Pray the Hardest, when it is the hardest to pray

  Five Ways to Rediscover Discernment and Closeness With God  You can begin using the same gifts you loved at the children’s shelter again, in ways that bring peace instead of exhaustion. Ask God for discernment again. Pray: “Lord, help me recognize what matters today and give me wisdom to know when to act.” Notice the little moments. Remember helping children write letters in sand? You were patient, observant, and encouraging. Those are the same qualities you loved using at the shelter. Listen without feeling responsible for fixing everything. Just like a conversation with an old friend in 2014, sometimes one thoughtful question is enough. Make room for quiet reflection. After work, think about one moment when you felt peaceful, useful, or connected to God. Explore work that allows those gifts to flourish. Your interest in occupational therapy makes sense because you enjoy understanding children’s individual needs and helping them develop. A thought to remember: “Discernment ...

               We had a substitute yesterday that taught me a lot about a lot of things but mainly about adults with autism. The substitute became my teacher. With my job and my interest, I have researched autism a thousand times and read up on it and all the things that are going on around it now. I knew there was different levels of autism. I knew what it was like but I never really experienced it like I did yesterday with this sub. I have seen maybe levels 1 and 2 maybe even 3. Everything he did, I have researched and read about. Just never saw it in a person til now.                  The sub was so nice and he wanted to teach the children but he was teaching way above their heads. I heard him trying to talk about boundaries and personal space with a couple of children but those children would just stare at him. He also took his time to explain a whole book to one child. He also cleaned and organized...

"Sometimes the way forward is returning to something that helped you long ago."                That is why I am back to writing in my blog again. I have missed it all of these years and it is crazy that I didn't make time to write things down since I have been married. Things have been crazy this year and I need to find a way to release things and this is one of those ways that I hope to bring back.                I have rediscovered this hobby because of a friend of mine. That friend came back into my life and then went away again but what can you expect, right? Anyways, that friend made me look back at a very important time in my life that I wrote down in here and I learned something very important from that. That lesson is: it is a good thing to write down your life or at least what is happening in your life so you can look back at it and see what you can learn from it later on in life.     ...

 “Sanctification — separation from old to new.” At first you connected that to the changes happening in your life. The old included the difficult ending from ten years ago. You were hurt when a person asked you to stop messaging him. Looking back now, though, you can also recognize that you were sometimes persistent because you cared and wanted answers, while he was going through his own confusing transition after leaving the shelter. You don't know everything that was happening on his side, and you don't need to anymore. Then came May 2026. You unexpectedly saw the same person again after about a decade. At first, it brought everything back—the hurt, questions, memories, and even some anger. You weren't sure whether you were ready to forgive him. But something changed over the summer. By August, your interactions had become simple: “hey,” smiles, recognition, and that big grin you keep talking about. You described it beautifully yourself: his actions became warmer, and you...

You began with your handwritten surrender prayer. As we talked through it, one of the biggest themes became the question: “What do I do with all this caring?” You realized that for much of your life, caring and fixing have been connected: I notice → I care → I feel responsible → I step in → I try to make it better → I carry the outcome. But caring does not always create a responsibility to act. A new question emerged: “Is this for my hands, or is this heart only?” HEART ONLY “Heart only” means something can matter deeply to you without becoming something you have to fix. You can care, pray, hope, and then leave it with God. My heart can love. My heart can hope. My heart can pray. But my hands can stay open. Sometimes “I’ll pray for you” really can mean: “I care about what you are going through, but I recognize that I cannot and should not control it. I will bring it to God.” Prayer isn’t doing nothing. It is choosing not to appoint yourself as the solution. CARE → PRAY → RELEASE Instea...

1. Live your faith instead of only talking about it. 2. Keep the heart; release the weight. Caring does not mean I have to fix everyone or everything. I can pray, do my part, and trust God with the rest. 3. Surrender means being still, too. Love does not always require action. I do not always have to intervene. 4. Live my own life well. I can focus on my health, boundaries, career, faith, creativity, and relationships. If someone's ordinary way of living can affect another person without even realizing it, then the way I live my own life can affect people too.

  Walk Toward Peace Keep the heart, The one that loves so deeply. The one that sees the hurting, And gives so willingly. Release the weight, Of things you cannot change. Not every storm is yours to calm, Not every hurt yours to arrange. Remember your worth, Beyond the work you do. You are more than what you carry, And God is caring for you, too. Walk toward peace, Though the road may be unknown. Trust the One who guides your steps, And know you’re not alone. Keep the heart. Release the weight. Remember your worth. Walk toward peace. For surrender isn’t giving up on love. It’s learning that love doesn’t require losing yourself. Written By: Tiffney Curtis Written On: October 6, 2026

Tonight I realized that the story of Peter walking on the water feels a lot like the season I am in. The storm and the wind represent the uncertainty, job stress, old wounds, questions, and everything that has felt overwhelming during the last couple of years. I don’t have to understand why every bit of the wind is there before I take another step. A person's unexpected return for such a short time became a reminder. His smiles and little “heys” may simply have been friendly greetings from him, but in my heart they came to represent: “Remember.” Remember our time at the shelter. Remember those kids. Remember how deeply I cared. Remember the confidence I had. Remember my calm, firm voice. Remember the gifts God put in me. Remember the dreams and parts of myself that life had caused me to lose sight of. The shelter memories are part of that same reminder. They aren’t telling me to go backward or recreate my old life. They remind me that God has already used my gifts before and that e...

