The One True Father

             Today is Father's Day and I'm thinking about all the fathers or father figures that I have had in my life and where they are today. The sermon at church was about how fathers need to be the leader of the household and how we have one True Father that gives us Mercy and provides for us everyday. I will admit I started to cry because of so many reasons. There was one certain reason that I cried and I didn't think about it until today, until it was too late.
           I'm doing a lot for my father this Father's Day because I don't want another one to past by thinking I could have done more then I did. I created every gift that I'm giving my dad this father's day. I made him a big chocolate chip cookie and put icing on it myself. I also made a collage of country pictures on a piece of wood and put words like: love, wise, father, honor, and strong on it. I think I am so much more involved because of what happened this past Nov.
          I consider myself really blessed because I have 5 father like figures in my life. I have had 2 dads, 2 grandpas, and a mentor/teacher that acted like a father towards his students. Out of those 5 fathers, I have 1 of them still with me today and that father is my birth father. What really got me today, in church, was the thoughts of my 2nd dad passing away this past Nov. and the time that I spent and didn't spend with him. While my parents worked, they sent me off to some babysitters that lived on a farm so that explains my country side and they became second parents to me. I consider them my parents for the first 4 years of my life.
           I really didn't think about it when my 2nd dad was alive about doing anything for him on Father's Day. Maybe I did when I was littler but when I got bigger I wouldn't do anything for him. You know how people get think the know everything and don't need help but the more I am living the more I am learning yes, I do need that help and because of him is the reason I am where I am today. Yes, I would think about him but never send a card or anything like that to let him know I was. I regret know and because of that today was a little hard for me. That why, I think, relationships are getting more and more important as the years go on for me and some of them I do not what to let go even though they are young friendships that started only a few years ago.
          The sermon also reminded us that no matter how badly our earthly fathers will mess up and that they will because none of us are perfect, that we have a Father in Heaven that never messes up and will love us non stop and forever. We need an earthly father who follows the Heavenly Father. We need that kind of wisdom and strength and love and forgiveness and so on. When the person talking said that it comforted me a bit because there are times that I feel all alone in AR but then I got to thinking about the children I take care of. I'm blessed to have those 5 father figures in my life 6 when you count God. The children I take care of think they have 1 father and that is the father they are taken away from or maybe they don't even have that 1 father. I thought about a little boy that I have now and two other boys that I had when I first started to work there are how they just had so much anger in them. They never looked happy, always fought, and would always cuss when mad and use those cussing words in the right way.
          I just have to think what did those little boys see in the man in their life and it breaks my heart. I'm not a judge that is for sure but I know by the way they act and what they know sometimes that the guys in their lives weren't very fatherly like. I mean when a little boy knows how to cuss the right way and cries because he doesn't get what he wants, and yells "you are hurting me", "let go of me", and other things it just makes you really wonder what happened. When a little boy can go to happy to anger to happy again in just 10 seconds something is wrong there too.
         Then with me wanting to have my own children and thinking about those children you don't have a father in their lives or a Godly one at all makes me think a lot about my future husband if I'm meant to be married. It makes me think, "what do I want not just in a Godly husband but in a Godly father too?" I want my husband to want and love on children no matter what they have done. I also want my future husband to be the provider and protector of the family. There are so many things I want my Godly future husband to be but I will say this a right God man knows how to have time both for his wife and his children. If I had to chose, though, I would want a Godly man that would spend more time with "our" children then me because that is just needed more this day in time.
          All this to say, "Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there! Hope you had a Blessed day!"