldn't. She would just be quite but not last night so I'm hoping and praying I'm getting somewhere with her.
Another sweet moment but sad moment I had with a little boy. He was in time out because he didn't stop what he was doing and he was told a lot of times to stop it and he was warned. He sat by himself for a little awhile quitely but then he started to say, "I won't be a bad boy anymore" and hearing that just broke my heart so I had to go over and explain to him why he was sitting there alone. I told him, "You are not a bad boy and we don't think that here. Your actions and what you do are bad. You made bad choices. We don't do this and that but we do do this and that. You aren't a bad boy." He was trying to hug me to get out of time out before the talk but I made him sit while I talked to him.
Another moment was when I found out something about one of my little boys that I didn't know. I feel like God gave me that moment to do something about it. I've been wanting to do another ministry on my own and now I know where to start because of this little boy but I just have to go see if I can start it there. It was like God saying, "Here is one of your answers" but yet it was so sad to hear the little boy say it like he did.
All of this during and after an outing with the children. Yes, it was really a busy day for us. I hope my next 4 days before Christmas there is like yesterday was. I hope God keep giving me presents every day. I just need to be on the outlook for them. :)
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Christmas Eve Sermon
Brett Furgason John 3:16-Main verse -God initiates because He loves us. -God loves us even when we are broken and sinful. -Gave His One of a...