God, thank You for people and for the unexpected part they played in my life this year. Thank You for using that reunion to bring back memories I needed, stories I needed to tell, and pieces of myself I needed to remember. Thank You for simply being you—even though you probably have no idea what your little “hey” started.  One person unexpectedly reappeared after all these years, and so much followed. He reminded me of the shelter. The shelter reminded me of my stories. The stories reminded me of my skills. And the skills reminded me of myself. Those memories became Stars in the Sky. They helped me remember the person I was when I worked with those children—the patience, connection, instincts, love, and confidence that were still inside me even when I had stopped trusting them. And now I am seeing those parts of myself show up again with the children I work with today. I am recognizing my professional strengths. I am thinking differently about my future. I am learning that I do not...

Tonight I realized something big about 2026. I started this year in a hard place. My word for 2026 was YES, but at the beginning of the year I couldn’t have known what that word would come to mean. Then, unexpectedly, he crossed my path again. He didn’t have to do anything dramatic. He recognized me. He said hey. He smiled. But seeing someone again who had known me during the children’s shelter years brought an entire part of my life back to the surface. He reminded me of the shelter. The shelter reminded me of my stories. The stories reminded me of my skills. And the skills reminded me of myself. Those memories eventually became Stars in the Sky.  At the same time, I started recognizing things in myself again that had felt buried after a difficult professional season. I began trusting my instincts with children again. I could see the patience, connection, calmness, and ability to help a dysregulated child that I had used years ago at the shelter showing up again in my work today. ...

Tonight I realized something big about 2026. I started this year in a hard place. My word for 2026 was YES, but at the beginning of the year I couldn’t have known what that word would come to mean. Then, unexpectedly, an old coworker crossed my path again. He didn’t have to do anything dramatic. He recognized me. He said hey. He smiled. But seeing someone again who had known me during the children’s shelter years brought an entire part of my life back to the surface. He reminded me of the shelter. The shelter reminded me of my stories. The stories reminded me of my skills. And the skills reminded me of myself. Those memories eventually became Stars in the Sky.  At the same time, I started recognizing things in myself again that had felt buried after a difficult professional season. I began trusting my instincts with children again. I could see the patience, connection, calmness, and ability to help a dysregulated child that I had used years ago at the shelter showing up again in my...

 It has taken almost a year to feel like you are getting back to normal after working with a teacher who pushed so much of you down. While you were with that teacher, you could actually feel your confidence getting lower every single day. We talked about how this does not necessarily mean that your professional skills disappeared. Instead, repeated correction, second-guessing, or feeling that your judgment was not welcome may have made you less willing to trust and express what you already knew. The skills could still be there even while your confidence in using them was buried. Then, almost a year later, you began recognizing those skills again. Over two days at school, two different children became dysregulated. Without having to relearn what to do, you found yourself becoming calmer, reading the child, listening, waiting, connecting, using simple boundaries, and helping the child move toward regulation. These moments reminded you strongly of the way you worked with children at t...

Over the last two days, I have recognized an important pattern in the way I support children who are emotionally or behaviorally dysregulated. What people often describe simply as “patience” is actually a larger professional skill set. When a child is having a difficult moment, I naturally tend to: • Notice changes in the child’s behavior and emotional state. • Read nonverbal cues and recognize when the child is becoming dysregulated. • Lower my own voice, energy, and intensity instead of matching the child’s escalation. • Remain calm and give the child time to process. • Listen to what the child is communicating. • Build connection and reassurance. • Use simple, consistent behavioral boundaries. • Adjust my response to the individual child instead of treating every situation the same. • Help the child move toward emotional and behavioral regulation. • Maintain connection while still holding the child accountable for appropriate behavior. Professional terms that describe these strength...

There is another piece of today’s realization that belongs in the story: Nathan. Seeing Nathan again didn’t create my interest in child development, life skills, or occupational therapy. Those pieces were already part of me. But seeing him again—and then going back through my shelter memories and stories—seems to have brought an old part of myself back into focus. I realized Nathan and I may have had more professional common ground than I understood when we worked together. The shelter wasn’t simply about helping children with schoolwork. We were working with kids who needed adults to help with routines, relationships, behavior, emotions, communication, independence, and everyday life skills. We were both part of teaching children how to do life. Maybe that’s part of why he has remained meaningful to me. Caring for children has always mattered deeply to me, and I worked alongside someone who also chose work centered around helping children. I can’t know exactly what Nathan thinks or fe...

