Walking Up

          This is a fast entry but I hope it really make people think. I am sitting in my car thinking about what took place on this day and I can't be more thankful and it can't be more true. I was in high school just 15+ years ago and it wasn't easy at all. I went to a country school and got through everyday because of my family and God.
          It's not about the gun contorl or more or less guns. Coming from a person that felt like a loser and weak everyday in high school, it is more about the love and the people you have around you. I always regretted having my parents at school but it was good because I could go to their office or classroom when I got overly stressed. Now that I look back I kick myself for doing that because it showed I was weak and would run to my parents for every little thing but it could have been worse in so many ways.
           The classmates around me had no
Idea what they were really doing to me  because I was one of the quiter ones but I would go home and cry. I know there were times that I even got really mad but I knew other people cared. I had to keep reminding myself I was there for however many years and then life would be better. I would also be the girl in the bathroom crying at times because my anxiety and depression would get the best of me. I think it was more anxiety that I wasn't taken care of them depression. I was the one that got made fun of for every little thing. I was the one everyone picked on for everything. I was the target if you want to call me that.
            I have fought over a lot of things in my high school years and it's because of the family and teachers I had around me. It was a teacher that sent me to my dad's office to get away. It was my coach that encouraged me everyday. It was another teacher that I knew would be there if I needed someone to talk to and he would listen. Granted it was a small school but that is just as bad if not worse then a big school.
            I am not taking a side but I am saying that then problems start with the people around the kids. The families and friends. Funny I don't even talk to any of my so called "best" friends from high school anymore and I only really talked to a few maybe less then 5 on Facebook. I am also saying kids are good at hiding things espically when they have a mental disorder. Yes, anxiety is a mental disorder.
               Yet, I am over that and I am who I am because of all of it. I am stronger then ever because of what the kids did. I beat them. I didn't let them beat me up at all. I rose above and beyond what they ever thought I could do and did it because I had to prove them wrong in the back of my mind. Look at where I am today! So walk up, not out!