Why do I Journal/Blog?

         My grandma went to be with the Lord last night at around midnight. She is now talking and singing with her Father in Heaven. There is no more pain for her and she can hear and talk again. She is in the "Garden of Eden" looking at and planting the flowers and listening to the birds. I'm handling pretty well for now because I am at my parents' house. I did cry hard Friday night when I first heard she had only so long to live.
        I went up to KC to see her yesterday for the last night and she was sleeping peacefully. My aunt had put an old tape player by her ear with soft Christian music playing. She loved her music too. My aunt was there just being with my grandma (her mom). We probably spent about a hour and a half at the nursing home and then we went out to eat lunch together. Before I left, I rubbed her hair and told her that "I loved her". I didn't cry when I did that either which was another big surprise and answer to prayer but of course I was up at 3:00 am in the morning reading verse after verse from the Bible that she had and that I got. I also spent the trip up there writing out a chapter of the Bible that was from church a week before. I just felt like I had the Lord's comfort in all of this and I will see it is really surprising.
        I have had a lot of losses here recently but God knew the Timing so I kind of see now why things happened the way they did. I'm resting and taking time to be with family which is needed big time. It seems like my mission right now is just being around family and friends. It is hard when you lose a father like person not even a year ago because in some ways you are still trying to get over that. It will be a year this November. Then you lose your job 2 weeks before. Then your grandma passes away. What's next is what you wonder? I really couldn't have guessed that everything that has happened has happened like it did. It is all in God's Timing and He knew that.
       Then again I have a couple of things I can be thankful for like getting a new niece and spending time with my nephews and nieces. A friend's dream is coming true a little at a time and a big step just happened two weeks ago. I got to see my college girlfriends and catch up with them after like 2 years of not seeing most of them. I don't know where my life is going right now but I'm okay with that. My grandma would of wanted me to take time with family and the Lord and just rest for awhile. That is what I am doing right now. She would want me to celebrate the hard times and I am by resting.
       There are somethings that I would remember that my grandma left behind. The main thing was she was a strong and quite women of God. She devoted her life to the church and people. She loved people and would talk non-stop. She also loved God's Creation, mainly flowers and birds. She would spend most of her time outside in the garden. She loved her grandkids and her great grandkids. She was always there for us. Those on the big things that I will remember about my grandma. There are some little things that I will remember and hope to carry on with my future family and now if I can.
         I already underline the words that mean the most to me in the cards that I send. I got that from her. I need to start putting verses in them like she did. I loved how she gave each grand child a Christmas ornament or even when we got a gift it would always have a verse somewhere on it or in it even. Then you might be wondering why I like blogging or where I get it from. I love doing it and writing down all my memories or important events in my life and I get that from my grandma too. She has a lot of journals that she left behind that I am hoping to get if no one else wants them. She also took a lot of notes during sermons like I do. That will probably be the one material thing that I hang on to and make sure I do because that is how I express myself the best. My future husband will just have to get use to that some day because it does mean something more to me.
           I will feel strange without my grandma or any of my grandparents around. I'm only 27 years old and my grandparents all went to be with the Lord. If that doesn't make a girl strong, I don't know what does. I know I was blessed even having grandparents growing up but when I think about it, "I think has this all really happened. I'm only 27 years old that seems a little to young to lose all of your grandparents." I know it really isn't when you consider how many kids are in my family but that is what it seems like. Grandma is happy now and that is all that truly matters and I know for sure that she is with the Lord so that, of course, helps a lot.
          There was or is no question "is she going to be with the Lord when she passes?" She lived a life where you knew for sure that she would be going with the Lord when she passed away. One thing, if I learned anything from her when she lived, is that that is how I should be living my life. Loving other people and God and forget about me. Taking into consideration what other people are feeling and help them out.
           She was a GREAT example of what it meant to having God shine His Light through a person. I wanna live like that.