Today I realized something important about my career and my child development degree. For years, I sometimes thought I had chosen the wrong degree. I knew child development was broader than an education degree, but I never really understood why that mattered to me. Now, after all these years working with children, I think I finally have words for it: I teach children how to do life. I have always thought of myself as someone who teaches children, but teaching doesn’t only mean academics. Daycare and preschool taught children how to share, communicate, follow routines, manage emotions, become independent, solve problems, and live alongside other people. At the shelter, so much of what we taught was life skills—not just schoolwork. We were helping the whole child. That also helps me understand why my child development degree fit me better than I realized. I wasn’t only interested in what children needed to know academically. I was interested in how they grow socially, emotionally, physic...

Today I realized that my frustration at school is showing me something important about where I may want to go next. This afternoon, I literally found myself running part of the classroom. I noticed that the kids needed something more purposeful than simply watching videos. One child wanted to work at his desk, so I had him work there. That made me think about all of the task boxes we’ve made that aren’t really being used. Why not start using them a little at a time? These kids may be older, but in some areas they need routines taught in small, concrete steps. We don’t have to introduce an entire system at once. We can teach one piece first: Desk time → one task box → finish it → put it away. Once they understand that routine, another piece can be added. The goal isn’t rigidity. It’s purposeful structure and eventually more independence. And then I realized why I’m getting so frustrated: Why am I the one noticing these things when I’m the para and I’m getting paid the least? The answer ...

The more I thought about this season, the more the word “bookmark” seemed to fit. My old co-worker wasn’t the story. The children were the story. But seeing someone again who was connected to that old chapter of my life became like a bookmark—something that helped me find my place again. A bookmark literally connects two moments in reading: where you stopped and where you begin again. Metaphorically, it can connect two seasons of life too. I was living my current chapter when someone from an old chapter suddenly appeared. That made me reopen pages I hadn’t looked at in years. I found old journals, remembered the children, rediscovered dreams and lessons I had almost forgotten, and began looking at those lessons through the woman I am now. The bookmark wasn’t the destination. It simply marked a place I needed to return to. And maybe that is one of the strangest and most beautiful parts: a PERSON became the bookmark. My old co-worker didn’t write those old chapters, and he didn’t create ...

Today I realized something important: I don’t want to simply supervise children. I want my time with them to help them grow. I got into childcare because I wanted to work with children—not spend my days managing adults. I want to work with the kids. I don’t want to manage all the adults so that I can work with the kids. I don’t want either extreme I’ve experienced in the classroom. Last year felt too rigid, and this year doesn’t have enough structure. What I’m looking for is rhythm. Routine enough to feel safe, flexibility enough to grow. I want structure with a purpose. And maybe that’s why this job has been bothering me so much lately. I’m not necessarily tired of working with children. I may be tired of being the unofficial adult-in-charge while officially being the para. I don’t want to spend my career simply getting children through the hours. I never wanted simply to pass the hours with children. I wanted the hours I was given with them to mean something. That’s what my book Star...

When I said “you’re learning where you end and another person begins,” I meant learning which things belong to you and which things belong to them.  With an old co-worker, your feelings belong to you. You can care about them, hope for friendship, send one invitation, and decide how you behave. But their feelings and decisions belong to them. You can’t decide whether they accepts the request, wants a friendship, or how quickly they responds. At school it’s the reverse lesson. Other people can have opinions about how you work, but you still have your own voice and boundaries. You don’t have to surrender your role simply because somebody else wants to step in. So imagine an invisible line between two people: My side: my feelings, choices, words, actions, boundaries. Your side: your feelings, choices, words, actions, boundaries. Healthy respect means I take responsibility for my side without trying to run yours—and I don’t let you run mine. That’s what I meant by knowing where you end ...

The Sayings I Want to Remember ❤️ Here are the words that came out of everything I’ve been learning: “Less is more.” “Less carrying. Not less caring.” “Do what is mine. Leave what isn’t mine.” “I can care without carrying everything.” “You don’t need a smaller heart. You need a lighter load.” “Am I helping them carry this, or have I picked it up for them?” “Help when it’s mine to help. Put down what belongs to someone else.” “I can have a huge heart without putting the whole world on my shoulders.” “I can care about someone without carrying their choices.” “I can care about my students without carrying the whole classroom.” “I can care about Nathan without carrying the friendship for both of us.” “I can love people without making myself responsible for everything.” “Sometimes healthy love says, ‘This part isn’t mine to carry.’” “I am the para. I will do my job well. I will help my kids. But I am not responsible for doing everybody else’s job too.” “August taught me what I’m carrying. S...