God Took That Doubt Away

         I will be the first to admit that I doubt a lot and I know that is bad. I'm a Christian and I should trust in God but it is not as easy as it sounds especially when it involves someone that you care about. You want to trust Him but you don't want to let go. I have had a lot going on lately where I just need to let go and let God. It is like every area of my life right now is just letting go and being free while God is working behind everything. There is one or maybe a few situations that made total sense to me after last night but I didn't know until this morning.
         I won't go into deep detail because I don't want to embarrass a friend of mine but I will try to explain it to where it gets my point across. I have been in this negative situation with a friend of mine for about a month now. I won't tell you how it started but I can tell you that I asked to do something and my friend told me "not to" and that is ok because it is a line they don't want crossed yet. I respect that all the way. After my friend wrote me the letter back, I didn't respond the best way that I could and the deal was that I don't write anymore emails to that friend so I didn't until last week.
         Here is the reason: First, I felt really bad about how I responded because no matter what I want to be open and honest to my friend and I want my friend to feel the same way around me. Then God showed me something in my life at work and just with everything in my life and that was that I have a problem with being jealous of people and things. I never thought about it bothering me until one night last week. Yes, I was jealous and I would say that to myself every so often but I would just shove it to the side like no big deal but my friend put up a video on Facebook that really was what I needed to hear last week.
          Because of that video, I said sorry for what I said before and told my friend I was honestly jealous of what my friend had in life. It was to that point where I just didn't know what else to do. Of course, I did encourage my friend on what they were doing after I told them how I felt. A few days after like always, I started to doubt myself about writing the email. I'm one of those people where I need to stay away from it for a few days and then look back on it or need a response right away. Well, I knew I wouldn't get a response right away and that is even if my friend would like at the email. I waited a few days and looked back on it and everything seemed prefect. Just what I wanted to say and in a way that was understandable.
           Just to put in here I still pray for my friend because that is something that no one can stop me from doing. If I need to support my friend in the way of pray instead of anything else, so be it, that is what I will do. I will tell you that I have prayed more this past month for my friend then any other time. I don't mean just a list of prayers of what my friend needs help with but deep down from the heart prayers because I don't know the exact things to pray for for my friend.
           Apparently, I still had a little doubt in my heart because God did something last night that made it known today that it was His Prefect Timing. My friend and the family was driving home from another part of the family when they got hit in the back on the bumper of their car by a drunk driver. My friend had a gun in the car so they were ready for anything. As brave and heroic as my friend might of been, he stayed on this driver's tail and got him over on a side street until the police got there. The police had been looking for this drunk driver all night. My friend said that the concealed gun was out but the police got there just in time.
           After that story and situation all my doubt about doing the right thing a week before was gone. I knew I had done the right thing when I found out what happened. When it is one of the first things in the morning, it is not very pleasant. Makes you worried about them all day and I did. I kept playing this thought over in my mind all day: "What if I didn't tell my friend what I did almost a week ago?" and "What if it was a lot worse then it was?" All of these what if questions ran through my mind all day. It could have been a lot worse and a lot more could have happened.
          I will admit I even played each and every situation in my head: "What if my friend had to shoot?" "What if someone, be it my friend or someone in the family, got hurt? Then what?" "What if the driver did a full on crash into the car instead of a "bump" on the back on the bumper?" But then, I went to my "happy place" and just thanked God that no one was hurt and that everyone was safe. I also thanked God for showing me that He does answer the prayers I send up His Way. God was, for sure, with them. There was no doubt about that because you hear so many stories about drunk drivers and other drivers that just makes you shut your eyes.
           I don't know what I would have done if it was one of those stories. I talked to 3 out of 6 of them but I have seen every one of them. Oddly enough, whether they want to admit it or not, they are part of my church family so they do mean a lot to me. It was just another everyday miracle here on the earth because they really do exist. We just have to open our eyes to see them. Another lesson from this entry is: "If you ask God to do something, He will do it." It could be taking doubt away in your life or answering some prayers that you have prayed for a long time.
          It goes to show you that you should never stop praying for people who are and were your friends and even pray for your enemies. You never know what is going to happen in life and you never want to regret not doing something for them. The doubt will be taken away and there will be a lesson behind it every time. It will change your attitude towards your enemies or even your friends when you are going through a rough spot in your friendship. We both might be stubborn and determined and focus on certain things but God knows that and I truly believe that He is in the center working on us both with those things. One day at a time.


It, kind of, goes back to the title of this blog: "Pray the Hardest, when it is the Hardest to Pray." Found it in my Grandma's Bible after she passed away. Meaning if you keep praying hard and straight through the problems something good will come out of them.